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  • Will Never Claim Ignorance
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  • Radio Inactive, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m at the hospital about to have major surgery to correct a birth defect. I’ve been getting x-rays quite a bit over the previous few months and am asked the same questions every time.)

    Tech: “Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

    Me: “No. Look, I realize you have to ask but I’m 13 years old and have my mother sitting right next to me. If there was a chance, do you REALLY think I would tell the truth?”

    Tech: “…”

    Mom: *almost falling over laughing*

    Radio Inactive

    Go At Lunch Like Animals

    | CA, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (It’s lunch time, and Coworker #1 has promised to go get Coworker #2 her lunch because he is the only one with a working car at the moment. Coworker #2 has asked to have lunch from a well known fast food chain. Coworker #2 is a woman nearing retirement.)

    Coworker #1: “So you just want a hamburger and a shake?”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, that’s about it.”

    Coworker #1: “So do you want that regular or animal style?”

    Coworker #2: “Honey, I haven’t had animal style for a long, long time. Probably the last time Elvis was here.”

    (It took the rest of our lunch to stop laughing.)

    Getting A Strop About Strep

    | PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Top

    (I get strep throat twice per year. Despite this, I have never been approved to get my tonsils removed. Every year, it gets so bad that I reach a fever of more than 105°F and my throat nearly swells shut. I’ve been told more than once that if I had waited longer than I did to see a doctor I may have died. This normally happens within 24 hours and I ALWAYS know when it’s coming. One night, when I’m stricken with strep throat, I go to the hospital and insist they give me antibiotics.)

    Nurse: “So, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

    Me: “It’s strep. I get it every six months, pretty severely.”

    Nurse: “How long have you been feeling your symptoms?”

    Me: “Since yesterday.”

    Nurse: “Only since yesterday and you came to the ER?”

    Me: “Yes. My doctor’s office is closed and I risk dying if I don’t get antibiotics right away.”

    Nurse: *in disbelief* “Oookayy. Well, I’m going to do a flu test, so—”

    Me: “No, do a strep test. I know its strep. I’m not going to pay for a flu test that’s going to be negative anyway.”

    Nurse: “I’ll do the flu test and if it comes back negative I’ll do a strep test.”

    Me: “That’s a waste of time. Just do a strep test.”

    (She does a flu test on me, and to the surprise of no one, it comes back negative.)

    Nurse: “Well, I think you’ll be fine. You’re free to go home.”

    Me: “WHAT?! No! May I please speak to another doctor?”

    (An actual doctor comes in a few minutes later.)

    Doctor: “Hi, honey. How are you doing?” *looks in my throat* “Oh goodness. Sweetie, I don’t mean to offend you but you look terrible. You definitely have strep. I’m not even going to do a test. Do you prefer amoxicillin or penicillin?”

    Laughter Is The Best Medicine

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My mother has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m in grad school and I decide to skip a few classes to be with her for the week. Fortunately, she makes a full recovery. One of the highlights of the week is a phone conversation with a nurse at the hospital, who needs to get my mother’s medical history.)

    Nurse: “Have you ever had heart disease?”

    Mother: “No.”

    Nurse: “Lung disease?”

    Mother: “No.”

    Nurse: “Arthritis?”

    Mother: “No.”

    Nurse: “Psychiatric disorders?”

    Mother: “No.”

    Nurse: “Cancer?”

    Mother: “… Well, not until last Tuesday!”

    (The nurse was horrified and kept apologizing, but on our end, no one could stop laughing.)


    | Australia | Employees, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m in a hospital waiting to get my X-ray done. Eventually it’s my turn and the X-ray tech is getting me changed in a little cubicle with some folded hospital gowns on the bench.)

    Tech: “So I’ll need you to take everything off, including the bra, but you can leave your underwear and socks. Once you’re done just come into the room.”

    (The tech starts to leave but quickly turns back.)

    Tech: “Oh wait. I mean, put on a gown so it’s open at the back, and then come in!”

    (We both laugh and she closes the door. After I get changed I walk in and she gets me seated on the X-ray bed.)

    Tech: “Sorry. I know you probably knew what I meant, but you always need to be specific when you get people changed. You’d be surprised how many people come out completely naked!”

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