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  • Don’t Just Be Married To Work
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  • It’s A Warzone Up There

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have a huge wedding party, over 100 guests. They are making noise in the hallways, breaking things in the lobby, and in their rooms. Despite repeated attempts to quiet them down, they refuse to stop. Our security can’t even handle them. I call my manager.)

    Me: “[Manager], what should I do? I’ve had multiple complaints from these people. I’ve talked to the groom and every time he says he’ll quiet down, but he always starts them up again.”

    Manager: “Okay, call the police. We can’t have this.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hang up and call the police, and explain the situation. They send two officers to speak with the groom. After a while, they come back down to speak with me.)

    Officer: “So… do you want to kick the groom out?”

    Me: “Yes! I’ve told him so many times to stop. He doesn’t listen and keeps partying and disturbing others. Plus, the groom has over 20 people in his room, which is against the fire code. Please escort him off.”

    Officer: “No can do. He’s a private in the military.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Officer: “We don’t touch military people. But it’s okay. We’ve spoken to him and he promises to keep his guests in check. Call us if he doesn’t…”

    (They left and I stood there, dumbfounded. The groom and his guests continued to raise h*** all night long, and I called my manager and explained what the officers said. My manager was just as shocked as I. The next day, my manager took the groom’s name and reported him to his commanding officer. We eventually discovered that the groom was demoted and kicked out of the military for his behavior!)

    Sign Me Up For A Laugh

    | USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworkers, Coworker #1 and #2, work together in the restaurant making the guest breakfast. Coworker #1 knows English but no Spanish, and Coworker #2 knows Spanish but very little English. They talk by signing with their hands. I’m watching their conversation.)

    Coworker #1: *signing* “[Coworker #2], um… you no… washing… today? Today?”

    Coworker #2: *signing* “Um… No. No.”

    Coworker #1: *signing* “Um… what… you make… yesterday?”

    Coworker #2: “Um… eggs. Ham.”

    (They continue with me watching; and I’m very amused and amazed at how well they can ‘talk’ with signs. Another coworker approaches me.)

    Coworker #3: “[My Name], don’t you know Spanish?”

    Me: “A little bit…”

    Coworker #3: “Well, why don’t you help translate between them?”

    Me: “I would but… they are much funnier this way!”

    Valet Delay

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (A few friends and I take a road trip. We’re all young-ish professionals (late 20′s to early 30′s). We drive my friend’s very nice, but certainly not ‘exotic’ car. The hotel rooms are in my name. My friend drops his car at valet and we head up to our rooms. I discover I’ve forgotten something, and decide to drive to a store and buy a replacement so I can get the brand I prefer.)

    Me: “Hi. Sorry to do this to you since we just dropped it off, but I need to get our car out.” *hand the valet the ticket*

    Valet: “It’s really no problem, ma’am. Can I see your ID to confirm this is your room?”

    (I show it and he checks it against the computer.)

    Valet: “I’ll have it up front for you in just a minute.”

    (He walks back into the valet office and I walk out to the front driveway of the hotel. A minute later, the valet appears out front, on foot.)

    Valet: “Ma’am, could you please describe the car for me?”

    Me: “Sure, it’s a black [make and model], it has a [State] vanity license plate that reads [license plate].”

    Valet: “Uh, huh. And this is your car?”

    Me: “Well, no, it belongs to the friend I’m sharing a room with. But it should be booked in under [room number], which is under my name. We can call my friend to confirm it’s okay I take it out, if you need to. He’s in the room.”

    Valet: *taking a very snarky tone* “Uh, huh, sure. I think I’m going to need your ‘friend’ to come down here in person and confirm that.”

    Me: “That seems like a bit of an inconvenience given that it’s booked in under my room number and I’ve shown you my ID, but I guess I can ask him to do that.”

    (I pull out my phone to text him and ask him to come down.)

    Valet: “Make sure to tell him to bring ID so I can confirm that car belongs to him.”

    Me: “Um, okay. I know it’s a nice car, but this is also a luxury hotel, so it shouldn’t be all that surprising to have guests driving that kind of car. You have several nicer cars waiting to be parked right here in the driveway.”

    (While I pace around waiting for my friend to come down, I notice two guys in suits standing a few feet away watching me very carefully. Slowly it’s dawning on me that the valet thinks I’m trying to steal the car. My friend arrives after a few minutes.)

    Friend: “Hey, man. That’s my car she’s trying to take out. Here’s my driver’s license, as you requested. There are four of us on this trip, so could I just register their names with you so that any of us can take it out without me explicitly allowing it every time, or at least register that anyone in a room under her name has permission?”

    (The valet nods, and the suited dudes walk up to us.)

    Suit #1: “Sir, please let me see that ID. Is the registration for the car on you or in the vehicle? You say you’re a guest here?”

    (Unfortunately for all these guys, my friend is kind of a drama queen, and ALSO a young self-made entrepreneur.)

    Friend: “You bet your ass I’m a guest here, but I’m also a GUEST of my friend here, who just happens to be a premiere member of your loyalty club and has three rooms under her name in your hotel right now. So I suggest you stop harassing us and start treating us like the valued guests we both are, before I have your jobs. If I gave my clients this kind of attitude after they’ve proven their bona fides TWICE, I’d never be able to afford that really nice car you won’t go and fetch for me. NOW!”

    (We got the car, as well as a note in our room later indicating that the hotel had waived our parking fees for our stay for our troubles. The valet didn’t mess with us again, but he did miss out on some nice tips!)

    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 7

    | MN, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology, Transportation

    (I’m working front desk at a hotel when I see two cabs pull up in front of the hotel at the same time. The first cab has no passenger in it, but the driver get out and opens the back door, suddenly looking very confused. The second cab unloads a passenger and her suitcase from the backseat. She says something to the first driver as she’s walking in. The first driver suddenly looks embarrassed, jumps back in his cab, and drives away quickly. The woman is laughing as she comes in the door.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

    Woman: “Did you see that guy! We followed him all the way from the airport! He was in the front of the taxi queue when I got there but the whole time he was supposed to be helping me he was on his phone. Even when I tried to tell him where I was going he didn’t get off his stupid phone! Finally I got his attention enough to tell him the address here but then he just sat there talking. So I got out and got in the cab behind him. Apparently he didn’t hear me because he came all the way here without noticing I got out!”

    (It’s about 30 miles from the airport to our hotel, making it a $50 cab fare. The guy drove the whole trip with no passenger because he was so distracted on his phone!)

    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 4
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 3

    Hotels Charge Per Knight Rider

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Awesome Workers, Top, Transportation

    (It’s the end of November. I’ve just finished making a reservation for a guest that will be coming in Christmas day to spend with his family.)

    Me: “Is there anything else that I can do for you today?”

    Guest: *joking* “You could always get a me a new car?”

    Me: *laughs* “I will see what we can do about that, sir. See you on Christmas Day.”

    (Two days before the guest comes in I go to the store and pick up a couple of hot-wheel type cars for some of my coworkers, just for fun. I decide to keep a small ‘Knight Rider’ one for the guest who wanted a new car. It comes to the time I am checking him in.)

    Me: *handing him the wrapped car* “And this was all our budget allowed for new cars for our favorite guests.”

    Guest: *unwraps the paper* “This is great! I always wanted one of these cars. I bet my wife would even let me keep this one!”

    (The guest was very happy as he ran off to go show his wife his new car.)

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