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    Give This Bedside Manner The Cold Shoulder

    | Australia | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I have recently had a baby, and am having a conversation with the nurse.)

    Me: “I’m a little terrified. I mean… what if I drop him or something?”

    Nurse: “Babies are relatively parent proof. You could drop him from waist height and you’d be fine! From shoulder height you may have a problem, though…”

    Me: *clings to newborn*

    Ignoring The Pink Elephant Of Ignorance

    | UK | Coworkers, Pets & Animals, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m leaving to go on holiday over Christmas.)

    Colleague: “Have a great time in India. I want to see a photo of an elephant when you come back.”

    Me: “Indian elephant or an African elephant?”

    Colleague: “Either, really. What’s the difference?”

    Got A Bad Gut Feeling About This

    | Cornwall, England, UK | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Theme Of The Month

    (I am seven years old and have been suffering from stomach pains for a week or so. I had stopped eating a couple of days before but my mum has giving me milkshakes and other liquid things to keep me sustained. After I stop drinking, we go to our local 24-hour doctor to see what is going on. They gave me a couple of scans and send us to the main hospital in the county.)

    Doctor: “So, what seems to be the issue?”

    Mum: “She’s been suffering from stomach pains, hasn’t been eating properly, and a couple of hours ago started refusing drinks. Her stomach is distended, too.”

    Doctor: *without even looking at me* “Okay, she clearly has tonsillitis. She doesn’t need to be here. I don’t know why [24-hour doctor] sent you here or why they wasted time giving you any scans.”

    Mum: “She’s seven-years old and regularly suffers from tonsillitis. I think she’d know if it was her throat hurting, and I’ve never seen her tonsils cause her stomach to swell up. Can I speak to somebody in charge of the ward, please?”

    Doctor: *grumbles* “Okay, fine.” *storms off*

    (When the head of the ward came over, he took one look at my stomach, gave it a couple of prods to find out where the pain was and, after a couple more scans, discovered I had acute appendicitis and severe peritonitis from where my appendix had burst and started poisoning me by turning septic. I was in surgery first thing the next morning, and the original doctor who saw me was under supervision for the entire week I was in hospital.)

    Nurses That Shoot From The Hip

    | London, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My mother had just given birth to me, and they are doing all the regular checks.)

    Nurse: “I think the baby might have a slight problem with her hips. I’ll just get the doctor to have a look. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

    Doctor: *without examining me* “Oh for goodness sake, she’s fine. You’re that nurse that thought the baby this morning had Downs’ because it was ugly.”

    Nurse: “With all due respect, the baby this morning exhibited many facial characteristics consistent with Downs’ Syndrome. This baby is showing signs of clicky hips. Please, just humour me.”

    Doctor: “No. I’m the doctor here. You’re just a nurse.” *to my mother* “There is nothing wrong with your child.”

    (I’m now 21 and waiting for surgery to repair damage caused by not having this condition dealt with at birth.)

    Radio Inactive, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m at the hospital about to have major surgery to correct a birth defect. I’ve been getting x-rays quite a bit over the previous few months and am asked the same questions every time.)

    Tech: “Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

    Me: “No. Look, I realize you have to ask but I’m 13 years old and have my mother sitting right next to me. If there was a chance, do you REALLY think I would tell the truth?”

    Tech: “…”

    Mom: *almost falling over laughing*

    Radio Inactive

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