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  • Not So Closely Guarded

    | CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Physical

    (Due to some robberies in the area the bank has hired additional security guards to patrol outside of the building. I’ve just finished going over some paperwork with an accountant and am walking to my car when a vagrant in a dirty coat ambushes me. Note that I’m a woman who is 5′ 1” and weighs less than a hundred pounds.)

    Me: “Hey, let go!”

    Thief: *slurring* “Listen, I just WANT some WINE!”

    (Stumbling, the guy grabs at my purse and tries yanking it out my arms.)

    Me: “Help! Get this guy off me!”

    (I spend the next several minutes fighting off the drunken thief. Finally I manage to get free, only to find he managed to steal my car keys and phone in the scuffle. My hair and clothes a mess, I stumble back into the bank so I can call for help. The bank manager instantly spots me and rushes over.)

    Bank Manager: “Oh, my goodness! What happened? Are you okay? Did you contact one of the security guards about the attack?”

    (I explain the situation when the security guard who was supposed to be watching the parking lot wanders in.)

    Guard: “So, my shift’s over in three minutes. Is it okay if I clock out now?”

    Me: “Hey, where the f*** were you when I was being attacked by that crazed bum?”

    Guard: “Oh, calm down, lady. Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not like you got jumped by a gang of people.”

    (I’m literally stunned by his flippant regard about not helping me.)

    Me: “So, you didn’t think you should have gotten involved when one of your bank’s customers was attacked by someone twice her size?”

    Guard: “Look, it’s not my job to protect bank customers. Now if—”

    (The bank manager, who had been silent during this exchange, finally speaks up.)

    Manager: “Then what the f*** is your job, [Guard]? Because from where I stand protecting our customers from random thieves in our parking lot sounds like exactly the kind of job we hired extra security for.”

    (The manager asked me to review the parking lot footage with him and the guard. The footage showed the guard actually stopping and watching the entire fight from a safe distance, never interfering during the 10-minute-long fight or even after when I dragged myself inside. Despite his iron-clad defense that it ‘wasn’t his job to help people’ the manager fired him on the spot.)

    The Quality Of Service Decreases From Here

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (In my local bank branch, there are advisers who meet you on the way in: middle-level ones that work behind the counters and higher-level ones that work in offices downstairs.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m looking to decrease my overdraft limit. Can I do that at the counter, or do I need to see someone downstairs?”

    Greeter: “Oh, that’s no problem; you can do that at the desk.”

    (After a ten minute queue for the counters, I arrive.)

    Teller: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Me: “I need to decrease my overdraft limit today. Here’s my card.”

    Teller: “Oh, you can’t do that here. If you want to borrow more money, you need to see someone downstairs.”

    Me: “I’m not borrowing more money; I need to decrease my overdraft. So I’m borrowing less, you see.”

    Teller: *blank look* “I don’t understand you, sir.”

    Me: “DE-crease. To borrow LESS money.”

    Teller: “Hang on a mo. I need to call someone.”

    (He presses a button. A manager arrives shortly.)

    Manager: “Good afternoon, are we having a problem here?”

    Teller: “I told him that he needs to go downstairs if he wants to borrow money.”

    Me: “Excuse me, that’s not what I asked for. I need to DECREASE my overdraft limit on my current account.”

    Manager: *puzzled* “Oh, of course you can do that at the counter. Only takes a minute. [Teller], do you know how to do that?”

    Teller: “But you told me to send people downstairs if they want to borrow more money!”

    (At this point the manager’s arm makes a jerky movement like he was about to facepalm himself.)

    Manager: *patiently* “Why don’t you take a break?”

    Teller: “Great!”

    (He leaps up and walks off. The manager sits down, takes my card and ID, and types for about ten seconds.)

    Manager: “That’s all done for you now, sir. Sorry about that.”

    Me: “No problem. He seemed a little confused.”

    Manager: “I’ll admit that people borrowing LESS money isn’t a request we get that often…”

    An Overage Of Politeness

    | USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (I call into my mortgage company because they’ve made several mistakes in paying my property taxes, resulting in my taxes being overpaid and them demanding I pay a large additional sum into escrow to cover their mistakes.)

    Representative: “So how can I help you with your property taxes?”

