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    Driven Insane

    | ME, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (It’s about 2 am and a friend and I are driving on the interstate. It’s about a 16-hour drive to New York and we couldn’t leave until after 5 pm so we just planned to drive through the night. We stop at a generic convenience store. The clerk inside is a very peculiar looking individual: greasy hair plastered to his head, a tight shiny company shirt that has seen better days, dirty black jeans, and a pair of army boots. He appears to have bad vision and a tic. We load our purchases on the counter and he starts to make conversation.)

    Clerk: “So yas aren’t from around here, are yas?”

    Us: “No, we’re from Canada.”

    Clerk: “So you’re driving this late at night, all ALONE?”

    Us: “Um, yes. There are two of us.”

    Clerk: “Anything could happen to yas out there, these roads… Could be just anybody waiting to run you off the road and take yas…” *laughs strangely*

    Us: *nervously* Yeah, well, we have cell phones… and we’re good drivers.”

    Clerk: “Ain’t got no reception out here usually… Little car like that…” *indicates my compact hatchback* “… Why, that would fit just about anywhere to hide it. S’black, too. Nobody’d see it.”

    Us: “Well, thanks for the tip…”

    Clerk: “Nice to have met yas. You wouldn’t believe the weirdos that I usually see in here this time of night.”

    Doesn’t Have The Energy To Argue

    | South Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (A young customer comes to my till. I serve him, take his money, and he leaves. My supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “[My Name], did you just serve that customer without asking for ID?”

    Me: “Well, yes. But—”

    Supervisor: “You know the rules, if the customer looks under 25 we have to ID, and he was clearly younger than that.”

    Me “But—”

    Supervisor: “You need to be more careful. You know both the store and you personally would have to pay a fine if you’re caught selling alcohol to minors?”

    Me: “I know that, but—”

    Supervisor: “I know you’re usually very thorough with IDs, but if I see you doing that again, I’m going to have to write you up. We can’t risk having our alcohol license removed.”

    Me: “[Supervisor]!”

    Supervisor: “Yes?”

    Me: “I didn’t ID him because he wasn’t buying alcohol. He was buying an energy drink.”

    Supervisor: “Oh.” *short pause* “Okay, keep up the good work.”

    The Customer Is Not Always Bright

    | GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (I am a clerk at a convenience store. The district manager just happens to be at the store today. We have had a lot of stupid customers. During a slow period I turn to him.)

    Me: “We need to install devices on the perimeter of the property that doesn’t allow people in unless they have an IQ of at least 70.”

    District Manager: “We can’t afford to lose all the business.”

    Taking The Free Shipping Option

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Top

    (I’m purchasing coffee and a snack at a convenience store close to my house.)

    Clerk: “Was there anything else you wanted?”

    Me: “Some warmer weather would be nice.”

    Clerk: “We were told it is currently on backorder. We should be getting it in about three or four months.”

    Booze, You Lose

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I’m at a convenience store, down an aisle that has chips and beef jerky along one side and wine along the other. I’m debating over chips. I am very obviously no longer a teenager.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Cashier: “Hey! You! Get the f*** out of that aisle!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “Don’t you know it’s illegal for kids to go down the booze aisle?”

    Me: “One: no, it’s not. Two: I’m not a kid. I’m almost 30.”

    Cashier: “It’s illegal! I’m not losing my f****** job if some cop sees you.”

    Manager: *who has been right behind the cashier the whole time* “Actually, she’s right, and you’re right to worry about your job, but not because of her. Let’s go talk in the back.”

    (He still works there, but he gives me a death glare every time he sees me.)


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