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    Driving Home The Sale

    | McKinney, TX, USA | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Money, Transportation

    (I am in the market for a used car. I find a listing online for a two-year-old RX-8 I like that’s at a nearby dealer. My friend offers to help me negotiate. She used to work in the auto finance industry in another state as a funder, the person that the dealers call when someone is looking for a car loan. We do our homework on the car the night before. After test driving the car, we sit down at the salesman’s desk.)

    Friend: “We’re not going to sit here for hours while you try to beat us down. If we don’t have a deal in 15 minutes then we’re leaving. I’m starting the timer on my phone.”

    (My friend makes a show of starting the timer and setting the phone on his desk.)

    Salesman: *feigning enthusiasm* “That’s great! No problem at all! Let me go get the paperwork.”

    (He leaves for a few minutes. While he’s gone, one of his fellow salespeople the next desk over chats us up.)

    Other Salesperson: “That’s a really cool car. I have someone coming to look at it tomorrow.”

    (We know from our research that the car has been on the lot for over six weeks already. So that story is probably just a line they use to help each other out. The salesman returns.)

    Salesman: “I have good news and I have great news. The good news is that the car is still available. The great news is that I can let you have it for [asking price]!”

    Friend: “Are you kidding me?!”

    (I’m bright enough to keep quiet and let her have at him.)

    Friend: “There’s no way he’s paying that price. We looked it up last night and we know that that car should be going for [about 15 percent less].”

    Salesman: “Well, here’s our paperwork that shows how much we gave her for the car when it was traded in. It belonged to a former employee, and it was her baby. She took such great care of the car. As you can see, we’re already losing money on it.”

    Friend: “I don’t care what you’ve put into the car. That was your fault for paying that much. I’m looking at what the car is worth today.”

    (My friend pulls out some printouts from web pages we had researched it on.)

    Friend: “Here’s Kelly Blue Book, and they say it’s worth [price].”

    Salesman: “Well, none of the dealerships really go by Blue Book.”

    Friend: “Fine. Here’s Black Book. And here’s Edmund’s. Which would you like to use? They’re all saying about the same thing.”

    (One of the nearby salespeople has bolted to get the sales manager while this is going on. Less than three minutes into the conversation, the sales manager swoops in and kicks the salesman out of his chair.)

    Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. What will it take to make this deal?”

    Friend: “My friend has already got his financing set up with his bank. He’s willing to give you a fair price on the car. But he’s not going to get reamed on that price just because you gave a good deal to a former employee.”

    Manager: “What rate did he get? What if I can beat it?”

    Friend: “We’re not going to sit here while you blast the deal out to 30 lenders.”

    Manager: “I’m not going to do that. I have one place in mind. What payment are you looking for?”

    (My friend nods to me, indicating that I’m allowed to speak.)

    Me: “My bank gave me [rate]. I’d like to keep the payment at [payment].”

    Manager: “I can work with that.”

    (The manager and the salesman leave. The salesperson at the next desk isn’t feeling so chatty anymore. A few minutes later the salesman comes back.)

    Salesman: *trying look upbeat* “The manager okayed the deal at 0.2 per cent lower, and that makes the payment what you are looking for.”

    (My friend picks up her phone and stops the timer. It shows 14:53.)

    Driving The Sale

    | DC, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Money

    (I work for an email and software company. My two bosses, a pair of stereotypical cowboys from Texas, ask me to go with them to the Ferrari dealership to help select new cars. They are sitting on the steps of the lot’s main building looking at the cars.)

    Boss #1: “Hey, [me], did you want a beer?”

    (They have brought a six-pack with them.)

    Me: “No, I am good, but that sales guy there is eyeing us.”

    Boss #2: “Bet he is going to steal a beer. So, which one of these is most expensive?”

    (I point out two Ferrari, one black and one red. At this point the sales rep comes up to them.)

    Sales Rep: “Gentlemen, may I ask you move on? You’re scaring the other customers!”

    Boss #2: *ignoring him* “[Boss #1], you want the red or black?”

    Boss #1: “You know what? I’ll get both. We can sort it out later.”

    (Boss #1 then hands a Platinum Amex card to the rep. He stands there, mouth agape for a few seconds.)

