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    Present Management Stress Disorder

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Top

     

    (I have severe PTSD and the hectic, noisy atmosphere of my restaurant job can be rough. My boss is a veteran, so he understands and lets me have several breaks to make sure I don’t get too overwhelmed, and the rest of the staff is very understanding about it. I’ve been getting treatment and doing very well. My boss is on vacation this particular week, and has the assistant manager from the morning shifts running the restaurant.)

    Assistant Manager: “Hey! Where are you going?”

    Me: “I’m taking a break. I’m feeling a bit foggy and need to sit outside for a bit. I won’t be out there for longer than ten minutes.”

    Assistant Manager: “You can’t just wander off whenever you feel like it! You have s*** to do!”

    Me: “I finished all of the major tasks, and the dinner rush is done. It’s pretty slow right now, so I figured I wouldn’t be missed.”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re the one with PDST or whatever, aren’t you? That’s a just a stupid excuse you crazies use to get out of work.  I’m not letting you take advantage of me!”

    (He storms over to the back door and starts moving heavy boxes of meat and produce in front of it. I realize what he’s doing and I start to panic.)

    Me: “Wait, please. No, please, don’t block the door—”

    Assistant Manager: “You are never getting out of here on my watch. You aren’t going home until I say you can!”

    Me: *tearing up* “Please don’t. I’m already embarrassed by this as it is, and I can’t move those boxes. I just need to clear my head.”

    (The assistant manager then goes to one of the entrances of the restaurant and blocks it with a table and points to me.)

    Assistant Manager: “You. Aren’t. Going. Anywhere!”

    (I start to have a flashback and curl up on the ground. It’s been a year since I had an episode like this. I hear one of the waitresses run in.)

    Waitress: “What’s happening?! [My Name], are you okay?!”

    Assistant Manager: “He’s just trying to get attention!”

    Waitress: “DID YOU BLOCK THE DOOR?! HE WAS A HOSTAGE IN A ROBBERY, YOU IDIOT! WHY WOULD YOU BLOCK OFF THE DOORS?!”

    (The assistant manager went pale and watched while the kitchen staff rushed to my aid. They moved boxes aside, walked me outside, and one of the waitresses even brought me my panic attack medication from my bag. My boss was called. Not only did he scream at the AM for not taking my mental illness seriously, he was also fired because blocking one of the customer exits was a safety hazard in the event of a fire.)

    Like They Were Just Fertilised Yesterday

    | Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a registered nurse and I work with a fairly large team of other health professionals including dietitians, physiotherapists, speech pathologists, etc. Clearly these are relatively clever people who have attended university to gain a degree in their respective fields. We are talking about food one day:)

    Other Health Professional: “I don’t eat eggs.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Other Health Professional: “It’s like eating baby chickens.”

    Me: “You get that the eggs that you buy in the supermarket aren’t actually fertilised so aren’t actually baby chickens right?”

    Other Health Professional: “Actually, I only just found that out the other day.”

    Me: “You actually thought all eggs were baby chickens?”

    Other Health Professional: “Yeah!”

    Great Scott, Chewie!

    | Folkestone, Kent, UK | Employees, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I’m getting my haircut by Barber #1. Barber #2 is nearby drinking tea as there are no other customers in the shop. Barber #1 and I are talking about the ‘Back to the Future’ trilogy, especially as it is now 2015, the year that Marty and Doc visit in ‘Back to the Future Part II.’)

    Me: “Shame, we won’t have our hoverboards this year.”

    Barber #1: “I know! But…”

    Barber #2: “Is that really hairy guy still in it?”

    (Blank looks.)

    Barber #2: “You know; the one with hair everywhere?”

    Me: “Do you mean Doc? Yeah, he’s been in all of them.”

    Barber #2: “No, the really hairy one. You know…” *makes Wookie noise*

    Me: “Um, Chewbacca? I think he’s going to be in the new Star Wars film this year.”

    Barber #1: “But we weren’t talking about them. We were talking about Back to the Future.”

    Barber #2: “Were you? Oh, okay.”

    Me: *to Barber #1* “I know Doc Brown’s hair is wild, but to confuse him with Chewbacca…”

    Emergency Sirens


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    Dragonsaver

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am attending a home and garden show at the state fairgrounds. The complex is huge and has multiple buildings with multiple events going on, all with different admission fees. I am on my way back to my car when my young daughter informs me she is about to have a bathroom emergency. I take her to the nearest building.)

    Security Guard: “Hello! You guys got your tickets?”

    Me: “Actually, I don’t. We were just hoping to pop in and use the restroom.”

    Guard: “I’m sorry, I’ve been specifically told not to allow that because people sneak in.”

    (He then looks down and sees my daughter in visible discomfort.)

    Guard: “Um, I just got a call on the radio that there might be a dragon in the building, so I am going to have to look over in this direction for a while. When I turn my back, whatever you do, DON’T open these doors. DO NOT go down this hallway approximately 20 yards, and under no circumstances use the employee restroom because it’s cleaner, and there is no line.”

    (He then winks, opens the door, and turns his back. We hurry in and use the potty. On the way out, I see the guard.)

    Me: “Thanks so much! Have you tracked down the ‘dragon’?”

    Guard: “Funniest thing, turned out to be a light fixture, not a dragon at all, so there’s no danger. Have a great evening, ladies.”

    (Mr. Security Guard, if you are reading this, thank you! You are a lifesaver!)


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