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    Your Fate Is Sealed

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I work at a store that sells electronics, so whenever we process a return we must check the product and its contents to ensure nothing’s been stolen. Usually we have a technology associate do this, but usually there is some leeway depending on the product. I am manning the cash. It should be noted that it is the back-to-school season and so our lines are very long.)

    Customer: “I was wondering if I could return this laptop?”

    Me: “Sure thing, let me just get someone to okay the product.”

    (I page for a technology associate, all of whom are with customers.)

    Me: “Sorry, it’ll be just a few minutes.”

    (After waiting a few minutes, I repeat the page.)

    Customer: “It’s unopened.”

    (I check the product and notice that it is, in fact, sealed. Given that the tech associates are known to take their time and my line is getting longer and longer, I decide to process the return anyways, knowing that nothing could have been stolen. In the middle of processing the return, however, a tech associate finally shows up.)

    Coworker: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m processing the return for this laptop.”

    Coworker: “But you have to get it checked.”

    Me: “I already checked it; it’s sealed.”

    Coworker: “But you have to get a tech associate to check it.”

    Me: “But it’s sealed.”

    Coworker: “But a tech associate has to check it.”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (Looks at the item and sees that it’s sealed.)

    Coworker: “Go ahead. Make sure to check with an associate next time.”

    (The best part? He then came back fifteen minutes later to criticise me for about ten minutes because, despite my long line and the fact that the item was clearly unopened, I hadn’t called over a tech associate.)

    Carelessly Direct

    | VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly

    Me: “Hello?”

    Voice: “This is [Name] from [Survey Company].”

    Me: “Why would I possibly care?”

    Voice: “Thank you, goodbye.”

    Me: “Good answer.”

    Can’t Break Bread With This Coworker

    | Singapore | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I have a colleague [Colleague #1] who is very greedy and does not respect boundaries. He often takes other colleagues’ food from the office fridge even though it has been clearly labelled with their name. This happens during an in-house conference where I overhear a conversation between him and another colleague. Colleague #2 has prepared a sandwich for her breakfast but left it on the chair in her purse right at the top with the purse open while she went to use the ladies’. She comes back to find him eating her sandwich.)

    Colleague #2: “[Colleague #1]! Why are you eating my breakfast?”

    Colleague #1: “Was it your breakfast? I thought [Company] catered breakfast for everyone.”

    Colleague #2: “Do you see anyone else eating?”

    Colleague #1: “…No?”

    Colleague #2: “Do you see any food service laid out?”

    Colleague #1: “…No.”

    Colleague #2: “And my breakfast was on my chair! In my bag! You took it out of my bag! You can’t say you don’t know that someone is occupying this seat! ”

    Colleague #1: “But there was nobody there!”

    (Colleague #1 also never apologised, never offered to replace the sandwich or make any compensation, and even criticised the sandwich for being “not very good.”)

    A Repeated Mis-Steak

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (Every year my two best friends and their boyfriends come to stay with me and my boyfriend for a week or so. We’re all guys, and at the time this happens we are all in our late 20s. My boyfriend is a self-described foodie, and he wants to try out a new restaurant he’s heard of. We don’t make a reservation as it is in the middle of the week and during the early afternoon. The restaurant is nearly empty. My boyfriend, I, and one other of us order the lamb.)

    Waiter: *returning a few minutes after taking the orders* “I’m sorry, but we only have two portions of the lamb left. Would any of you order something different?”

    Boyfriend: “I will. Can I see the menu again?”

    (The waiter rolls his eyes, walks away, gets a menu, and returns. My boyfriend looks it over.)

    Boyfriend: “I’ll have the steak, medium rare.”

    Waiter: “With [Side #1] or [Side #2]?”

    Boyfriend: “[Side #1].”

    (The waiter storms off. We talk and enjoy the wine we’ve ordered. About ten minutes later the food arrives – except for my boyfriend’s.)

    Boyfriend: “Ummm. Where’s my steak?”

    Waiter: “It’ll still be a few minutes because it wasn’t ordered with everything else.”

    (The waiter returns to the kitchen, and we all just shrug. My boyfriend tells us to eat so it doesn’t get cold. Another five minutes pass before the waiter returns with my boyfriend’s meal.)

