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    User Confuser

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in IT for a particular high end women’s fashion site. One day I get a call from one of our designers in the studio.)

    Caller: “I forgot my password again.”

    Me: “That’s all right. Let me just reset it… and your temporary password is “TempPass1″. Capital ‘T’ and ‘P.’”

    Caller: “It’s not working.”

    Me: “That’s okay. Make sure to capitalize the ‘T’ and ‘P’ and try again. It’ll prompt you for a new password when you login.”

    Caller: “Well… I mean… I don’t know my username either.”

    (I know this particular person, so I’m sure this isn’t a malicious social engineering attempt.)

    Me: “It’s your name.”

    Caller: “Yeah, I don’t remember my username.”

    Me: “It’s your name. First name, dot, last name.”

    Caller: “Yeah, I don’t know it.”

    Me: “[Caller], you know your name. I know you do. I’m calling you by your name right now.”

    Caller: “Wait… Oh, yeah! Okay, hold on… Nope, I don’t think I remember my username. Can you reset that too?”

    (I walked down to the studio and watched her try to login to her computer with her personal email address.)

    The Tip Was The Tipping Point

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Money

    (My friends and I are eating at a Japanese restaurant for a spontaneous lunch. The food was decent but service was almost nonexistent. We all agree not to tip. I go to pay.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $16.”

    (I give her $15 in bills and a $2 coin.)

    Cashier: *pockets coin* “Your total is $16. You didn’t give me enough.”

    Me: “Actually, I did. That’s why I gave you the coin.”

    Cashier: *combination of surprise and annoyance* “Ooohh, okay. That’s enough money now.”

    (She gave me my change and I met my friends outside. Turned out she didn’t want to give my friends their change either.)

    Instructions Aren’t So Clear

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (While we’re being checked out, an item buzzes. The register clearly displays the error, ‘BUFFER FULL – PRESS CLEAR.’)

    Cashier: “Huh. This isn’t working.”

    (She slowly reads the message, then ignores it and tries again without pressing clear. Same buzz, same error. So she tries again. And again. And again.)

    Wife: “It’s saying, ‘Buffer full – press clear.’”

    Cashier: “Yeah, that happens sometimes. Don’t worry, it’ll take.”

    (She tries it again. And again. And again.)

    Me: “You know, maybe just in case it helps, try pressing clear?”

    (She does. The error message goes away. The item rings up just fine.)

    Cashier: “Huh. He’s pretty bright, for a gentleman.”

    Wife: *under her breath* “Yeah, he’s been reading for years now…”

    Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

    , | KS, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Overtime, School

    (I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

    Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

    Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

    Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

    Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

    (I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

    Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

    Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

    Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

    Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

    (We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

    Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

    Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

    (I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

    (The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

    Death Defying Colors

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

    (Two women approach my till.)

    Woman: “Do you have books on dying and grieving?”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Right this way.”

    (I take her and her friend to our psychology section where at the top there are books on death and dying. The women look at each other awkwardly.)

    Woman: “Umm… we said dyeing and weaving.”

    (I promptly took them to our crafts section, apologizing the whole way!)


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