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  • Very Honest Customer Service

    , | Australia | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (We don’t have a queuing system so we have to ask who’s next. Occasionally the customers don’t know who’s next, but sometimes a coworker will point out who arrived first. We’re supposed to be subtle about this.)

    Me: “Who’s next?”

    (The three female customers and one male customer still waiting all look at each other, unsure.)

    Coworker: *loudly, not looking up* “Ridiculously attractive guy.”

    Ridiculously Attractive Guy: *beams at me*

    Not An Encouraging Sign

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Employees, Language & Words

    (I work at a supermarket deli. We have a lot of customers come in who refuse to read the labels and just ask for ‘that one.’ I have an excellent customer service record because I just laugh it off, but my coworkers hate it.)

    Customer: “Can I get six of… uh… I’m not sure what it’s called.”

    (I can clearly see where he’s pointing, so I decide to have a laugh with him as I grab them.)

    Me: “Thin franks, Vienna franks, hot dogs, the long ones…” *I laugh, pointing dramatically at the product* “…or my personal favourite ‘THAT ONE!’”

    Customer: *also laughing* “Yes, ‘THAT ONE!’”

    (After I weigh it up and he leaves, my coworker turns to glare at me.)

    Coworker: “Stop encouraging them!”

    Hard Boiled Service

    | Manhattan, NY, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Can I get the chicken salad wrap and a double espresso?”

    Employee: “No.”

    Me: “Uh… No sandwich, or no coffee?”

    Employee: “I don’t know how to use the espresso machine.”

    Me: “Oh. Um, is there anyone who can?”

    Employee: “No one knows how to use this f****** machine. You want, like, really boiled down coffee? ‘Cause that’s the best I got.”

    (I declined the boiled down coffee.)

    Which Is The Grate-est

    | FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    Me: “What about that four-cheese Italian blend?”

    Employee: “What would you like to know about it?”

    Me: “What four cheeses are in it?”

    Employee: “Let’s see there’s: Asiago, Parmesan, Romano and American.”

    Me: “That sounds good; give me half a pound of that.”

    Employee: “Y’know, I don’t get why they call it an Italian blend if it has American in it.”

    Me: “Hmm…”

    Employee: “It should have provolone instead. Provolone is the best cheese there is.”

    Me: “I like cheddar the best, personally.”

    Employee: “No, provolone is way better. Other cheeses leave anonymous hate messages on provolone’s Facebook page because they’re jealous.”

    Not Even Half A Brain, Part 2

    | Zeeland, MI, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    Me: “Can I get eight ounces of the sliced ham?”

    Deli Worker: “We can’t do that.”

    Me: “Okay, how about half a pound?”

    Deli Worker: “Sure thing!”

    Not Even Half A Brain

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