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    A Rude Awakening

    | USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have this incompetent coworker who always comes in late, leaves when she wants to, and does Facebook and chats on the phone all the time instead of working. She’s friends with the boss, so complaining is futile.)

    Me: *checking watch* “Look, she’s late as usual by an hour. What bad work habits.”

    Coworker: “That means we’ll have to pick up her slack.” *heavily sighs*

    (Suddenly, the incompetent coworker flies out from the back at me, with her coat on half way, clearly just arriving.)

    Incompetent Coworker: “Excuse me, [My Name]. I would appreciate you not talking about me behind my back!”

    Me: “Why don’t you shape up then?”

    Incompetent Coworker: “Excuse me! This is not about my work habits, it’s about you talking behind my back!” *cracks knuckles threateningly* “So stop!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You’re more worried about people talking about you than your bad work habits?”

    Incompetent Coworker: “It’s rude!”

    Me: “You seriously can’t expect us to be happy about picking your slack up all the time!”

    Incompetent Coworker: “How rude!”

    (She started actually coming in on time after that, but quickly went back to her old ways after a while, shooting me dirty looks whenever she passed.)

    Vegetarians Often Go Without

    , | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am a vegetarian, and often order my meals without meat. I go through a popular fast food drive through to order one of their popular breakfast sandwiches and specify what needs altered.)

    Me: “Hey there! I’d like a [popular breakfast sandwich] without meat, and a large orange juice, please.”

    Worker: “A [popular breakfast sandwich]?”

    Me: “Yep! Without meat.”

    Worker: “Do you want it without Canadian bacon or without sausage?”

    Me: “… Whatever’s cheaper?”

    Denial Is Demanding

    | NSW, Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (We’re on holiday. I walk into the only shop open within walking distance, opposite where we’re staying, to buy a lighter.)

    Employee: “No, we don’t have any. Ugh, people keep coming in all day asking for them and I keep having to explain we don’t have any demand for them!”

    Another Way They Make You Cry

    | London, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I am extremely allergic to onions, and, since it is such an unusual allergy, I tend to have problems when I eat out. When ordering takeaways online, in addition to leaving several notes, I always call the restaurant because otherwise there’ll be some type of onion in my meal, and when I complain they’ll sound all confused and say ‘Wait, you meant that type of onion?’ There is only one restaurant that has been so good about it that I’ve stopped calling to double-check, but when I get my order one day I notice that it had green onions throughout.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m the girl who just ordered online, with the onion allergy?”

    Hostess: “Yes, I took your order back to the kitchen personally and made sure they knew about the allergy.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but there are green onions in my food.”

    Hostess: “Could you hold for one moment?”

    (She sets the phone down, but doesn’t mute it. A minute later I hear her explode.)

    Hostess: “Of course it counts! It has the word ONION in it!”

    (That moment was a vindication of everything I’ve been saying my whole life.)

    Not Well Versed In Pillow Talk

    | Sudbury, ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I’m looking at pillows when I notice that one of the display units don’t match any of the others.)

    Me: “Excuse me. I’m looking for this pillow, but none of these pillows seem to match. Am I missing it, or is it sold out?”

    Employee: “Let me see… Ah, it’s probably this one!”

    (I can see from the box that it’s not.)

    Me: “Actually, that doesn’t look right. I’m looking for the one with this bubble wrap gel. That one is more of a foam sheet.”

    Employee: “Hmm. Only way to tell for sure is to take it out of the box!”

    (Despite the picture on the side clearly showing the layers of the pillow, the employee begins to open the box and unzip the pillow case. The inside pillow is still cased inside a thin white fabric. )

    Employee: “See!”

    Me: “I don’t think so. The layer is blue, but it’s a different material than this bubbly one.”

    Employee: “Nah. Its just looks that way. Here I’ll take it out of the case… Should just zip open… No zip, huh… Okay, then.”

    (The employee then begins to tear the fabric open and claw at the foam.)

    Employee: “Huh. Guess you’re right. Ask up front if they know.”

    (The employee then threw the opened box, pillow case, and ripped pillow on top of the boxes and walked away.)

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