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    Very Crepe At Describing Things

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

    (We had just started up a 2-for-1 sale with our crepes and had seriously misjudged how many people would show up for it. As such I’m the only person scheduled who can make crepes. My boss isn’t that great under pressure. I’ve got about ten crepes to go through at this point, while I’ve got three cooking in front of me.)

    Boss: “[My Name]! Did you get the things for the people?!”

    Me: “What?”

    Boss: “The things! For the people! Did you get them?!”

    Me: “What things for what people?”

    Boss: *fumbles through all my tickets* “Never mind.” *wanders away*

    Can’t Think Outside The Box

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I go into our local serve-yourself bakery to buy muffins for some staff meetings. I needed two dozen, but because the meetings are spaced throughout the day, I pack eight muffins into three different boxes.  I get up to the register to pay and the clerk tries to charge me for three dozen.)

    Me: “I only have two dozen.”

    Clerk: “But you have three boxes so it’s three dozen.”

    Me: “Yes, I have three boxes, but there are only eight in each box which equals two dozen.

    Clerk: “Nope. Three boxes equals three dozen.”

    (After going round and round with her several times, I ask for the manager. She goes into the back to get him and as soon as he comes out, he says without even looking:)

    Manager: “Three boxes is three-dozen.”

    (I put the boxes on the counter and walked out. I ended up at my local supermarket where I bought two dozen donuts in three boxes without any problems.)

    The Name Was Not A Piece Of Cake

    | WI, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (Like many other bakeries, ours takes custom orders by asking for a last name that the customer can pick up by. Also of note, I work only the very early morning shifts, so I see very little of our customer base and take very few orders myself.)

    Customer: “Good morning. Pick up for a cake for [very Polish-sounding last name that starts with a K].”

    Me: “Sure! Just a moment please.”

    (I go to the cooler to check for the cake, but there is only one order, and it is for a [very obviously English last name starting with an H]. I return to the customer.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry sir, but I can’t seem to find the cake. Could it possibly have been listed under any other name?”

    (The customer’s eyes go wide while I speak.)

    Customer: “No, it would only be under [Polish Name].”

    (I decide to check the orders that have been finished and marked as received, and there’s a similar Polish name starting with an A. I take the order by the customer, in case someone in his family had picked it up earlier.)

    Me: “Could it possibly be [Other Polish Name]?”

    Customer: “No, no it has to be [Polish Name].”

    (While I start to speak again, my coworker comes up to see what’s going on, and the customer seems to recognize her. She quickly walks away, but then comes back with the lone cake from the cooler and stops me in mid-sentence.)

    Coworker: “Is the cake for a Harry and Larry?” *looking at the decorations written on the cake*

    Customer: *joking with her* “Well, it’s supposed to be for a Larry and Harry, but I suppose that will do!” *he takes the cake with satisfaction and heads off*

    Me: “…what?”

    Coworker: “Oh, I took his order the other day, and I recognized him. What was the problem?”

    Me: “He asked for an order with a very obviously a Polish name starting with a K that I can’t even pronounce or begin to spell. That is NOT the name written on the order form.”

    Coworker: “Oh… was I anywhere close?”

    Me: “…nowhere near.”

    The Icing On The Cake Is The Icing On The Cake

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (My mom is at the bakery buying a cake for a special occasion.)

    Employee: “Here’s your cake. Would you like anything written on it?”

    Mom: “Well, yes, but I was wondering if I can do it myself?”

    Employee: “Oh, no, that’s quite all right. I can do it myself.”

    Mom: “No, this is something only I can write. I don’t think you can do it.”

    Employee: “Rest assured, ma’am, I am very confident in my ability to write with icing. I’ve worked here for over 15 years, and I’ve gotten quite good at it.”

    Mom: “Look, I’m pretty sure you’re really good at it, but please humour me just this once. If you can just give me a piping bag and some icing, I’ll do it myself and be on my way.”

    Employee: “Okay, ma’am, but only on the condition that you pay for the cake even if the writing doesn’t turn out to your liking.”

    Mom: “Fine by me.”

    (The employee hands a piping bag full of chocolate icing to my mom. She takes the piping bag, and starts masterfully writing on a 10-inch cake, in KOREAN. She writes small enough to put at least three sentences on such a small space. The employee just looks at this spectacle, dumbfounded.)

    Employee: “Okay. You’re right, and I’m wrong. That’ll teach me for doubting a customer.”

    Just Got Rid Of His Breadwinner

    | CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money, Top

    (The owners of the bakery I work at recently retired. Our new owner is a kid fresh out of USC whose father bought the business for him to run. It is our first meeting with him.)

    Owner: “I’ve been looking at the books and I think I’ve figured out the best way to improve productivity. First of all, due to the recent recession were going to have to implement some cutbacks, starting with salaries.”

    (He then announces that most of the employees are getting at least a 10 per cent pay cut and the head baker, a man with over 30 years of experience, is seeing his salary cut in half.)

    Head Baker: “Why the h*** should we get a pay cut? Business has been improving year after year for a solid decade here and the economic downturn actually lowered our operating costs.”

    Owner: “You just don’t understand economics. Now, you can either take the pay cut or find another job.”

    (The head baker walked out without a word. It took exactly two days for the new owner to realize that he had fired the only man who knew all of the recipes and who dealt with over half our regular clientele. After a particularly vicious scolding by his father over the phone he was forced to hire the head baker back at nearly double his original pay.)

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