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  • Don’t Count On A Student Discount

    , | France | At The Checkout, Employees, School, Themed Giveaway

    (In my university, student cards are magnetic and quite expensive to make. In order not to make us pay for a new one every year, they simply put a sticker stating the current school year above the former one. I’m currently in my second year. I’m at the checkout of a sub shop, different from the location I usually go to.)

    Cashier: “What will it be with your sandwich?”

    Me: “I’ll have a student price meal please, with soda and a cookie.”

    Cashier: “Sure thing. Can I just see your student card, please?”

    (I show my card, thinking she’ll just look at it like they do in the location I usually go to. Instead, she takes it from my hand and frowns.)

    Cashier: “Do you think you can fool me?”

    (She angrily peels off the “2013-2014″ sticker from my card, while I open big eyes.)

    Me: “Wait, please don—”

    Cashier: “Do you think you can just put on a sticker on your old card and still get student prices?”

    Me: “Wait, that sticker is from the university… You can see that the font and color match. Do you think I’d go through such trouble for €1 off a meal? Please, put it back in place…”

    (Instead, she just wipes the sticker off on her apron, then hands me back my card and presses a few keys on her register.)

    Cashier: “That will be full price for you.”

    Me: “Thank you for making my card invalid. Here’s your money. Thanks for nothing.”

    (I leave with my full price meal and go to my university in the afternoon. Thankfully, they didn’t mind putting a new sticker on my card. Since then, I always went to my usual location.)

    Bringing A Conversation To A Dead End

    , | England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’ve just gone into a popular fast food chain to get a drink. As the cashier gets my order, my boyfriend, who has been waiting for me, comes up to the counter and kisses me on the cheek. I smile, look around, and then realise the cashier is looking at me rather strangely.)

    Cashier: “Oh, you’re so lucky. Mine doesn’t do anything like that!”

    (I laugh a little awkwardly as she hands me my drink.)

    Cashier: “That’s because he’s dead…”

    Pink Eye Or The Pink Slip

    , | USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I have recently come down with pink eye, which is very contagious. Since I work around food and people all day, I decide it’s best to call into work. The lunch manager tells me I’m not allowed to call in or she’ll have me fired, so I decide to wear an eye patch to work instead. About ten minutes after I clock in, the morning manager notices me.)

    Morning Manager: “[My Name], what’s wrong with your eye?”

    Me: “Oh, I have pink eye.”

    (The manager and any nearby employees leap back from me like I have the plague.)

    Morning Manager: “Why didn’t you call in? That’s contagious! You’re not allowed to work in that condition!”

    Me: “But [Lunch Manager] said she’d have me fired if I didn’t show up.”

    Morning Manager: “No. Don’t touch anything and get your things. I will clock you out myself. Go home, get some rest, and don’t you dare step back into this store until you have recovered. I will deal with [Lunch Manager].”

    (When I eventually got back to work I was not in trouble. But as punishment for making me come in, the lunch manager was forced to clean and sanitize everything I had touched that morning. At least she never threatened to fire me for calling in sick again!)

    Played His Card Right

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

    (My credit card features chip-and-PIN, but the chip has stopped working. I know this, and have ordered a replacement card, but in the meantime I have to make do. Fortunately, nearly every credit card terminal allows one to use the old-style magnetic stripe on the card if the chip doesn’t work. I’m ordering some fast food.)

    Cashier: “Okay, your total is $9.25.”

    (I hand the cashier my card, which he immediately inserts into the terminal’s chip reader.)

    Me: “I think the chip’s broken, so you might need to—”

    (The cashier pulls the card out, frowning, and inserts it again.)

    Cashier: “This card isn’t working. Do you have another method of payment?”

    Me: “I know. The chip is broken. Can you just swipe the card instead?”

    Cashier: “This machine won’t let you swipe chip cards.”

    Me: “Are you sure? There’s usually an override option on these machines. What does it say?”

    (He inserts the card again.)

    Cashier: “Nope. It says your chip is broken. Do you have any cash?”

    Me: “Um, are you sure there isn’t any option to let me swipe the card? Every other place I’ve been to has been able to do that.”

    (The cashier rolls his eyes and calls over his manager.)

    Cashier: “This card isn’t working, and he says he wants to swipe it instead.”

    Manager: “That won’t work. With these new cards, you have to use the chip. The machine won’t let you swipe.”

    Me: “I think if you try with the chip and it fails, it will give you the option to swipe.”

    (It looks like the manager isn’t listening to me. I notice him cancel the transaction and ring it up again, and then swipe my card.)

    Me: “That might not work. You have to let the chip error happen first and it’ll give the option—”

    Manager: “Nope, it says you have to use the chip. With these chip cards, you can’t swipe them. See?”

    (He turns the terminal over to me so I can see the message.)

    Terminal: “Chip card. Please insert.”

    Me: “Um, may I try?”

    (With a sigh, he hands me my credit card, saying again that it won’t work. I take it and insert it into the chip reader.)

    Terminal: “Chip error. Remove card.”

    (I remove the card.)

    Terminal: “Use magstripe.”

    (I swipe the card, ignoring the manager continuing to say I’m wasting time.)

    Terminal: “Press ‘Enter’ to override chip requirement.”

    (I press Enter.)

    Terminal: “Input last four digits of card.”

    (I input the digits.)

    Terminal: “Transaction approved.”

    (The manager stares, speechless as the receipt prints. He then walks away quickly, refusing to look at me.)

    Cashier: “Whoa! I didn’t know you could do that! Guess you learn something new every day. Do you work with these machines in your job or something?”

    Me: “Uh… no.”

    Cashier: “Then how did you know how to make it work?”

    Me: “I, um… read the instructions on the screen?”

    Hot On The Trail Of Stupidity

    , | ON, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (As I’m cleaning the heat chute, my arm accidentally touches the hot bottom ridge causing me to yelp.)

    Coworker #1: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. This thing is just really hot.”

    Coworker #1: “Really?”

    (Taps it once before resting their fingers on it for a couple seconds.)

    Coworker #1: “Ow!”

    Coworker #2: “What happened?”

    Coworker #1: “This thing is hot!”

    Coworker #2: “Really?”

    (Also taps it before resting fingers on it.)

    Coworker #2: “Ow!”

    Me: “…”


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