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    Childhood Cheer

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (At our supermarket, it’s common for parents to ask if their child can have a single cocktail frankfurt (which are often called cheerios) to nibble on while they shop. We also offer them freely to most customers with children. They love it. On this day, I’m serving a middle aged woman and her twenty-something daughter.)

    Me: “And will that be all today?”

    Mother: “Yep, thanks.”

    (I turn away to wrap their purchases and I overhear the next part.)

    Daughter: *mumbling something*

    Mother: *laughing* “I used to be able to get you a free cheerio when you were four, but they’re not going to give you one now!”

    (I turn back to hand them their items.)

    Me: *to the mother* “Has your little girl been good enough for a cheerio?”

    (The mother face-palms as the daughter literally jumps up at down with excitement.)

    Daughter: “Yay, yay, yay!” *stuffs entire cheerio into her mouth* “Fankoo!”

    Mother: “This hasn’t happened for almost 20 years and now I’m going to have to do it every time!”

    (This made my day. Never lose your inner child!)

    Should Let Your Hair Down At The Border

    | MA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m at the gate, about to board a flight. I had really long hair when my passport photo was taken, but I recently got a mohawk. The flight attendant checking my documents looks at my photo several times, very confused.)

    Me: “Oh, I cut my hair.”

    Flight Attendant: “Bad decision!”

    Me: *sarcastically* “Thank you!”

    Flight Attendant: “No, no. I mean you looked better before. I don’t like you now…”

    Me: “…”

    You’ll Pay For That Joke

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (I am paying off my student loans every month, but I have been getting harassing phone calls to up my payments.)

    Caller: “Are you sure you can’t make a higher payment? Can’t your parents help you?”

    Me: “No. I am sorry but I just can’t afford it.”

    Caller: “Can’t you live without something?”

    Me: * sarcastically* “Well, I guess I can live without groceries.”

    Caller: “Great! I will change your payment to $180 every two weeks!”

    (She hung up on me. I had to call her manager, who was an even bigger bully, but I managed to change it back to the amount I could afford.)

    They’re Not On The Same Page

    | Dusseldorf, Germany | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m working in the local IT department of an international law firm.)

    Me: “IT support. How may I help you?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print.”

    (I see the lawyer’s name and room number on my display.)

    Me: “Hello, Mr. [Lawyer]. What do you mean, you can’t print? I don’t have reports of printer malfunctions, yet. Could you please describe your problem further? Do you get an error message?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print! There is no error message; the d*** thing doesn’t react at all!”

    Me: “On which printer are you trying to print?”

    Lawyer: “Which printer? F****** all of them! I even installed a printer on a different floor!”

    (I connect remotely to his PC and see that he has a Word document open and every printer in the selection box gives the status ‘ready’. Additionally I check every printer on his floor via our Web Interface for error messages. No error comes up.)

    Lawyer: “I need the last page printed out ASAP. Every time I’m in a hurry these d*** PCs aren’t working. Why can’t you and your colleagues get these f****** things to work like they should?”

    Me: “Uhm… you need the last page printed? That would be page three of that document?”

    Lawyer: “No, godd*** it! Are you blind? Here, in the line ‘print page xx’ I typed in page four! I need page four! I have a meeting with a client in five minutes and I need this page for my notes! F***!”

    Me: “Is this the correct document? Because I see that this document only has three pages.”

    (I change the four into a three and click on ‘print,’ and sure enough the printer in his office starts printing.)

    Me: “The printer seems to be working fine. Is this the page you need?”

    Lawyer: “Uhm… this is the page… Yes… Well… I can handle it from here. Bye.” *click*

    Drawing Blood And Laughter

    | MN, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am working as a phlebotomist for a well known blood bank. We are having a very busy day at a local church. My donor is a very nice man in his 80s and at the bed next to me is a brand new employee working with a notoriously oblivious on-the-job trainer.)

    Trainer: “Yeah, we work with 16 gauge needles here. Personally I find them easy to work with but some people prefer working with bigger needles and some prefer working with smaller ones. All depends what feels better in your hands.”

    Me: *turns to my donor* “Sir, please forgive me for this but: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”

    Donor: “Honey, if you hadn’t said it I would have.”


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