• Checked Out At The Checkout
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    Making A Clean Start

    | GA, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (After being hired on and trained at one gas station, the company sends me to another location on the outskirts of town to be my normal store. Immediately upon arriving, I notice how gross the station is: bugs crawling all over everything, the floor in desperate need of mopping, and a cappuccino machine that has never been cleaned. I do my best to clean what I can, but with no one else cleaning, it’s a losing battle. However, I have a light at the end of the tunnel: there’s a big inspection in one week, with the owner of the place showing up personally. I work that night, and come in excitedly to hear how badly we failed.)

    Coworker: “Hello, [My Name].”

    Me: “Hi! How did inspection go?”

    Coworker: “Oh, we got an x—” *mumbles*

    Me: *hopes rising* “An ‘X’? What does that mean?”

    Coworker: “An EX-cellent. We only got three demerits! The owner was impressed.”

    (The worst part? The cappuccino machine wasn’t even one of the demerits.)

    Biking Over To Weirdtown

    | Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’ve had a pretty rough day so far. In order to cheer myself up, I ride my bike to a gas station to buy some snacks.)

    Station Attendant: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I am afraid that your vehicle emission level is too low. You would have to leave and come back in a vehicle with higher emissions.”

    Me: *confused* “Seriously?”

    Station Attendant: “No, just joking. By the way, my vehicle would not have enough emissions, as well.”

    Me: “You ride a bike, too? Cool!”

    (Later, as I am checking out:)

    Station Attendant: “Now press the green button. Now enter your PIN. Now, put your thumb on the fingerprint scanner.”

    Me: *confused* “What scanner?” *then I realize he is joking again*

    Station Attendant: “Now, stare right here into the retinal scanner. By the way, you should wait a couple minutes before leaving the store, because you were just blinded by the laser.”

    (This was a somewhat weird, but really funny encounter with a customer service rep. Thank you, attendant guy, for making my day a little brighter!)

    Stealing Away For A Break

    | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work at a petrol station. As is the case with many stations, we do get theft, but have been told to never single anyone out or judge people on appearance. A coworker and I notice a customer coming in, the only one as it is around 11 pm at the time.)

    Coworker: *loudly, but whispering to me* “LOOK AT HIM!” *points to the customer*

    Me: “Yes? What about him?”

    Coworker: “He’s CLEARLY going to steal something. You can just tell. I’m going to check the cameras!”

    Me: “Okay… then?”

    (A couple of other customers come in the pay for their petrol or buy small items. As she has left me alone, I am the only one on the checkouts now. I serve all three quickly. The original customer comes up last.)

    Me: “Is that all today?”

    Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

    Me: “By the way… and sorry if this is left field. I’m in no way accusing you of anything here.. but you haven’t got anything in your pockets, have you, sir?”

    (The customer laughs a bit, then winks at me, pulling out his wallet to pay. It’s got a police officer’s badge on it.)

    Customer: “I should hope I don’t. I don’t really feel like calling it in off-duty.”

    (We both laughed and I explained the coworker had ran upstairs to monitor him because he was wearing a hoodie in the store. We laughed more at this and went on with our day. The coworker came back about half an hour later, having taken a nice, relaxing break on the cameras – and I had a line of eight customers who were getting grumpy at the wait for a simple purchase.)


    | Bristol, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Geography, Job Seekers

    (I recently moved from Los Angeles, CA, to Small Town, CT, for work at a specific sports company based in Connecticut. I haven’t gotten around to changing over my California driver’s license yet. I make the mistake of stopping in to buy cigarettes.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I have a pack of [Brand]?”

    Cashier: “Sure, can I see ID?”

    Me: “Of course, here you go.”

    Cashier: “California?!”

    Me: “Yup, just moved here. I’ll get an updated ID soon.”

    Cashier: *practically screeching* “WHY ARE YOU IN CONNECTICUT, THEN?!”

    Me: “I lost my job in Los Angeles, and it’s really expensive to live there even with a job, so I moved back east to stay with family and then I was offered a job at [Well Known Company just up the road]. I couldn’t say no.”

    Cashier: *snotty now* “Why in the world would you ever leave California? I mean you could live on the beach if you were homeless; it’s not like you’d need money!”

    Me: “Um, no, I have student loans and other bills that need to get paid. Besides, it’s not everyday you’re offered a job, so it’s kind a really good opportunity.”

    Cashier: “I don’t care. You NEVER should have left California. I don’t care what kind of job I was offered. I would have never left!”

    Me: “Okay, well, good for you. Career-wise it made sense for me to move to work here.”

    Cashier: “I don’t care. I can’t believe you would move. That’s just so crazy. Why would you do that?!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s enough. Give me cigarettes and my beverage and stop questioning my life choices, unless you want me to start asking about yours!”

    Cashier: “Well, fine, but there is no need to get snotty about it!”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (As I’m leaving she calls out again:)

    Cashier: “I just don’t understand why you would leave California! You’re crazy!”

    Should Try The Self-Checkout Next Time

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am the customer in this story, buying drinks from a gas station. I work in retail myself. The cashier rings me out like normal until after the last register beep.)

    Me: “Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Cashier: *looking at me like I have horns*

    Me: “Oh, my god, I cannot believe I just did that. I’m a cashier myself and didn’t realize how much of a habit that had become! I’m so sorry!”

    Cashier: *dies of laughter*

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