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  • Not So Smart Phone, Part 8

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hi there. I lost my phone earlier today. I’d like to place a block on it in case someone tries to use it. Is that possible?”

    Helpline Rep: “Certainly, and I’m sorry to hear that you no longer have your phone. Was it stolen?”

    Me: “I don’t think so. I think it fell out of my bag. I’d like to block it just in case whoever finds it tries to use it, since I genuinely don’t know where it might be.”

    Helpline Rep: “Okay. Is it the number you are calling from now?”

    Me: “… No?”

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 4
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 3

    Putting The ‘Super’ Into Supervisor

    | OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I work in a call center for a major satellite TV provider. I am handling a billing issue for a customer who gets pissed off and demands a supervisor. My supervisor really, REALLY hates taking calls so I make d*** sure to do anything I can to take care of the customers issue, but the customer refuses my assistance. Unfortunately I only get to hear one end of the call.)

    Supervisor: “Hello. I have your account information pulled up. What charges are you disputing?”

    Supervisor: “No, those charges were already reversed.”

    Supervisor: “Well, my employee already offered you that, but you declined, and I’m not extending the same offer.”

    Supervisor: “Sure, I can save you some money.” *clickety-tap* “Your account is now disconnected. Thank you.” *hangs up*

    Relentless Puffs Of Irony

    | Italy | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (I have been working for a week in a call center. The place is a shoddy apartment with two rooms and a bathroom. The walls are yellowed and the stench of stale smoke lingers everywhere. Of the two rooms, one is for non-smokers but it makes very little difference as the windows are never opened.)

    Me: “[Boss], I won’t be coming in to work anymore.”

    Boss: *smoking* “Why?”

    Me: “Er, I’m quitting. I found a job with another company.”

    Boss: “What company? Another call center?”

    Me: “No, they paint industrial machinery. I’ve been hired as a lab technician.”

    Boss: *puffing smoke right into my face* “Oh, well. If you want to leave, then go. But you’re going to get cancer in there.”

    Don’t Know Maria From Adam

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (A coworker from a different department calls through on behalf of a customer.)

    Me: “How can I help today?”

    Coworker: “Yes. Could you please cancel the policy for Maria.”

    Me: “Do you have a policy number or last name so I can search it?”

    Coworker: “No, I don’t! Why can’t you just search her name?!”

    Me: “We’ll there are literally hundreds or Maria’s with policies. Do you have an address so I could narrow it down?”

    Coworker: “No, I already told you! God, you are so incompetent! Why do you have to make this so difficult?”

    Me: “Well, to be honest, all you’ve given me is a name. How do you expect me to find her within the hundreds of Marias that have insurance with this company?”

    Coworker: “Never mind! Thanks for NOT helping!”

    Me: “No problem…”

    Hooray For Mr. Gay

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (A customer with the last name ‘Gay’ pops on my screen as I receive his call.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

    (As the customer asks questions about his bill and I answer, my obnoxious coworker looks over at the name on my screen.)

    Coworker: “How can we help you today, Mr. Gay? You want to pay? What do you say? Yay or nay?”

    (I give coworker a sign to shut up and continue the conversation until the caller is clear about his bill.)

    Me: “Is there anything else we can do for you today, sir?”

    Caller: “Fire that guy with the big mouth!”

    Me: “Uh… Yes, sir.”

    (When I told my coworker that Mr. Gay heard him his face turned red and he made it a point to keep his mouth in check from then on. It was the only time that day a customer WAS right.)


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