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    Can’t State This Enough

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography

    (My family and I take a vacation to Block Island, off the coast of Rhode Island. Rhode Island is a very small state, but a state nonetheless. While out kayaking, my dad loses his wallet, including his credit cards. When we get home he calls the credit card company to cancel his card.)

    Rep: “Okay, sir, where were you when you lost your credit card?”

    Dad: “I was on Block Island. That’s a part of Rhode Island.”

    Rep: “Thank you, sir. And what state is Rhode Island in?”

    Making A Ridiculous Statement

    | Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m cancelling my credit card, after switching to another company whose card offers perquisites I’m more interested in having. After turning down the agent’s offers for other cards I’m not interested in, the following conversation finishes the call.)

    Agent: “Okay, I’ve cancelled your account. You’ll no longer have online access to the account and services. You’ll still be responsible for any charges that are posted to the account.”

    Me: “Okay. Are you going to be sending me a paper statement if there’s activity?”

    Agent: “No. You were signed up for electronic statements, which can be viewed online.”

    Me: “Which I no longer have access to.”

    Agent: “Yes.”

    Me: “So, how will I know if something is charged to the account if you won’t give me online access or send me a statement?”

    Agent: “You can still call in to our phone service.”

    Me: “So you’re not going to tell me if there’s activity on my account, but you want me to keep calling in to check on the off chance that something does?”

    Agent: “Yes.”

    Me: “No.” *hangs up*

    Customer Service Can Be A Stumbling Block

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money

    (I’ve lost my wallet. I spend an entire week frantically re-tracing my steps on foot—over 40 city blocks—checking my university’s lost and found, and looking in my mailbox to see if someone had returned it. Finally, I give up hope. I pay for new IDs and cancel my cards. But several days later, someone from university calls to report it has been found. I am on the phone to reactivate my credit card.)

    Me: “Hi, I reported my card lost, but now I have it and would like to reactivate.”

    Representative: “Why did you report it lost if you have it?”

    Me: “I lost my wallet and didn’t expect to get it back. But I have it now. Can you reactivate my card?”

    Representative: *sighs* “Okay, but I have to verify some info from your account.”

    Me: *answers*

    Representative: “…and where was your last purchase made?”

    Me: *answers*

    Representative: *rudely* “Do you recognize charge from [other store]?”

    Me: “Yes, but that was purchased earlier in the same day. You asked for the last purchase. Now can you reactivate my card? I’ve given you plenty of info.”

    Representative: “Okay, I’ll reactivate your account, but just so you know, you should never report your card stolen if it’s not serious. That feature is for emergency use only!”

    Me: “I never said it was stolen; it was lost. I didn’t want anyone finding and using my card.”

    Representative: “Well, you still shouldn’t have done that. Obviously it was in your house all along and you just couldn’t figure out where.”

    Me: *click*