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  • September's Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    The Security Died

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My cousins and I are at my grandparents’ house, following my Grandad’s funeral. We set the alarm off, and are unable to put the code in quickly enough, so the alarm company calls.)

    Cousin: “Hello?”

    Alarm Company: “Hello, we’ve been notified that there’s an alarm going off at [Address], and were calling to speak to [Grandfather].”

    Cousin: “Oh. Well… he’s dead, actually.”

    Alarm Company: “Oh. So who am I speaking with?”

    Cousin: “One of his grandchildren.”

    Alarm Company: “And everything is okay there?”

    Cousin: “Oh, yes. We just set the alarm off accidentally, but we’re fine.

    Alarm Company: “Okay, great! Thanks!”

    (The alarm company hung up without asking for any kind of identification. Thank goodness it really was just us in the house and not a burglar, because they didn’t ask for any identifying information at all!)

    Won’t Be Kidding Again

    | Raleigh/Durham, NC, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Transportation

    (My daughter and I are visiting my parents in NC when she falls seriously ill and must be hospitalized. I’m forced to return home for work reasons while she’s still in the hospital and I’m upset about leaving her. I’m in the very crowded security line at the airport, looking somber, when a TSA agent leans in.)

    TSA Agent: “Smile! At least you don’t have kids with you.”

    (At this point, I lose my composure and burst into tears.)

    Me: “My daughter’s in the hospital!”

    TSA Agent: “…”

    (I hope in the future he thinks twice before making insensitive comments to people he doesn’t know.)

    Should Have Driven Home The Point More

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (I’d worked for this particular pizza chain for many years before finally getting my own store. My first month there I realize I need to hire more staff and start taking applications right away. One of my very first interviews is for a delivery driver position and it is going well. We go over in detail what his job duties would be and he seems really excited about the job.)

    Me: “Well, everything looks great, I really like your enthusiasm, and I think you’ll be a great fit for this job. Now all I need to do is run an MVR (Motor Vehicle Report) on you and make sure you’re eligible to drive. It should only take a few days and I’ll let you know. I just need to see your license.”

    Interviewee: “What license?”

    Me: “Your driver’s license…”

    Interviewee: “Oh, I don’t have one of those.”

    Me: “You don’t have a driver’s license? You do realize this position is for a delivery driver, right?”

    Interviewee: “Yeah, but I didn’t think I needed to have a license to do that.”

    Me: “You didn’t think you needed a driver’s license to drive?”

    (After this I started asking every potential applicant BEFORE bringing them in for an interview. In the two years since this happened I’ve had this exact same conversation with more than a dozen people.)

    Let Him Get His Bearings

    | Saint Louis, MO, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Transportation

    (A wheel bearing goes out on my truck, so I borrow the shop truck to get the parts I need.)

    Employee: “How can I help you today?”

    Me: “I’m looking for wheel bearings for a 2003 Ranger.”

    (I give him all the info on my truck and after a few minutes of staring at the computer he looks up at me.)

    Employee: “What do mean by ‘wheel bearing?'”

    (I give him a look of disbelief and proceed to explain it to him as simply as possible.)

    Employee: “Oh… that’s what you mean.”

    (I bought both even though I only needed the one, just in case. Turned out the one I didn’t need wasn’t even right. Out of fear of having to explain it all again I just let it slide.)

    Don’t Play With Fire

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Employees

    (I have been working for about two years and I manage not to take sick days in this period. Sadly, as I wake up this morning it seems that something I ate STRONGLY disagrees with me, to the point that my wife has to bring me the phone to the bathroom so I can call in sick. I call my boss and his obnoxious secretary answers.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] speaking. I wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming in today due to health issues.”

    Secretary: “No.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Secretary: “No, you’re either coming to work or getting fired. This is getting out of hand.”

    Me: “Miss, something is certainly getting out of hand here; I CAN’T come in to work. I’m really feeling sick and can’t leave my house.”

    Secretary: “Then consider yourself fired. Come to get your documentation—” *sarcastically* “—when you’re feeling better.”

    Me: “Wait a minute. You don’t have the authority to fire me. [Boss]—”

    Secretary: *click*

    (I decide to call my boss on his cellphone, to bypass his secretary.)

    Boss: “Yo, you’re late today!”

    Me: “Late? I was told I’m fired.”

    Boss: “Fired!? Who told you that?”

    Me: “Your secretary did when I tried calling in sick. It seems I ate something and I’m not in position to leave my house.”

    Boss: “Wait, what? Why did she… Oh s***! Did you tell her your name when you called?”

    Me: “Of course I did. It was the first thing I told.”

    Boss: “Idiot. I told her that I’ll fire [Other Coworker notorious for calling in sick] if he ever pulls that again…”

    Me: “So, she decided to fire ‘him’ right away, when ‘he’ called?”

    Boss: “I guess that’s right. But [Coworker] is in today, so she assumed it was you when you called. I’m going to explain to her that being my secretary doesn’t allow her to fire people. As for you, take today and two more days off, to bounce back, okay?”

    (Long story short, Secretary didn’t quite get why she can’t fire people on her own behalf – even if my boss did mention thinking about firing them before. So my boss explained it to her by showing her the door.)


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