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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Saying It Over And Ovarian

    | Long Beach, CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion

    (I have to have a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I am literally slowly bleeding to death. I am 42, and I never had or wanted children. The disease has rendered me completely sterile, so the point is moot. As I’m checking into the hospital for pre-lab work, the nurse examining me chirps in.)

    Nurse: “You know this surgery will make you sterile?”

    Me: “Yes, I know, but I’m already sterile from the disease anyway.”

    Nurse: “That means you can’t have a baby.”

    Me: “Fine, I know. I don’t want any.”

    (This goes on back and forth until the nurse is practically shouting at me about how a hysterectomy means that I ‘can’t make widdle adowable babieeees.’ Once all the lab work is done, I high-tail it out of there, thinking that the nurse is a few bricks shy of a load. Fast forward to four days later, the morning of my surgery. Sure enough, it’s that same nurse.)

    Nurse: “You realize you won’t be able to have children after the surgery?”

    Me: “Yes, I know. I never wanted any. Never will.”

    Nurse: “Are you sure you don’t want to have one before the surgery? We can tell the doctor you want to postpone the operation!”

    Me: “I am having the surgery to save my life as I keep hemorrhaging! I know I won’t have a child after they remove my uterus, Fallopian tubes, and ovaries. I’m sterile now. I’ve always been sterile, and I do NOT want a baby!”

    Nurse: *huffs at me* “Well! You know your godly duty as a woman is to have children! You’re going to Hell!”

    (Yup, I reported her to my surgeon before I went under the knife and I didn’t see that nurse for the rest of my hospital stay.)

    Has A Bone To Pick With Your Prognosis

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’d fallen on my hand while being slung playing a local game of AFL football. After waiting for over two hours in the emergency room and having an x-ray on my wrist I finally get to talk to the doctor.)

    Doctor: “Well, it doesn’t look like you’ve hurt yourself, so you can leave.”

    Me: “Do you mind if I have a look? I’m studying exercise rehabilita—”

    Doctor: “I do mind. It’s a busy Saturday and I don’t care to have my opinion verified by you.”

    (She finally gives me something for the pain and I get a lift home. On Monday morning I get an interesting phone call.)

    Caller: “Hi, this is the head of radiology at the hospital. We were just reviewing the x-rays from your emergency. We need you to come in as you’ve actually broken a bone in your wrist.”

    (I was in the hospital by mid-afternoon and in surgery two days later to pin my scaphoid back together. Luckily I didn’t need a bone transplant from my hip. Turns out she thought it was two separate bones. It was nice to have the head of radiology make a cast for me, though, with his sincere apologies!)

    Let Up Everybody And His Brother

    | New Haven. CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My brother goes to pick up my 14-year-old daughter from having her operation. She’d gone in for minor surgery.)

    Brother: “Hi, I’m—”

    Nurse #1: “Room [number], Mr. [Brother].”

    (My brother goes upstairs and goes to the room. A doctor and another nurse are already there. My daughter is currently very weak.)

    Doctor: *seeing my brother enter* “Yes?”

    Brother: “Hi, I’m here to pick up [Daughter]. I’m her uncle.”

    Doctor: “Well… [Nurse #2], could you just call down to the lobby?” *to my brother* “We didn’t get a call to say you were coming up to visit her.”

    Brother: “I’m picking her up.”

    Doctor: “She’s leaving at 7:15 pm.”

    (It’s 1:45 pm. We were told 2.)

    Brother: “No. I was told by the nurse downstairs to come here.”

    Doctor: *getting out a radio* “I’ll just ask.”

    (He talks on the radio for a minute before glancing back at my brother. He then turns it off.)

    Brother: “Well? Can I take [Daughter] out?”

    Doctor: “No. Security has been called and will be here shortly. The nurse downstairs said she NEVER sent you up here and didn’t say to anyone beside this girl’s father that she needed visiting.”

    Brother: *worried* “Look, I AM her uncle. You can call her mother.”

    Doctor: “I don’t need to do anything else.” *gets radio again* “Err, [Nurse #1], who did you send up here?”

    Nurse #1: *barely audible* “Girl’s father. I recognized him.”

    (My husband and brother look nothing like each other.)

    Doctor: “Okay.” *turns radio off* “You are not going ANYWHERE with this girl!”

    (Security guards arrive and begin escorting my brother downstairs. The police had been called and at that moment I am arriving to drive them home when I see the car. I rush in and find my brother being taken out.)

    Me: “[Brother]? What’s going on?!”

    (The guards tell me everything after I am verified by several different people that I am related to my daughter.)

    Me: “God, this is stupid; he’s her uncle!”

    Doctor: “No, the nurse said she sent the father up and she didn’t recognise this guy. Are you sure your brother—”

    Me: “I KNOW that my brother was sent here. Where IS the nurse?”

    (Nurse #1 comes over.)

    Nurse #1: “Ma’am, I saw your husband in the lobby and he was asking me for directions, so I gave him the way to the room. I made sure the right guy went. But they asked because the wrong guy had come up. So I got security.”

    Me: “This is ridiculous. We were told to collect her now, and you let a guy go in without confirmation because you thought you knew who he was?”

    (We never went back to that hospital.)

    Give This Bedside Manner The Cold Shoulder

    | Australia | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I have recently had a baby, and am having a conversation with the nurse.)

    Me: “I’m a little terrified. I mean… what if I drop him or something?”

    Nurse: “Babies are relatively parent proof. You could drop him from waist height and you’d be fine! From shoulder height you may have a problem, though…”

    Me: *clings to newborn*

    Ignoring The Pink Elephant Of Ignorance

    | UK | Coworkers, Pets & Animals, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m leaving to go on holiday over Christmas.)

    Colleague: “Have a great time in India. I want to see a photo of an elephant when you come back.”

    Me: “Indian elephant or an African elephant?”

    Colleague: “Either, really. What’s the difference?”


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