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    Just Called To Say We Called

    , | Vitória, ES, Brazil | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My cellphone provider used to call me several times a day to offer their ‘awesome’ services. I got fed up and told them to stop. It took a while and I had to involve the regulatory agency.)

    (Phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Telemarketer: “Hi! It’s [Telemarketer] from [Provider]…”

    Me: “I asked to be let out of your call list.”

    Telemarketer: “Yes! We are calling to ask you to get back to our offer service!”

    Me: “…?”

    Telemarketer: “You’ll never miss an amazing offer ever again!”

    Me: “…am I supposed to be laughing?”

    (I’m still trying to get them to stop.)

    Geography Skills Suffering From A Tokyo Drift

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money, Tourists & Travel

    (I’ve somehow ended up on ‘high security’ from my credit card company. As such, even though the card I carry is meant specifically for people who travel abroad frequently, I have to call in and let them know when I’m going abroad so my card will work outside of the US. I call to tell them about an upcoming trip.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I will be traveling abroad soon, and I need my card to work while traveling.”

    Representative: “We can certainly put a travel notation on your account, and your card will work in your destination. Where will you be traveling?”

    Me: “My final destination is China, but I will be transiting through Tokyo and Hong Kong on my way there. Can you set it up so that my card will work in Tokyo, Hong Kong, and mainland China during [dates]?”

    Representative: “Certainly. Please hold momentarily.” *comes back after a minute* “You’re all set for your trip.”

    (A week later in Narita airport…)

    Cashier At Restaurant: “I’m sorry, ma’am, your card was declined.”

    (Fortunately she was nice enough to let me go to an ATM and withdraw funds from my work card to pay the bill. Upon returning home, I call my bank again…)

    Me: “Yes, I called before my latest trip and specifically asked that my card be available for use in Tokyo, Hong Kong, and China. However, my card was declined in Tokyo, and the only reason I can figure is that you failed to allow use of my card in Japan. I’m not extremely upset, but I’d like to know what I can do to make sure my card works when I travel in the future.”

    Representative: “Let me check the notes… Oh. Oh, Oh… I’m so, so sorry. It appears that the previous rep didn’t understand your travel information, and left a… uh… rather unsavory note about it.”

    Me: “Are you joking? This card is for people who TRAVEL! What did she say in the note? I need a good laugh.”

    Representative: “Before I say this, I want your permission and acknowledgement that you will not hold me responsible for coarse language.”

    Me: *now chuckling* “Go ahead. I won’t be offended, and I promise you are in the clear, no matter what you say.”

    Representative: “She wrote, ‘This dumb b**** made up countries called ‘Tokyo’ and ‘Hong Kong.’ Card has been activated for use in China. Fraud alert level has been increased for any other foreign use.’ It also appears from this that your card wouldn’t have worked in Hong Kong, since our system recognizes that separately from mainland China, but if she so much as started to type Hong Kong, it would have come up… Did you also have problems in Hong Kong?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t try to use my card there since I was only in that airport for a few minutes before traveling on. Thanks for the laugh. Buy that ‘b****’ a map, would you?”

    Representative: “We have noted your comment, and I’m sure the issue will be dealt with promptly.”

    (And I now make sure to name the *country* every time I call in. Silly me for thinking that most people would know Tokyo is in Japan and that Hong Kong is a real place…or ask if they didn’t.)

    Needs A New Motherboard

    | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Technology

    (Part of our job as a help desk agent is, unfortunately, having to set up new users in a few programs. One program in particular only allows one session, so oftentimes, we end up getting kicked out by each other. I happen to witness this exchange.)

    Coworker: “Anyone in [Program]?”

    Team Leader: “I think your mom was.”

    When New Hires Become New Fires

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Bad Behavior, New Hires

    (We have a group of new hires coming into our call center who are a bit overdressed for the positions they have been hired for. I have been at this job for two years, and am at work wearing a shirt and jeans, sneakers, etc. I run into two of the new hires in the break room.)

    New Hire #1: “Man, would you look at that.” *points towards me as I make coffee*

    New Hire #2: “Yeah, what the h***, man? How’d he even get an interview?”

    (I realize that they think I am a new hire like them, and finish making my coffee while they speak about me like I’m not here.)

    Me: *turning to them* “I got my interview three years ago, and I blew them out of the water. Good luck making your 90 days with an attitude like that.”

    (I walked past them, coffee in hand. I didn’t expect either one to last longer than a month.)

    Doesn’t Subscribe To Your Way Of Thinking

    | USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My company provides trade magazines for a small subscription fee. They have started trying to sell them to people who sign up for the website my division runs. I and all of my employees are of course members of the website ourselves.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [my division]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi. I’m [Caller], and I’d like to talk to you about a subscription to [Magazine]! It gives you all the latest news on [industry].”

    Me: “Hi! I actually work for [Corporate Parent] which publishes that magazine. My office gets three complimentary copies each month. Can you do me a favor and pull our number out of your list?”

    Caller: “But the subscription also comes with free access to our website, with up to the minute news!”

    Me: “I know. I already have access to the website.”

    Caller: “You can’t have access without a subscription, and I show you as not having a subscription. If you sign up I can set you up with access today!”

    Me: “I don’t think you’re getting it. I work for the company that publishes the magazine. I have the latest issue in my hand right now.”

    (Confused silence.)

    Me: “I work for the company who is paying you to make this call.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    Me: “Please take my number off the list?”

    Caller: “Okay, then!”

    (Three of my division’s staff got the same pitch that week. I got the same call again from a different rep the next day. It happened for two months, even after I called the project lead who’d farmed the project out to the call center, and informed her she forgot to remove her own coworkers from the list!)


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