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    Can’t Be Any Clearer Than Black And White

    , | Warrington, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “White coffee, please.”

    Server: “We haven’t got any white coffee. I do have some black coffee and some milk if that is okay?”

    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu, Part 2

    , | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’ve placed a lunch order online to pick up at a popular chain fast food Mexican restaurant.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m here to pick up my order. It’s under [My Name]. I placed it online.”

    Employee: “Oh, yeah. We couldn’t make it because you didn’t say what kind of meat you wanted.”

    Me: “Um, I ordered vegetarian tacos.”

    Employee: *blank stare*

    Me: “Vegetarian? As in no meat?”

    Employee: “Oh! So did you not want rice or beans either, then?”

    Me: *forehead slap*

    Related:
    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu

    Baptism By Fired

    , | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (At my store, when someone makes a mistake we always jokingly fire them. We recently get a new general manager and we have all been very uptight and nervous around him.)

    Me: “I’m out of sweet tea for drive thru!”

    General Manager: “I’ll get it.”

    (He brings over the huge bucket and hoists it up to dump in the urn but his hand slips and he dumps the entire bucket on me and him.)

    Me: *deadpan* “You’re fired.”

    (A look of horror passes over my face and then the general manager bursts out laughing.)

    Coworker: “One of us! One of us!”

    Some Coworkers Are Just Suffocating

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body, Physical

    (I am shift leader. A kitchen worker on evening shift is slightly autistic, and very claustrophobic. He is a really nice kid and a hard worker. I walk into the kitchen and see the line cooks laughing around the freezer. I go to see what’s going on.)

    Me: “Hey, what’s so funny?”

    Coworker: “Oh, we just put [Autistic Kid] in the freezer. He walked in to put the pickles up and we closed the door!”

    (Horrified I shove past them and yank the door open. He is curled up on the ground, hyperventilating.)

    Me: “[Autistic Kid], are you okay?!”

    (He just shakes his head and I take him to the front end and tell another coworker to make him a shake, and that I will pay for it. I then go back to chew out the line cooks. The manager hears me and comes around the corner.)

    Manager: “Oh, lighten up, [My Name]. It was just a harmless joke! He was fine.”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t find it funny and neither did he! He could have had a full panic attack and needed to go to the hospital! I hope you realise that he could sue you and the company for the ‘innocent joke’ you just pulled!”

    (He just scoffed and told me to go back to work. The kid quit after that day, after thanking me for saving him, and I left after another two months.)

    Fathered And Fired

    , | Vancouver Island, Canada | Coworkers, Family & Kids

    (It is my first shift working night shift, and not having adjusted yet I am quite tired. I am lying down in the break room when my coworker calls me up front to deal with a customer.)

    Me: “Hey.”

    Customer: “Hey, how are you?”

    Me: “TERRIBLE! I am EXHAUSTED and I was LYING DOWN and then I was forced to get up to wait on YOU, you B******!” *slams fist down on the counter*

    (At this, I see my coworker’s eyes bug out, and he turns around hoping to avoid the inevitable customer outburst.)

    Me: “Oh, [Coworker], this is my dad!”

    Coworker: “OH, THANK GOD! I was just thinking ‘aw, man. [My Name]‘s gonna get fired!’”


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