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    They’re All Trying To Get Fired

    , | OK, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am going through the drive-through and someone previously has tossed a cigarette which has started a fire beside the ordering box.)

    Me: “Hey, there’s a fire out here by the order box.”

    Voice: “Okay, we’ll let someone know.”

    (I get to the pay window.)

    Me: “Hey, you know there’s a fire next to your order box?”

    Cashier: “Oh?” *looks at the cameras on the area* “I don’t see anything. Your food will be ready at the next window.”

    (I go to the next window.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but there’s a fire at the drive-in box.”

    Clerk: “Okay, I tell manager.”

    (She clearly does nothing, so I drive back around to the box and try to stomp out the fire myself. I get back to the box and call the attendant.)

    Me: “The fire out here has gotten worse. Can you send someone out with some water?”

    Voice: “I’ll tell a manager.”

    Me: “Are you guys trying to have your place burn down?”

    Voice: “What?”

    Me: “You have a fire out here. F. I. R. E… FIRE!”

    Voice: “Okay, I’ll send someone out with some water.”

    (Three minutes later a woman comes out with a large drink cup with water and just looks at me and the fire and just stands there. I take the cup from her hands and douse the fire. I gave the cup back to her and drove off.)

    Decent Management Has Gone Down The Toilet

    , | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

    (It’s a slower morning, so the manager on shift is having us do some extra cleaning. He assigns me to clean the walls in the customer bathrooms. I finish the men’s room and move on to the women’s. As I’m cleaning, a customer walks in.)

    Customer: “Oh, should I come back?”

    Me: “No, no, it’s okay. You go ahead. I can come back in a few minutes.”

    (I go back to the kitchen to work on another task while I wait.)

    Manager: “All finished?”

    Me: “Not quite, someone came in before I was done. I’ll go back in a couple minutes.”

    Manager: “You should have made her wait.”

    (I think he’s joking, so I half laugh at it. I finish cleaning the bathroom and the manager comes up to me again.)

    Manager: *completely serious* “Next time, block the door with something and don’t let them come in.”

    Bacon Begone

    , | London, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am visiting London at a time when they are having a 99p sale on bacon double cheeseburgers. However, the “bacon” is a limp piece of meat instead of the crispy strip my American tastes prefer; furthermore, the bacon double is prepared with no condiments on it.)

    Me: “Can I just get a regular double cheeseburger for 99p? I don’t like the bacon double.”

    Cashier: “No, the double cheeseburgers are regular price.”

    Me: “But they’re basically the same thing. In fact, the regular double doesn’t have the bacon on it, so its ingredients probably cost less anyway.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, the double cheeseburger is regular price.”

    Me: “All right, then, I’ll order a bacon double. But can I get it ‘my way?'”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    Me: “I’ll have ketchup on it.”

    Cashier: *typing this into the register* “Okay.”

    Me: “And mustard, please. And pickles.”

    Cashier: *also typing this into the register* “Okay.”

    Me: “And just one other change; hold the bacon.”

    (The cashier instantly realizes what I’ve done and gives me a dirty look. But I got my 99p regular double cheeseburger!)

    Totally Out Of Order

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “Hi, could I please have a [breakfast sandwich] on a sesame seed bagel, with a cinnamon roll and a [Cola], please?”

    Cashier: *rings everything in properly* “That will be [total], please.”

    (I pay, and she starts getting my order ready. She comes back after a moment.)

    Cashier: “Sorry, we’re all out of [donut I didn’t order]. Would you like something else instead?”

    Me: *slightly confused* “Um… no problem. Can I have a cinnamon bun?”

    (She gets the cinnamon bun for me and goes to get my drink. Again, she comes back empty handed.)

    Cashier: “I’m so sorry to do this again, but we’re out of [drink I didn’t order] as well.”

    Me: “Can I get a [Cola], please?”

    (She brings my drink back, just as the person making my sandwich steps up.)

    Sandwich Person: “Sorry, but we’re out of [bagel I didn’t order]…”

    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 5

    , | ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are babysitting our friend’s five-year-old son so that she can attend a Christmas party for her work. We decide, since he is behaving well, to order pizza for dinner while we watch his ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ movies. I call and am placing the order:)

    Friend’s Son: “Can I tell the lady what I would like on my pizza?”

    Me: “Sure. Speak clearly and use your manners.”

    Friend’s Son: “Okay!” *into the phone* “Pepperoni on my pizza, please!”

    (I take the phone back and he runs to play with his trains.)

    Me: “Okay, on the second pizza I would like…” *I prattle off a list of vegetables, as I am a vegetarian and my friend loves veggie pizza anyway*

    Worker: “Anything else?”

    Me: “Yeah, are there any veggies I forgot?”

    Worker: *silent for almost a minute* “Umm… ham? I don’t know my vegetables.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Worker: “So, ham?”

    Me: “No, thanks. Uh, that’s all.”

    (I hang up the phone and tell my friend what happened, to which he laughs and is simultaneously shocked and amused.)

    Me: “Let me test something.” *calls five-year-old over* “Honey, is ham a meat or a vegetable?”

    Friend’s Son: *confused* “It is a meat! Why?”

    Me: “The pizza lady thought it was a vegetable.”

    Friend’s Son: *digging in his toy drawer for more train tracks* “Maybe she should go back to kindergarten.”

    Related:
    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 4
    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 3
    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 2


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