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    Don’t Be Tardy With Your Tardis Responsibilities

    , | Canada | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My job requires checks at specific times, so I often wear a watch. Not many other employees do, including managers. The play area is closed and cleaned before the rest of the restaurant.)

    Manager: “[My Name], go clean the play area at 8:30.”

    (I check my watch. It’s 8:45.)

    Manager: “Did you hear me? You need to clean the play area at 8:30, okay?”

    Me: “Okay.” *mumbling so my manager can’t hear me* “I’ll just… make time go backwards.”

    Not Handing Over Justice

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (Many cashiers have a pet peeve about customers placing money on the counter when we have our hand ready to take it. Usually this doesn’t bother me much, but one night I am closing my store and it is nearing the end of my shift…)

    Me: “Do you have your [Store] card or phone number ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have my card somewhere…”

    Me: *reaches hand out to accept her card as she pulls it out of her wallet*

    Customer: *throws her card on the belt next to my hand, making it hard for me to pick up*

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $7.59. Will you be paying cash or card this evening?”

    Customer: “I think I have some cash on me.”

    Me: *once again reaches hand out to accept the cash she has found*

    Customer: *throws cash on counter*

    Me: “All righty, 41 cents is your change. Would you like your receipt?”

    Customer: “Please…” *reaches out hand to take her receipt*

    Me: *puts receipt on the counter right next to her hand* “Have a nice night!”

    Working Against The Clock

    | Berkshire County, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, History, Technology

    (I am 15, and I have a cheap digital watch that has stopped working. My dad offers to pay for a replacement battery since he is going to the store to buy a replacement band for my mother’s favorite watch, an old-fashioned wind-up watch that used to belong to her father. There are two people working the jewelry counter at this department store, an older gentleman, who was helping out a family, and a girl maybe two or three years older than I am.)

    Dad: “I would like a replacement battery for this watch.” *hands her mine* “…and a black leather band that is the same size as the broken one on this watch” *hands her my mom’s*

    (My dad and I start discussing the other stops we need to make, and are not paying attention to the girl behind the counter. My dad glances her way and immediately cries out in surprise since she is jamming a screwdriver into the seam of my mother’s watch trying to pry the back panel off of it.)

    Dad: “Wait, what are you doing?!”

    Clerk: *surprised at being challenged* “I’m trying to change the battery.”

    Dad: “Only the smaller one needs a battery; that one just needs a new band.”

    Clerk: *slowly, and condescending* “This one needs a battery, too.”

    Dad: “No, it doesn’t. It only needs a band.”

    (The clerk turns the watch over and points to the (not running) watch.)

    Clerk: “If the little hands on the watch are not moving, it is because the watch needs a new battery.”

    (My dad is not known for his patience, so I decide now would be a good time to jump in before something gets broken. The other clerk behind the counter and the family he was with heard enough of the exchange that they were now watching us as well.)

    Me: “That watch belonged to my grandfather and was made before batteries were invented.”

    Clerk: *sneering* “Well, then, how does it go?”

    (I take the watch from her, wind it a couple times, and hand the (now running) watch back to her.)

    Clerk: *baffled* “Well… then… how does it go?”

    (I explain to her how there is a spring in the watch that you wind up, and as the spring slowly unwinds it powers the watch. At this point the other clerk had finished the transaction for the other family and they all joined us at our end of the counter.)

    Clerk: *still not getting it* “But how does it go?”

    (The older clerk motions us over his side of the counter where he replaces the band on the watch. The other family (which included children younger than I am, but knew full well that some old watches ran without batteries) begin trying to explain to the younger clerk how a wind-up watch works – she is still obviously not getting it. My dad pays for everything and as we are leaving we heard the young clerk one last time.)

    Clerk: “But how does it go?”

    Almost Reached My Limit With You

    | Belmont, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Technology

    (I enter the local cell phone store to change from a family plan to an individual plan. It is only my sister, my cousin, and I on the plan and my cousin has left many months ago. I take a number and wait my turn. Finally a young guy comes over, mumbles something, and walks away. I don’t hear what he said so I kind of follow him. He looks up my account on his computer.)

    Worker: “Wow, you have a lot of people on this family plan.”

    (He says this as though I should be ashamed for scamming this conglomerate by starting a family plan with a bunch of friends or something.)

    Me: “Oh, really? There should only be two, or three at most.”

    (I figured my cousin’s name might be showing up, too, but am still not sure why three people is a lot for a family plan?!)

    Worker: “Well, the limit is four.”

    Before You Serve Spinach You Have To Crack A Few Eggs

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My boss has decided to add a spinach as a pizza topping to our menu. Since she’s concerned about the price of fresh spinach and the possibility of waste, she has asked me for some opinions.)

    Me: “Well, if you’re really concerned about waste, you could use frozen spinach.”

    Boss: “I don’t know. I thought you health nuts liked fresh.”

    Me: “Well, yes, but I’m just as concerned with bottom line as you are. How about we add another salad to the menu that uses spinach?”

    Boss: “I thought we could leave it as an option, but I was afraid the wait staff wouldn’t ask people if they wanted it and it’ll all go bad.”

    Me: “All the more reason to add a full spinach salad to the menu!”

    Boss: “What would we even put on it?”

    Me: “Well, strawberries are most popular, but those are expensive if they’re not in season. Oh I know! I’ve had a salad before that’s spinach, chicken, eggs, and bacon. That would be really good!”

    Boss: “You really think so?”

    Me: “Yeah! It’ll use the spinach and all those toppings are ones that we have stock of anyway.”

    Boss: “How would you do the egg though? Just crack it on top and leave it raw?”

    (I’m struck speechless for a moment while a coworker who has been listening to our conversation the whole time cracks up.)

    Me: “No, [Boss], we’d slice up a hard boiled egg. Like with all the other salads we serve that have egg on them.”

    Boss: “Oh! That makes so much more sense!”


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