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    It’s A Repeat Order

    , | Reno, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, can I have a chicken bacon ranch salad with grilled chicken?”

    Worker: “You want a salad?”

    Me: “Yes. Chicken bacon ranch salad.”

    Worker: “A bacon salad?”

    Me: “Yes… a chicken bacon ranch salad.”

    Worker: “You want a bacon chicken salad?”

    Me: “Yes, a chicken bacon ranch salad with grilled chicken.”

    Worker: “What kind of dressing?”

    Me: “…ranch.”

    Worker: “You wanted chicken on that? What kind?”

    Me: “…grilled.”

    Worker: “Okay… okay… ranch bacon salad with grilled chicken and ranch?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (Luckily they got my order right…)

    A Stupid Combo

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “[Burger] please, just on its own.”

    Server: “You want a combo?”

    Me: “No, on its own, please.”

    Server: “Not combo?”

    Me: “On its own.”

    Server: “You should get a combo, it’s cheaper.”

    Me: “Than just the burger?”

    Server: “No.”

    Me: “Just the burger please. Nothing else.”

    Server: *shrugs* “Okay, six dollars.”

    Me: “But it’s only $3.99.”

    Server: “Plus tax.”

    Me: “The tax shouldn’t be that much.”

    Server: “Sandwich and fries and drink plus tax, six dollars.”

    Me: “But I said no combo.”

    Server: “Yes, so fries and drink cost more.”

    Me: “But I only want the burger, no combo. No drink, no fries.”

    Server: “You want just the sandwich?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Server: “No drink? No fries?”

    (She’s probably still trying to sell the combo to the space I was standing in.)

    I Say Tomato, You Say…

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working as the backup order taker at the drive thru one night. The woman working drive thru was busy with a customer at the window, so I took the next customer’s order.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a [Signature Burger] combo with no tomato and no pickle, and a diet coke.”

    Me: “Okay, a [Signature Burger] combo with no pomato, no tickle.”

    (I pause, realizing what I just said. The customer chuckles.)

    Me: “Sorry. That’s no pomato, no tickle.”

    (Again I pause, realizing I did it again. Customer chuckles again.)

    Me: “One more time. No pomato, no tickle.”

    (Another pause. More chuckling.)

    Me: “Okay. So a [Signature Burger] meal with special toppings and a diet [Soda]. Is there anything else?”

    Customer: “No, that’s everything.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [cost]. Please drive to the window.”

    (The customer pulls up to the window, pays, and my coworker turns to get the change. I go to the window to talk to the customer.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know why I can’t say no pomato, no tickle. I just did it again.”

    Customer: *laughing* “Yes, I don’t mind, really.”

    (My coworker gets the food while I think about how the words should sound. I ask to hand the food to the customer.)

    Me: “Here’s your [Signature Burger] combo with no tomato, no pickle. Have a good night.”

    Customer: “Thanks, and you got it this time. Bye.”

    A Recipe For Disaster, Part 2

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Since I was two, I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease, which means that I can’t eat gluten. So I’m gluten-free, but most definitely not by choice. The most difficult part is eating out, because often employees won’t know what to do.)

    Me: “Is this item gluten-free?”

    Employee: “No, nothing is free.”

    Me: “No, does this item have any gluten in it?”

    Employee: “Gluten? What is gluten?”

    Me: “Wheat, barley, rye, oats, or spelt – are any of those ingredients in this product?”

    Employee: “One second.”

    (He then gets out his iPhone, and I presume it’s to call someone who created the product to make sure. Instead, he goes onto Google to search up ‘gltin.’)

    Employee: “How do you spell it?”

    Me: “Uh, never mind. I’ll just have [product that in no way could have gluten].”

    A Recipe For Disaster

    The Nickname Hasn’t Twigged

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I stop for lunch in a common fast food restaurant. After placing my order, this happens.)

    Cashier: “And what’s the name on that?”

    Me: “Twig.” *my common nickname that I always use for things like this*

    Cashier: “Quick?”

    Me: “No, Twig.”

    (She gives me a sort of blank look, nods, then writes on my receipt. I’m adept at reading upside down and sees that she writes ‘Quick’. Not wanting to argue, I just step to the side. When my order is ready, I watch the cook step out from the back, and locate my receipt.)

    Cook: “…what’s the name on this?”

    Cashier: “Quick!”

    Cook: “Order for Quick!”

    (I just shook my head and took my food. I’ve had problems with people getting my given name wrong, but don’t usually have a problem with Twig!)

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