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    Insanely Caffeinated

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bizarre/Silly

    (On the way into work I go to the local coffee shop for some coffee. The clerk behind the counter is friendly and efficient.)

    Clerk: “Can I get you anything else?”

    Me: “A large dose of sanity would be helpful.”

    Clerk: *without skipping a beat* “I’m sorry we do not keep that stocked behind the counter. All orders for sanity must be places at least 48 hours in advance.”

    Me: “Ugh, thanks. I will keep that in mind for future reference.”

    (Off I go. A few days later, I return to the same shop and the same woman is behind the counter.)

    Clerk: “Good morning. What can I get you today?”

    Me: “Did you get that order for sanity that I placed a few days ago?”

    Clerk: *again without missing a beat* “I am really sorry. I completely dropped the ball on that one.”

    Me: “Sigh. In that case I will have a large coffee.”

    Clerk: “Excellent substitute. I hope that you find some sanity.”

    Wrong Answer, Princess

    | UK | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My colleague is looking for iced tea but can’t appear to find any.)

    Colleague: “Do we have any peach?”

    Me: *unable to find any* “Looks like it’s in another castle.”

    Colleague: “What?”

    Me: “…never mind.”

    Stamp Of Disapproval

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My favourite coffee shop doesn’t have a points card. Instead they have a cardboard card that they stamp. Unfortunately me being me, I would forget to get it stamped or leave it at home, so it has taken several months to fill it up. I’m two coffees away and I have just ordered two coffees.)

    Me: “Oh, my card.”

    (The barista looks at my card, looks at me, and looks at the coffees I’ve just ordered, stamps it twice, then instead of passing my card back to me, she takes a free coffee off my bill.)

    Me: “Thank you for not understanding your own policy of buy six get one free!”

    Don’t Want To Cause A Latte Trouble

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I am the customer in this situation. My husband orders us each a caramel iced latte. He comes back to the car from the store. He has got his order right and mine is wrong. It was a small, hot coffee that wasn’t marked ‘caramel.’ I thought maybe they had given him someone else’s order by mistake and he was too nice to fix it, so I go back in with the drink and the receipt, that says two iced caramel lattes.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m sorry, but I think my husband got the wrong order? I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get someone else’s coffee.”

    Employee #1: “Uh… [Employee #2], what do I do?”

    Employee #2: “Make her the right drink this time! Jesus, [Employee #1], that’s the third time today. At least this one is nicer than the last guy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cause trouble. Really.”

    (My new drink is made in record time, and I’m not charged extra for it.)

    Employee #1: “It’s okay. I’ve been here a month and I should know what I’m doing, but I’m still new and I still mess up. I just don’t want to get fired. Thank you for the tip. Seriously. Have a nice day, and I’m sorry I messed up your drink.”

    (All the change I brought into the store with me in case I had to purchase my drink again was put in the tip jar that the employees share, and both the employees thanked me profusely. Seriously, coffee shop workers need to be cut some slack!)

    Different Kinds Of Alarm Bells Should Be Ringing

    | UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (During the night I get a phone call from our security company informing me that our security alarm is going off. The assistant manager and I meet at the store and manage to ascertain the cause of the problem is a door which had been opened earlier that day that links our premises to the travel agent next door. This door is normally locked and only the travel agents have a key. While closing it we trigger their alarm and call the police in the hope they can contact their key-holders about the situation. They are unable to get hold of the key-holders themselves but give me the number for their security company.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Security Company].”

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of [Coffee Shop]. We have been advised to call you by the police regarding an alarm that has been set off at the premises of one of your clients.”

    Employee: “Okay, no problem. What’s your password?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have a password. We’re not one of your clients. The travel agents next door are and we’re calling to try and give you information so you can contact them.”

    Employee: “So if you don’t have their password do you have your password?”

    Me: “No, sorry. I think there may have been a misunderstanding. Our store is not a client of yours but we have set off an alarm at the travel agents next door who are one of your clients. It has been caused by a door that links the two properties. We need to get in contact with them to let them know the cause of the problem and to find out if they can lock the door as we don’t have a key for it.”

    Employee: “I can’t let you contact them without a password.”

    Me: “I’m not trying to contact them. I’m asking you to contact them. There is a security issue at your clients property and you are their security company. You will need to contact them about this; I want to give you information to help them to solve the problem.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything without your password.”

    Me: “So, you’re telling me I can’t let you know about a security issue at your client’s premises unless I have a password? It’s your duty to call your clients when their alarms are going off but you have no way of letting members of the public notify you their alarm is going off without a password? In spite of the fact that if I had a password I would presumably be a member of their staff and thus not need to contact you to let you know the alarm was going off?”

    Employee: “That is correct.”

    (Since the conversation was going nowhere I hung up. I contacted the travel agents the next day and they had not even received the mandatory call the security company should have made to them to let them know the alarm had been activated.)


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