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  • For A Few Dollars More
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  • Case Of Mistaken Identity Fraud

    , | Opelika, AL USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (This story takes place a few days after the nationwide announcement that a large, well-known retail store had been hacked and that customers who had used credit/debit cards were at risk. I am at the return desk shortly after the store opened on Christmas Eve morning. I have a receipt; the item was purchased two days ago. The cashier looks sleepy and irritated.)

    Cashier: “I need to see your ID to process this return.”

    Me: *opens wallet and shows ID*

    Cashier: “No, no. I need you to take it out so I can scan it.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Cashier: *uncaring* “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Let me speak with a manager, please.”

    (Not one, but two similarly irritated managers eventually come to the return desk. I ask why scanning the ID is necessary for a return, and I share my concern that my private information is at risk in light of the recent hacking incident.)

    Manager: *shrugs* “Well, if someone’s gonna get your information, there ain’t much you can do but let ‘em.”

    Me: “…”

    Split Opinion On The Service

    | Moore, OK, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    Employee: “Welcome to [Electronics Store]. What can I get for you?”

    Me: “Yeah, I need a CAT5 splitter please.”

    Employee: “No, I think you need a switch. They’re over here.”

    Me: “Well, you didn’t ask me what I’m doing. I know I need a CAT5 splitter.”

    Employee: “Well, 85% to 90% of the time, you’re going to need a switch.”

    Me: “I know what I’m doing. I don’t need a switch. I need a splitter.”

    Employee: “Okay. Let’s see. What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m splitting the signal for a POS printer; that hardly needs any connectivity. So I don’t need a full signal from a switch; I need THE SPLITTER.”

    Employee: “Oh. Yeah, you’d need a splitter for that. Why didn’t you say so? But we’re out.”

    Manager: *who has been watching* “Jeez, I’m sorry. Splitters are right here. Also, I’m giving you 10% off for your trouble.”

    His Powers To Resist Are Limited (Edition)

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “I’d like to buy Mists of Pandaria, please.”

    Clerk: “Would you also like to buy the Mists of Pandaria Limited Edition Game Guide?”

    Me: “No, thank you; just the game.”

    Clerk: “But it has everything you need to get your characters to the highest levels.”

    Me: “No, I really can’t justify the extra expense.”

    Clerk: *sing-song voice* “Limited edition…”

    Me: “My wife would kill me.”

    Clerk: “Comes with Panda Chopsticks.”

    Me: “…d*** it.”

    Clerk: “Gotcha.”

    Guessing Remotely

    | Sterling, VA, USA | Employees, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Do you happen to have the remote for this TV?” *points to a TV on display*

    Employee: “Actually I’m off work right now… is that a Pac-Man ghost?” *points to my t-shirt*

    Me: “No, that’s a creeper from Minecraft.”

    Employee: “It looks like a Pac-Man ghost.”

    Me: “So do you have the remote?”

    Employee: “Cherries.”

    Me: “What?”

    Employee: “Strawberries. Oranges.”

    Me: “What?”

    Employee: “Blue ghost.”

    The Needs Of The Trekkie Out Blu-ray The Needs Of The Few

    | WI, USA | Employees, Geeks Rule

    Worker: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Me: “No, I think we are good.”

    Worker: “Well, could you pretend to be getting my help so I could look to see if the Star Trek movie I have been looking for is here?”

    (I look at the aisle I had just entered and see all of the Star Trek movies out on sale because of the new movie coming out that weekend. I smile.)

    Me: “Oh, of course!”

    Worker: “Thank you!”

    (He takes a look and smiles really excitedly.)

    Worker: “Yes, they have [Star Trek movie] and in Blu-ray!” *gets back into character* “I hope I was helpful.”

    Me: “You were! Thank you!”


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