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    Something Called Service

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    Just Realised How That Sounded

    | WI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Technology

    (I was mute for three years due to functional dysphonia. Because most of my employment history was as an agent in various call centers, it was tough finding a job during that time. Fortunately, I was able to land a job as a QA specialist at a call center which required only listening and typing, not talking. At one point the building maintenance guys are doing something to the wiring in our building, and the phone at my desk, which shouldn’t have even been connected, starts ringing.)

    Me: *instant-messaging a manager* “My phone rang!”

    Manager: “It can’t ring. Yours isn’t even connected.”

    Me: “But it’s ringing!”

    Manager: “So answer it.”

    Me: “How?”

    Manager: “What do you mean ‘how’? Just pick up the phone and t— Never mind.”

    Doing A Bad Job (Description)

    | Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (My husband applies for a job and makes it to the final two candidates, to be told the other applicant got the job but that it was a difficult decision, with a ‘cigarette paper’ between the two. Encouraged, he applies for a different job with the same company a few months later.)

    Husband: *to Receptionist* “I’m here for my interview with [Interviewer].”

    Receptionist: “I’ll let her know you’re here.”

    (Several minutes later, well past the interview start time, the interviewer arrives.)

    Interviewer: “I’m sorry Mr. [Husband] you’ve wasted your time applying. We told you last time you were unsuccessful.”

    Husband: “That was for a different job. This job is—”

    Interviewer: “It’s the same job. It’s just a different title.”

    Husband: “I beg to differ. Here is the job description. It’s completely different to the job I applied for a few months ago and it has a different title. I’ve just driven for 45 minutes and you’re not ready for the interview which was scheduled by your HR department?”

    Interviewer: “It’s the same job. You really should confirm details like this before you set out for an interview.”

    Husband: “So, if your HR department advertises a different job with a different title and job description, I should assume it’s the one you said I NEARLY GOT several months ago and not apply? After my last interview, which was with you, yourself, you said you were happy to consider me for any other suitable positions.”

    Interviewer: “Um. I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time.”

    Husband: “I’m sorry, you’ve wasted my time, inviting me for an interview for a job which was advertised by your HR department but which apparently doesn’t exist!”

    If Only They Could Hear Themselves

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am 23 years old and due to some complications when I was younger have hearing loss in my left ear. I do have a hearing aid but it occasionally cuts out if a noise is something that will harm my ear. My hearing aid is a BTE (Behind The Ear) model and i have my hair cut in a fashion to cover it. I have come to the liquor store to buy some drinks to mix for a party I am having. I approach with a cart that has various types of alcohol (about 20 bottles total). The cashier is an older woman who looks down at the cart then up and me and huffs.)

    Cashier: *as I reach into the cart to grab the first few bottles to place on the counter* “I hope you have your ID, otherwise you are going to have to put all those back.”

    Me: *I grab my ID and hand it to her* “Sorry, I should have got that out first.”

    (I go back to grab the bottles. Note my ID is still the ‘underage vertical’ so bars can tell the difference quicker. But it is still valid for five more years.)

    Cashier: *barely looking at the ID* “Sorry hun, looks like you are going to have to put it all back. Your ID says you are underage.”

    Me: “Umm… If you look at my birthday you will see I am 23.”

    Cashier: *she looks closer at my ID* “Still, your ID is invalid. You needed to get a new one after turning 21.”

    Me: “It’s still valid until 2019. I do not need to renew it until then.” *I continue to unload my cart*

    Cashier: “Fine, then.” *she starts to ring me up then says* “If you can pay for all this crap.”

    Me: “I am sorry, did you say something?” *the beeping of the register caused my hearing aid to cut out*

    Cashier: “Do you have enough money to pay for this? I don’t want to bag everything just to have to put it all back.”

    Me: “Yes, I have enough; I have been saving up for it.”

    Cashier: *continues to ring me up* “You shouldn’t be drinking this much alcohol, you know. It makes people stupid.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Cashier: “Alcohol makes people do stupid things.”

    (I ignore her comments for the remainder of her ringing me up, and am not focused when she mentions the total.)

    Me: “I am sorry could you repeat the total, please?”

    Cashier: “I thought you said you had enough money.” *she says with a sly grin*

    Me: “I do. I just didn’t hear you.”

    Cashier: “Kids these days don’t listen to a thing people say. I said your total is [total].”

    Me: *I open my wallet* “You said the total was [total]?”

    Cashier: “Yes, gawd, are you deaf?”

    Me: “Half actually.”

    Cashier: *looking at me quizzically* “What did you say?”

    Me: *flipping my hair behind my hearing aid, then grabbing the amount in cash out of my wallet* “I said that I am half deaf. You should be nicer to customers, and never assume anything based on age or appearance.”

    Cashier: *deer in headlights look* “Here is your receipt…”

    Telemarketers Versus Religion

    | NC, USA | Religion, Technology

    (I stay at a rental beach house with my boyfriend and his family, as well as a friend of his younger sister’s. My boyfriend, his two siblings, his sister’s friend, and I are all in the living room when the phone rings. We all just kind of look at each other, and assuming it’s a telemarketer, I eagerly get up to answer.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    (The telemarketer goes into his speech about long-distance service, not even asking if I’m the head of house or old enough to make that kind of decision.)

    Me: “This is a beach house.”

    Telemarketer: “Are you happy with your current long-distance service?”

    Me: “We don’t have a phone.”

    Telemarketer: “Uh… excuse me?”

    Me: “We don’t have a phone. We don’t believe in phones. You see, we’re Mormon.”

    Telemarketer: “What?”

    Me: *click*

    (Everyone had contained their laughter until I hung up. For the rest of the week, we made excuses about not doing things ‘because I’m Mormon.’)


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