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    What A Bunch Of A55H0L35

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My coworkers and I are in a week long training session on a new client. One of my coworkers is notoriously ditzy, and is having problems with a couple of programs. Our trainer tells her to submit a help desk ticket to get the problem resolved during our afternoon break.)

    Coworker: “Okay, guys. How do I do this?”

    Me: “You just go to [program] and fill out a ticket with what issue you’re having.”

    Coworker: “That’s it?”

    (One of my other coworkers, a known techie, pipes up.)

    Techie: “Well, you should include a ‘tech code’. That way IT will know what you’re talking about. It’s a computer thing.”

    (At this point there’s just a few of us in the room and he shoots us all a look to tell us that he’s pulling her leg while she’s not looking. So, we all play along.)

    Me: “Oh, yah. That’s right, I always forget. What code should she use, [Techie]?”

    Techie: “Type 1MAT007.” *tech speak for ‘I’m a Tool’*

    Coworker: “Awesome, thanks!”

    (She filled out the form and submitted it. Not ten minutes later we can hear the IT guy laughing all the way down the hall as he walks over to our training room.)

    IT Guy: “So, you’re a tool?”

    Coworker: “I’m a what?”

    (We all burst out laughing. She didn’t get it and kept asking us, ‘What? What are you guys laughing at?’. The next day she came in and went right up to our techie.)

    Coworker: “I looked up ‘tool’ on the Internet and I AM NOT A GULLIBLE OR EASILY MANIPULATED PERSON!”

    Praying For Some Common Sense

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Bosses & Owners, Religion

    (I work for a market research company, where we called people and conduct surveys about various products, business concerns, or political issues. I have been promoted from dialing surveys to training supervisor, where I train new hires how to use our computer system to correctly conduct surveys. I am giving my introductory spiel about the company.)

    Me: “We here at [Company] are a very diverse company, welcoming people from all races, backgrounds, countries, faiths, sexual preferences, etcetera. It is important for you to know that you are supported here. I am aware that people of Islamic faith may need special prayer time that falls outside the prescribed 15 minute break and may also prefer privacy for this. Please don’t hesitate to approach your supervisor and let them know you need to pray. We have an equipment room in the back with enough room for you to pray as you need. I’ll show you when we tour the main office and dialing floor. If for some reason your supervisor does not authorize you to go pray, please come find me on the floor or in the training room and I will make sure you are excused so you may go pray. We don’t want anyone to feel discriminated against for any reason.”

    (Everything seems fine until several days later, when the operations manager, floor manager, and main office manager call me into a meeting.)

    Main Manager: “The reason we asked you in here today, [My Name], is because we’ve received a very disturbing report about you.”

    Me: “What?! What disturbing report?”

    Main Manager: “One of your trainees said you were calling unfair attention to Muslim people and felt it was discriminatory.”

    Ops Manager: “I didn’t want to believe that about you but then I sat in on your orientation and you talked about Muslims and prayer time.”

    Main Manager: “Yes. We have you on tape saying those things, so unfortunately we’re going to have to fire you.”

    Me: “Fire me?! For WHAT?”

    Main Manager: “Racism.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Main Manager: “Yes. The trainee felt you were deliberately pointing out who the Muslim students were and felt very uncomfortable about it and felt it was racist of you to do so. We have agreed with them. Please sign this dismissal agreement.”

    (Pushes a dismissal paper towards me where I’m to acknowledge by signing that I’m being fired and why and that I would not be allowed to collect any unemployment benefits because of this. I’m so floored by all of this that I mutely sign, as it’s clear they won’t listen to me. Then they try to hurriedly hush me up and shove me out of the office. They allow me to get my things from my locker but I am forbidden to talk to anyone on my way out. I manage to tell one fellow trainer before I’m shut up and she’s shocked and dumbfounded as well, but they stop me again and make sure I get my things and leave the office. I’m left in the hallway by the elevator, just me and the Ops Manager.)

    Ops Manager: “I’m sorry it happened this way. You were really very good and I know your trainees and coworkers really liked you. I did, too. If you need a reference letter, I’ll be glad to write you a good one.”

    Me: *crying* “N-No, that’s o-o-okay. I just—”

    (The elevator arrives.)

    Ops Manager: “I’m sorry about this. You take care, okay? *pointedly waits for me to get into the elevator*

    (I was so confused and traumatised by this, having worked for this company for six years and caused little trouble, that I didn’t pursue the issue legally in any way. I also didn’t take the Ops Manager up on his offer of a referral letter, considering what he just participated in against me. I DID make my case to the Unemployment Agency and they saw fit to authorize me to draw unemployment until I could get a new job.)

    Selling The Same Old Story

    | USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Theme Of The Month

    (I am 19 years old and keep getting junk mail from a certain organization that caters to people over 60. I call them to have them take me off their mailing list.)

    Me: “Hello. I’d like to be taken off of your mailing list.”

    Employee: “Oh, but have you heard about the benefits of being a member of [Organization]?”

    Me: “That’s nice but—”

    Employee: “You can get discounts on health care, on food, even on certain specialty cell phone plans!”

    Me: “Yes, I understand but—”

    Employee: “It’s all very important for a senior citizen living in this economy!”

    Me: “Okay—”

    Employee: “So, when would you like to start?”

    Me: “In about 40 years. I’m 19.”

    Employee: “…”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Employee: “I’ll take you off the mailing list right away.”

    The Call With No Name

    | Örebro, Sweden | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (I work in customer service and take calls to schedule house inspections.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Business]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *in very thick accent* “Yes, hello? I got a letter from you to book an appointment.”

    Me: “Of course. Can you give me the six-digit number on that letter, please?”

    Caller: “No, no number.”

    Me: “It should be right on the letter you received, right above our phone number.”

    Caller: “No, no number.”

    Me: “No problem. May I have your address instead, please?”

    Caller: “Uhm, address… It’s in [City].”

    Me: “All right, and on which street?”

    Caller: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Which address do you live on?”

    Caller: “No address.”

    Me: “Perhaps I can try your name instead?”

    Caller: “I don’t know name.”

    Me: *very clearly* “What is your name?”

    Caller: “I don’t know what my name is.”

    Me: *very confused now* “Excuse me, but I have to have some information from you to be able to find you in the system or make the appointment. Your name, your address, or your phone number?”

    Caller: “Yes, yes, I understand, but I don’t know my name.”

    Me: “I… I’m sorry… how can you not know your name?”

    (The caller suddenly starts laughing hysterically.)

    Caller: “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore! It’s [Colleague]. Wow, you have the most amazing patience! I’m stuck on the freeway and will be about 10 minutes late. Can you please tell [Boss] for me?”

    (The reason I never realized this was a fake call was because, sadly, it was not even close to the weirdest calls I’ve had.)

    Getting Out-sourced

    | FL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I work for a call center that hosts conference calls for other organizations. I recently came out to my supervisor after we ran into each other at a gay pride event. I told him that I really didn’t want anyone else at work to know, as I’m a fairly private person. He told me he completely understood. A few weeks later I am in a meeting with my supervisor, his boss, and my entire team.)

    Supervisor’s Boss: “We have a new client coming aboard who is an LGBT rights organization. They said they’d prefer a facilitator who is LGBT. It’s not my business to get into anyone’s personal lives, but if anyone would like to take these calls you can sign up for them discretely.”

    Supervisor: *excitedly* “Ooh, [My Name]! That sounds perfect for you! You should sign up for those calls!”

    Me: *sheepishly* “Yeah, thanks.”

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