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  • A Thick Slice Of Bribery

    | Sandy Springs, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (My shift is about to end when my manager comes up.)

    Manager: “Hey, do you want to stay till close.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “C’mon.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “I’ll pay you extra.”

    Me: “No.”

    Manager: “I’ll buy you some pizza.”

    Me: “No… Wait, what kind?”

    Manager: “[Popular local chain].”

    Me: “D*** it! All right.”

    The Cold Hard Truth About Cold Hard Cash

    | Bakersfield, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I am sweeping up in the lobby when I come across a $50 bill on the floor. It is very near a customer, but he is honest and says it isn’t his. I decide to take it to the lost and found in case someone claims it.)

    Me: *to my manager* “I found this on the floor. I’m sure someone will be looking for it soon.”

    Manager: “Awesome! Thanks.” *he pockets the cash*

    Me: “What? That’s for the lost and found! What if someone comes to claim it?”

    Manager: “You should’ve kept it yourself! Unless they keep track of their money’s serial numbers, they can’t prove that it’s theirs. Take it as a lesson learned!”

    Weeding Himself Out

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal

    (We’re having an employee screening for a movie when a coworker steps out for a few minutes then comes back with a very distinct odor. A minute later, the manager walks up behind him.)

    Manager: *dope-slaps the coworker* “Don’t smoke weed in the hallway!”

    (The rest of us couldn’t stop laughing after that.)

    Available To No Avail

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Movies & TV

    (My family and I will be moving very soon and so because of that, I’m trying to deep clean my room during my two days off on Spring Break. Sometime around two pm, I get a call from work but miss it due to cleaning. At around five, I call back to see what is up. Note that my friend and I were planning on seeing a movie at eight that night.)

    General Manager: “Hello, thank you for calling [Theater]. This is [General Manager] speaking. How may I help you?

    Me: “Hey, [General Manager], it’s [My Name]. I was just calling to see what ya’ll needed to call me for.”

    General Manager: “Oh, we needed people for the afternoon rush but it’s over now. You shouldn’t miss calls from us.”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. I was cleaning for the move. Hey, can I come see [Movie] at eight with a friend?”

    General Manager: “No.”

    (I assume that we have many pre-ordered for that time since this a premier for a big movie.)

    Me: “Oh, okay. Is there any other time we can come in?”

    General Manager: “No, we’re not giving out any passes tonight.”

    Me: “Huh? Why not?”

    General Manager: “Because no one called us back and because if you were unavailable then, you must be unavailable now and cannot see a movie.”

    Me: “That doesn’t make any sense. I wasn’t scheduled for today nor did I request today off. I simply just missed a phone call.”

    General Manager: “Yes, so that means you were unavailable. Have a good day.”

    (In the end, most of my coworkers and I went to another theater in the next town to see the movie. We not only enjoyed the movie but the more comfortable seats!)

    Learn How To Stick To Your Guns

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Politics

    (One of our coworkers is a hardcore conservative, which would be all right if he appeared to actually have his own opinions rather than just what his father had been telling him.)

    Coworker #1: “So, I saw you posted a lot of stuff about gun control on your Facebook page. How do you feel about i?.”

    Coworker #2: “Gun control is bad.”

    Manager: “So you think anybody should be able to have a gun?”

    Coworker #2: “No, there should be screening and background checks.”

    Me: *facepalm* “That is gun control!”

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