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    Graduate To A Better Hotel

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (In about a year my son is graduating from a large university with over 10,000 graduates. We have to make our hotel reservation really early to guarantee a room. I am calling the front desk of a particular hotel back about a room on the date they told me they’d start taking reservations.)

    Employee: “Hello, this is [Hotel] in [Town]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “Yes I’d like two rooms for this time next year for the college graduation. I need the room from [date] to [date].”

    (I am requesting a room for three days and two nights. It will be from a Thursday to Saturday.)

    Employee: “I am sorry but due to the fact that it is graduation weekend your reservation needs to be for at least two nights.”

    Me: “It is.”

    Employee: “How?”

    Me: “Thursday night and Friday night.”

    Employee: “Oh! That doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Employee: “Because it needs to be two weekend nights.”

    Me: “So you’re going to make me stay an extra night even though the ceremonies end on Friday and I have no reason to stay an extra night?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    (This goes back and forth for a couple of minutes with me trying to convince her that I should be able to get the room for the dates I want. I don’t have any luck.)

    Me: “Okay? So how much are rooms anyways?”

    Employee: “$600 per room per night.”

    (Note that this three-star hotel usually charges no more than $200 per night per room.)

    Me: “So, you want me to pay an extra $1200 for two rooms I don’t need.”

    Employee: “I guess.”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but not only is that a lot for a room I don’t have the extra money to spend on a room I don’t want. Nor do I want to. I will be booking somewhere else.”

    Employee: “Fine then! We don’t want customers like you anyway. Someone else will gladly take this room. Good luck finding a better deal.”

    Me: “Good-bye.”

    (I did find a room at a different hotel for closer to $250 per night per room who treated me a lot nicer and thanked me for my service. They also didn’t make me charge for a night I didn’t want.)

    Use The Malt Wine

    | Malta | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (My mother and I are in Malta to scatter my Maltese father’s ashes. We ask the hotel restaurant’s manager to arrange a buffet after the scattering for my father’s Maltese friends and relatives.)

    Manager: “And the guests, will they be Maltese or British?”

    My Mother: “Maltese.”

    Manager: “Right, I’ll use the good wine.”

    On The Other Side Of The Coin, No Tip For You

    , | LA, USA | Employees, Money

    (I used to tend bar and wait tables, so I usually overtip for decent service. While on vacation, I visit a hotel bar for a bottle of something. I receive the drink and hand the bartender the money. She gives me the appropriate bills back but not the coins.)

    Me: “This change isn’t correct.”

    Bartender: “Oh, did you want your coin change, too?”

    Me: “…Well, yes.”

    Bartender: *gives me the coins*

    (Instead of my usual generous tip, I left her nothing.)

    They’re All Dog-Gone Crazy

    | GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, New Hires, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve worked night audit at a hotel for several years, and enjoy my job, but put in my notice because my family is relocating. The application/interview/hiring/training people experience two hires who don’t bother calling in or showing up for their first night of training, and one hire who actually shows up, but only for the first night. Finally, we find someone who shows up and seems trainable. One night we have a lull, and are chit-chatting about our pets.)

    Me: “The boss is awesome. After a nearby property had been robbed, he allowed me to bring my husband’s police K9 with me to work for a few nights.”

    Trainee: “I always bring my dog to work.”

    Me: “Uh… such a thing would have to be cleared by the manager.”

    Trainee: “But my dog is in my purse right now!”

    (I am a little shocked, thinking that eight hours inside a purse isn’t really ideal! Turned out that the dog in question had been dead for some time, and that the trainee carried his ashes everywhere, because she ‘just knew’ someone would break into her house and steal her precious puppy! By this point, there was no time to hire anyone else, so I finished the training I could do, and moves away. A couple of weeks later, the new employee quit, because ‘no one had told her that the job would be overnight, and no one had trained her to do the audit.’)

    The Hot Tub Is Alive!

    | CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre/Silly

    (It is early morning when a guest calls the front desk.)

    Guest: “Hey there. I was wondering if I could use the hot tub?”

    Me: “Well, it’s on a timer. I’ll have to get it started manually… IGOR!!”

    ‘Igor': “Yesh, marshter?”

    Me: “Activate… the steam converter!”

    ‘Igor': “Ooh… Yesh… right away! Hee hee hee…”

    Me: “Okay, sir, just give it a minute or two to warm up, and it’ll be ready.”

    Guest: “Great! Just so we’re clear… that was you doing both voices, right?”

    Me: “Yeah, I try to make things a little more fun around here.”

    Guest: “Awesome! Thank you!”

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