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    Your Days At This Company Are Numbered

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “May I please have your employee ID?”

    Caller: *sounding really confused* “Uh, um, wait, you need my employee ID?”

    Me: “Yes, I need your employee ID in order to pull up your file.”

    Caller: *pause* “I’m not understanding what you’re asking for here.”

    Me: *pausing, trying to think of a clearer way of wording it and failing* “Can I get your employee ID?”

    Caller: “Uh, um, I have my employee ID badge here, but how would I be able to show you that over the phone?”

    Me: *literally smacking my forehead* “You can tell me what the actual numbers are for your employee ID?”

    Caller: “OH! You need my employee ID number!”

    Email Fail, Part 5

    , | Puyallup, WA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I have just booked a hotel for my brother but accidentally put in the incorrect email address. I now need to cancel the booking and call the website’s customer service department to help me with it.)

    Me: “Hi,yes, I booked a hotel for my brother and it needs to be canceled, but the email I entered is incorrect. Can I please cancel the request with you?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Sure. What was the email that you entered the confirmation under?”

    Me: “That’s the thing. It was a typo error. I never got a confirmation email because I typed in the email incorrectly. It’s off by a letter. Is there any other way to look up the reservation?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Sure, what’s the phone number?”

    (I give them the phone number I reserved the room with.)

    Customer Service Rep: “I’m sorry but I can’t find it under that phone number. Do you have the email address?”

    Me: “Again, I don’t know what the email address is under as I typed it incorrectly. Can you look it up by name?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Sure. We can try that. What’s the name?”

    (I give my brother’s name.)

    Customer Service Rep: “I’m still unable to find the reservation. Do you know the email address? I can find it using that.”

    Me: *getting frustrated* “Again, I don’t know what the email address is under as I spelled it out wrong. The hotel is [Name] hotel in Portland. You don’t see anything under the hotel?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh, here it is. And you said you want to cancel this reservation?”

    Me: “Yes. The trip was canceled and we won’t be needing the hotel anymore. Can I please have a confirmation sent to a different email address?”

    Customer Service Rep: “We can email the canceled reservation to the address we have on file.”

    Me: “As I’ve said before… that email address is wrong. If you send the confirmation to that email address I will not receive it as that email does not exist!”

    Customer Service Rep: “Okay. We should probably update that email address. What’s the new email address?”

    (I give her the correct email address.)

    Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I’ve updated the email address. Is there anything further I can help you with?”

    Me: “So you have canceled the reservation and will email the new address?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Yes. The reservation has been canceled and an email will be sent to—” *rattles off old email address*

    Me: “Wait… No. I need the confirmation sent to the new email address I just gave you. ” *gives new email address*

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh, okay. It’ll be sent to [new email address].”

    Me: “Yes, to [new email address]. Can you send it now so I can confirm we get the cancellation confirmation?”

    Customer Service Rep: “Sure.”

    (We wait for confirmation. After about three minutes, we don’t get anything.)

    Me: “We haven’t gotten a confirmation.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Well, I show it was sent to [old email address]. Are you sure that’s correct?”

    Me: “NO! That’s the OLD address! I need the confirmation sent to the NEW email address of [new email address]!”

    Customer Service Rep: “Oh,okay. I’ve sent a new confirmation.”

    (Now my brother calls out from the other room saying he got the confirmation.)

    Me: “Thank you. We received the confirmation.”

    Customer Service Rep: “Was there anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “Good god, no!” *hangs up*

    (Overall, the call took about 45 minutes. Lesson learned… DOUBLE CHECK YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!)

    Email Fail, Part 4
    Email Fail, Part 3
    Email Fail, Part 2

    Ponying Up To Their Demands

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (One of my coworkers and I get along well and often share when customers make crazy demands. However we have taken to doing this in a rather unusual way:)

    Coworker: “Dang it.” *getting up to speak to a manager*

    Me: “What? Do they want a pink pony?”

    Coworker: “A pink pony that flies!”

    Me: “Did you offer them a purple pony with a horn?”

    Coworker: “Yes, but they only want a pink pony that flies. No horns.”

    Me: “Ouch.”

    (A short time later it’s my turn to get up.)

    Coworker: “Pink pony?”

    Me: “No, just a beige pony, but they want three of them. I just really don’t think they’ll get ’em.”

    You Have And Don’t Have Mail

    , | Germany | Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    (I’m awaiting a parcel and usually, when I’m not home, I will just have to pick them up at a nearby store. However, this time it is returned to sender, so I call the delivery company.)

    Me: “Hi, I just wanted to ask you to send me my parcel again.”

    Call-Centre Agent: “Okay, why did you not receive it the first time?”

    Me: “Honestly, I’m not quite sure. I just got a note saying you neither found my doorbell nor my mailbox, so it was sent back.”

    Call-Centre Agent: “Okay, so what’s so weird about that note? Maybe you—”

    Me: “Let me stop you there. I found this note in my mailbox. Which you can only reach if you rang the doorbell first.”

    Call-Centre Agent: “…I have NO idea how they managed to mess that up. I’ll order your parcel to be sent again.”

    Should Have Said Zip About The Zip

    , | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Major Satellite TV Provider]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name and the zip code on your account, please.”

    Caller: *provides those things*

    (I type them into the computer and wait for the result. The customer is chatting away while we wait and mentions that they’ve recently moved. I tell them:)

    Me: “You’d not believe how many people give us their new zip code when they’ve not updated it in our files yet, as if our records spontaneously update when someone moves.” *chuckle* “My search comes up with zero results for the last name and zip code you’ve given me… and you’ve given me your new zip code and not the one that I have on file, haven’t you?…”

    (They at least had the grace to sound apologetic.)

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