(I recently moved, but some of my belongings were somehow misplaced during shipping including many of my gaming items. My fiance takes me to get some of them replaced.)

Me: “Excuse me? I noticed you sell the glow-light controllers but you only have two colors. Would it be possible for me to order one in a different color?”

Employee: “Sorry, miss, that controller only comes in two colors.”

Me: “Actually, I’m pretty sure it also comes in purple considering I have bought a purple one before.”

Employee: “No, those are the only colors we have. Even if we ordered some, they don’t come in purple. What guy would want a girly purple controller anyway?”

(I go over to the stand, pick up one of the controllers and hold up the section that shows all the different colors the controllers are available in… including purple.)

Me: “According to the packaging it comes in purple. Can you order one or not?”

Employee: “Look lady, you obviously don’t know what you are talking about okay? That controller doesn’t come in purple and I’m not going to order one for you.”

(Fed up, I send my fiance up to go deal with it. Insultingly, the employee was more then happy to order a purple controller for him. Needless to say, I filed a complaint.)

Worker: “Can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I’m looking for a microphone.”

Worker: “What?”

Me: “A microphone. You know, to record voice?”

Worker: “What’s that?”

Me: “A microphone! You plug it into the computer and talk and it records your voice.”

Worker: “Oh, you mean a micro-cassette!”

Me: “No, a microphone. For the computer.”

Worker: “I think it’s a micro-cassette you want. Follow me, please.”

(He starts walking away from the computer section, but I refuse to follow.)

Me: “I don’t think that’s what I want. I said a microphone. To record voice onto the computer.”

Worker: “Yes, a micro-cassette.”

Me: “No, I’m looking for a microphone!”

Worker: “Oh! A microphone!”

Me: “Yes.”

Worker: “I’m sorry. I don’t think we stock them.”

Me: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Worker: “You didn’t ask.”

Related:
Of Microwaves And Microbrains

(At the electronics store where I work, one coworker has taken it upon himself to systematically rename every area of the store, much to the annoyance of several of us. I come back from vacation and discover he has been assigned customer service in my absence. It should also be noted that I am a HUGE Doctor Who fan.)

Me: “So, anything interesting happen?”

Coworker #1: “Not really. Oh! But I did rename the area!”

Me: “…Oh?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah. This is now called the Time Machine. Get it? Because you all can go back in time and correct mistakes with purchases!”

Me: *speechless*

(About that time, another coworker of ours, Coworker #2, who is nearby and overheard the exchange, decides to join in. Coworker #2 is normally quiet and very shy, so it’s a bit of a shock at how vehemently she suddenly speaks up.)

Coworker #2: “Excuse me, but no. It isn’t the Time Machine, it’s the TARDIS. Because the only time machine that is even worthy of being mentioned IS the TARDIS, and at least that will be ONE not lame name we’ll have in this place!”

(Needless to say, Coworker #2 and I have become good friends since!)

Related:
Who Knew

(I’ve recently gotten a new cellphone. Out of the blue, my phone starts going crazy after an interview. There is no obvious water damage nor evidence of any physical damage. The following week, I go to a local store to try to fix my phone.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve been having some trouble with my phone.”

Worker: “Oh… well, my speciality is with MP3 players. Ask Bob.” *calls Bob over*

Me: *to Bob* “Hi, my phone isn’t….”

Bob: “It’s water damage. All you kids get water damage. Good job, you broke your battery.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s the battery as I can still charge it.”

(Bob ignores me, but checks my phone to see if there is water damage. Lo and behold, there isn’t.)

Bob: “D*** teenagers are getting sneakier with wanting to get upgrades. Always wanting your parents to buy the next best thing. When I was a teenager, I paid for that myself!”

Me: “Sir, I am not a teenager, and although I am on my father’s account, I chose and paid for the phone myself. I also pay my share of the phone bill each month. I do not want an upgrade. I am merely hoping to figure out what’s wrong with my phone because I have several interviews coming up soon.”

Bob: “Lazy teenage girls don’t work! They have boyfriends and their dads to pay for it all!”

Me: “Like I said, I am not a teenager. I’m 23, as a matter of fact. Can you please tell me what’s wrong with my phone?”

Bob: “Your phone needs replacing! I’ll have to send you a new one, but you won’t get an upgrade! You’ll keep this type of phone. Mail in the defective phone to Texas so they’ll smash it with bricks! How do you like that?”

Me: “That’s fine, as long as it comes as quickly as possible and it will work for me. Thanks for your help.”

(As I’m leaving the store with my defective phone, Bob has one more thing to say to me.)

Bob: “GET A JOB! Lazy teenage girls are so unattractive!”

(My dad and I are at an electronics store asking an employee for a USB DVD drive.)

Employee: “So, what do you need this for anyway?”

Me: “Just to to have one that works to read things.”

Employee: “Well, instead of using your CDs, you can just download stuff. It’s not illegal. Just pirate it; I do it all the time!”