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    This Is Not One Of The Better Times

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (We’re at one of our favorite bars, chatting with the bartender. My husband has a very dry sense of humor.)

    Husband: “Okay, [Bartender], I think we’re ready to close out.”

    Bartender: “You’re sure? Would you like a whiskey drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A vodka drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A lager drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A cider drink?”

    Husband: *deadpan* “[Bartender], I will jump over this bar…”

    Bartender: “That’s from Chumbawamba.”

    Husband: “I know.”

    Bartender: *as we’re leaving* “I sing songs that remind me of the good times.”

    A Sickening Lack Of Concern

    , | Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I’ve recently had to take some time off work due to a family emergency. I go back for one shift, then have a day off, but feel ill that day and spend most of the night throwing up. I have a shift later that day so call my manager.)

    Manager: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi. I’m scheduled to work this evening, but spent most of last night throwing up. Is there a rule—”

    Manager: “—you’re not missing another shift.”

    Me: “I actually feel better now. But seeing as we’re working with food, do I have to wait 24 hours or anything after being sick?”

    Manager: “Just come in. You can clear tables.”

    (I went in. I ended up serving food. Luckily that manager left a month later.)

    On The Other Side Of The Coin, No Tip For You

    , | LA, USA | Employees, Money

    (I used to tend bar and wait tables, so I usually overtip for decent service. While on vacation, I visit a hotel bar for a bottle of something. I receive the drink and hand the bartender the money. She gives me the appropriate bills back but not the coins.)

    Me: “This change isn’t correct.”

    Bartender: “Oh, did you want your coin change, too?”

    Me: “…Well, yes.”

    Bartender: *gives me the coins*

    (Instead of my usual generous tip, I left her nothing.)

    Orange Is The New Vodka

    | New Zealand | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “Can I get a screwdriver, please.”

    Bartender: “Um…”

    Me: “Oh, a vodka and orange.”

    (Bartender proceeds to pour me a glass of orange juice.)

    Bartender: “That’s $8.”

    Me: “Did you put the vodka in that?”

    Bartender: “Oh, no.” *he pours out some orange juice and adds the vodka* “You may need to mix that a bit more.”

    (Afterwards, I found out a friend of mine had issues ordering a straight whiskey.)

    Owned By The Owner, Part 7

    | Saint John, NB, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal

    (One night I get a call from a casual acquaintance:)

    Acquaintance: “Do you know anyone who is free to go take the cover charge at a local pub.”

    Me: “I’m free. What the heck, money is money!”

    (I show up and am given the till, and start greeting people at the door. Some people don’t understand why they have to pay as this pub only has a cover occasionally when they have a band, the rest of the time it is free to come in. So I have to do a lot of explaining. A customer tries to pass me without paying and I stop him.)

    Me: “$2 please.”

    (He shakes my hand.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m [Name].” *tries again to just walk past*

    Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] and I still need two bucks.”

    (He cracks up laughing.)

    Customer: “Good answer! But I’m [Name and Last Name]. I’m the owner.”

    (I was quite embarrassed.)

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4


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