• I’ve Got A Ticket To Deride
    (828 thumbs up)
  • October's Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Playing Them At Their Own Game

    | Europe | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I work in a startup company with a boss who treats it like her own personal toy. While it may seem irrelevant, the fact is that her husband made enough money so that she could pretend to be an entrepreneur with no real consequences. We are creating a new “Facebook” for fitness instructors that would lead the Internet. While I am working and my coworker is creating 3D models, this conversation happens. She enters on Monday:)

    Boss: “Hey, yesterday I saw this really cool thing that you can move in front of your TV and it sees it. We should make a game about fitness!”

    Me: “Ah, that is probably Kinect. Well, while it is possible, I really doubt we can pull it off. Games are made by big companies with experience, but we have a three people team and two of them know nothing about programming and such… “

    Boss: “Well, have you looked into it? Why do you always dismiss it. If we made it, it would be BIG and you have to start thinking BIG!”

    (I stop talking and let her go on. After a while and to my surprise, my coworker, who is always quiet speaks up.)

    Coworker: “Actually, this sounds like a great idea. I am not sure how they do it, but we could probably do it.”

    (My jaw drops. My boss is happy and leaves.)

    Me: “Why in the world would you say that?”

    Coworker: “Well, you will have to join me in this “research.” I take it we will need about a week or so to realize it is not really possible and report to her accordingly.”

    (So we played with motion detection game for a week and while I was a little nervous about how we are going to tell her that it’s not that easy, she had already forgotten about that by Friday.)

    Drawer-ing Conclusions

    | Europe | Coworkers

    (Back from a business trip, I bought a crossword puzzle magazine to kill time during the flight. I didn’t finish all the puzzles, so I put it in my drawer.)

    Coworker: “Can I borrow your stapler?”

    Me: “Sure, help yourself. It’s in the first drawer at my desk.”

    Coworker: *opening drawer* “Uh-uh. You really shouldn’t do this.”

    Me: “I really shouldn’t do what?”

    Coworker: “Doing crosswords at your desk.”

    Me: “[Coworker], have you ever seen me slacking on the job? What makes you think all of a sudden I start doing crosswords at my desk?”

    Coworker: “There’s a magazine in your drawer!”

    Me: “There’s also a toilet paper roll in that drawer. Does that imply that I crap at the desk?”

    The Unmentionable Problem

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (About two or three months back we learned the hard way that there is a leak in my work area. We discovered extensive mold in the attic and the three contractors we brought in to give quotes were horrified at the condition of the roof. Sadly we had this conversation twice.)

    Boss: “Hey. Do you still have that leak in the office?”

    Me: “Yeah. I just empty the bucket whenever it gets full.”

    Boss: “Oh. I figured since you hadn’t mentioned it that maybe it wasn’t a problem anymore. I guess I’ll look at those quotes again.”

    Can’t Break Bread With This Coworker

    | Singapore | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I have a colleague [Colleague #1] who is very greedy and does not respect boundaries. He often takes other colleagues’ food from the office fridge even though it has been clearly labelled with their name. This happens during an in-house conference where I overhear a conversation between him and another colleague. Colleague #2 has prepared a sandwich for her breakfast but left it on the chair in her purse right at the top with the purse open while she went to use the ladies’. She comes back to find him eating her sandwich.)

    Colleague #2: “[Colleague #1]! Why are you eating my breakfast?”

    Colleague #1: “Was it your breakfast? I thought [Company] catered breakfast for everyone.”

    Colleague #2: “Do you see anyone else eating?”

    Colleague #1: “…No?”

    Colleague #2: “Do you see any food service laid out?”

    Colleague #1: “…No.”

    Colleague #2: “And my breakfast was on my chair! In my bag! You took it out of my bag! You can’t say you don’t know that someone is occupying this seat! ”

    Colleague #1: “But there was nobody there!”

    (Colleague #1 also never apologised, never offered to replace the sandwich or make any compensation, and even criticised the sandwich for being “not very good.”)

    These Forms Are To Be Signed With Blood

    | Italy | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Language & Words

    (My job consists of handling subcontracts for my company. Typically the customers require a lot of documents before giving the go-ahead, including our workers’ training certificates, vaccination cards, and so on. One day I receive this call…)

    Caller: “Good morning, this is [Customer Company]. We’ll need the DNA from one of your workers.”

    Me: “Uhm. First, is this even legal, and second, how am I supposed to send it to you?”

    Caller: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “How do I get DNA from our worker, provided that he allows me to do that, and how do I physically transfer it to you?”

    Caller: “You can download it from the Employment Office website, fill in with your worker’s details, and send it via email or fax.”

    (The penny drops…)

    Me: “Oh, so you’re telling me DNA is a form?”

    Caller: “Sure, it’s the (Italian for: Declaration of New Hiring)… Wait, you thought we wanted actual DNA from the guy?”

    Me: “It wouldn’t be the strangest request I’ve had.”

    Page 1/7312345...Last
    Next Page »
    Yixing Teapots Wholesale Yixing Teapots