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    I Heard What You NSAID

    | NY, USA | Employees, Health & Body

    Doctor: “And what about allergies?”

    Me: “I’m allergic to ASA and NSAIDs, as well as—”

    Doctor: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Me: *slowing down* “Oh, sorry. ASA and all NSAIDs, and—”

    Doctor: “I heard you. What do you mean by that?”

    Me: “Uh… ASA is aspirin. I’m allergic to aspirin as well as all related non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, or NSAIDs. I’m sorry, is that not correct? I’ve been saying it that way for years.”

    Doctor: “Oh yes, that’s correct. But you shouldn’t use the medical terms. Regular people get it wrong. Only doctors should use the medical terms.”

    Me: “But I didn’t get it wrong.”

    Doctor: “No, but it’s confusing.”

    Physician, Rebook Thyself

    | USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am feeling very ill and have called the medical facility to make an appointment. The following morning I show up.)

    Me: “I’m here for my appointment.” *gives name*

    Reception:  “Oh. Your appointment was canceled. The doctor you had isn’t coming in today.”

    Me: “…I’m still sick. I need to see someone.”

    Reception:  “Um… I’ll see if we can find you something…”

    (I think it was at least a half hour before they finally got someone to take my vitals. At least my temperature of 104.2 convinced them that, yes, I really did need to see a doctor!)

    Bidding Adieu, Adieu To All Of You

    | SC, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Movies & TV, New Hires, Theme Of The Month

    (One of our three physicians has just announced his impending retirement.)

    Whole Office: “Noooo!”

    Doctor: “It’s not until summer! I can’t leave until I find a replacement anyway. There’s a nice young man who’s looking at coming here. He’ll be visiting on Monday.”

    Coworker #1: “No! We’ll be on our worst behavior! ”

    Me: “Like the Von Trapp kids!”

    Coworker #2: “And we’ll scare him away so you can’t leave!”

    Doctor: “Now, now, it’ll be all right! He’s young, but train up a doctor in the way he should go…”

    (It’s kind of a joke in the office that the nurses used to ‘train’ the doctor by using chocolate as a reward for getting appointments done on time.)

    Coworker #3: “So we leave chocolate on his desk until he figures out our schedules?”

    Me: “But what if he doesn’t like chocolate?”

    Coworker #3: *horrified expression* “Then he doesn’t belong.”

    Check-Up Has Checked Out

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I am having a check-up at my surgeon’s office. Six months prior, I underwent a medically necessary plastic surgery, and was promised upon choosing this surgeon that all following check-ups were covered in the cost of the surgery. The check-ups literally take five minutes or less – I walk in, they look at the scar, say it looks great, and I walk out. I’m passing back out through reception, and there’s a receptionist who is new and I haven’t seen before.)

    Receptionist: “Okay, so that will be $90.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t think that’s right. All of my follow ups are included in what I’ve already paid.”

    Receptionist: *dripping with insincerity* “Oh, sweety. That’s only for the first six months. It’s been a few weeks past that now. You really need to read the fine print, don’t you, honey?”

    Me: “I went through all the paperwork with the admissions nurse before I booked. I was absolutely assured there would be no follow up costs.”

    Receptionist: “$90, sweety. Go home and read your paperwork. It’s there in writing.”

    (Being the pushover that I am, I paid. I went home and sure enough, nothing mentions additional costs after six months. Needless to say, I cancelled all my following appointments.)

    Weathering Bad Comments

    | MN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

    (It’s February and it is well known that I am going to be gone on vacation for a week. The patient in question is an older lady.)

    Patient: *smiling* “It’ll be really nice when you’re gone!”

    Me: *wondering what on earth I ever did to her!* “Uhm… okay?”

    Patient: “You know, how it’ll be nice when you’re gone, then really cruddy when you come back!”

    Me: “Oh, uh, sure. Okay.”

    Patient: *getting flustered* “You know! The weather! It’s like that, nice when you’re gone then gets cold again when you come back!”

    Me: *getting it* “Oh! Yes, probably.”

    (The patient left red-faced and I laughed about it the whole time I was gone!)

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