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    The Key To Listening

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I’ve just arrived for my shift and need a second person to go to the back with me so I can get my money, as I don’t have a key.)

    Me: “I need someone with a door key, please!”

    Coworker #1: “I don’t have a door key. Ask [Coworker #2].”

    Coworker #2: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a door key? I need my money.”

    Coworker #2: “I do have a door key!”

    Teller Supervisor: *from another room* “STOP CALLING PEOPLE ‘DORKY’! THAT’S NOT NICE!”

    Could Have Saved Them Both Some Time

    | CA, USA | Employees, Money

    (This was back before I started doing most of my banking online and was in the bank regularly to take care of my account. While I understand the tellers have to ask me about a savings account, I got a little tired of how pushy they always got after I would tell them I wasn’t interested.)

    Teller: “I see you don’t have a savings account. Would you like to open one?”

    Me: “Do me a favor. Look at how much I owe on my credit card, then look at how much I have in my account.”

    Teller: “Okay?” *does as I ask, then looks visibly embarrassed*

    Me: “I’m not interested in a savings account.”

    Teller: “Okay, then, have a nice day!”

    Laundry Is Hung And Quartered

    | MI, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I live in southern Michigan, which is not very far from Canada. I have opened a coin roll at the bank, as lately I have not been getting entirely American coinage.)

    Me: “Excuse me; three of these quarters are Canadian. I’d like you to switch them for American quarters, please.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why; they’re just the same.”

    Me: “Oh, well then. I’ve got a Canadian ten dollar bill, too. Can I get another roll of American quarters with it? If they’re just the same.”

    Teller: “No! Canadian currency isn’t worth as much as ours!”

    Me: “Exactly! Now that we’ve established that, please exchange these Canadian quarters you gave me for the American ones I paid for, as I asked you to do.”

    Teller: “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s hardly any difference.”

    Me: “In the first place, that’s not your call to make. In the second, vending machines won’t take Canadian coins. I can’t do my laundry on Canadian quarters.”

    Teller: *with gigantic put-upon sigh* “Oh, all right!”

    Me: “Yes, I know; how outrageous that I expect a bank to deliver legal tender of the country it’s actually in.”

    A Low Grade Of Customer Service

    | Berkshire, England, UK | Employees, School

    (I am a 20 year old female, but I have been told I look anywhere from 14-16. I made an appointment to discuss getting a student credit card so that I could build up a good credit history early and make life easier later down the line. I arrive 10 minutes early because I hate being late. As things go, the person before me takes 30 minutes extra, so I’m already a bit frustrated when I start talking with him.)

    Banker: “So, you want to open a student credit card?”

    Me: “Yes, I study archaeology BSc at [University].”

    Banker: “Oh, good. They are okay, I guess… What grades do you get?”

    (First off, the uni is on par with Oxford for the course I am on and beats Cambridge, so it’s not just okay. Secondly, I do not feel my grades are his concern but I am doing very well so I don’t mind.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m getting high two ones, so, really good!”

    Banker: *chuckles* “That’s not too bad, I suppose…”

    Me: “I am second best in my class; I am doing extremely well and am only in first year.”

    Banker: *looks at me incredulously* “Really, you could do better.”

    (2:1 is second highest you can get. As I am just below border for first, this is EXTREMELY offensive.)

    Banker: “Oh, and next week someone will call you to check on customer service. Can you not mention the wait?”

    Me: “Of course not. I work in customer service; I understand waiting…”

    (No I didn’t mention the wait… I did however mention how unsettled he made me feel, and the fact he kept alluding to not wishing to give me a card because I wasn’t getting the highest grade.)

    Hard To Explain

    | OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My manager calls me in for a special six month review. Since I recently took on several large projects, and have been doing well, even getting compliments from the CEO, I secretly hope for a raise.)

    Manager: “I want to talk to you about [Project #1] and [Project #2]. You’ve been doing a really good job with them, but I was really hoping that, by this time in the year, they would have gotten easier for you.”

    Me: “Oh, well, they’re always going to be difficult. I basically have to start from scratch on each one! I can handle it though, and [CEO] has been really impressed.”

    Manager: “Yes, but I really want you to get to a point where they’re easy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand. Do you want me to spend less time on them?”

    Manager: “No, you’re getting everything done. They still just seem to be a challenge. Is there a way you can work on that?”

    Me: “They’re always going to be hard. They’re huge projects with enormous documents and require coordination with at least 10 departments and they have to be finished every month. I’m not sure how you want them to be easier. Do you want them to just look easier?”

    Manager: “No. I just want you to focus on making the whole process easier. It just seems really hard right now.”

    (So, no raise because my work is hard. I still have no idea what she meant.)


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