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    I’ll Have An Explanation On The Side

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (After a long day at work I decide I’m too tired to make dinner and opt for getting food from a well-known fast-food drive-thru on my way home.)

    Server: *over drive-thru speaker* “Hi, what can I get you?”

    Me: “Hi, could I get [Burger] as a small meal?”

    (The screen comes up with my order, saying ‘large meal.’)

    Me: “Oh, sorry, but I wanted a small meal, not a large.”

    (Screen changes to ‘medium meal’ and I decide that’s good enough.)

    Server: “What sides do you want?”

    Me: “Um… fries?”

    Server: “Which two sides do you want?”

    Me: “Um… well… fries and I take [Soda-pop] as the drink.”

    Server: “Yes, but which two sides do you want?”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about and frantically start scanning the menus around me for a clue.)

    Server: “… Hello? What two sides do you want?”

    Me: “Ah, sorry, but what can I choose from?”

    (Silence…)

    Me: “Um, sorry? What options do I have?”

    Server: “What do you want for your two sides?”

    Me: “What can I choose from?”

    (Silence…)

    Server: “Please pull forward to pay.”

    (I am really confused at this point, pull forward, pay, and get my food soon after. When I open it up at home I look inside and see that I did get a mini cheeseburger and a box of popcorn chicken as sides. Only then do I vaguely remember an ad I had seen weeks ago about how you can create your own meal with your own sides. But why couldn’t that server just explain it to me?!)

    Joke Is Older Than He Is

    | Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I’m a woman in her mid-forties, proud to look my age.)

    Me: “Just this bottle of wine, thanks.”

    Cashier: *looking at me quizzically* “Can I see some ID, please?”

    Me: *flattered and smiling* “Here you go!”

    Cashier: “Just kidding! You’re old!”

    Big Guy Posse Meets Big Sky Country

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Employees

    Security: “ID, please.”

    Me: *I give the guy my ID*

    Security: *slaps an intercom button* “Security, all hands up front.”

    Me: *about to s*** my pants* “What? What?! Wha—”

    (Five big guys show up at a run.)

    Security: “Everybody! This is what a Montana ID looks like.”

    The Family Weather Report

    | Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (My coworker is an attorney. He’s walking in from lunch.)

    Coworker: “It looks like it’s going to rain.”

    Me: “Um, say it right, please!”

    Coworker: *as Ollie Williams from Family Guy* “It’s gon’ rain!”

    Me: “That’s better.”

    Needs That Coffee More Than You Do

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My stepdad is a vegetarian, but when he goes out of town for work he stops at a well-known burger chain for coffee. Nothing else, just coffee. As most people may know, these chains often have their employees ‘upsell’ certain products.)

    Worker: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Stepdad: “Medium coffee, please. Two cream, one sugar.”

    Worker: “And would you like to try our home-brewed coffee today?”

    (Pause.)

    Stepdad: “Long day?”

    Worker: “I’ve been here since 10…”


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