    Sales Rep: “Uh… right away, sir!”

    (A few minutes later they are both driving off in new Ferraris, and possibly still a tad tipsy!)

    These Sales Guys Are A Non-Starter

    | Colorado, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Transportation

    (I’m a female in my twenties. After having my car break down for the fourth time in the first year of owning it, I’m shopping for a replacement. I’ve done a great deal of research, and have narrowed it down to a few models. This is what happens at the first dealership I go to.)

    Me: “Um, hello?”

    Sales Guy: “Yeah?”

    Me: “I’d like to look at that 626 you have in your lot.”

    Sales Guy: “So go look at it.”

    Me: “Okay, when I say look at it, I mean I’d like to test drive it.”

    Sales Guy: *laughs* “I think that would be a waste of time.”

    Me: “I beg your pardon? Why is that?”

    Sales Guy: “Well, because you clearly aren’t going to buy a car.”

    Me: “…Well, not from you, not from here, not anymore. Guess this explains why I’m the only customer in here. Bye.”

    (Now this is what happens at the second dealership I go to.)

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Hi there! What can we find for you today?”

    Me: “I’m looking for a used Legacy or Impreza. Do you have either of those models?”

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Oh! Hey, sorry, I don’t think we do… not used. Let me show you this new [completely different make and model], though!”

    Me: “Ah, no, I’m sorry. I want a used car that’s affordable and has a proven consumer report record. I did a lot of homework on this, and I’m looking for a select few models. I have a list here.”

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Okay! Well, let’s go look around the used lot and see if anything there strikes your fancy.”

    (We look through the lot, but none of the cars I want are on it. I let him know that I don’t want to waste his time if there’s nothing from my list available.)

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Well, are you sure? This car is very pretty.”

    Me: “No, thanks. My last car was pretty. Didn’t keep it from being a lemon.”

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Well, hey, so what would it take to get you into a car today?”

    Me: “Having a car I wanted to buy would be a good start.”

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “But this car is so pretty!”

    Me: “No. I’m not looking for pretty.”

    Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “You should be!”

    Me: “I’m leaving now.”

    (It took two weeks, but I finally found a dealership that had what I wanted and didn’t talk down to me. My car has lasted me eight years with very few problems.)

    Kindsight Is 2×4

    | Tauranga, New Zealand | Bigotry, Employees, Transportation

    (I am a dairy farmer and have just finished work early so I can go to town to buy my new ute (pickup truck). Because of the rush, I am still a bit on the smelly side, but clean.)

    Me: “Hey, just wanting to look at a test drive of the new truck over there… the 2×4 diesel.”

    Salesman: “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”

    Me: “Excuse me? What do you mean, ‘your kind?’”

    Salesman: “Idiots like you that are just out for a joyride in a new car. Why don’t you get a job so you can afford to actually buy one?!”

    Me: “Well, if that is your attitude, I can take my business elsewhere…”

    (At this point, I leave the dealership, and head to another dealership across town where I test drove a new truck. SOLD, with my new wheels, I returned to the first dealer.)

    Me: “Big mistake on your part, sir. Looks like you missed a sale.”

    Salesman: *jaw drops*

    (The next day, I called up the owner of the first dealership and reported the salesman’s behaviour. Looks like this was a common occurrence, and the salesman was fired pretty quickly. Now, due to business increases, I buy from the first dealer, but I get a pretty little discount on all sales. Looks like rudeness does pay off in the end, just not for the rude person!)

    I Just Swan To Get Out Of Here

    | Bel Air, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (My car is in for service at its dealership, and I am waiting by the service desk to sign the paperwork to get it back.)

    Employee: “Oh! Oh! Oh! Is your name Bella?!”

    Me: “What?”

    Employee: “Bella! Like from Twilight! You know, Twilight, right? Your name matches!”

    (Note: my full name is not printed on the paperwork, only my first initial and my last name. While my initials match Bella’s, this is, in fact, not my name.)

    Me: “My name isn’t on the paper.”

    Employee: “Have you ever been to Washington?”

    Me: “I visited… once?”

    Employee: “Oh-em-gee! Bella’s real! I met Bella! Is Edward as dreamy in real life?”

    Me: “I… just… please let me sign for my car?”

    Employee: “Aw.”


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