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    Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

    , | KS, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Overtime, School

    (I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

    Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

    Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

    Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

    Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

    (I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

    Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

    Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

    Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

    Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

    (We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

    Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

    Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

    (I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

    (The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

    A New Hire Level Of Respect

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Coworkers, New Hires

    (At my work, the new hires all get a large blue ribbon to wear with their nametags that says ‘NEW HIRE’ on it in large letters. Most people try to get rid of it as soon as possible, usually within two weeks. So far I’ve been there about two months.)

    Coworker: *looking at my ribbon* “When are you going to take that thing off?”

    Me: “When someone in management tells me to.”

    Coworker: *looking and sounding very confused* “Why?”

    Me: “Because everyone’s so much nicer to me when they think I’ve only had a handful of shifts. I keep getting complimented on how well I’m doing and how quick I am. Plus, I haven’t had a single rude or impatient customer yet.”

    Coworker: “… now you’re making me want one.”

    Attractive In Many Ways

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Coworkers

    (At our deli we serve customers on a “whoever is closest and available” basis. An attractive man has just walked up to exactly where I’m filling. I’ve just finished taking off my chicken-soaked gloves and have opened my mouth to greet him when my female coworker appears next to me with a wide smile, seemingly out of nowhere.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Shoo.”

    (The customer just chuckles and rolls his eyes at me.)

    Childhood Cheer

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (At our supermarket, it’s common for parents to ask if their child can have a single cocktail frankfurt (which are often called cheerios) to nibble on while they shop. We also offer them freely to most customers with children. They love it. On this day, I’m serving a middle aged woman and her twenty-something daughter.)

    Me: “And will that be all today?”

    Mother: “Yep, thanks.”

    (I turn away to wrap their purchases and I overhear the next part.)

    Daughter: *mumbling something*

    Mother: *laughing* “I used to be able to get you a free cheerio when you were four, but they’re not going to give you one now!”

    (I turn back to hand them their items.)

    Me: *to the mother* “Has your little girl been good enough for a cheerio?”

    (The mother face-palms as the daughter literally jumps up at down with excitement.)

    Daughter: “Yay, yay, yay!” *stuffs entire cheerio into her mouth* “Fankoo!”

    Mother: “This hasn’t happened for almost 20 years and now I’m going to have to do it every time!”

    (This made my day. Never lose your inner child!)

    Can’t Get With The Program(ming)

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Language & Words

    Customer #1: “And that’s all today!”

    Me: “Alrighty!” *hands over food* “Is there anything else with that today?— Oh, sorry, programming. Have a nice day!”

    Customer #1: *laughs and walks away*

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Have a nice day— Argh! I mean, having a nice day? I mean— Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer #2: “You’re glitching a little, dear.”

    Coworker: “I think she just needs a reboot.”


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