• Not Scripted For Success - 793 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    File This One Under Stupid

    | Singapore | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My boss is not very tech savvy; I am the best at IT and related things in the office so he often asks me for help. I have tried many times to explain everyday computer terminology to him to no avail.)

    Boss: “[My Name], could you come over here?”

    Me: *walks over* “Yes?”

    Boss: “I just did something and now all these files have ended up in the wrong folder! Can you help me move them back here so I can rename them properly?” *waves mouse over an area of the desktop, which is already almost filled with file and folder icons*

    (I look; there are over 20 files in a “New Folder”. Note that my boss’s concept of moving files is to do them one by one; no matter how many times I’ve tried to teach him how to select multiple files and drag them to move them, he never seems to learn.)

    Boss: “They were here just now and now can you move them back.” *again gesturing vaguely at the desktop with his mouse*

    Me: “So just to be sure, you want me to move your files onto the desktop, where they will end up here?” *gesturing outside of the screen, which is the only way I’ve found that he understands that the file icons can’t be seen anymore because they are too many and can’t be all displayed on the desktop*

    Boss: “Yeah.”

    Me: “You sure?”

    Boss: “Just do it!”

    Me: Okay.” *clicks and drags all the files to the desktop, where, predictably, half the file icons can no longer be seen*

    Boss: “What did you do? I told you to move them to a separate folder so I can rename them all together!”

    Me: *sighs internally*

    This Is Not The Android You Are Looking For

    | Hong Kong, China | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a company that manufacturers Android devices. The CEO doesn’t know much about his market.)

    CEO: “I want to preinstall this software on our Android devices.”

    (I check out the software only to find out it is outdated.)

    Me: “The software runs on DOS and requires floppy disks to be installed. It also hasn’t been updated for 15 years.”

    CEO: “So? Can we have it on our Android devices?”

    Me: “No, I’m afraid our devices don’t have a floppy disk reader or DOS…”

    An Understanding Disability

    | Bristol, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (At my office there is a coworker who takes every opportunity to make out how he’s so much better than the rest of us and deserves ‘special’ privileges – which he doesn’t get because he’s also lazy. He’s notorious for complaining about anything another person has that he doesn’t. We are moving to a new office building where there is practically no car parking and all the staff have been informed. I’m disabled and have a permit that lets me use one of the disabled parking bays so I will be parking my car at the new place. He complains to the boss:)

    Coworker: “This is discrimination and I’m going to complain!”

    Manager: “About what?”

    Coworker: “About how my parking space is being taken away from me! I’ve got a parking spot here but not at the new building!”

    Manager: “Nobody has a parking space there. Heck, I don’t have a parking space there. We’ve all got to figure out how to get to work now. We’re all in the same boat.”

    Coworker: *pointing at me* “So why does SHE get a parking spot, then? This is discrimination!”

    Manager: “…She’s got disabled parking.”

    Coworker: “Then I demand it, too!”

    Manager: “Are you disabled?”

    Coworker: “No, but why does she get special treatment that I don’t get?”

    Manager: “…Because she’s disabled?”

    Coworker: “I DEMAND the same privileges!”

    Manager: “Then go get yourself in the same kind of car accident that smashed her up and we’ll talk.”

    Don’t Leave Me Drowning

    | Bristol, England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (This is my first office job, and whilst the office is generally staffed by middle aged ladies, they’ve recently employed quite a few of us “youths” to try and energise the business, apparently. This discussion takes place between I and two coworkers, all aged 19.)

    Coworker #1: “Ugh, I don’t understand this client email. What does ambiguous mean?”

    Coworker #2: “Isn’t that them animals that can breathe underwater?”

    It’s That Time Of The Months

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Coworkers, Overtime

    (I’m walking to a meeting on another floor of my building, and two coworkers I don’t know are a few steps ahead of me.)

    Coworker #1: *deep, exhausted-sounding sigh*

    Coworker #2: “So are you stressed because it’s the end of the month or stressed because it’s almost the beginning of another month?”

    Coworker #1: “A bit of both. My team has a lot of end-of-month reporting that has to get done, but a lot of new stuff kicks off at the beginning of each new month.”

    Coworker #2: “Eesh. That sounds like a rough few days.”

    Coworker #1: “Actually, it lasts a little longer than that. I’d say, hmm, the first two weeks of the month are stressful, and then the last two weeks of the month are stressful.”

    Coworker #2: “…That’s the whole month.”

    Coworker #1: *stops dead in her tracks and goes really wide-eyed* “Oh, my god. You’re right.”

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