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Blow Them Away

| Houston, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Liars/Scammers

Caller: “May I speak to Joe Blow?”

Me: “Joe Blow is a pseudonym that my boss uses to confuse telemarketers.”

Caller: “Well, I’m calling to talk to Mr. Blow about accounting services.”

Me: “…and clearly it’s working.”

She Is Never Ever Getting That CD

| Miami, FL, USA | Musical Mayhem

(I’m Asian, but I have blonde hair. I’m also wearing red lipstick.)

Employee: “The Taylor Swift CDs are over there.”

Me: “I’m not looking for Taylor Swift CDs. What makes you think so?”

Employee: “Well… you kind of look like her, for starters.”

Got A Whole Lotta Love For This Manager

| Buffalo, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I’m a 14-year-old girl. I’ve just selected three Led Zeppelin CDs, and head to the counter to make my purchase. The cashier is a middle-aged man.)

Cashier: “Are these for your dad?”

Me: “Actually, no, they’re for me.”

Cashier: “Uh, the One Direction CDs are over there.” *points*

Me: “Yeah, well, I hate One Direction. I much prefer Led Zeppelin.”

Cashier: “But girls your age are supposed to like One Direction!”

Me: “Yeah, well, I don’t! I like Led Zeppelin.”

Cashier: “It’s obvious that you have some sort of mental problem. It’s not normal for girls your age to like classic rock.”

(The manager has now approached the counter.)

Manager: *to cashier* “You! To my office now!” *to me* “I’m so sorry about that. He shouldn’t be talking to you that way. Personally, it’s great to see kids your age that appreciate great music.”

(He gave me 50% off for my troubles.)

Misogynists Can Make You Fret

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Musical Mayhem

(I’m a female musician and own most of my own equipment. While I can’t fix things myself, I do usually know what’s wrong, though most people assume I don’t. In this case, I am 18 and need to get the pickups in my vintage electric guitar rewired. I’ve taken it to a local shop that also does repairs.)

Clerk: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, I called earlier about my ’72 SG. There’s a faulty connection and the pickups need to be rewired to the toggle switch.”

Clerk: “Are you sure? You probably just had it turned up too loud.”

Me: “No, I’m sure. Can you fix it?”

Clerk: “…Probably. I’ll give you a call when I’ve looked at it…”

(Three days later, they call me back.)

Clerk: “Hey, I looked at the pickups and there’s nothing wrong. You just need to keep the volume down.”

Me: “That shouldn’t matter. Are you sure?”

Clerk: “Yeah. Just come get it.”

(This isn’t the first time I’ve been dismissed at this shop, so I decided to bring my 6’2″ father.)

Clerk: “So you’re here for the guitar?”

Me: “Yeah. Can you explain again what’s wrong?”

(I’m expecting the same simple explanation about the volume, but instead the clerk launches into complex explanation of the problem.)

Clerk: “…and so the pickups were originally wired backwards. I’ll need to take them apart and redo it.”

My Dad: “Then why did you say there was nothing wrong?”

Clerk: “Well, it’s vintage. The parts are hard to replace.”

My Dad: “…But can you do it?”

Clerk: “…Yeah.”

My Dad: “Then why aren’t you?!”

(That was six years ago, and the wiring is still faulty!)