(I’m on the phone with a caller, who is canceling his insurance policy mid-term.)

Me: “Per your request, your policy has been canceled. You’ll receive a pro-rated refund of [amount].”

Caller: “That’s not right; you owe me about $50 more than that!”

Me: “As we discussed earlier, in your situation there’s a $50 cancel fee applied.”

Caller: “It’s ridiculous to charge someone to cancel their insurance policy! I co-own a multi-million dollar telecommunications company, and we certainly don’t treat our customers like that! I’ll tell everyone I know how poorly you treated me!”

Me: “May I ask what penalties apply when your customers cancel contracts mid-term?”

Caller: *click*

(A newly-hired operator is on her first call and is nervous to the point of stuttering. I’m there to watch and help her if she gets stuck.)

New Girl: “[Health care company], th-this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling to check if you guys gave me the payment for a trip to the hospital I recently had. Your website seems to be down and I only got out of the hospital yesterday, so I can’t check that.”

New Girl: “Of-of course, sir! Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: *gives his name*

(The new girl starts to type, but is visibly stressed and misspells his name several times. Each time, it gives her an error and requires her to ask the caller his name again. After a few tries, she starts to lose control.)

New Girl: “I-I-I’m sorry sir, I can’t find you in the system. M-Maybe you did a wrong num—”

Caller: “First day, huh?”

New Girl: “Y-yes!”

Caller: “Okay, so in the case you don’t find someone with their full name or if the software shoves an error in your face, you ask for the last name and THEN the birthdate. And if that fails too, you ask for the social security number. How about we try that? I’m born on [date].”

New Girl: “Y-yes!”

Caller: “Okay. Now, when you opened the dossier, you go in the…”

(I sit slack-jawed during the whole call as the caller not only does not raise his voice during the whole call, but also guides perfectly the girl through the software, explaining her various tips and policies at the same time. At the end of the call, I can’t stand it anymore and take the call.)

Me: “Sir, forgive my rudeness, but HOW on Earth do you know our tools and policies so well?!”

Caller: “Check my dossier; you’ll see.”

(When I take a better look at his dossier, I stand flabbergasted for a few seconds since this particular caller appears to work in our company, in another call center, for FAR longer than me.)

Me: “Well, that explains everything.”

Caller: “Indeed it does. You take care now, guys! And good luck, [New Girl]! Tell you what: as soon as I go back to work, I’ll send you a few tricks by mail, okay? See ya!”

(He then hangs up. The kicker? A few days later, he indeed sent the new girl an e-mail full of tips and tricks to help her start!)

(Note: there are a series of telephone scams going around at the moment, particularly involving PPI (payment protection insurance) from loans. I have one student loan, which has no PPI, and have never had anything else.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling about the loan you took out a while ago.”

Me: “Really? Which loan would that be?”

Caller: “Erm, the… uh… loan from [bank I've never used].”

Me: “Really? That’s interesting. Since you haven’t even asked my name, there is no way you can know if I do or do not have a loan. You’ve asked no security questions, so I’m not going to be stupid enough to give you any of my details, and I have never used that bank at all, so you definitely have no reason to call me. Do you understand that scams like this are illegal?”

Caller: “Er… sorry.” *click*

Related:
Its Curtains On This Scam, Part 2
Its Curtains On This Scam

Phone Rep: “Good afternoon, may I speak to Guy Arseanault, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; you have the wrong number.”

Phone Rep: “I’m sorry about that, miss. Have a good evening.”

(A week later, the same phone rep calls again.)

Phone Rep: “Good afternoon, may I speak to Guy Arseanault, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; there’s no one here by that name.”

Phone Rep: “I’m so sorry, miss. Have a good evening.”

(A few days later…)

Phone Rep: “Good afternoon, may I please speak with Guy Arseanault?”

Me: “I’m sorry; there’s no one here by that name. I believe you have the wrong number.”

Phone Rep: “Well, I’m sorry, miss. Have a good evening.”

(This goes on several nights a week for at least six weeks, where I have the same conversation with the same guy. One day, my girlfriend and I have just had a fight, and I’m not in the mood for this game when he calls again.)

Phone Rep: “Good afternoon, may I speak to Guy Arseanault, please?”

Me: “Okay, look, dude: there is no Guy Aresenault living here! I keep telling you this: there is no Guy Aresenault. There are no ‘guys’ here, period! No guys at all—just lesbians. My girlfriend, my self, our neighbours and their roommate, are all lesbians. Seriously, man, you’re killing me here. No Guy. Just lesbians. Lots of lesbians…”

Phone Rep: “…Wow. Hey, can I come live with you?”

(I wasn’t expecting his response, so I break out in uncontrollable laughter before answering him.)

Me: “Oh man, you’re too funny! I’m so sorry for that, but seriously.”

Phone Rep: “Alright, I get it. I’ll have your number taken off the list. I’m sorry for this. That was priceless, though. Have a good night, miss!”

Me: “It’s all good! Thanks and have a good night, too.”

(I never heard from him or heard the name Guy Arsenault again!)

(I have just had to take some last minute time off to care for my mother, who has just had some minor surgery. As it is last minute, I ask to have it taken out of paid holiday allowance.)

Manager: “I know you had to have some time off, and you asked to have this taken out of your holiday entitlement, but we have to say no.”

Me: “I understand; it’s fine. It was last minute, so can it just go down as unpaid leave? I really don’t want to have it go down as sickness.”

Manager: “Don’t worry. It wont go down as sickness, and you’re being paid for it.”

Me: “Okay, that’s gre—sorry, what?”

Manager: “You’re being paid for it; don’t worry about it. You’re a valued member of the department and the company. Also, if you need to take any other time off, just let us know. And if there is anything we can do to help you, just let us know.”

(I have never had a company look after their employees like this. Working for a small but growing company has its advantages. This just shows how GOOD some companies and managers can be!)