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  • Too Early For Proper English
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    A New Hire Level Of Respect

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Coworkers, New Hires

    (At my work, the new hires all get a large blue ribbon to wear with their nametags that says ‘NEW HIRE’ on it in large letters. Most people try to get rid of it as soon as possible, usually within two weeks. So far I’ve been there about two months.)

    Coworker: *looking at my ribbon* “When are you going to take that thing off?”

    Me: “When someone in management tells me to.”

    Coworker: *looking and sounding very confused* “Why?”

    Me: “Because everyone’s so much nicer to me when they think I’ve only had a handful of shifts. I keep getting complimented on how well I’m doing and how quick I am. Plus, I haven’t had a single rude or impatient customer yet.”

    Coworker: “… now you’re making me want one.”

    Attractive In Many Ways

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Coworkers

    (At our deli we serve customers on a “whoever is closest and available” basis. An attractive man has just walked up to exactly where I’m filling. I’ve just finished taking off my chicken-soaked gloves and have opened my mouth to greet him when my female coworker appears next to me with a wide smile, seemingly out of nowhere.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Shoo.”

    (The customer just chuckles and rolls his eyes at me.)

    Childhood Cheer

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (At our supermarket, it’s common for parents to ask if their child can have a single cocktail frankfurt (which are often called cheerios) to nibble on while they shop. We also offer them freely to most customers with children. They love it. On this day, I’m serving a middle aged woman and her twenty-something daughter.)

    Me: “And will that be all today?”

    Mother: “Yep, thanks.”

    (I turn away to wrap their purchases and I overhear the next part.)

    Daughter: *mumbling something*

    Mother: *laughing* “I used to be able to get you a free cheerio when you were four, but they’re not going to give you one now!”

    (I turn back to hand them their items.)

    Me: *to the mother* “Has your little girl been good enough for a cheerio?”

    (The mother face-palms as the daughter literally jumps up at down with excitement.)

    Daughter: “Yay, yay, yay!” *stuffs entire cheerio into her mouth* “Fankoo!”

    Mother: “This hasn’t happened for almost 20 years and now I’m going to have to do it every time!”

    (This made my day. Never lose your inner child!)

    Can’t Get With The Program(ming)

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Language & Words

    Customer #1: “And that’s all today!”

    Me: “Alrighty!” *hands over food* “Is there anything else with that today?— Oh, sorry, programming. Have a nice day!”

    Customer #1: *laughs and walks away*

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Have a nice day— Argh! I mean, having a nice day? I mean— Hi, what can I get you?”

    Customer #2: “You’re glitching a little, dear.”

    Coworker: “I think she just needs a reboot.”

    The Age Of Immaturity

    , | Australia | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners

    (We all act like children at work sometimes. We have fun. This happens after I serve a customer.)

    Manager: “What was that about?”

    Me: “Oh, she was wondering why one ticket said ‘aged’ and the other said ‘mature’ on the same type of cheese. I just told her that they’re both the same.”

    Manager: “I’m over 30 years old. We both know THAT’S not true!”


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