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    A Unique Personal Announcement

    | Eindhoven, The Netherlands | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    PA Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a very special photo opportunity in our basement with [well known national soccer player]. Truth be told, he isn’t really here in person, but it is a unique experience none the less!”

    A Very Scary Month

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworker is from France. His accent is very good, but is very strong with certain words:)

    Coworker: ‘’I need the report from a ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’What?’’

    Coworker: ‘’ A ghost. A ghost’s report. It’s missing?’’

    Me: ‘’A ghost report?’’

    Coworker: ‘Yes. A ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’Ghost.’’

    (He wanted the report from August.)

    A Non-Dairy Date For Your Diary

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (We’re having a little party at work because a few of my coworkers are leaving at the same time while some of my other coworkers are being promoted. One of my coworkers is vegan so we bought vegan cupcakes for everyone.)

    Coworker #1: “Man, I’ve never had vegan cupcakes before. They’re pretty good.”

    (Coworkers #2 and #3 nod in agreement.)

    Coworker #1: “Its almost like, I don’t know, weird knowing that was my first time. It’s like they—”

    Coworker #2: “THEY TOOK YOUR VEGINITY!”

    Coworker #1: “…I was going to say ‘they popped my vegan cherry’ but that works, too.”

    Coworker #3: “Well, cherries are vegan, so popping it wouldn’t work in this context.”

    Recipe For Repeated Disaster

    | Lund, Sweden | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I call my local health clinic to make an appointment.)

    Me: “Hello. My name is [My Name] and I would like to make an appointment with a gynecologist. I am on [type of birth control pill] and would like to discuss if there are any other options.”

    Receptionist: “All right, I’ll make an appointment for Monday.”

    Me: “Great, what time?”

    Receptionist: “No, it’s not an actual appointment; I just make a note here to [Doctor] to renew your prescription.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, perhaps I wasn’t clear. I don’t want to renew my current prescription. I am not happy with the pill I am on; I would like to discuss my options.”

    Receptionist: “Oh. I see. Well, then I have an appointment for Wednesday next week.”

    Me: “All right, that could work. What time is it?”

    Receptionist: “No, it’s not a specific time; it’s a note to [Doctor] to call you during the day to talk to you before she renews your prescription.”

    Me: “But I would like to discuss my options with her. If I can do that over the phone, I’m happy to, but I want to make sure I can have a discussion with her and get advice, not just a new prescription for the same type of birth control pill that makes me experience all these side effects.”

    Receptionist: “Yes, whatever, your appointment is now for Wednesday next week.”

    Me: “…and she will call me and we will be able to have an actual discussion?”

    Receptionist: “Goodbye.”

    (I called another clinic and got excellent service. When I called the first clinic to cancel my “appointment,” the receptionist was just as rude as before and practically hung up on me again. Never going back there!)

    Charged With A Battery Assault

    | Piacenza, Italy | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Technology

    (It is 1997. My boss decides it is time to buy a new cell phone, so we go to the small store owned by a friend of his. He ends up paying the equivalent of $1000 for two phones with new plans. Since my boss and the owner know each other, he doesn’t feel the need to put a sticker with their logo behind the battery of the phones, which they usually do as proof of being purchased there. The next day, my boss’s phone is faulty, so he gives me the phone to get sorted at the store. I go and speak to the clerk:)

    Clerk: “This phone is clearly faulty, but I can’t exchange it as it wasn’t purchased here. There is no sticker behind the battery.”

    Me: “I was here yesterday with my boss. Your coworker actually sold us two phones in the owner’s office. He said that the stickers were not necessary. You can ask your coworker.”

    Clerk: “He’s on his day off, and you didn’t buy this phone here.”

    Me: “May I speak to the owner?”

    Clerk: “He’s not here, and this phone does not come from here.”

    Me: “Listen, I was here yesterday with my boss. He paid for two phones and activated two new plans.”

    Clerk: “You haven’t bought this phone from us. Now, please leave.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll call my boss and we’ll try to figure out what to do. Have a nice day.”

    (While standing on the sidewalk in front of the store windows, I call my boss and explain the situation. Suddenly the store door slams open…)

    Clerk: “Still here? Not convinced? Maybe I should call the cops to convince you to go away?”

    (My boss hears what the clerk says and gets quite angry.)

    Boss: “Is the owner there?”

    Me: “No, he’s not—” *the owner suddenly walks in front of me* “— Oh, he’s here now!”

    Boss: “Good. Wait two minutes, then go inside and… enjoy.” *click*

    (A couple of minutes later I go inside. The clerk sees me, and in front of about six or seven other customers, starts shouting at me.)

    Clerk: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU? DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO CALL THE COPS? I’M TIRED OF—”

    (Suddenly, the boss comes out of his office and approaches the clerk.)

    Boss: “COME. WITH. ME. NOW.”

    (They go to the back. A few minutes later the clerk comes back with a pale face and his boss standing four feet from him, very angry.)

    Clerk: “I’m sorry from the inconvenience, sir. Here’s a new phone for your boss…”


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