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    You’ve Been Blindly Designated

    | Oakland, CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I have a medical condition that makes drinking alcohol potentially fatal. I’m also legally blind. I can see a little, but use a white cane for dark areas. My coworkers and I are celebrating the end of a long week at a bar.)

    Waitress: “And what can I get you, hun?”

    Me: “If I could just get a soda? I can’t drink booze.”

    Waitress: “It’s a two drink minimum.”

    Me: “Really, I can’t drink. At all. Just a soda, please.”

    (The waitress looks at me, my white cane, and my almost milk-white eyes.)

    Waitress: “Okay, so you’re the designated driver? Cool.”

    Sins Of The Father’s Son

    | UK | Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’ve been working at this bar for a couple of weeks. I haven’t met the owner yet, though I’m aware his extended family live in the area. A customer has ordered a couple of beers.)

    Customer: “I’m the owner’s son. Can you put them on his tab?”

    Me: “Um, I’m just going to go check that with my manager.”

    Customer: “What? Of course I’m the owner’s son. How could you not know that?”

    Me: *getting more suspicious, having heard about these kinds of scam before* “No, I’m going to go check.”

    (I go check with my manager, who is downstairs in the kitchen.)

    Me: “There’s a guy claiming to be the owner’s son.”

    Manager: “Is it?”

    Me: “How am I supposed to know?”

    Manager: “Yeah, it probably is. Just put it on the owner’s tab.”

    (I really hope no one else in the area realises they can get unlimited free drinks here as long as they aren’t served by my manager…)

    Acting Like A Complete Cock-tail

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work in the bar of a nice hotel in Kings Cross and one of the “guests” (a highly arrogant and condescending man) comes in with what appears to be an “escort.” They come up to the bar and are about to order drinks when the gentleman guest (and I mean that in the broadest definition) asks:)

    Guest: “I want you to make the strongest drink you know.”

    (As I have spent several years trying to create the world’s strongest cocktail that tastes non-alcoholic, I take the challenge with pleasure. After she is about half way through the drink she is becoming very friendly, so the guest takes it that he should try one of these drinks I have created, but in his supreme arrogance at being a bit of a high-flyer, says:)

    Guest: “I want that drink too, but you should make mine even stronger!”

    (There are laws in Australia about how much liquor you can put in a cocktail which I, in the previous creation, have disregarded, and so now I am excited to see how far I can push it. Both guests are somewhat peaked. They leave and I close the bar for the night. The next day arrives, and I have set up the bar, and who would be the first person to walk in? None other that our “guest,” no escort this time. He approaches the bar and seems a little worse for wear. He leans over the bar and in the most gruff and threatening almost whisper says:)

    Guest: “If you ever make me a drink like that again, I will have you fired.”

    Not Thankful For The Early Notice

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m a waiter at a popular sports bar. I was hired on in August and was told that, due to Thanksgiving being a busy day for football games, I had to let them know if I needed that day off in advance. I know that my family was planning a trip to the beach so I go ahead and tell my boss during the initial training day.)

    Me: “I’ve already made plans with my family that week so I won’t be able to work.”

    Boss: “No problem; thanks for the early notice!”

    (Fast-forward to the morning before Thanksgiving Day. I’m at the beach with my family when I get a call from my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey [My Name], I know you requested this week off to be with your family, but I could really use your help here at [Bar]. Is there any way you could come in for an evening shift after you’ve had dinner?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, [Boss], but I’m not in town; we’re at the beach until Saturday.”

    Boss: “Wait, what?! You didn’t tell me you were going to be out of town!”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t think I needed to specify where I was going to be…”

    Boss: “You should have told me you wouldn’t be able to get called in; I was counting on you being in town in case I needed coverage!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you I wasn’t going to be available at all this week. Why would you count on me if I requested those days off?”

    Boss: “Wait… which beach are you at?”

    Me: “Virginia Beach… Why?”

    Boss: “That’s what, four hours away?”

    Me: *knowing where he’s going with this* “Uh huh…”

    Boss: “Well… if you left at three pm you could be here by seven. That way I can have someone to close.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… You want me to leave my family vacation the day of Thanksgiving, drive four hours to work one shift, and drive back after I’ve closed the bar at two am?”

    Boss: *sigh* “…I’ll see if I can find someone else.”

    Musically Arrested

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the door at a karaoke bar, which is perfect for me because I love to break out into song at random times. Because we have a couple unruly patrons, the cops are called. When the officers arrive, I am outside on a smoke break and decide to have a little fun at them.)

    Me: *singing* “I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy…”

    Police Officer: *without missing a beat, sings right back at me* “I fought the law, but the law won. I fought the law, but the law won!”

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