• Very Genderal Humor
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    Doctor’s In A Daze And You’re Part Of His Craze

    | SC, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (After discovering that I have again contracted tonsillitis or strep, I schedule an appointment.)

    Nurse: “So you have a sore throat?”

    Me: “No, my tonsils are twice their size and covered in white streaks.”

    (The nurse smiles and looks in my mouth and promptly says, “oh my.” She then does a strep test and leaves. A minute later the doctor comes in.)

    Doctor: “So you have a sore throat?” *at this point I notice he’s really rushing through checking my heartbeat and he’s talking really fast*

    Me: “No, my tonsils are swollen and white.”

    (The doctor looks in my mouth and recoils with an “Ew!” before stepping back. I asked if it was strep or tonsillitis. He proceeded to tell me that strep and tonsillitis were exactly the same thing, which is not what the office PA had told me, and most of what I’d learned about tonsillitis notes that it is indeed different!)

    Doctor: “Can you have penicillin? You like penicillin? I like penicillin. You’re getting penicillin!”

    (He then rushed out and only came back to tell me to gargle with salt water. I found out later he’d also told my dad that he needed a sleep apnea study for no other reason than it was his current craze.)

    An Eye-Opening Experience

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

    (I get a splinter of metal in my eye. I go to the local eye doctor. I have an extremely strong blink reflex and even my old eye doctor had to have someone else hold it open to put drops in.)

    Local Doctor: “You have a small sliver of metal in your eye.” *begins to explain how he’s going to remove it*

    Me: “Okay, but I do have a strong blink reflex. I can’t control it.”

    (The doctor just nods and starts setting up. Finally he begins to work and is getting frustrated that every time he gets close to my eye it closes.)

    Local Doctor: “Stop blinking! This is taking far longer than it should.”

    Me: “I warned you about my reflex. I don’t know what you want me to do. I can’t control it!”

    (The doctor begins yelling at me about how I can control it. Tells me to look everywhere then yells at me that I am doing just that. Finally another doctor comes in to find out what’s going on.)

    Local Doctor: “She won’t stop blinking. This would have taken two seconds but she’s being difficult.”

    (The other doctor then pushes the other out of the way and grabs a bottle of something. Holding my eye open he puts drops in my eye. Then he sits down and waits a few minutes testing the reflex while he waits. After a bit of time he finally grabs his tool and pulls out the splinter without much fuss while he holds my eye open with the other hand.)

    New Doctor: *to Local Doctor* “Reflexes are not controllable. You have many tools here to keep eyes open and instead you chose to scream at her. Next time just pass off a “blinker” to me.”

    (I thanked the new doctor for his help and when I saw him and his kids at the carnival the next day he called me ‘”blinker” and he got a free toy for his kids!)

    Botoxic Sale Technique

    | Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Health & Body

    (I’m 11 years old, and at the dermatologist to get a wart frozen off my hand. My mom and I are making a follow-up appointment with the receptionist.)

    Receptionist: “Oh, before you go, you can have this!”

    (She hands me a coupon for a Botox treatment.)

    Me: “Uh, I don’t really think I want this…”

    Receptionist: “No, it’s great! I’ve had it done there a couple times and it doesn’t hurt or anything!”

    (She gestures to her face, which had been creeping me out already because I’d never seen somebody look so much like a live Barbie doll.)

    Me: “But it’s poison! Mom, the lady’s trying to sell me poison!”

    (My mother has finished putting the appointment into her PDA, snatches the coupon from my hands, and smacks it down onto the stack it came from.)

    Mom: “NO THANK YOU!”

    (We hurried out to the car.)

    Should Have Be-Labored The Point Harder

    | York, England, UK | Health & Body

    (I go to see a doctor about a number of things, including anxiety, which is typically about getting pregnant as I don’t want children. I also need some swabs taken. This conversation is with the nurse who rang to give me my results.)

    Nurse: “Hi, just ringing to tell you your results are all clear, but, erm… you’re on the pill, right?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Nurse: “Right. Well did the doctor do a urine test on you at all?”

    Me: “What?! No, why would he?”

    Nurse: “He’s put on your records that you’re pregnant and that he did a positive test on you.”

    Me: “…All I did was say I had anxiety about being pregnant! There wasn’t even mention of him doing a test!”

    Nurse: “Ah… well, I’ll get that changed for you. Sorry about the mix-up.”

    (How the doctor got everything so mixed up I don’t know, but he certainly didn’t make me feel any better!)

    Handle With Hand Care

    | USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I have a rather nasty allergy to the hand sanitizer Purell. Essentially, it causes me to break out in hives if I touch it or anyone who has used it touches me after using it. This day I’m in the lab getting blood drawn.)

    Nurse: “Okay, so we just have to draw blood for [tests] today right?”

    Me: “Yes.” *I’m watching as she puts Purell on her hands and moves to touch me*

    Me: “Excuse me, please put gloves on. I’m allergic to Purell and cannot be touched with it.”

    Nurse: “It’s just alcohol; you possibly can’t be allergic to alcohol!”

    Me: “It’s in my chart and if you had read it, you would know that.”

    Nurse: “No one can be allergic to it. It’s just alcohol.”

    Me: “Look, I don’t know all of what’s in it, but there is something I am allergic to and I can and DO break out in hives if you don’t put on gloves. Now, do I need to report you to management because you refuse to listen to a patient and ignore a chart?”

    Nurse: *mumbling as she puts gloves on* “No one is allergic to that.”

    Me: “You know what? We’re done here. You obviously are not listening to the patient. I will go to another lab where they actually listen. Forget it.”

    (I picked up my stuff and left. Worst part? Even though it is ALL over my chart and they can see it, I STILL have to remind every single person I talk to at these clinics to NOT touch me after using it or tell them to wash their hands properly.)

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