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    Very Bad Reception, Part 11

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am junior executive of a solicitor company. Despite being one of the top firms in the UK we are also one of the cheapest with a reputation of taking almost any case, despite being no-win/no-fee in order to help out people who usually wouldn’t be able to afford legal aid.)

    Receptionist: *over intercom* “Miss [My Name], there is a very strange man here asking for you. Should I call security?”

    Me: “No, it’s okay. I’ll come down.”

    (I go to the front to see my boyfriend standing there, looking irritated.)

    Receptionist: “This man is insisting on talking with you. I told him that he has no business here.”

    Me: *to Receptionist* “This is my boyfriend. He’s here to take me to lunch.”

    (My boyfriend smirks as we leave. During lunch my boyfriend tells me how rude the receptionist was to him: that she was telling him he had no business there and that he wouldn’t be able to afford legal aid. My boyfriend is in no way scruffily dressed, but we don’t talk to our clients like that, anyway. I decide to talk to receptionist when I return to hear her side of the story. When I return there is an angry looking man standing by the receptionist.)

    Receptionist: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t help you.”

    Client: “This is ridiculous. I want to speak to someone in charge.”

    Receptionist: “That’s not possible. I’m sorry. You have to leave.”

    Me: “[Receptionist], what’s going on?”

    Receptionist: “Nothing, this man was just leaving.”

    Me: “Okay? Do you want to take lunch now?”

    (The receptionist gets up to leave, smirking at the client. When she’s out the door I turn to the client.)

    Me: “I am junior partner here. Is there something I can help with?”

    Client: “Yes. I can her hoping to make a claim, but that woman said that you don’t help my kind here and that I wouldn’t be able to afford you guys, and that you don’t help tramps. That’s disgusting behavior.”

    Me: “I absolutely agree. We’ll have a look at your case for you and determine a course of action. The legal advice is, of course, free for your troubles. We will be having words with our staff shortly, I assure you.”

    (It turned out the man had quite an important case that won himself a huge payout and was our biggest case of the year. The receptionist denied everything, but after two more complaints, one from the senior partner’s wife saying that she was called a whore, the receptionist was gone.)

    Related:
    Very Bad Reception, Part 10
    Very Bad Reception, Part 9
    Very Bad Reception, Part 8

    An All Enveloping Problem

    , | CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (My father is an attorney, and has hired a new legal secretary. One of the items she has typed up goes to several people at different offices at various addresses. That night my father brings home the envelope and shows it to my mother.)

    Father: “What do you see wrong with this envelope?”

    Mother: “The secretary put all the names and addresses on ONE envelope!”

    Father: “When I questioned her about it, she actually thought the mailman would go to each person’s address and wait for an answer.”

    (She didn’t last much beyond that day.)

    Infernal Internal Error

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Technology

    (My coworker gets an email from our office supply rep.)

    Email: “Dear [Coworker],

    Thanks for being a jerk.

    Sincerely,

    [Office Supply Rep].”

    Coworker: “What did I do?”

    (An hour or so later…)

    Email: “I apologize if you recently received an email from me. This was an internal error. The problem has been resolved.”

    The Key To Copying

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am the private secretary for a very wealthy and prestigious attorney. He works in entertainment law and has many famous clients. He also owns a fabulous house on the Malibu coastline and will frequently loan it out to dignitaries visiting California. It is just before a major holiday, and he is instructing the new girl who has JUST been hired.)

    Attorney: “Senator [Name] is visiting. I’ve given him permission to use the condo while I’m out of town.”

    (He hands the new girl the front door key.)

    Attorney: “I need you to have a copy made of this key to give to him. Since he is arriving late Friday, he knows he can pick up the key at the building security desk. Copy the key and leave it with the guard when you leave tonight. Put the key back in my desk drawer. I have a plane to catch. I’ll be gone the rest of next week.”

    New Girl: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “I can take care of that if you like.”

    New Girl: “Oh, no, it’s easy. I’ll do it.”

    (It wasn’t until Monday morning that I heard what had actually happened. The senator had arrived late that night and the security guard had obligingly handed him an envelope with the law firm’s address on it and his name neatly written on the front. Inside was a sheet of paper with a PHOTOCOPIED image of the attorney’s Malibu condo key!)

    Just Over Broken-hearted

    | Utah, USA | Coworkers

    (I work at a firm that mostly practices business law and litigation, and can be very stressful. It’s been a particularly crazy week with a lot of cases, and everyone just seems happy to make it Friday.)

    Attorney: “You know, I sit at my desk and look at my friend’s [social media] site and all they do is post pictures of themselves goofing off, all day long, every dang day of the week, while I’m here, working!”

    Me: “Yeah, but you’re getting paid to be here. They’re not getting paid to goof off and post pictures.”

    Attorney: “WELL, AT LEAST THEY’RE SMILING!”


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