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    What A Total D#

    | KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Theme Of The Month

    (During college, I had a summer job as a cashier in a grocery store.  I got along well with most of the staff, so they let me goof around a little bit. My last shift there before I went back to school, I had someone that the training warns you about.  If you work there, you couldn’t take checks unless they had their driver’s license or if they had a store card with a C# denoting they had check cashing privileges there. Having an unsecured card meant you had a D#.)

    Me: “All right, your total is [amount].”

    Customer: “Here you go.”  *hands me a check with a D# on it*

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, does your card have a C# on it?”

    Customer: No, a D#.”

    Me: “Do you have your driver’s license?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “I can’t take a check with a D# on it.”

    Customer: “They’ve always taken it before.”

    Me: “They weren’t supposed to.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t have it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t take a check without one or the other.”

    Customer: “Well, my card has a D# and I didn’t bring my driver’s license.”

    Me: “Well, I…”

    Customer: “Listen, you little son of a *****, you take that **** check or I’ll call your manager.”

    (At this point, knowing it’s my last shift, I decide I’m going to win this one.  I whip off my vest and name tag, and throw them on the floor.)

    Me:  ”FINE. If I’m going to be treated like this, I QUIT.”

    (I walk off to the break room and sit down.  A few minutes later, a manager walks in, laughing.)

    Me: “You don’t seem upset.”

    Manager: “No, that was great.”

    Me: What did she tell you?”

    Manager: “She said you threw a fit and wouldn’t take her check.  When I went through the number thing with her, she said that’s what you said.”

    Me: “I did.”

    Manager: “I figured.  I told her she made one of my best cashiers quit, and suddenly, she had her driver’s license.”

    Detail Disoriented

    | Darien, CT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, New Hires

    (I decide to work with a recruiter. I’m sent to a small business for the interview. The owners, a wife and husband, are running late. After about 20 min they’re ready for me. After the usual interview back and forth the wife grills me a bit more.)

    Wife: *with narrow beady eyes* “So, what adjectives would you use to describe yourself relating to work?”

    Me: “Detail-oriented! Because I have a strong economics background, I know how critical micro-components can be with respect to macro-implications!”

    Wife: *stares*

    Me: “I’m also very diligent and strive for excellence in everything I do. Whether it be in my personal, academic, or professional life. Oh and I think it’s important to think outside the box and not always adhere for rigidity’s sake.”

    Wife: “Uh-huh.”

    Me: “Oh, and I’m not sure if you remember me? We took a class together back at [Local Community College] before I transferred to [Prestigious Local University]?”

    Wife: *becoming flustered* “Oh, no, I don’t recall. I was just improving my skill-set to help me run MY BUSINESS.”

    (The interview ends shortly after that. I thought all in all it went well. I would’ve taken the job short term for the money but wasn’t particularly interested; more on that soon. A couple of days later I follow up with the recruiter.)

    Recruiter: “How did it go for you?”

    Me: “Pretty good. I feel well qualified.”

    Recruiter: “Well [Wife] didn’t really give rave reviews. She said you put her off because you said you had OCD.”

    Me: “What? I used the words ‘detailed-oriented’ and ‘diligent.’ And this was for an accounting position!”

    Recruiter: “I wouldn’t worry about it. She didn’t like anyone I sent to her and decided to delegate the role among existing staff.”

    (So why wasn’t I thrilled about the job in the first place? In that class I took with her, the owner proved to be one the dizziest, scatter-brained people I have ever met! She completely flunked the class despite seeking help from classmates – including me!)

    Networking Notworking

    | Manchester, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Money

    (I work at a call center giving out coffee and tea to all the staff. I have one main friend who I hang out with every now and then. One day it came up about my job and why I can’t help but be so cheerful and happy all the time.)

    Coworker: “Just wondering, how much do you earn working here?”

    Me: “I’m on salary; I get just over £28K.”

    Coworker: *long pause* “Twenty eight grand?”

    Me: “Yes, mate. With this new pay rise it will be £30K at the end of the month.”

    Coworker: “I just about pull in two thirds that amount including commission. How on earth does a coffee boy make that much money?”

    Me: “I’m a qualified networks engineer and was hired to maintain the networks for the building. On my first day I was greeted by the company owner who immediately got me making the coffees. I have been here three years and he gives such high performance marks that HR gives me pay rises.”

    Coworker: “And you did not even think to tell the owner there was a mistake?”

    Me: “If you were me, would you?”

    Coworker: *long pause, then a wink* “You’re running low on biscuits.”

    Not Quite The Toast Of Good Service

    | ON, Canada | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (This interaction is with another employee, while I’m on toast duty during breakfast.)

    Associate: “Come on! We need more toast!”

    Me: “I’m putting them in as soon as you call them out. I can’t make it go faster!”

    Associate: “Yes, you can!”

    (She then turns the toaster onto the lightest setting so the bread comes out much, much faster.)

    Me: “But it’s not toasting them now… It’s just warming up the bread.”

    Associate: “So? You’re not eating it!”

    Me: “But the people who are eating it are paying for it!”

    Should Have Quit Earlier On Balance

    | Torrance, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful, Theme Of The Month

    (I take a part-time job at a bath products store in order to help pay for my tuition. This did not work as planned however.)

    Manager: *during shift, to me* “The new schedule is up. Go write down your schedule so you’ll remember.”

    (I walk to the break-room only to discover that I was scheduled for only one three-hour shift.)

    Me: “Why am I only scheduled for one shift?”

    Manager: “Because of the high volume of employees this holiday season I can only afford to schedule you for one shift.”

    (The day of my shift comes around and I receive a call from my manager.)

    Manager: “Hi! Turns out we don’t need you to come in today. We’ll keep in touch with regard to your schedule.”

    (This exact scenario occurs the next month. I decide to resign and find a better, more steady job. I type a resignation letter and arrive at the store location to hand it personally to the manager.)

    Me: “Since I haven’t officially worked in two months I have decided to resign. Here is my resignation letter.”

    Manager: “YOU CAN’T QUIT! HOW WILL I BALANCE THE SCHEDULE?”

    Me: “Seriously? You add me to the schedule and then tell me not to work. Your schedule will be fine. I QUIT!”


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