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    Prejudice Can Be A Handicap

    | MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I have a seizure disorder. I have a service dog and wear a medical alert bracelet. When I use public restrooms, I tend to use the handicapped stalls. After doing some shopping I walk into busy bathroom. I start walking to the stall, when a janitor emptying the trash steps in front of me.)

    Janitor: “Where do you think you’re going? That stall is for handicapped people only.”

    Me: “Oh, I have a seizure disorder. Here’s my medical bracelet, see?”

    (The janitor looks less than impressed.)

    Me: “And this is my service dog.”

    Janitor: “You can walk just fine. You can use a regular stall.”

    Me: “‘Handicapped’ doesn’t just mean an inability to walk.”

    Janitor: “You are not allowed to use this stall. It’s the law.”

    Me: “Seriously? There’s no such law. I have a legitimate reason to use this stall.”

    Janitor: “Listen. You are not going to steal this stall from these ladies! So pipe down your attitude! You aren’t anything special! You and that ridiculous mohawk of yours can go in that smaller stall, missy!”

    Me: “The last time I was in a regular stall, I had a seizure. I fell and hurt myself. The stall was so constricted that I hit my head on the walls and toilet. My doctor wants me to be safe.”

    Janitor: “You expect me to believe that?”

    Me: *turning my head, revealing a long, thick purple scar running under my spiked hair* “This stupid mohawk is a result of the 70 stitches I had to get after cracking my skull open on the side of a toilet! I had no way of avoiding everything in that constricted space when I fell so I hurt myself and a janitor had to pull me out, unconscious. Now if you could let me access the stall with more floor space and more room for me to avoid head injuries and a lawsuit, I’d appreciate it!”

    (The janitor turned pale while the line behind me erupted in a chorus of “Ooooohhhhh”s. Apparently a woman at the end of the line alerted another nearby janitor to the incident, so when I left the bathroom, I was told to wait by the employee main office. The head janitor offered his apology, and granted me a gift card to the mall and a treat for my service dog!)

    A Vacuum Of Sales

    , | Austin, TX, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (My husband and I stop at the local mall where we pass a vacuum demonstration at one of the kiosks. We walk by just as the demonstration ends and one of the demonstrators stops us.)

    Demonstrator: “So, what do you think?”

    Me: “It’s very nice, but we actually don’t need a vacuum.”

    Demonstrator: “You already have one?”

    Me: “Well, we have a stick vacuum, but we don’t have carpeting.”

    Demonstrator: “You don’t have floors?!”

    Me: “Oh, no. We have hardwood and marble in the bathroom.”

    Demonstrator: “So, you don’t have any carpeting?”

    Me: “No, just hardwood and marble.”

    Demonstrator: “Do you have dirt floors?!”

    Me: “No… we have hardwood floors.”

    Demonstrator: “… Your floors are made of wood?!”

    Husband: “We already have a vacuum.”

    Demonstrator: “Ooooh, I see. Have a good day!”

    Random With Abandon

    | Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am visiting my long-distance boyfriend. I have been telling him stories about how often complete strangers start bizarre conversations with me, and he’s joking about how this only happens to me. We stop by one of the mall vendors to buy some nuts.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (I take the snacks and we’re about to go, when…)

    Cashier: “They’re playing The Dark Knight Rises at the theater.”

    Me: “Yeah? I’ve heard it’s good.”

    Cashier: “Yeah. But it was delayed for awhile, because of the shooting.”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. That was sad.”

    (We’re about to go again, when…)

    Cashier: “So how do you feel about gun control?”

    (My boyfriend looks at me, startled.)

    Me: “Oh, it’s a controversial subject.”

    Cashier: “Oh, I know! I think sometimes we should have more laws, but then I think, well, I want to protect my freedom!”

    Me: “Well, I think we’re going to get going. Thanks for the snacks.”

    (We finally manage to leave. Boyfriend looks at me in confusion when we get outside.)

    Me: “And that is the kind of thing happens to me ALL THE TIME!”

    Don’t Hold Him To It

    , | NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Top

    (The lights in the restroom have failed. I call mall security to let someone know.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling because the lights in the men’s room outside [Store] have failed.”

    Security: “Ah. Thanks for letting us know. Please hold.” *to someone else* “HEY! Bulb’s blown in the s***in’-room by [Store]! Get one of the maintenance sons-of-b****es down there ASAP!” *to me* “Hi. Thanks for hold… Uh. We’re going to pretend that we live in a universe where I hit ‘hold’ instead of ‘speakerphone.’ Okay?”

    Giving Them A Sporting Chance

    | Darwin, NT, Australia | Bigotry, Employees

    (My grandma, two brothers, little sister, and I are at the mall. Grandma is signing us up for children’s sports teams. I am female and really want to play football, as I used to play it everyday with my grandpa.)

    Grandma: “Two of my grandchildren would like to play football just like their grandpa did.”

    Registrar: “Names?”

    (My grandma gives our names, and the registrar writes them down. I see I’ve been put down for ballet.)

    Me: “Um, you put me in ballet. I want to play football.”

    (The registrar looks at the paper and his eyes widen.)

    Registrar: “I am REALLY sorry. It’s just that all girls that come here want to do ballet, so I got a habit of putting down girls for ballet.”

    (The registrar rubs my name from ballet and re-writes it in football.)

    Registrar: “What about the other two?”

    Grandma: “Well, [Sister's Name] here wants to do ballet and [Brother's Name] wants to play basketball.”

    (Their names are put down. The organizer looks over the registrar’s shoulder.)

    Organizer: “Wait, you put a girl down in the wrong place. You put her in football. She should be in ballet!”

    Me: “Actually, I’m the girl in football. I like football and want to follow in my grandpa’s footsteps.”

    Organizer: “Oh, don’t be stupid. Girls hate football! They hate all sorts of sports!”

    Me: “Really? Watch this.”

    (I pull out my phone and show the organizer and registrar a video of me playing football against the toughest boy in school. Even though he is five grades higher than me I manage to beat him.)

    Registrar: *smiling* “So I guess this strong, young lady will stay in football right?”

    Organizer: “Fine, we start this Saturday. If you can survive the tests, you can join.”

    (Surprise! I survived and played great!)

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