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    Your Concerns Are Just A Drop In The Ocean

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

    (Employees of this particular chain are upset about certain management decisions and are holding a job action. Shelves are not being restocked, and action at the distribution centers has halted the delivery of fresh produce, meats, and seafood.)

    Customer: *seeing the empty seafood display* “Where is all the seafood?”

    Worker: “In the ocean!”

    Getting Over Your Rules Is Overruled

    | Robinson, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Family & Kids, Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My grandmother has just passed away. She lived in Georgia, so I can’t afford to travel for the funeral, and neither can some of my other family members that live near me. This happens when I call in to request bereavement time.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling to say I’m not going to be coming in to work for a few days. I just found out that my grandmother passed away.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where’s the funeral going to be?”

    Me: “It’s in Georgia.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, really? And you’re going to be travelling that far?”

    Me: “Well, actually, I’m not going to be able to make it to the funeral, but I was hoping to spend some time with some of my other family members that also can’t go.”

    Personnel Manager: *condescendingly* “Sweetie, I can’t approve this. Bereavement time is only for people who have to travel for the funeral.”

    Me: *shocked* “What!? But [Coworker]‘s grandfather died a few months ago and he lived in [next town over] his whole life, and he got bereavement time.”

    Personnel Manager: “Sorry, but I don’t make the rules.”

    (Apparently she did make them up as she wanted to, because when I called the corporate office, they were just as stunned as I was. I ended up getting the full bereavement time, but was so stressed out over the whole ordeal, I barely even left my house.)

    Either That Or ‘Rabbit’

    | Rittman, OH, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    Telemarketer: “What’s your name?”

    Me: “Jessica.”

    Telemarketer: “Oh, then you are Jessica Alba?”

    Me: “No…”

    Telemarketer: “So, what’s your last name?”

    Me: “I don’t give that out.”

    Telemarketer: “Okay, well, I need a last name for our records.”

    Me: “Fine. Just put down ‘Alba.’”

    Telemarketer: “Okay, then. So you are Jessica Alba?”

    Me: “Sure, why not?”

    Tell Them ‘NO’

    | NC, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, New Hires

    (As the assistant manager of a game store, I joke that we need to make sure our employees know their alphabet, as we could never find what we were looking for (usually misplaced on the shelves). One holiday season, I am helping a seasonal employee, who incidentally is a high school senior, work the shelves:)

    Seasonal Employee: “Hey, [My Name], does ‘R’ come before or after ‘V?’”

    Me: “Uh… before. You know, there’s even a song about it.”

    Seasonal Employee: “Yeah, but after I reach ‘M’ I just fake it.”

    Me: “…?”

    You Have Failed For The Last Time

    | Italy | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (We are a team of about 40 people. We have four supervisors, one of which is very nasty to us and the occasional customer who asks for escalation to managers. I have music on in my unit room. The playlist moves to the Star Wars Imperial march.)

    Coworker #1: “You’re so tempting fate.”

    (As if on cue, the nasty supervisor enters the room.)

    Supervisor: “[Coworker #2], next time you escalate such a dumb b**** to me, I’m going to strangle you!”

    (The supervisor made a pretend strangle motion and exited, oblivious to the background music. We all cracked up, and nicknamed her Darth henceforth.)


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