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  • Will Never Claim Ignorance
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  • Best Not To Beat A Dead Horse

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Coworkers

    (I work in a small bulk grocery store. As it is the week before Thanksgiving, we are extremely busy. It’s nearing the end of my shift and a coworker is about to go on lunch. The following exchange occurs as we’re walking toward the break room.)

    Me: “Ugh… it’s been a rough day. Am I dead yet?”

    Coworker: “I wish…”

    (I start to walk away and then it clicks what she just said.)

    Me: “I’m sorry… did you just say ‘I wish?’”

    Coworker: “No, that’s not what I meant to say!”

    Me: “Well, it sounded like it.”

    Coworker: “No! I just meant I feel the same way and almost wish I was dead; not you! That didn’t come out right!”

    (I laugh it off.)

    Coworker #2: *jokingly* “Well, now we know what she really thinks of you!”

    (My coworkers are lucky I have a dark sense of humor.)

    All Work And No Play(Boy)

    | USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (I am a female nurse. I am working the night shift. Since it is often slow, I take out an old Game Boy to keep myself awake. I go to the break-room to get it.)

    Me: “Oh, c***! I forgot my Playboy!”

    (All my coworkers burst out laughing. I turn red, realizing what I said.)

    Me: “Oh, I mean my Game Boy!”

    Coworker #1: Are you sure about that?

    Coworker #2: “Yeah! You’re pretty perverted. We know! Miss naughty nurse!”

    Giving Their Company A Bad Name

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am calling to schedule an appointment for a food safety exam with the nutritionist at a local grocery store, who I spoke with the day before.)

    Employee #1: “Thanks for calling [Store]. This is [Name]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hi. I need to talk to Nancy.”

    Employee #1: “Okay. I’ll transfer you.”

    (I am placed on hold for a couple minutes)

    Employee #1: “Dennis is actually with a customer, so I’ll place you back on hold.”

    Me: “Wait. I wanted to talk to Nancy.”

    Employee #1: “Oh! Sorry. Let me transfer you!”

    (I am placed on hold again.)

    Employee #2: “This is Rosemary in the floral department.”

    Me: “…I’m looking for Nancy, actually.”

    Employee #2: “Oh, sorry. I’ll transfer you.”

    (I wait again for a few minutes.)

    Employee #2: “This is Rosemary in the floral department.”

    Me: “…I’m still looking for Nancy.”

    Employee #2: “Oh! Sorry, let’s see if we can get this right this time!”

    (While I am placed on hold, I hear an ad to ‘contact Nancy for my nutrition needs.’)

    Me: *to no one* “Easier said than done!”

    Not Always Mostly Working

    | WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (About 28 days ago I bought an awesome laptop bag. The bag broke before the 30-day return period is over. With the receipt and tags from the bag in hand, I take it back to the store I’d purchased it from.)

    Me: “Hey, I need to return this. Here’s my receipt. I’m kinda bummed, because this was a great bag, but the zipper gets stuck on a misshapen tooth.”

    (The clerk examines the bag. He looks it over, inside and out, then proceeds to wrench on the zipper pull like his life depended on it. He forces the bag to zip completely.)

    Clerk: “There you go. I fixed it.”

    Me: “But you can see that there is a crooked tooth in the zipper. It’s going to get caught again and I’ll have the same problem.”

    (As if to demonstrate how he’d “magically” fixed my bag, the clerk begins sawing on the zipper pull again. Sure enough it ends up stuck halfway once again. More wrenching on it gets the bag closed again.)

    Clerk: “See?”

    Me: “That doesn’t really fix the problem.”

    Clerk: “Well, it mostly works now. Just keep it.”

    (The clerk pushes the bag back across the counter to me.)

    Me: “No. I didn’t pay money for a bag that will ‘mostly’ protect my laptop. I have my receipt. I am within the return period. I want to return this defective bag.”

    Clerk: “Well, I fixed it, so it’s not really defective. And it’s obviously been used so I can’t return it without manager approval.”

    (The clerk calls the manager, who saunters over and examines the bag.)

    Clerk: “She says she’s returning it because it’s defective, but it’s not. I fixed it.”

    (The manager starts doing the same insane yanking on the zipper that the other clerk had done. It takes some effort, but she manages to get it open and closed around the broken tooth of the zipper.)

    Manager: *sighs in defeat* “Okay. It’s not defective, but I will let you return it just this once.”

    (The manager rang it up and handed me my cash. I left the store, completely bewildered at how a simple return within the 30-day return window and with a receipt had become such an ordeal!)

    Very Bad Reception, Part 4

    | MD, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I need to make an appointment to see a doctor at my college’s health center. I go to the front desk to make said appointment.)

    Me: “Hi. I need to make an appointment”

    Desk Receptionist: *hands me a business card* “Call this number to make appointments here.”

    (The card is obviously pre-made, so I assume appointments are handled through an office somewhere else in the building. I step away from the desk and call the number.)

    Desk Receptionist: *picks up phone* “Hello. How may I help you?”

    (I ended up making the appointment over the phone from 10 feet away!)

    Very Bad Reception, Part 3
    Very Bad Reception, Part 2
    Very Bad Reception

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