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    Finally Off The Hook

    , | OH, USA | Bigotry, Coworkers

    (It is a rather slow day at my workplace. For the past year, one of my coworkers has been trying to hook me up with male customers, which I turn down. Her boyfriend shows up with her son while she goes on break. When she comes back, she is chatting about her son.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey, [My Name]. Do you want any kids?”

    Me: *restocking my station* “Nope.”

    Coworker #1: “Do you want to get married?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Coworker #1: “Do you want a boyfriend?”

    Me: “Had one. Broke up with him. Don’t want another.”

    Coworker: “Why not?”

    Me: “I discovered I was asexual and aromantic when I was dating.”

    Coworker #1: “So you have sex with yourself?”

    Me: “No. It means I don’t want sex, just like aromantic means I don’t want any relationships other than familial or friendly.”

    Coworker #1: “Oh my gosh, [My Name]! You’re a woman! You’re made to make babies!”

    Me: “No. I am made to make high scores, art, stories, and honor to my God. Possibly even become a CSI.”

    (One of my other female coworkers who’s been listening in speaks up.)

    Coworker #2: “Amen, sistah!” *high-fives me*

    Coworker #1: *fumes off*

    Coworker #2: “So, what were those terms again? Because I think I’m one of those, too…”

    A Carb-Loaded Statement

    , | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Coworker: “Hey, does carbonara sauce contain carbon?”

    Me: “I would assume so, since it’s the building block of just about all organic matter.”

    Coworker: “So that means that it’s called carbonara, because it contains carbon?”

    Me: “I don’t think that’s it…”

    Trying To Milk The Situation

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, New Hires

    (I’m the newest and youngest employee at a fast food restaurant. Because of this the manager seems to think I’m completely incompetent and tends to watch me too carefully and step in when it’s not necessary.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir! What would you like today?”

    Customer: “Ah yes. Can I please have a medium hot chocolate? And can you make it half milk? It’s just too sweet for me.”

    Me: “Of course. That’ll be [price].”

    (I go off to make the drink. At this point, my manager is watching me like a hawk.)

    Me: “Here you are!”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    (Moments later, the man comes back to counter.)

    Customer: “Hi, sorry! The milk just made the drink cold. Haha! I guess I didn’t think that through. Could you just add some more hot chocolate into this?”

    Me: “Oh, I’ll just make you a new one. Let me just—”

    (My manager suddenly appears beside me and interrupts.)

    Manager: “Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. She’s new and she just doesn’t know what she’s doing. Would you like anything from the display? A muffin? A donut? Maybe a bagel? I’m so sorry. She’s still learning and—”

    Customer: “Woah, there. She did nothing wrong and the drink was completely my fault. She’s doing fine on her own. So, do you mind?”

    Manager: “Oh… yes. But of course.” *sulks away*

    Me: *trying to hide the biggest smile on my face* “Ah, yes. So, the hot chocolate…”

    The Meat Of The Problem

    , | OH, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Though not a vegetarian, I love a good egg and cheese breakfast sandwich. I am in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi! I’d like a [combo], with no meat, and a coffee to drink.”

    Cashier: “So you want [sandwich] with sausage instead?”

    Me: “No. No meat. Just egg and cheese, please!”

    Cashier: “It comes with ham.”

    Me: “No, thanks! I just want egg and cheese.”

    Cashier: “The sandwich comes with ham. If you want it without meat, you have to order it without meat.”

    Me: *thinking that’s what I had just done* “Then I would like it in the combo with no meat, please.”

    Cashier: “With coffee to drink?”

    Me: “Yes, please!”

    (The rest of the transaction goes just fine. I got home and found that my breakfast sandwich with no meat was a fish sandwich with an egg patty on it.)

    Service Is Not In Mint Condition

    , | USA | Coworkers, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (I stop by a local fast food place to get a hot drink. It is part of a chain, and I work in one of the other stores.)

    Me: “I would like a medium peppermint hot chocolate, please. Whole milk.”

    Cashier: “Um… I don’t think we have that… No, we only have peppermint mochas. Do you want one of those instead?”

    Me: “No. I want a hot chocolate but instead of the normal chocolate syrup, I would like the peppermint chocolate syrup in it.”

    Cashier: “Uh… Let me go get my manager…”

    (The cashier scuttles off and brings back a manager.)

    Manager: “So, you were wanting a hot chocolate, miss?”

    Me: “I would like a peppermint hot chocolate. Medium size with whole milk.”

    Manager: “We don’t have that. Did you want a peppermint mocha?”

    Me: “Okay, look. I work at [store across town] so I know you can make a peppermint hot chocolate. And I can even tell you exactly where the button for it is on your screen.”

    (After a few more painful minutes I talk them through ringing the order in and procedure for making the drink. I think this is the end of it until the next day when I am at work and my manager pulls me to the side.)

    Manager: “So I got a weird call from the other store complaining about your behavior yesterday.”

    (I explain what happened and my manager leaves to make a phone call.)

    Manager: “I just got off the phone with the owner. He was very interested to hear how the other store’s employees seem to be unfamiliar with a product they supposedly did training for last month. You’re not in trouble.”

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