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  • July's Theme Of The Month: Thrown Under The Bus!

    Telemarketers: The Fear Is Real

    | USA | Employees, Technology

    (One day at work, I get a call from a number I don’t recognize. Here is the following conversation.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello! My name… is Megan. Are… you… aware that… many people ha…ve been falsely charged… for operations? If yo…ou are between… the… ages of twenty… five and sevent…y, you could… be eligible… for a payback. Are you… between the ages of… twenty-five… and seventy?”

    Me: “Sorry, Megan, not only have I never had an operation, but I don’t talk with robot callers.”

    Caller: *actually managing to sound indignant* “I… can a…ssure you… I am a real…”

    (The call suddenly cut off. Either that was the key to end the call or the scammer got scared.)

    Don’t Commit The Crime If You Can’t Do The Overtime

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Overtime

    (We’re in training at a call center for a large, national corporation, working directly for the company rather than through an outsourcer. Of 18 people in the training class, 7 of us came from another local call center, this one run by an outsourcer known for their less than quite legal practices, but being in a ‘Right to Work’ state, the employees don’t speak up about it out of fear of losing our jobs.)

    Supervisor: *addressing the class to go over some information on our new schedules once we get out of the training class* “So, any questions?”

    Coworker #1: “Will we be able to get all of our hours every week here?”

    Supervisor: *clearly confused* “Well, we hope that you’ll come in and stay for your regular shifts. If not, then we’re going to have a problem.”

    Coworker #2: “No, what he means is, at the place we worked before, they had this thing called voluntary time off, but it wasn’t voluntary.”

    Me: *seeing that the supervisor still seems confused* “What they would do if it was slow, they’d log us out and not let us back in. They called it VTO but—”

    Trainer: *misunderstanding* “Oh, no, if you accidentally log out during your shift here, they’ll come find you and—”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, no, we didn’t log out accidentally; they’d log us out and send us home because they didn’t want to pay us.”

    Supervisor: *now looking a bit shocked* “No, we won’t send you home early unless you volunteer.”

    Coworker #1: “Do you guys cut our lunches when it gets busy? Or move our shifts around all day?”

    Supervisor: “No, your lunches don’t get cut back. If you’re scheduled for a 45 minute lunch, you get the whole 45 minutes. That’s the law. We have to do that.”

    Coworker #3: “What about overtime? How much can we work in a week?”

    Supervisor: “Oh, you can work up to four hours a day, but your stats have to be up to par. It’s a privilege, not a right.”

    (I can see him cringe, as hands go up from the group of us from the other call center.)

    Coworker #4: “Only four hours a day? What if we’re used to working more?”

    (At this point, all of us are staring at Coworker #5, who was known for working open to close seven days a week at our previous call center.)

    Supervisor: *leaning towards our particular group, and emphasizing* “You can’t work more than four hours of overtime in a day. Only 12 hours in a shift, because THAT’S THE LAW. And you get three breaks on a ten hour shift, because THAT’S THE LAW, TOO. I don’t know what kind of sweat shop you people came from, but we like to do things right around here.”

    (At this point the group of us from the other call center are staring at each other in shock.)

    Coworker #1: *in amazement* “You mean… [National Company] actually takes care of their people?”

    We Have A Sale Of Excess Gas

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am visiting my sister at her department store. Like many other big department stores they do the occasional sale announcements to encourage people to buy up their excess inventory. Today my sister is doing it along with one of the other managers.)

    Sister: *over the intercom* “Attention shoppers, we have a new sale—” *only instead of the word ‘sale’ a large belch comes out*

    (There is a pause while she looks like a deer caught in the headlights and slowly puts the phone back down.)

    Other Manager: “Could I get a recording of that? I kinda want that as my ring tone.”

    Engaging In A Distraction

    , | Terre Haute, IN, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Love/Romance

    (My fiancé and I are doing some shopping for our upcoming wedding. We’re a gay couple. With us are two of our friends; one is acting as our wedding planner, he’s gay as well, and the other is the Maid of Honor. The following happens as we’re buying the fabric for the ‘groom’s maid’ dresses.)

    Employee: “So what’s the occasion?”

    Fiancé: “A wedding.”

    Employee: *visibly excited, looking to the Maid of Honor* “Congratulations! When’s the date?”

    Fiancé: “August.”

    (The wedding planner gets distracted by something in the distance and wanders off. A moment later:)

    Wedding Planner: “Ooh! [Maid of Honor], come look at this!”

    (She goes off to see what he found.)

    Employee: *to my fiancé and me* “That must be why they brought the two of you along for their wedding shopping, since they’re so easily distracted.”

    (We didn’t bother correcting her. Our friends were excited to hear the news about their engagement.)

    That Taught Him A Lesson

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I look really young, around 16 or 18, but I’m actually 25. I just finished my schooling and have gotten my license to become a high school teacher. One of the perks is 15% off at the restaurant my fiancé and I are eating at.)

    Me: “Can we have the bill please? Oh, and I have a 15% off teacher discount.” *shows coupon code on phone*

    Waiter: “Oh, yes, one moment. I just need to clear it with my manager.”

    (The waiter leaves and after about five minutes comes back with the manager.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, Miss, but this discount is for teachers.”

    Me: “I know. That’s why I’m using it.”

    Manager: “No, sweetie, it’s for the TEACHERS, not their friends and family. I’m sure you or your mom didn’t know.”

    Me: “Yeah, I know. I’m a high school teacher.”

    Manager: “Haha, good one. I’ve had a lot of kids try to get discounts over the years, but that one takes the cake!”

    Me: *pulls teaching license and photo ID out of wallet* “No, really, I’m a high school teacher.”

    Manager: “This teaching license only has a name. You probably just have the same name as your mother.”

    Me: “No, we don’t. Whatever, forget it. 15% isn’t worth the hassle.” *to fiancé* “Honey, it’s my turn to pay, right?”

    Fiancé: “Nope! I’m taking it this time. I owe you since I accidentally woke you up last night climbing into bed.”

    Manager: “Uh… I’ll be right back. I just noticed I made a mistake on your bill. Don’t move.”

    (We assumed that maybe the manager finally decided to give us the discount and don’t think twice. However, a few minutes later…)

    Security: “Sir, we’re gonna have to speak to you for a moment.”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Security: “Oh, sweetie, nothing for you to worry about. We just want to ask your ‘friend’ a few questions. You’ll be perfectly safe and fine. How about you order yourself a little dessert, okay, honey?”

    Me: “First of all, that’s my FIANCÉ you’ve got there, and secondly, I think you owe both of us an explanation.”

    Security: “Wait a second… fiancé?” *looks at both of us, looks at the table, notices the wine bottle and the glasses, looks at us again* “Uh, miss, how old are you?”

    Me: “25. We were both ID’d when we ordered, so this better not be about the wine.”

    Security: “Oh, boy. Let me go get the manager…”

    (Turned out, the manager freaked when he heard that my fiancé [who is 30 and definitely looks like it] was climbing into bed with what he thought was a high school student [me] and got security to intervene while he called the police. Luckily he was still on the phone when the security guard went to find him, so the cops were never actually involved. The manager never noticed the alcohol on the table [meaning I was at least 19 and very much legal] and failed to notice my birthday on my photo ID when trying to argue that I wasn’t a teacher. All he saw was “some kid trying to get a discount.” We ended up getting the entire meal for free for our trouble!)


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