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    The Great Gummi Massacre

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    Me: “Looks like another movie let out. Want me to go in and clean it?”

    Manager: “Dunno. There weren’t a lot of customers in there.”

    Me: “Yeah, but sometimes just a handful of people will leave a big mess.”

    Manager: “True. Go in there and check, and if there is a mess, go and clean it.”

    (I go in and come back out about a minute later.)

    Manager: “How was it?”

    Me: *as I grab a broom and dustpan* “Gummi bears… lying here and there and everywhere…”

    A Dream Is A Wish Your Hulk Makes

    | UK | Awesome Workers, Employees, Movies & TV

    (My sister and I are out to see ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron.’ I happen to be wearing an Avengers shirt, have my Avengers bag with me, and am carrying a Hulk plush toy because I get nervous around crowds. We get to the front of the line to buy tickets.)

    Sister: “Okay, hang on.” *pulls me into the cashier’s line of sight* “Guess which movie we want to see?

    Cashier: “Oh, I know. Cinderella, right? I’ve heard Hulk is great in that!”

    (She rang us up for our ‘Age of Ultron’ tickets, and told me my Hulk was cute!)

    A-Cute-ly Busy

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, New Hires

    (Someone has dropped off a job application, and I’m taking it upstairs to the manager.)

    Manager: “Another application?”

    Me: “Yeah. Can you come down? They want to talk to you.”

    Manager: *groan* “I hate talking to new applicants. Just say I’m busy.”

    Me: “She’s cute…”

    Manager: “I’ll be down in a minute.”

    The Ticket To A Productive Conversation

    | Spain | Movies & TV

    (I see a voucher in a magazine offering two free tickets for a specific movie. I decide to go by myself.)

    Me: *hands the voucher to the ticket clerk* “One ticket for [Film], please.”

    Ticket Clerk: *looks at voucher* “This is for two tickets.”

    Me: “Yes, but I only need one.”

    Ticket Clerk: “But the voucher says two tickets.”

    Me: “I know, but I’ve come all alone. Just one ticket for me, please.”

    Ticket Clerk: “But it’s for TWO tickets!”

    Me: *giving up* “Fine, just give me two tickets for [Film], but I’ll only use one, okay?”

    Ticket Clerk: “Oh. Just one ticket for [Film], then.”

    Won’t Be A Jersey Boy Anymore

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (Our theater picked up Jersey Boys, a musical about the band, the Four Seasons. Consequently, some of the music would sometimes get stuck in our heads.)

    Coworker: *singing* “Sheeeery, Sherry baby, baaaaaby…”

    Me: “If you don’t stop, I will castrate you so that you actually sound like that!”

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