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    An All Enveloping Problem

    , | CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (My father is an attorney, and has hired a new legal secretary. One of the items she has typed up goes to several people at different offices at various addresses. That night my father brings home the envelope and shows it to my mother.)

    Father: “What do you see wrong with this envelope?”

    Mother: “The secretary put all the names and addresses on ONE envelope!”

    Father: “When I questioned her about it, she actually thought the mailman would go to each person’s address and wait for an answer.”

    (She didn’t last much beyond that day.)

    Infernal Internal Error

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Technology

    (My coworker gets an email from our office supply rep.)

    Email: “Dear [Coworker],

    Thanks for being a jerk.


    [Office Supply Rep].”

    Coworker: “What did I do?”

    (An hour or so later…)

    Email: “I apologize if you recently received an email from me. This was an internal error. The problem has been resolved.”

    The Key To Copying

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am the private secretary for a very wealthy and prestigious attorney. He works in entertainment law and has many famous clients. He also owns a fabulous house on the Malibu coastline and will frequently loan it out to dignitaries visiting California. It is just before a major holiday, and he is instructing the new girl who has JUST been hired.)

    Attorney: “Senator [Name] is visiting. I’ve given him permission to use the condo while I’m out of town.”

    (He hands the new girl the front door key.)

    Attorney: “I need you to have a copy made of this key to give to him. Since he is arriving late Friday, he knows he can pick up the key at the building security desk. Copy the key and leave it with the guard when you leave tonight. Put the key back in my desk drawer. I have a plane to catch. I’ll be gone the rest of next week.”

    New Girl: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “I can take care of that if you like.”

    New Girl: “Oh, no, it’s easy. I’ll do it.”

    (It wasn’t until Monday morning that I heard what had actually happened. The senator had arrived late that night and the security guard had obligingly handed him an envelope with the law firm’s address on it and his name neatly written on the front. Inside was a sheet of paper with a PHOTOCOPIED image of the attorney’s Malibu condo key!)

    Just Over Broken-hearted

    | Utah, USA | Coworkers

    (I work at a firm that mostly practices business law and litigation, and can be very stressful. It’s been a particularly crazy week with a lot of cases, and everyone just seems happy to make it Friday.)

    Attorney: “You know, I sit at my desk and look at my friend’s [social media] site and all they do is post pictures of themselves goofing off, all day long, every dang day of the week, while I’m here, working!”

    Me: “Yeah, but you’re getting paid to be here. They’re not getting paid to goof off and post pictures.”


    Just Keep Working, Just Keep Working

    | Michigan, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

    (Note: This is the same boss and same employees from this story.)

    Boss: “It’s just like that movie, Finding Nemo!”

    Me: “You’ve seen Finding Nemo?”

    Boss: “Yeah, it’s great! Especially that part where they’re swimming in the water.”

    Me: “That is literally the whole movie.”

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