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  • Baptism By Fired
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  • Doesn’t Take Military Intelligence To Understand

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (My husband is in the army, and we have to break our lease because he has received orders for overseas. When we move out of our apartment, we are told it is in fantastic condition, and we shouldn’t owe them any money. A few months later, we receive a bill from them, stating that we owe them nearly $1000, because they had to paint the walls, replace the carpets, and replace the blinds. After months of fighting with them, and them constantly changing what the charges are for, it goes into collections. I receive a phone call from them while we are overseas.)

    Bill Collector: “Hello, I need to speak to Mr. [Name].”

    Me: “This is his wife; he’s not available. May I ask what this is regarding?”

    Bill Collector: “Yes, [apartment complex] has stated that since you broke your lease, you have to pay this amount.”

    Me: “It says it was because of a broken lease? That’s not what my original paperwork says.”

    Bill Collector: “Yes, my records state that you and your husband still had nearly a year left on your lease and you broke it.”

    Me: “Yes, we broke our lease, because my husband received orders for overseas.”

    Bill Collector: “So you admit you broke your lease. That means you owe this amount.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, there’s a clause for military. They received a copy of our orders prior to us leaving; therefore if your records state that we owe them because we broke our lease, then we owe nothing.”

    Bill Collector: “If you broke your lease, you have to pay.”

    Me: “No, we don’t. Military clause.”

    Bill Collector: “Well, the orders weren’t for you; they were just for your husband, weren’t they?”

    Me: “No, my name was on them too.”

    Bill Collector: *sarcastically* “But you didn’t have to go. Only he had to go. You could have stayed in the apartment until the lease was up.”

    Me: “Are you kidding me? You’re not getting a dime from us. Don’t bother calling here again.”

    (I hung up on her. Eventually, I spoke to someone different at the collection agency, explained the situation, and they dropped the charges completely, without it affecting our credit.)

    It Will Forever Be A Mister-ey

    | DC, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (A customer service agent is sending an email to another department for me. He is extremely slow and quite obviously an elderly man with poor hearing. My lunch break is almost over, so my patience is admittedly growing thin. I am a 31-year-old man.)

    Agent: “Okay, so I am… writing him… an e-mail… for you. It says… ‘Ms. Smith called and—”

    Me: “Mister.”

    Agent: “Oh, uh, yes?”

    Me: “Mister.”

    Agent: “Yes, what can I do for you?”

    Me: “No, it’s ‘Mister.’”

    Agent: “Oh, you can just call me [Name].”

    Me: “No, I’m not calling YOU ‘Mister.’ It’s ‘Mr. Smith.’”

    Agent: “Right, ‘Ms. Smith called and’—”

    Me: “No, it’s ‘MR. SMITH called,’ not ‘MS. SMITH called.’”

    Agent: “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Smith—I mean, Mr. Smith. Should I call you Mr. Smith?”

    Me: “Just fix the e-mail please.”

    Agent: “Okay so it goes ‘Ms. Smith called and’, oh wait, I should probably change that to Mr. Smith, shouldn’t I?”

    Doing Irreparable Damage

    | ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Top

    (My cell phone’s ear piece has stopped working. I take it to a kiosk for the company, where they proclaim it broken, and tell me the free way to exchange it. Later, I get a $100 warranty charge on my bill.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling about the $100 charge on my bill? I was told there was no charge if I returned the phone.”

    Representative: “Well, our records indicate that we never got the phone.”

    Me: “Really? Because I used the packaging and shipping label you sent me, and shipped it back within the week.”

    Representative: “Oh, wait, the warehouse did get it. But there was no damage, so we charged you.”

    Me: “The ear piece was broken. I couldn’t use it as a phone! And a rep at one of your kiosks told me it was broken!”

    Representative: “Oh, wait, there was damage. And that’s why we charged you.”

    Me: “Wait, so the kiosk lied? I was told that as long as I returned the phone, there was no fee. They told me about the exchange, and that my phone was qualified for it. And if the exchange doesn’t work for phones with damage, and it doesn’t work for phones without damage, how do you qualify!?”

    Representative: “…a $100 credit will be applied to your account.”

    Must Have Dismissed Thinking It Through

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners

    (I work for a small call center and my boss has been trying to get rid of me for months. She is trying everything in the book to fire me without having to pay severance. I have just come in after a smoke break and she orders me into her office.)

    Boss: “Pack your bags; you are fired.”

    Me: “What? Why?”

    Boss: “You threatened my manager with your fist, and now she is afraid of you. She has asked me to fire you, so leave.”

    Me: “When did I do these things you are accusing me of?”

    Boss: “Five minutes ago!”

    Me: “I was outside having a break!”

    Boss: “No, I saw the whole thing. Now leave, or I will call the police!”

    (I stand up and walk to the door and call the manager into the boss’ office.)

    Me: *to the manager* “Did I threaten you just now?”

    Manager: “Huh? Of course not!”

    Me: “Did I wave my fist at you? Are you scared, and so you want me gone?”

    Manager: “Uh no? That’s ridiculous!”

    (I turn back to the boss who is red in the face.)

    Me: “Do you know what wrongful dismissal means?”

    Boss: “Get back to work.”

    (I am still there. The boss has given up, and does not even talk to me anymore—which is fine by me!)

    The Long Way Round To The Wrong Way Round

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (I work in a more specialized department, and customer service transfers a lot of calls they can’t handle to various departments.)

    Customer Service: “One of our customers has [issue].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but here in [my department] we can’t help with that; you need to call [other department].”

    Customer Service: “I tried calling them, but they were too busy. I was waiting on hold for a long time.”

    Me: “I still can’t help them. We don’t have the entitlements on our computers needed to fix that.”

    Customer Service: “Can’t you do something?”

    Me: “We don’t have a direct line to [other department], so I’d actually have to transfer them back to your department.”

    Customer Service: “Could you tell them that?”

    Me: “Do you want to transfer the call to the wrong department so we can tell them that they’ve been transferred to the wrong department?”

    Customer Service: “Yes.”

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