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    Your Voice Croaked

    , | MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Technology, Top

    (I began losing my voice during my shift and got sent home early when I started to run a fever. The next day I call out of work, but I have no voice and my work doesn’t have email.)

    Manager: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Place]. How can I help you?”

    Me: *tries to speak*

    Manager: “…Hello?”

    Me: *croaking noises*

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t— Wait, [My Name]? Is this you?”

    Me: *coughing fit*

    Manager: “Press a button if this is [My Name].”

    Me: *beeeep*

    Manager: “Press two buttons if you can’t come in to work tonight.”

    Me: *beeeep beeeep*

    Manager: *laughing* “Okay, we’ll figure it out. Feel better.”

    (Two days later I’m well enough to go back to work.)

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name]!

    Me: “Hey, boss!”

    Manager: “…beep!”

    (From then on, whenever someone called out of work, my manager would beep at them before she hung up.)

    I’ll Go With Option Number Two

    , | Kitchener, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (We have recently gotten a new dessert: a pop tart ice cream sandwich. We are supposed to suggest it at the end of the order.)

    Coworker: “Will that be everything today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Would you like an apple pie or our new poop tart— pop tart ice cream sandwich?”

    Didn’t Do Well With Pi At School

    , | Melbourne, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m getting lunch and have asked for two slices of pizza.)

    Cashier: “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a personal pan pizza? It’s one and a half slices and it’s only a dollar more.”

    Shoot First, Ask Questions Later

    , | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It has been a really busy day and we are backed up about 30 minutes per-order. We have about five mini pepperoni pizzas left.)

    Me: “So, this is nothing compared to how Superbowl Sunday will be?”

    Supervisor: “Nope. It’s gonna be rough.”

    Me: “Man, can I just shoot myself now?”

    Supervisor: “NO! Wait until you are outside… and you have to get me first.”

    Me: “Aw, I don’t want to hurt you.”

    (My supervisor drops three of the last pepperoni mini-pizzas.)

    Me: “Never mind. You first.”

    Late Down To The Lockdown

    , | AK, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m one of three people working the opening shift. Since the two managers arrive first, they’re supposed to unlock the doors every day for us employees. On this particular morning, the front door is locked. I go around back to the employee entrance and find it is also locked. A few attempts at knocking prove fruitless, so I finally come around to the drive-through window, where I can see the managers and vaguely hear a conversation.)

    Manager #1: *checking the clock* “Where’s [My Name]? She’s five minutes late! She’s NEVER late!”

    (At this point, I knock on the window.)

    Manager #1: “[Manager #2], you get it. Tell them we’re a little short today.”

    Manager #2: *looking out the window and waving at me* “Say, [Manager #1]? Are you SURE you unlocked all the doors today?”

    Manager #1: “Sure I did! Why?”

    Manager #2: “Because [My Name] is standing right outside this window.”


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