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    They’re Too Rich For Blood

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m working in a seasonal bar with two other girls, cleaning the bathrooms. I’ve just come into one when I hear the other girls.)

    Coworker #1: “It’s disgusting!”

    Coworker #2: “There’s this huge pool of blood in the third stall. It’s so gross!”

    (I go over to the stall in question. There are maybe a couple of drops of blood.)

    Me: *with dry sarcasm* “Charming.”

    (I put on rubber gloves, get a paper towel, and wipe it up very casually.)

    Coworker #1: “Oh, my goodness! You should get an award or something!”

    Coworker #2: “How did you do that without puking?”

    Me: “I’ve cleaned up puke, too…”

    This Is Not One Of The Better Times

    | Galveston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (We’re at one of our favorite bars, chatting with the bartender. My husband has a very dry sense of humor.)

    Husband: “Okay, [Bartender], I think we’re ready to close out.”

    Bartender: “You’re sure? Would you like a whiskey drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A vodka drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A lager drink?”

    Husband: “No.”

    Bartender: “A cider drink?”

    Husband: *deadpan* “[Bartender], I will jump over this bar…”

    Bartender: “That’s from Chumbawamba.”

    Husband: “I know.”

    Bartender: *as we’re leaving* “I sing songs that remind me of the good times.”

    A Sickening Lack Of Concern

    , | Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I’ve recently had to take some time off work due to a family emergency. I go back for one shift, then have a day off, but feel ill that day and spend most of the night throwing up. I have a shift later that day so call my manager.)

    Manager: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hi. I’m scheduled to work this evening, but spent most of last night throwing up. Is there a rule—”

    Manager: “—you’re not missing another shift.”

    Me: “I actually feel better now. But seeing as we’re working with food, do I have to wait 24 hours or anything after being sick?”

    Manager: “Just come in. You can clear tables.”

    (I went in. I ended up serving food. Luckily that manager left a month later.)

    On The Other Side Of The Coin, No Tip For You

    , | LA, USA | Employees, Money

    (I used to tend bar and wait tables, so I usually overtip for decent service. While on vacation, I visit a hotel bar for a bottle of something. I receive the drink and hand the bartender the money. She gives me the appropriate bills back but not the coins.)

    Me: “This change isn’t correct.”

    Bartender: “Oh, did you want your coin change, too?”

    Me: “…Well, yes.”

    Bartender: *gives me the coins*

    (Instead of my usual generous tip, I left her nothing.)

    Orange Is The New Vodka

    | New Zealand | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “Can I get a screwdriver, please.”

    Bartender: “Um…”

    Me: “Oh, a vodka and orange.”

    (Bartender proceeds to pour me a glass of orange juice.)

    Bartender: “That’s $8.”

    Me: “Did you put the vodka in that?”

    Bartender: “Oh, no.” *he pours out some orange juice and adds the vodka* “You may need to mix that a bit more.”

    (Afterwards, I found out a friend of mine had issues ordering a straight whiskey.)


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