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    A Very Scary Month

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworker is from France. His accent is very good, but is very strong with certain words:)

    Coworker: ‘’I need the report from a ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’What?’’

    Coworker: ‘’ A ghost. A ghost’s report. It’s missing?’’

    Me: ‘’A ghost report?’’

    Coworker: ‘Yes. A ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’Ghost.’’

    (He wanted the report from August.)

    User Confuser

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in IT for a particular high end women’s fashion site. One day I get a call from one of our designers in the studio.)

    Caller: “I forgot my password again.”

    Me: “That’s all right. Let me just reset it… and your temporary password is “TempPass1″. Capital ‘T’ and ‘P.’”

    Caller: “It’s not working.”

    Me: “That’s okay. Make sure to capitalize the ‘T’ and ‘P’ and try again. It’ll prompt you for a new password when you login.”

    Caller: “Well… I mean… I don’t know my username either.”

    (I know this particular person, so I’m sure this isn’t a malicious social engineering attempt.)

    Me: “It’s your name.”

    Caller: “Yeah, I don’t remember my username.”

    Me: “It’s your name. First name, dot, last name.”

    Caller: “Yeah, I don’t know it.”

    Me: “[Caller], you know your name. I know you do. I’m calling you by your name right now.”

    Caller: “Wait… Oh, yeah! Okay, hold on… Nope, I don’t think I remember my username. Can you reset that too?”

    (I walked down to the studio and watched her try to login to her computer with her personal email address.)

    Not Fitting For A Manager To Say

    | AB, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body

    (One of my coworkers is very heavily pregnant and nearing her maternity leave period. As it’s only a couple weeks away, her replacement has taken over her office and she has moved into the board room to do general filing for the time being. Our company CEO notices her in the board room for the first time.)

    CEO: “Don’t fit in your office anymore?”

    My Own Pet Solution

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (It is the early 2000s. Computers are still growing in use, and have only recently become commonplace at my mother’s office. Whenever someone is sick and has files on their computer that they need, one of her coworkers will get in to their computer. No one knows how he does it since he doesn’t work in the IT department, and everyone  just assume he’s an IT wizard. Then, one day…)

    Coworker: “There, you’re in.”

    Boss: “Thanks. How do you keep getting in, anyway?”

    Coworker: “Oh, it’s easy. I just know the names of everyone’s pets.”

    Boss: “…”

    (It turns out everyone used their pet’s name as a password. Mystery solved!)

    It’s Snow Problem

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Geography, Health & Body

    (Although I now live in the lower 48, I grew up in Alaska, so I have a very high tolerance for the cold. I overheat quickly, so I don’t usually wear a coat or sweater until it’s below freezing. The following happens on the walk from the office to our cars after work.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], when you going to start wearing a coat?”

    Me: “When it gets cold.”

    Coworker: *gives me a very confused look* “It’s snowing. There is snow, and it’s falling. It’s falling on us. Snow!”

    Me: “Yeah, but it’s a warm snow!”

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