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    The Naughty Gift List

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Employees, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A security guard comes up to me on the train. I’m wearing my Santa hat.)

    Guard: “Are you one of Santa’s helpers?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

    Guard: “Can you tell him to get me a Ferrari for Christmas?”

    Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

    Other Passenger: “Can you get me a dirty blonde?”

    Me: “Hey, I wanted one of those!”

    We Wish You A Merry Saturnalia, Part 2

    | NH, USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I have only recently started working at this store while I am on winter break from college. I am on register. To keep things as secular as possible, I don’t tell anyone ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘happy holidays’ unless they say it first. Additionally, I am pagan and celebrate midwinter, or the winter solstice. As I live in an extremely conservative state, I’ve found that it’s best that I don’t mention that. I am chatting with one of my coworkers during a lull.)

    Coworker: “So what are you doing for Christmas? Going to any special services?”

    Me: “I actually don’t celebrate Christmas.”

    Coworker: “What? You’re an atheist?”

    Me: “Actually, I practice Dianic Wicca. I celebrate the winter solstice.”

    (Immediately, my coworker seems to get angry, and I feel uncomfortable.)

    Coworker: “So what do you do? Cast magic spells and dance around reciting chants?”

    Me: “Actually, paganism precedes Christianity by several centuries and a lot of Christmas traditions are derived from Yule celebrations. For example, we often have an evergreen tree, which we decorate—”

    Coworker: “So basically, you celebrate Christmas, but you’re just trying to sound edgy.”

    Me: “Well, no. There’s a lot of history and symbolism behind—”

    (I cut myself off as a customer has approached the cash register. Though I feel shaky, I try to put on a smile and give her the best service I can. At the end, the customer wishes me a Merry Christmas, and I say the same to her.)

    Coworker: “Oh, don’t bother. She doesn’t celebrate Christmas. She’s a witch.”

    Me: “Well, it’s a bit more complex than that.”

    Coworker: *sneering* “You’re probably a lesbian too. Right?”

    Me: “My sexuality really isn’t your business.”

    Coworker: *under his breath* “D***.”

    (At this point, the pleasant customer feels the need to interject.)

    Customer: “Now hold on just a minute, young man. This young lady has been nothing but kind and friendly to me. She returned my holiday wishes even though it’s not a holiday she celebrates. All you’ve done is stand to the side and make fun of her religion and sexual orientation. I’d like to speak to your manager, please.”

    (My coworker, stunned, goes to get the manager, who apologizes for the coworker’s behavior and gives the customer an extra coupon for her next visit. She dismisses my coworker to the back room. I do my best to thank the customer even though I am close to tears. It’s so wonderful to know that even in a conservative state like mine, there are still kind, accepting people. Happy holidays!)

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRight
    We Wish You A Merry Saturnalia

    Someone Needs A Happy Posting

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is close to Christmas and the post office is quite busy; With many people waiting, they have a ‘take a number’ system. I have been waiting close to 20 minutes. The post office worker calls my number and I approach the counter.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Worker: “Do you have to ask me that? It is obviously an awful time of year and I have obviously had a really bad day!”

    Me: “So sorry to hear that; it is almost Christmas so it should be over soon! I’d like to mail this package, please.”

    Worker:“Do you have to smile at me? I said I was having a bad day. You should just be quiet.”

    Me: “Okay… Just the package, then.”

    Worker: *provides cost to mail package*

    Me: *hands over cash and turns to leave* “Happy Holidays!”

    Worker: “I said NOT to talk to me.” *murmurs under breath* “Some people are so rude!”

    A White Walker Christmas

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s early fall, and I’m teaching an employee who wasn’t with us through the Christmas season last year about how the job changes at that time of year. The customers are different, we go through so much more product, etc. I can tell she’s a bit nervous about the inevitable chaos.)

    Coworker: “I’ve never worked retail during Christmas before.”

    Me: “Yeah, well, brace yourself.”

    Coworker: “Winter is coming.”

    Me: “…that is the most apt usage of that expression that I have ever heard.”

    Someone Needs A Sabbathical

    | Shorewood, WI, USA | Employees, Holidays, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is just before Hanukkah and my father goes into the neighborhood grocery store for candles. He finds the “Jewish Items” aisle but there are no candles, so he goes to the service desk.)

    Father: “Excuse me, do you have Hanukkah candles?”

    Employee: “Sure we do!”

    Father: “Can you show me where?”

    Employee: “Sure.” *leads him back to the aisle he’d been in*

    Father: “I’m sorry, I don’t see them.”

    Employee: “Right here! See, it says ‘shabbat’ right on the box!”

    Father: “That’s, uh, not going to help.”

    Employee: “You mean they’re not the same thing?”

    Father: “This city’s what, forty percent Jewish?”


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