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    Digging A Deeper Hole For Themselves

    | NV, USA | Job Seekers, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m standing in the elevator with a well-dressed but nervous looking young woman. She turns to me.)

    Woman: “Do you work in [Department]?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “Is the department head nice? I’m going to my interview right now and I’m really worried that he’ll be an a**-hole or something. This is my first job and I’m kind of freaking out.”

    (She giggles nervously. I blink at her a few times, then offer her my hand.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m [Department Head]. You must be [Name]. I promise I’m not an a**-hole.”

    (She turned red and started apologizing profusely. Luckily, I thought it was funny, and ended up hiring her. She’s still one of my best employees.)

    Failed The Draft

    | Richmond, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve drafted a report, which I hand to my supervisor to proofread. He scribbles down some annotations in red pen and hands it back to me. I go back to my desk to update it. Quarter of an hour later, he comes over to see how I’m progressing. He promptly picks up the draft copy off the desk.)

    Supervisor: “Why is this covered in red pen? You need to keep reports neat!”

    Me: “Er… that’s the draft you’re looking at. You put the red pen there.”

    Supervisor: *ignores me* “I told you to extend this section here. Why haven’t you done it?”

    Me: “I have, if you’ll just look at the computer screen.”

    Supervisor: *continues reading the draft* “Why haven’t you moved this paragraph to here?”

    Me: “Again, I have, could you please look at the copy I’m actually working on.”

    Supervisor: “If you’re not going to listen to me, there’s no point in me checking it. Now get on with updating it!”

    (He actually did this several times while I was working there. I suspect he was doing it deliberately.)

    First Day Shake Downs

    | ON, Canada | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (I go for a job interview at an office and as I’m early stop off in the bathroom to check my appearance. While I’m there someone uses a stall and then walks out without washing her hands. I find this really gross, but don’t dare say anything. Five minutes later I go to the interview room:)

    Interviewer: “Hello, I’m [Interviewer]. You must be [My Name].” *holds out hand to shake*

    (Guess whose hand I had to shake?)

    A Minor Business Flaw

    | NJ, USA | Job Seekers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am fresh out of tech school and looking for a job. I apply to everything I can find that has ‘computer’ in the job title. While some of the interviews are doomed from the start, looking for ’5-10 years’ experience’ with software that was barely two years old or something, this one really takes the cake. I am in the lobby while I and the other gentleman for an interview are waiting to get called in.)

    Me: “Man, I’m kinda nervous about this.”

    Him: “Yeah, it’s sorta exciting though, isn’t it? Breaking into the business!”

    Me: “Well yeah, it’s just a little intimidating, every place I’ve been to so far has sprung up some new, crazy ‘requirement’ that was never mentioned before come the interview.”

    Him: “I know, right? I mean I just got my BA in Computer Sciences, and so many places disrespect that!”

    Me: “Wait, Computer “Sciences? Programming, networking or hardware?”

    Him: “No, just general theory.”

    Me: “Oh. You know this job is for a junior software engineer, right?”

    Him: “Oh yeah, yeah! I messed around with some V-Basic too, I should be good.”

    (I specifically knew this job required knowledge of C++, Visual Basic, database management and several other complicated systems, all of which were part of my tech-school training. Then I go into the interview, only to be told that it wasn’t a “requirement” but it would have been “helpful” if I also had “at least a minor in business”. Guess what mister I-can’t-even-program-a-login-screen had?)

    Don’t Box In His Abilities

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

    Me: “[Manager], can I please borrow your [specific textbook], and take it home over the weekend?”

    Manager: “Sure.”

    (Then I see that, due to our recent office move, my manager’s stuff is still all in five or six boxes.)

    Me: “Wait, is it going to be a pain to find?”

    (Manager opens the top box and in one move of the hand locates the book in question.)

    Me: “Nice! Can you similarly lay your hand on any other item I might mention?”

    Manager: “Of course! You doubt me?!”

    Me: “Yes, I doubt you!”


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