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    Service Request Is Stalled

    | Redmond, WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am the receptionist at a local office park. Today an employee came down with a very embarrassed grin on her face.)

    Employee: “Hello. Uh, could I please ask you to submit a service request?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s it concerning?”

    Employee: “Uh, could I write it down on a post-it note for you?”

    (I’m confused by this but oblige her. She manages to write down a few words

    before breaking down into hysterical laughter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you okay?”

    Employee: “Yes, fine! Just… Oh, you are not going to believe this.”

    (She starts writing again, and then breaks down in laughter again. Seeing my increasingly perplexed expression only makes her giggle harder as she finishes her note and hands it back to me.)

    Employee: “You can use my exact wording there if it’ll help. I need to go home and change clothes.”

    (She bolted out of the lobby, and on the way out I noticed several dark stains on her pants. I looked at the note which read, “1st floor ladies’ toilets. 3rd stall lock is broken and toilet overflowed. (I literally had to crawl through s*** to get out!) Miss [Coworker] can bear witness.” I later asked said coworker who told with much amusement how she indeed happened to be using the sink when the poor employee scrambled out from under the locked stall door Indiana Jones style, with a tide of dirty water chasing after her.)

    On A Bad Roll

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work in an office as one of three female admins. I have worked with Coworker #1 for two years and we make fun of each other a lot. Coworker #2 has been around for five months and this is one of the reasons we don’t care for her:)

    Coworker #1: *after walking out of the bathroom* “[My Name]! I can’t believe you didn’t replace the toilet paper on the roll when it was empty!”

    (I couldn’t figure out if she was messing with me or not because the tissue was low when I was last in there but not gone. I was about to respond when…)

    Coworker #2: “That was me. I found the extra toilet paper but I didn’t put the roll on because I was on my lunch break.”

    Runs A Clean Business

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees

    (My husband runs his own business out of our spare room which has been turned into his office. Although he has no employees other than himself he likes to refer to himself as the CEO. On the day in question he is doing some spring cleaning. The home phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Friend: “Is the CEO around?”

    Me: “No, he’s not here right now, but you can speak to [Husband] the janitor.”

    Aggravating But Also Aware

    | TX, USA | Employees, Language & Words, Top

    (A number of years ago I was doing some service work for a particularly obnoxious client. I had done work for him before, and he was always obnoxious.)

    Me: “And here’s your invoice.”

    Customer: “I noticed this on previous invoices and wondered what the 10% A & I charge was for.”

    Me: “That’s an ‘aggravation and irritation’ charge for having to deal with your sorry personality.”

    Customer: “I can understand that. You do good work and are reliable, so keep charging that and I’ll keep calling you.”

    A Rude Awakening

    | USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have this incompetent coworker who always comes in late, leaves when she wants to, and does Facebook and chats on the phone all the time instead of working. She’s friends with the boss, so complaining is futile.)

    Me: *checking watch* “Look, she’s late as usual by an hour. What bad work habits.”

    Coworker: “That means we’ll have to pick up her slack.” *heavily sighs*

    (Suddenly, the incompetent coworker flies out from the back at me, with her coat on half way, clearly just arriving.)

    Incompetent Coworker: “Excuse me, [My Name]. I would appreciate you not talking about me behind my back!”

    Me: “Why don’t you shape up then?”

    Incompetent Coworker: “Excuse me! This is not about my work habits, it’s about you talking behind my back!” *cracks knuckles threateningly* “So stop!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You’re more worried about people talking about you than your bad work habits?”

    Incompetent Coworker: “It’s rude!”

    Me: “You seriously can’t expect us to be happy about picking your slack up all the time!”

    Incompetent Coworker: “How rude!”

    (She started actually coming in on time after that, but quickly went back to her old ways after a while, shooting me dirty looks whenever she passed.)

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