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    Birthing New Stupid, Part 2

    | England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve previously suffered what can be classed as ‘nausea attacks’ previously and been tests for various ailments that have come back clear. I move to a new town and a few months later have another bout of nausea so go to my new doctor.)

    Me: “I’ve suffered from this previously and had [names of tests] done but they came back clear but I was told to return to a GP if the symptoms come back.”

    Female Doctor: “So what is wrong?”

    Me: “Well, I am feeling sick—”

    Female Doctor: “You’re pregnant.”

    Me: *rather shocked as although I am on the pill and have a long time partner I know I am not pregnant* “No, I’m not. I’ve had this happen before.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, you’re pregnant now.”

    Me: “I highly doubt that.”

    Female Doctor: “Go pee in a cup and I’ll prove it.”

    Me: “No, I know I am not pregnant and I don’t need the bathroom right now.”

    Female Doctor: “Well, buy a pregnancy test and stop wasting my time.”

    (I leave, amazed that she never listened or looked at my medical history. I did buy a test and it was negative and two years down the line I’ve still not given birth!)

    Related:
    Birthing New Stupid

    Getting An Earful About Being Normal

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Employees, Health & Body

    (A nurse is examining my ears.)

    Nurse: “This ear canal is smaller than your other.”

    Me: “Is that normal?”

    Nurse: “Is there anything normal about you?”

    (We had a good laugh, but she never did tell whether or not it’s normal!)

    The Mother Of All Misunderstandings

    | Temple, TX, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My little brother was an ‘oops’ baby, born when my mother was 40. I am 14 at the time and teen pregnancy is very common in my town. I decided to go with my mom to the baby’s two-week appointment.)

    Nurse #1: “I need to fill out some paperwork. The computers are down. Name of the mother?”

    Mom And Me: “[Mom].”

    Nurse #1: “Age of the mother?”

    Mom: “40.”

    Nurse #1: “No, the age of the baby’s mother.”

    Mom And Me: “40!”

    (Nurse #1 leaves and Nurse #2 comes in.)

    Nurse #2: *to me* “So, how’d your labor go?”

    Me: “Really well, seeing as it was a C-section on her!” *points to my mom*

    Nurse #2: “Oh.”

    (Nurse #2 leaves and Nurse #3 comes in to give the baby his vaccinations.)

    Nurse #3: “Okay, mom and grandma stand on the other side of the table while I give these shots.”

    Mom And Me: “Mom and SISTER!”

    (I’m now 26 and I still get accused of being his mom! And I can’t tell you how many dirty looks I got in the mall!)

    CD-Wrong

    | PA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I’m calling my husband’s new doctor’s office to confirm that they received his records from the previous doctor’s office.)

    Me: “Hi. This [My Name]. I’m calling to see if you received my husband’s medical records.”

    (I tell them my husband’s info.)

    Receptionist: “No, they have not faxed his records over.”

    (I call the other doctor’s office and ask why they have not sent his records over. They tell me that they have and I ask how long ago. The receptionist there tells me it was over a week and a half ago. I ask if they were faxed and she tells me that they don’t do that; they put his records on a CD and mailed them.)

    Me: “I called a little while ago about my husband’s records and you told you did not get them. Well, I spoke to the other doctor’s office and they did send them via mail over a week and a half ago. They sent a CD.”

    Receptionist: “Well, why wouldn’t they just fax them?!”

    Me: “I don’t know. Apparently they don’t do that there.”

    Receptionist: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Again, you would have to ask them that since I don’t work there.”

    Receptionist: “Well, what are we supposed to do with a CD?!”

    Me: “Um… put it in the computer and read it?”

    Receptionist: “Hmph!” *grumbling*

    Me: “Can you please just check to see if it was received?”

    Receptionist: “One moment.” *pause* “I checked with the doctor. It was already on her desk and she’ll take care of it.”

    Me: *head-desk*

    Needs To Go Off-Script

    | NC, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m back at Student Health with my second miserable sinus infection of the semester.)

    Nurse: “Well, it sounds like you’ve just got something in your sinuses. I’ll go have them write a prescription and fix you right up!”

    Me: “What exactly are they prescribing?”

    Nurse: “Oh, just [antibiotic] and a decongestant.”

    Me: “I literally finished a course of that three days ago, for the same problem. It should be in my file.”

    (The nurse just stares at me like she’s waiting for me to say I’m joking, and then whips around and walks out of the room. Twenty minutes later, she comes back and presses a prescription paper into my hand and hurries me out of the building. I drive to the little pharmacy closer to campus.)

    Pharmacist #1: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Me: “I need this filled.”

    (We do the routine confirming my insurance, and I sit and wait for a few minutes before being called to the pick-up counter.)

    Pharmacist #2: “I’m sorry, but where in the world did you get this script?”

    Me: “From Student Health, less than an hour ago. Why?”

    Pharmacist #2: “We’re pretty small; we don’t carry as much as [Chain Pharmacy] does. Sorry, but you need to take this to them.”

    (I drive across town to the [Chain Pharmacy], explain what the first pharmacy had told me, repeat the insurance checking and settle down to wait, but I’m almost immediately called up.)

    Pharmacist #3: “Okay, so I’ve never had this problem before. The medicine they prescribed could only be referring to [Well-Known Brand], which hasn’t been available for nearly a decade and there’s no way your insurance will cover it. I can try to find all the different things that are in it, but they might not be in the right proportions and could get expensive.”

    Me: “Sorry, I’ve been sick for a while. Let’s see what it all adds up to, and then see what I should pay for?”

    (A minute later, she returns looking triumphant, holding a bottle.)

    Pharmacist #3: “We had some of the [Well-Known Brand] in the back, and it looks to have one full dose left. I’ll just charge it as [Other Well-Known Brand]. That’ll be $12.”

    (After all that fuss, turned out I had mono and the prescription was useless!)


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