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    Please Hold For The Employee To Get Fired

    | Finland | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have a very lazy and uncaring worker at our call center. He often clocks in late and clocks out early.)

    Coworker: *answers a call* “Thank you. Your call is important to us. Please hold.” *turns on CD player so loud the caller can hear the music*

    Me: *gesturing* “What the h*** are you doing?!”

    Coworker: “I’m taking a coffee break now.”

    (A minute elapses…)

    Coworker: *turns the radio off* “All the representatives are busy at the moment. Please call later.” *hangs up*

    (He didn’t stay long.)

    Trying To Move House But No One Is Home

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I will be moving to a new apartment in a few weeks. I call my local cable company to get a price quote and to see if I can set up a service appointment. It is almost the end of September.)

    Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name] and I’m moving to a new apartment on October 11. I wanted to see how much it would cost to get cable, Internet, and home phone set up.”

    Representative: “I can help you with that! What is your current address?”

    Me: “Well, I currently live at [Current Residence], but I’m going to move on October 11.”

    Representative: *typing* “Oh, it looks like you already have cable, Internet, and home phone…”

    Me: “Yes, at my current home. I’m moving on October 11 to a new apartment. I want to get a package price and see if I can set up service.”

    Representative: “Oh! Yes, I can help you with that. What is the apartment address?”

    Me: *gives address*

    Representative: *typing* “It looks like someone is currently living there…”

    Me: “…”

    Social Insecurity Number

    | New Zealand | Technology

    (I work at a phone centre for the New Zealand Tax Service (IRD), taking inbound calls for people who want to apply for a tax number.)

    Me: *over the phone* “Have you got all the documentation along with the ID required?”

    Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, I do. How safe is this IRD number? Is this similar to our Social Security number?”

    Me: “Not quite. These numbers are safe.”

    My Internet Has Gone All Adava Kedavra

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Employees, Geeks Rule, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I recently moved across the country from California to New York. I’ve filed a move request with my ISP but don’t have an Internet connection when I arrive in my new apartment, so I call them up to try to resolve this. After giving them all my information, they explain the problem.)

    Customer Service #1: “Okay, so I’m looking at your order here. I see that two weeks ago you opened a new account with us.”

    Me: “Well, I moved. Does that count as a new account?”

    Customer Service #1: “Well, you can process it like that, or just as a move. It’s up to you.”

    Me: “I don’t care how it’s done; I just want to get online in my new apartment.”

    Customer Service #1: “You should be online as of yesterday. Have you tried restarting your router?”

    Me: “Yes, and my computer. There’s no connection.”

    Customer Service #1: “Well, something MUST be wrong on your end, because I see here that we started Internet service at [California address] yesterday.”

    Me: “No, that’s my OLD address. I don’t live there any more.”

    Customer Service #1: “Uhh… hold on.”

    Customer Service #2: “Hello, my name is [Name]. Unfortunately, ma’am, we can’t turn your Internet service on at [California address] because you have yet to pass a credit check.”

    Me: “Huh? I already passed that when I first got my connection, and I don’t live there anymore!”

    Customer Service #2: “It doesn’t matter if you don’t live there. You still need to pass the check.”

    Me: “I’m trying to add service at [New York address], not [California address].”

    Customer Service #2: “Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you with that. Please hold.”

    Customer Service #3: “Hi, my name is [Name]. I’m sorry, but I’m a bit confused. Why are you opening a second account if you already have an account?”

    Me: “I’m not! I’m moving from [California address] to [New York address]. Something went wrong when I filed the move request.”

    Customer Service #3: “Something sure DID go wrong! Okay, I’ve put an order in to move your old account to your new address. We have to deal with this new order someone put in place.”

    Me: “Okay. Can we just cancel it?”

    Customer Service #3: “Hmm… no, I can’t cancel it because the credit check is still pending. You know what though? I can resolve this.” *I hear her typing for a few seconds* “There we go. I can’t cancel it, but I’m allowed to update it. Let’s see if they pass a credit check for Mr. Lord Voldemort, with no social security number, at address #1 Please Cancel This Order Road.”

    (My Internet turns on soon, and I don’t hear any more of the issue for a few days until I get a phone call asking me to rate my customer service interaction.)

    Phone Robot: “Thank you for taking the time to fill out this survey. Please press ‘1’ if I am speaking to: LORD VOLDEMORT.”

    About To Go Bananas Over The Chocolate

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (I work in a call center. We are allowed to eat at our desks so long as it is a snack, not a meal, and it cannot be during a call. We have some down time so I pull out a snack and shortly after my supervisor walks by. I’ve been trying to snack more healthy, but tend to have a serious sweet tooth.)

    Supervisor: “Are you really just hanging out eating a banana?”

    Me: “No. I am hanging out eating a banana and chocolate chips so that it’s like I am eating a chocolate covered banana.”

    Supervisor: “…That is such genius that I can’t even say anything about it.”

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