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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Their Humor Is Handicapped

    , | OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (I am working the closing shift by doing dishes. All night when there is no customer at the drive through, my coworker on the grill yells what he thinks are funny impersonations of people with mental handicaps.)

    Coworker: “[Manager]! It’s impossible to make [My Name] laugh!”

    Manager: “What? No it isn’t.”

    (I am so focused on doing the dishes that I don’t notice her coming up behind me.)

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name], look.” *pulls out her phone, showing a funny animated GIF involving two cats*

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Manager: “See? I told you it is possible to make her laugh!”

    Coworker: “But she doesn’t laugh at me!”

    Me: “Because you’re not funny. And you do realize that my little brother has a disability, right?”

    (My coworker left me alone for the rest of the night!)

    Some People Are Unable To Change

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I am going through the drive-thru of a burger place. The total comes to $7.20, I hand the cashier $10.20.)

    Cashier: “Here’s your change” *hands me $5 note*

    Me: “No, that’s not right” *hands back note* “I gave you $10.20 and the change is $3.”

    Cashier: *looking confused at the note* “Um, but you gave me…”

    Me: “$10.20, I get $3 change.”

    Cashier: *hands me three coins snootily* “There you are, then.”

    Me: “You gave me three $2 coins…”

    Your Voice Croaked

    , | MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Technology, Top

    (I began losing my voice during my shift and got sent home early when I started to run a fever. The next day I call out of work, but I have no voice and my work doesn’t have email.)

    Manager: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Place]. How can I help you?”

    Me: *tries to speak*

    Manager: “…Hello?”

    Me: *croaking noises*

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t— Wait, [My Name]? Is this you?”

    Me: *coughing fit*

    Manager: “Press a button if this is [My Name].”

    Me: *beeeep*

    Manager: “Press two buttons if you can’t come in to work tonight.”

    Me: *beeeep beeeep*

    Manager: *laughing* “Okay, we’ll figure it out. Feel better.”

    (Two days later I’m well enough to go back to work.)

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name]!

    Me: “Hey, boss!”

    Manager: “…beep!”

    (From then on, whenever someone called out of work, my manager would beep at them before she hung up.)

    I’ll Go With Option Number Two

    , | Kitchener, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (We have recently gotten a new dessert: a pop tart ice cream sandwich. We are supposed to suggest it at the end of the order.)

    Coworker: “Will that be everything today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Would you like an apple pie or our new poop tart— pop tart ice cream sandwich?”

    Didn’t Do Well With Pi At School

    , | Melbourne, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m getting lunch and have asked for two slices of pizza.)

    Cashier: “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a personal pan pizza? It’s one and a half slices and it’s only a dollar more.”


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