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  • What A Total D#
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    Must Be Someone Of Note

    , | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Coworkers

    (Recently, I’ve cut my hours due to my grades slipping in school. On one of the nights I used to work I stay home to study for an exam while my parents and brother went to get dinner at my workplace. My mom is trying to divide their order to use multiple coupons while my trainer is watching.)

    Trainer: “Hun, you don’t need to do multiple orders. I can take all those coupons for you in one.”

    Mom: “Oh, thank you!”

    Trainer: *after taking my family’s order* “How’s [My Name] doing? I miss seeing her around.”

    Mom: “She’s been hard at work. She misses coming here.”

    Coworker: *grabs a 12 lb. bag and a marker and starts writing on the bag*

    Trainer: “We all miss her. Hopefully she’ll do better.”

    Dad: “We hope the same.”

    Coworker: “[Trainer]? Can you come here?”

    (My family didn’t know it until they received their order, but my coworker and my trainer wrote a note for me on the bag. I still keep the bag with their notes.)

    Finally Off The Hook

    , | OH, USA | Bigotry, Coworkers

    (It is a rather slow day at my workplace. For the past year, one of my coworkers has been trying to hook me up with male customers, which I turn down. Her boyfriend shows up with her son while she goes on break. When she comes back, she is chatting about her son.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey, [My Name]. Do you want any kids?”

    Me: *restocking my station* “Nope.”

    Coworker #1: “Do you want to get married?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Coworker #1: “Do you want a boyfriend?”

    Me: “Had one. Broke up with him. Don’t want another.”

    Coworker: “Why not?”

    Me: “I discovered I was asexual and aromantic when I was dating.”

    Coworker #1: “So you have sex with yourself?”

    Me: “No. It means I don’t want sex, just like aromantic means I don’t want any relationships other than familial or friendly.”

    Coworker #1: “Oh my gosh, [My Name]! You’re a woman! You’re made to make babies!”

    Me: “No. I am made to make high scores, art, stories, and honor to my God. Possibly even become a CSI.”

    (One of my other female coworkers who’s been listening in speaks up.)

    Coworker #2: “Amen, sistah!” *high-fives me*

    Coworker #1: *fumes off*

    Coworker #2: “So, what were those terms again? Because I think I’m one of those, too…”

    A Carb-Loaded Statement

    , | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Coworker: “Hey, does carbonara sauce contain carbon?”

    Me: “I would assume so, since it’s the building block of just about all organic matter.”

    Coworker: “So that means that it’s called carbonara, because it contains carbon?”

    Me: “I don’t think that’s it…”

    Trying To Milk The Situation

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, New Hires

    (I’m the newest and youngest employee at a fast food restaurant. Because of this the manager seems to think I’m completely incompetent and tends to watch me too carefully and step in when it’s not necessary.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir! What would you like today?”

    Customer: “Ah yes. Can I please have a medium hot chocolate? And can you make it half milk? It’s just too sweet for me.”

    Me: “Of course. That’ll be [price].”

    (I go off to make the drink. At this point, my manager is watching me like a hawk.)

    Me: “Here you are!”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    (Moments later, the man comes back to counter.)

    Customer: “Hi, sorry! The milk just made the drink cold. Haha! I guess I didn’t think that through. Could you just add some more hot chocolate into this?”

    Me: “Oh, I’ll just make you a new one. Let me just—”

    (My manager suddenly appears beside me and interrupts.)

    Manager: “Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. She’s new and she just doesn’t know what she’s doing. Would you like anything from the display? A muffin? A donut? Maybe a bagel? I’m so sorry. She’s still learning and—”

    Customer: “Woah, there. She did nothing wrong and the drink was completely my fault. She’s doing fine on her own. So, do you mind?”

    Manager: “Oh… yes. But of course.” *sulks away*

    Me: *trying to hide the biggest smile on my face* “Ah, yes. So, the hot chocolate…”

    The Meat Of The Problem

    , | OH, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Though not a vegetarian, I love a good egg and cheese breakfast sandwich. I am in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi! I’d like a [combo], with no meat, and a coffee to drink.”

    Cashier: “So you want [sandwich] with sausage instead?”

    Me: “No. No meat. Just egg and cheese, please!”

    Cashier: “It comes with ham.”

    Me: “No, thanks! I just want egg and cheese.”

    Cashier: “The sandwich comes with ham. If you want it without meat, you have to order it without meat.”

    Me: *thinking that’s what I had just done* “Then I would like it in the combo with no meat, please.”

    Cashier: “With coffee to drink?”

    Me: “Yes, please!”

    (The rest of the transaction goes just fine. I got home and found that my breakfast sandwich with no meat was a fish sandwich with an egg patty on it.)

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