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    Engineered A Solution

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers

    (We have a worker who is constantly causing an issue wherever he works: making idiotic demands, threatening to take the company to court, going to HR over matters that were clearly stated in his contract, generally being poison that people were afraid to speak to him. He gets passed around each of the departments as he made working with him very difficult, but never crossing the line to getting fired.)

    Me: “Look, [Worker], it’s simple. Just because you helped out an engineer a few times doesn’t mean that you can expect to be paid the same.”

    Worker: “I looked up the rates online. They make [a value at least twice the reality]. Why shouldn’t I get the same?”

    Me: “Because you’re not an engineer! You only helped!”

    Worker: “I demand three weeks pay, at engineer rate.”

    Me: “No. We all have to help out time to time; it’s stated in your contract.”

    Worker: “If i don’t get it, I quit, then.”

    HR: *quickly* “Okay, then, I’m sorry to hear that. I will raise the paperwork and put you on garden leave before the end of the week.”

    Worker: “What?”

    HR: “You said you quit. That’s what I heard. Did you hear that, [My Name]?”

    Me: “Well, yes, I–”

    Worker: “No, no, I have to put it in writing.”

    HR: *calmly* “No, you don’t. Not in this country. Your resignation is accepted. Now, if you don’t mind, I do have another meeting to get to that it I’m already late for,. You can make another appointment if you need to later in the week.”

    (Dumbfounded, the worker walked out and we never saw him again.)

    Keep Holding Meetings


    Yourworkplace-22255

    The Great Gummi Massacre

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    Me: “Looks like another movie let out. Want me to go in and clean it?”

    Manager: “Dunno. There weren’t a lot of customers in there.”

    Me: “Yeah, but sometimes just a handful of people will leave a big mess.”

    Manager: “True. Go in there and check, and if there is a mess, go and clean it.”

    (I go in and come back out about a minute later.)

    Manager: “How was it?”

    Me: *as I grab a broom and dustpan* “Gummi bears… lying here and there and everywhere…”

    A Look That Could Shatter Glass

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees

    (I’m ordering a burger combo. The restaurant currently has a promotion for free coke glasses with each combo running, but I’m not interested in the glasses.)

    Cashier: “And here are your glasses.”

    Me: “No, thanks, I don’t want them.”

    Cashier: “All right.” *starts putting the glasses back*

    Lady Behind Me In Line: “Can I have them instead?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    Cashier: *takes the glasses back before I can take them* “No, you can’t have them. They’re for the combo only. I need to put those into the computer.”

    Me: “…All right, give me the glasses, then.”

    Cashier: “No.”

    Random Person In The Next Line: “Here you go!” *hands his combo glasses to the lady behind me*

    (The cashier looked furious.)

    Needs A Moral Screening

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Health & Body

    (I have started seeing a gynecologist in order to be prescribed birth control. I still see him annually for renewals and pap smears. My gynecologist is male, which I wouldn’t mind otherwise, but he is very old, old-timey and set in his ways.)

    Gynecologist: “Sex is between a man and a woman, a penis and a vagina. No mouths, no fingers, none of that!”

    (This was on my first visit, after telling him that at the time I had been having frequent UTI’s. I was in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship at the time.)


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