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  • September's Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Not Thankful For The Early Notice

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m a waiter at a popular sports bar. I was hired on in August and was told that, due to Thanksgiving being a busy day for football games, I had to let them know if I needed that day off in advance. I know that my family was planning a trip to the beach so I go ahead and tell my boss during the initial training day.)

    Me: “I’ve already made plans with my family that week so I won’t be able to work.”

    Boss: “No problem; thanks for the early notice!”

    (Fast-forward to the morning before Thanksgiving Day. I’m at the beach with my family when I get a call from my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey [My Name], I know you requested this week off to be with your family, but I could really use your help here at [Bar]. Is there any way you could come in for an evening shift after you’ve had dinner?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, [Boss], but I’m not in town; we’re at the beach until Saturday.”

    Boss: “Wait, what?! You didn’t tell me you were going to be out of town!”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t think I needed to specify where I was going to be…”

    Boss: “You should have told me you wouldn’t be able to get called in; I was counting on you being in town in case I needed coverage!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you I wasn’t going to be available at all this week. Why would you count on me if I requested those days off?”

    Boss: “Wait… which beach are you at?”

    Me: “Virginia Beach… Why?”

    Boss: “That’s what, four hours away?”

    Me: *knowing where he’s going with this* “Uh huh…”

    Boss: “Well… if you left at three pm you could be here by seven. That way I can have someone to close.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… You want me to leave my family vacation the day of Thanksgiving, drive four hours to work one shift, and drive back after I’ve closed the bar at two am?”

    Boss: *sigh* “…I’ll see if I can find someone else.”

    Musically Arrested

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

    Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

    Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”

    They’re Too Rich For Blood

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m working in a seasonal bar with two other girls, cleaning the bathrooms. I’ve just come into one when I hear the other girls.)

    Coworker #1: “It’s disgusting!”

    Coworker #2: “There’s this huge pool of blood in the third stall. It’s so gross!”

    (I go over to the stall in question. There are maybe a couple of drops of blood.)

    Me: *with dry sarcasm* “Charming.”

    (I put on rubber gloves, get a paper towel, and wipe it up very casually.)

    Coworker #1: “Oh, my goodness! You should get an award or something!”

    Coworker #2: “How did you do that without puking?”

    Me: “I’ve cleaned up puke, too…”

    This Is Not One Of The Better Times

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (We’re at one of our favorite bars, chatting with the bartender. My husband has a very dry sense of humor.)

    Husband: “Okay, [Bartender], I think we’re ready to close out.”

    Bartender: “You’re sure? Would you like a whiskey drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A vodka drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A lager drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A cider drink?”

    Husband: *deadpan* “[Bartender], I will jump over this bar…”

    Bartender: “That’s from Chumbawamba.”

    Husband: “I know.”

    Bartender: *as we’re leaving* “I sing songs that remind me of the good times.”

    A Sickening Lack Of Concern

    , | Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I’ve recently had to take some time off work due to a family emergency. I go back for one shift, then have a day off, but feel ill that day and spend most of the night throwing up. I have a shift later that day so call my manager.)

    Manager: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi. I’m scheduled to work this evening, but spent most of last night throwing up. Is there a rule—”

    Manager: “—you’re not missing another shift.”

    Me: “I actually feel better now. But seeing as we’re working with food, do I have to wait 24 hours or anything after being sick?”

    Manager: “Just come in. You can clear tables.”

    (I went in. I ended up serving food. Luckily that manager left a month later.)

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