    Boyfriend: *sees that the steak came with [Side #2] not [Side #1] and when he cuts into the steak sees that it’s well done; he waves the waiter back* “Um. This isn’t what I ordered. The steak is well done, and I asked for [Side #1].”

    Waiter: “We’re out of [Side #1], and you ordered it well done.”

    Boyfriend: “No. I ordered it medium rare. Could I get this remade, please?”

    (The waiter takes the plate, and storms off. Eventually he returns with a new steak. The steak is beyond rare, looking like they just seared it and stuck it on the plate. My boyfriend waves the waiter back.)

    Boyfriend: “This still isn’t what I ordered. This time it’s barely cooked! And it isn’t even on a fresh plate. Could I have it remade again, medium rare, and on a fresh plate?”

    (The waiter storms off again.)

    Friend #1: “Third time’s the charm?”

    (By now, most of us are nearly finished our meals. The waiter returns a minute later.)

    Waiter: “We don’t have any more steak. Would you like something else?”

    Boyfriend #1: *to the waiter* “It’s the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, and you don’t have any more steak or lamb?”

    Waiter: “It’s been a busy week.”

    Me: *under my breath* “I doubt that.”

    Boyfriend: “Fine. I’ll just have a [very simple salad].”

    (We all look at each other as the waiter leaves.)

    Me: “Odds on that they won’t have lettuce?”

    Boyfriend #1: “It’s like Star Trek: Generations: ‘Everything’ll arrive on Tuesday!’.”

    (The waiter eventually returns with the [very simple salad], very overdressed and not at all appealing. He also brings the bill.)

    Boyfriend #2: “We didn’t ask for the bill yet.”

    Waiter: “You’ve all eaten now.”

    Boyfriend: *after waiter walks away* “That’s fine. We’ll just pay and leave.”

    (I take a look over the bill and laugh.)

    Boyfriend: “What?”

    Me: “There are three lamb on this bill, and two steaks with two side dishes. He never removed any of the dishes we didn’t eat. He just kept adding them on.”

    Boyfriend: “Seriously?”

    Me: “Seriously.”

    (I wave over the waiter again and ask for a new bill with the items removed. He doesn’t say anything but takes the bill and returns a minute later. I look it over. The lamb is removed, but one steak is still on.)

    Me: “It’s still wrong.”

    Boyfriend: *takes the bill from me and waves the waiter over* “Okay, now, look. I didn’t eat the steak, so it shouldn’t be on the bill.”

    Waiter: “You cut into it.”

    Boyfriend: “I cut into both, and you took one off. Take the other off.”

    (The waiter walks off again, and returned with a third bill. This time it is right, but he’s added a 15% gratuity that wasn’t there on the previous bills. By now Friend #1 has had enough. He waves the waiter over.)

    Friend #1: “Okay. This is ridiculous. Three times you had to return to our table to tell us that you’re out of food. There’s barely anyone else in this restaurant. It’s the middle of the week. You’ve given us attitude this whole time, and given us the bill wrong 4 times. Now you’ve even added a gratuity to the bill. We won’t pay it like this. We want the gratuity removed, because you’re d*** not going to get 15% from us. And, you’re going to pull off at least one of the bottles of wine because that’s what a good restaurant would do. Right?”

    (The waiter glared at Friend #1, but took the bill and walked away. We all got out our cash as we waited for the bill to come back. It did, and when we checked it, the gratuity had been removed but the wine was still there. We decided to just let it go. We paid the bill exactly, and left. We picked up a burger for my boyfriend who was still hungry, since he’d not really had anything to eat. About two months later my boyfriend and I were in the area where the restaurant was, and we saw that it had been replaced by a bookstore. We still go to the bookstore, and their customer service is certainly miles ahead of that restaurant.)

    Verbal Butterfingers

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink

    (I work at a movie theater. It’s a lot of late nights, so sometimes I am pretty tired at work.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Guest: “Er, yeah, I would like a medium [soda].”

    Me: *out of habit* “Would you like to add butter?”

    Guest: “YEAH!”

    Me: “Wait. No, I cannot offer butter in your drink. I am really tired, sorry. I can put butter in a small cup, if you like.”

    Guest: “I thought it was weird, but I remembered that trend with butter in coffee so I thought this was something new and cool. But no butter, thanks.”

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