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    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 4

    , | Aptos, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Health & Body

    (It is the fall of 2006 and I receive a telemarketing call.)

    Agent: “I’m calling to inform you that you qualify for a $15,000.00 life insurance policy with…”

    Me: “I’m a full time student being supported by my parents. Life insurance is worthless to me. I’m already worth more dead than I am alive.”

    Agent: “But, sir! It’s free until June of 2007!”

    Me: “Well, I plan to be alive in June of 2007, Mr. Optimist!”

    Agent: “I know we all want to hope for the best, but…”

    Me: *hangs up*

    Related:
    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 3
    Death Of A Sales Pitch, Part 2
    Death Of A Sales Pitch

    This Scam Has Been Going Around

    | PA, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (I work at an insurance agency for the summer doing random tasks around the office. The office is in a converted house, with a few desks in each room and large open doorways in between to talk to each other. There is also an upstairs that is technically another business but employs the same people. I start answering phones because everyone else is busy.)

    Me: “[Insurance Agency], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from your copier supply company. We just need to update our records. Can I please have the model number of your copier?”

    Me: “Um, sure. Hang on a second.”

    (I place the call on hold and tell one of the ladies next to me what’s going on. She laughs and tells me it’s a scam and I should just hang up, which I do. A few days later…)

    Me: “[Insurance Agency], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from your copier supply company. We just need to update our records. Could you tell me the model number of your copier?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not the person you want to speak with. Please hold, I’ll transfer you.”

    (I transferred the call to the desk next to me. After speaking to the caller, my coworker put the caller on hold and transferred him. We managed to transfer him to six different people, including people upstairs, before he hung up. It became our favorite game. Our record was 10 transfers, including back to the original person who had answered.)

    Unsure How To Insure, Part 5

    | TX, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (We left our insurance company for one month and are now going back to them with a slightly different policy. The insurance company needs proof of prior coverage from our previous insurer, which is them. But they can’t just get this from their records.)

    Me: “Let me see if I have this straight. You want me to call my previous insurer – which is you – and request that you fax me proof of my prior coverage… with you. I will then send that proof of prior coverage back to you to prove to you that we did in fact have coverage with you, 30 days ago.”

    Insurance Agent: “Yes, if you wouldn’t mind.”

    Me: “Mind? It’s awesome. I’ll be telling this story for years!”

    Related:
    Unsure How To Insure, Part 4
    Unsure How To Insure, Part 3
    Unsure How To Insure, Part 2

    Unsure How To Insure, Part 4

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I was in a car accident and had to fill out paperwork for the auto insurance company to reimburse the days of work I missed as a result of my injuries. They sent me a check and told me not to cash it until I got verification that they had received my paperwork, to avoid fraud. After about a month I was getting antsy, so I decided to call them.)

    Insurance Agent: “This is [Company]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hi. About a month ago I mailed some paperwork in regarding my reimbursement for my work days. I was told not to cash my check until I received something in the mail saying you received it. I was just hoping someone could check if my mail arriv—”

    Insurance Agent: “It hasn’t.”

    Me: “Oh… Uhm, you didn’t ask for my name or information.”

    Insurance Agent: “We haven’t received that sort of mail at this time. You need to mail it.”

    Me: “Well… I did. I did mail it. If it’s an issue with the post office then that’s all I need to know.”

    Insurance Agent: “We can mail you another copy of that paperwork if need be.”

    Me: “Sure, that’d be great.”

    (I received yet another copy in the mail, and mailed it with two-day delivery. Two months later, I still have not heard from an agent. I figure that the chances of the letter getting lost again are low, so I cash the check and hope for the best. A few days later I receive a call.)

    Insurance Agent: “Ma’am, it appears that it took you about four months to cash in your check. Why did you wait so long?”

    Me: “I was told not to touch it until I received verification, via mail, that you got my paperwork. The first letter was apparently lost somewhere, and I mailed my second copy two months ago, which should have been in your hands one month and 27 days ago.”

    Insurance Agent: “We have never had that rule for checks. We believe there is reason that you did not need that money after all.”

    Me: “Excuse me? When I talked to an agent on the phone, she told me not to touch it, and said it in the mail she herself sent me. The only reason I cashed the check is because I figured there’s no way the same kind of letter could get lost twice.”

    Insurance Agent: “An agent would not have told you that. But it shocks me that if that was a rule of ours, you cashed your check anyway.”

    Me: “Seriously? Could you tell me if you received my mail or not?”

    (The insurance agent takes my information. He insists that not only was my letter not delivered, but I must not have mailed it at all!)

    Me: “I mailed it. There’s no way the post office is this neglectful and so strategically coincidental to lose the same two pieces of mail a month apart. You have to have it.”

    Insurance Agent: “Ma’am, I’m disconnecting the call as you are threatening me.”

    Me: “WHAT?!”

    (The following week, an agent called me. He also insisted that my mail had not arrived, but stated that this wasn’t my fault, and this wasn’t the first call he’s gotten this month regarding lost mail! He apologized for the behavior of the caller, told me not to worry about implications of fraud, and said that I can keep my check. The mystery was never solved!)

    Related:
    Unsure How To Insure, Part 3
    Unsure How To Insure, Part 2
    From NotAlwaysRight.com
    Unsure How To Insure

    Should Have A Brain Scan

    | CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (This takes place in the early ‘90s. Our office has changed computer systems and has new terminals. On the front of the terminal is a green power light.)

    Coworker #1: “What’s the light for?”

    Coworker #2: “It is a retinal security system. You have to put your eye to it each time you login: morning, lunch, or break.”

    (A week later.)

    Supervisor: “[Coworker #1], what the f*** are you doing with your eye to the terminal?!”


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