• Can’t Face The Speed
    (895 thumbs up)
  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    No Attempts Yet But I’m Beginning To Think About It

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I need a new psychologist to treat several continuing issues. A nurse is conducting the standard intake interview.)

    Nurse: “Have you ever been admitted to a psychiatric hospital?”

    Me: *provides details*

    Nurse: “Are you currently having any suicidal thoughts?”

    Me: “No.”

    Nurse: “Have you ever COMMITTED suicide?”

    (I was struck speechless for a moment. Before I could think of a snappy comeback, she recovered and asked the question she meant to:)

    Nurse: “Have you ever ATTEMPTED suicide?”

    The Nurse Needs To Get Ovary Herself

    , | Washington DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I have a LOT of respect for nurses, just not the one I dealt with in this incident. After a week of unusual pain on my left side, I go to the student health center at my university. I explain to the nurse that this is not a normal pain and definitely not menstrual cramps. The nurse palpates my abdomen and then makes her diagnosis.)

    Nurse: “It’s probably related to your period. I’d suggest pain killers.”

    Me: “I really don’t think it’s cramps or anything. I know what that feels like. This isn’t even in the same place.”

    Nurse: “You said you have irregular periods right? It’s probably that.”

    Me: “Is there anything else you can do to check? This doesn’t seem normal.”

    Nurse: “I can prescribe you extra-strength Midol.”

    Me: “Can I talk to the doctor?”

    Nurse: *very irritated* “Fine. I’ll be right back.”

    (The nurse returns alone.)

    Nurse: “The doctor prescribes Midol. Take it twice a day for the next week.”

    (I left because I didn’t want to argue and I knew I had a doctor’s appointment coming up in about a month. By the time that appointment came around my symptoms had progressed and the doctor was speechless when I explained the story. She immediately ordered an ultrasound. Long story short: I had ovarian cancer at age 25 and needed surgery… Cramps, my a**!)

    Can’t Believe Your Ears

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

    (I am visiting an ear doctor due to an earache. He confirms my suspicions that it’s a mild outer ear infection.)

    Me: “So, what should I do?”

    Doctor: “Well, you need to lose weight, for starters.”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    (I appear overweight, but am completely healthy. The doctor goes on.)

    Doctor: “You’re too pudgy. Lose weight. As for your ear infection, take these ear dr—”

    Me: “—first of all, I may look fat, but my doctor can confirm that I’m healthy. Secondly, you’re an EAR DOCTOR! It’s none of your business what my weight is; you treat ears!”

    Doctor: “It’s still true.”

    (I took the ear drops, left, and never went back.)

    Birthing New Stupid, Part 2

    | England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve previously suffered what can be classed as ‘nausea attacks’ previously and been tests for various ailments that have come back clear. I move to a new town and a few months later have another bout of nausea so go to my new doctor.)

    Me: “I’ve suffered from this previously and had [names of tests] done but they came back clear but I was told to return to a GP if the symptoms come back.”

    Female Doctor: “So what is wrong?”

    Me: “Well, I am feeling sick—”

    Female Doctor: “You’re pregnant.”

    Me: *rather shocked as although I am on the pill and have a long time partner I know I am not pregnant* “No, I’m not. I’ve had this happen before.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, you’re pregnant now.”

    Me: “I highly doubt that.”

    Female Doctor: “Go pee in a cup and I’ll prove it.”

    Me: “No, I know I am not pregnant and I don’t need the bathroom right now.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, buy a pregnancy test and stop wasting my time.”

    (I leave, amazed that she never listened or looked at my medical history. I did buy a test and it was negative and two years down the line I’ve still not given birth!)

    Birthing New Stupid

    Getting An Earful About Being Normal

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Health & Body

    (A nurse is examining my ears.)

    Nurse: “This ear canal is smaller than your other.”

    Me: “Is that normal?”

    Nurse: “Is there anything normal about you?”

    (We had a good laugh, but she never did tell whether or not it’s normal!)

    Page 1/1412345...Last
    Next Page »