    Me: “You’ve been paying the property taxes on my home without considering the owner occupied deduction for over a year now. You’re paying the first line on the bill, not the ‘amount due.’ That has resulted in my property tax account being overpaid by several hundred dollars. I’d like you to only pay the ‘amount due,’ as well as file for a refund of the overpaid taxes from the tax office, since they won’t release it to me or you unless you request it.”

    Representative: “I see your property taxes were $X this last half-year. We paid that as scheduled.”

    Me: *sharply* “No, you’re not listening to me. You’re paying the wrong line item on the bill. Can you see the actual paper bill that the city sends to you?”

    Representative: “Yes, I see electronic copy of the bill here. The first line is…”

    Me: *again sharply* “Just stop right there. Look down at the bottom of the page. What does it say beside ‘amount due?’”

    Representative: “Looking at that it says… oh, dear, it says that you owe negative $700. We screwed up, didn’t we?”

    Me: *still slightly sharply* “Yes, you did. Now, can you please request that overage back from the city, and start paying the actual amount due?”

    Representative: “Yes, we can fix this. I need to place you on a brief hold to talk to our research department and get them to fix this. Can you hold?”

    Me: “Yes, I can hold. And thank you for actually listening to me.”

    Representative: “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

    Me: “I said thank you and I will hold?”

    Representative: “Sorry… I’m just not used to people saying thank you to me. Your tone was somewhat angry, and most people who call in like that just curse at me. Sorry, you just confused me with that. I’ll put you on hold now, and get your problem fixed quickly!”

    (She puts me on hold and comes back after a minute to tell me that she’s submitted the request, who to call if it doesn’t get fixed, and when and what I can expect.)

    Representative: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Me: “No, that’s my only issue. I’m sorry for being short with you earlier, but this isn’t the first time I’ve called in about this issue. Most of the people I talk to act like I’m trying to get out of paying a bill I owe and are extremely rude to me, so I gave as good as I normally get. All I wanted was for this problem to be fixed.”

    Representative: “No apologies needed. You were angry, but polite. Honestly, you’re the first person to say ‘thank you’ to me today, so you’re my number one customer in my book. Please note my name, and if this doesn’t get resolved, ask for me if you call back in. I’ll make sure it gets fixed.”

    Taking Credit For Social Insecurity

    | Fairfax, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees

    (I’m trying to open a bank account at a large national bank. I have what I believe to be the required items: two pieces of ID and a check to deposit.)

    Teller: “Okay, all I need now is two forms of ID.”

    (I hand her my drivers’ license and social security card. This is listed as acceptable forms of ID on their website.)

    Teller: ” I’m sorry, but I can’t accept your social security card as a second form of identification.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. How that is not a form of ID?”

    Teller: “I don’t know if this is yours, so I can’t accept it.”

    Me: “But your website lists it as an acceptable form of a secondary ID. My picture is on my license and my name matches my social security card. If a government issued card isn’t accepted, what else can I show to confirm my identification ?”

    Teller: “I can accept a credit card if you have one.”

    Me: “…”

    (At this point, I told her to cancel my application. I refuse to use a bank that accepts a credit card over a social security card as a form of identification!)

    Solving Your Cash Flow Problem

    | WI, USA | Employees, Money

    (I have a check that I need to deposit at my bank, but I need it to pay a bill online immediately. I head inside.)

    Me: “Hey, there! Just wondering, is there any way I could cash this check, then deposit the cash into my account so it’s immediately available?”

    Teller: “No, I’m sorry. You can either cash it or deposit it. It will take 1-3 business days to clear if you deposit it.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Well, just cash then I guess.”

    (I then get the bright idea as I’m leaving to just go through the drive through and try and deposit it there. I think I’m being extremely clever and have beaten the system. But, I’m called out.)

    Teller: *now on drive through speaker* “Ms. [My Name], I already told you that you can’t do this.”

    Me: “I guess I just don’t understand. You just gave me the cash. All you have to do is put it in my account.”

    Teller: “I really can’t do that.”

    Me: “Well, hang on a minute. I can’t do that here… but doesn’t that mean I can just take this exact same handful of cash you gave me to the downtown branch and deposit it there?”

    Teller: *speechless*

    Me: “I’ll take that as a yes. Thanks!”

    (And of course, the downtown branch had no issues.)


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