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  • September's Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Should Have Be-Labored The Point Harder

    | York, England, UK | Health & Body

    (I go to see a doctor about a number of things, including anxiety, which is typically about getting pregnant as I don’t want children. I also need some swabs taken. This conversation is with the nurse who rang to give me my results.)

    Nurse: “Hi, just ringing to tell you your results are all clear, but, erm… you’re on the pill, right?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Nurse: “Right. Well did the doctor do a urine test on you at all?”

    Me: “What?! No, why would he?”

    Nurse: “He’s put on your records that you’re pregnant and that he did a positive test on you.”

    Me: “…All I did was say I had anxiety about being pregnant! There wasn’t even mention of him doing a test!”

    Nurse: “Ah… well, I’ll get that changed for you. Sorry about the mix-up.”

    (How the doctor got everything so mixed up I don’t know, but he certainly didn’t make me feel any better!)

    Handle With Hand Care

    | USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I have a rather nasty allergy to the hand sanitizer Purell. Essentially, it causes me to break out in hives if I touch it or anyone who has used it touches me after using it. This day I’m in the lab getting blood drawn.)

    Nurse: “Okay, so we just have to draw blood for [tests] today right?”

    Me: “Yes.” *I’m watching as she puts Purell on her hands and moves to touch me*

    Me: “Excuse me, please put gloves on. I’m allergic to Purell and cannot be touched with it.”

    Nurse: “It’s just alcohol; you possibly can’t be allergic to alcohol!”

    Me: “It’s in my chart and if you had read it, you would know that.”

    Nurse: “No one can be allergic to it. It’s just alcohol.”

    Me: “Look, I don’t know all of what’s in it, but there is something I am allergic to and I can and DO break out in hives if you don’t put on gloves. Now, do I need to report you to management because you refuse to listen to a patient and ignore a chart?”

    Nurse: *mumbling as she puts gloves on* “No one is allergic to that.”

    Me: “You know what? We’re done here. You obviously are not listening to the patient. I will go to another lab where they actually listen. Forget it.”

    (I picked up my stuff and left. Worst part? Even though it is ALL over my chart and they can see it, I STILL have to remind every single person I talk to at these clinics to NOT touch me after using it or tell them to wash their hands properly.)

    Sick Of Looking For A Diagnosis

    | IL, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m having very specific pain in my lower left abdomen and feeling very sick along with it. I miss class on Monday and come in the same day to see they are no longer taking patients, so I come back on Tuesday. This is after the nurse has checked me in and taken all my vitals and I’m finally seeing the doctor.)

    Doctor: “What brings you in today?”

    Me: “Well, I’ve got a pain right here that I’ve had for a while on and off. But, the last couple of days, it’s been feeling worse and I’ve been feeling very nauseous. It got so bad that I had to miss class yesterday because I didn’t feel like I could make it through four and a half hours without vomiting.”

    Doctor: “Oh, are you here for a doctor’s note?”

    Me: “Well,partially but I’m still feeling very sick and I want to know what this pain is.”

    Doctor: “Is there any possibility that you’re pregnant?”

    Me: “No.”

    Doctor: “When was your last period?”

    Me: “Thursday… no, Friday, two weeks ago.”

    Doctor: “Well, we’re not outfitted here to really check any abdominal pain. You’d have to go to the hospital for some sort of blood work or ultrasound.”

    Me: “Oh, well, I—”

    Doctor: “I mean I could feel around on your stomach but it’s not going to give you a diagnosis.”

    Me: “Yeah but is there anything it could possibly be?”

    Doctor: “It could be something tubal.”

    (I have no clue what she means by this so I just carry on asking about other things)

    Me: Could it be an ulcer? I get heartburn like every day and really intensely?

    Doctor: “No, that’s really low for an ulcer. Like I was saying, it could be a tubal pregnancy.”

    (I gave her a look of pure exasperation because I’d already told her enough to rule that out.)

    Me: “No, it’s not that. Because it’s BEEN a WHILE. And I’ve been getting regular periods ever since.”

    Doctor: “Oh, well, it could be kidney stones but you usually feel that more on your back, I can’t do much for you here. [Hospital] has an urgent care unit, if you’d like to go there.”

    (At this point, I’m sweaty, frustrated and feeling even sicker than when I came in and just want to get out of there but I realize she’s forgotten the doctor’s note.)

    Me: “Uhh, could I have that doctor’s note?”

    Doctor: “Oh, umm, yeah, hold on.” *walks out of room and says to nurse* “I sent her on to urgent care but she still wants a doctor’s note.” *writes out note* “Here you go.”

    Me: “Thanks…”

    (She wrote the note to excuse me for Wednesday, despite me telling her I missed classed Monday but I didn’t catch it until I got home. I went to a different doctor and got diagnosed with diverticulitis, which has the EXACT symptoms I was complaining about to the other doctor!)

    Swear Off These Calls

    | Needham, MA, USA | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (We’d been getting some scam-calls from a company that claims to be our copier repairmen, but as I know that our copier repairman speaks with a heavy accent, I can screen them out easily and avoid wasting time. Then one day:)

    Caller: “Hi, this is Steve, the repair guy for your copier. Could you read me the model number off the back of the machine?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, which company did you say you were with?”

    Caller: “F*** you, c***!”

    Me: “EXCUSE ME?!”

    Caller: “You heard me, you c***!” *continues verbal abuse as I hang up*

    (I tell my coworker what happened. She calms me down, saying the same thing had happened to her once. Then, a few hours later:)

    Caller #2: “Hi, this is Josh calling about the copier. Could you tell me the model number? It should be on the back or the side.”

    Me: “Actually, I think I spoke to one of your coworkers earlier, and he swore at me when I asked which company he worked for. I think you’d better take us off your list.”

    Caller #2: “Really?”

    Me: “Really. Which company are you calling from?”

    Caller #2: *hangs up*

    Pride, Twinned With Stupidity

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Employees, Family & Kids, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (This takes place back in the ’60s, before pre-natal exams included ultrasounds. My mom is six months pregnant and goes to see her doctor.)

    Nurse: *to doctor* “Sir, I think I heard a second heartbeat.”

    Doctor: *to nurse, patronizingly patting her on the shoulder* “No, sweetie, that’s just an echo. That’s why I am the doctor!”

    (Flash forward three months, mom is in labour and voila, my sister is born.)

    Doctor: *to my mother* “Don’t go anywhere, there’s another one coming!”

    (Yes, thanks to the doctor’s refusal to listen to a mere female nurse, my mother had precisely three minutes’ notice she was having twins.)

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