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    The Bill That Keeps On Billing

    | Bristol, CT, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money

    (I had my eyes checked while still living in Connecticut, and while I still had insurance. I recently moved to California, and while I set up mail forwarding I wasn’t necessarily getting all my mail from Connecticut. This happens after I call my eye doctor in Connecticut to get a copy of my eye glass and contact prescription information.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I’d like to get a copy of my eye glass and contact lens prescription. They are less than a year old and I’m going to a new doctor this week and I want to provide records”

    Receptionist: “Of course. Let me look up that information… I see here you have a balance due. Will you be paying that now?”

    Me: “Um, excuse me? What do I have a balance due for?”

    Receptionist: “For your eye exam from last December. If you don’t pay it I can’t give you the information you’ve requested.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’m not going to pay right this second, considering it’s now 8 months later and this is the first I’m hearing about this.”

    Receptionist: “This is NOT the first time you are hearing about this. We’ve been sending you a bill every month since January and you haven’t paid us. We’re going to have to send you to collections for not paying this bill and refusing to pay it now.”

    Me: “Okay, hold up a second. I never got the bill. I moved shortly after the exam and I set up mail forwarding, but I know that sometimes medical forms cannot be forwarded. Maybe that’s what happened. So, yes, this is the first time I’m hearing about it.”

    Receptionist: “Well, you’re still refusing to pay so I’m going to send you to collections.”

    Me: “I’m not refusing to pay, but I am not just going to pay a bill over the phone without having a bill and the information in front of me. Also, I’d like to call my old insurance company to figure out what happened, because I was supposed to be insured through January. Besides, if I never paid the bill and you had to keep sending notices without any indication that I got them why wasn’t I ever called?”

    Receptionist: “That’s not our policy to call. Besides when people get bills, they just pay them. I don’t know why you didn’t.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m trying to tell you I moved. I never got the bill you sent me. I’m not sure why it wasn’t forwarded, but I never got a bill. Again, I ask how come no one ever called me, and if you knew shortly after said eye exam that my insurance wasn’t going to cover it, after I paid my co-pay and signed the form and your office told me I was all set, how was I supposed to know that I had a balance owed?”

    Receptionist: “You just need to pay your bills when you get them. Why is that so hard to understand? It’s not our fault your insurance didn’t go through! Pay your bill now that you know you owe it!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to pay the bill until I see a bill, and YOUR office told me I was all set when I was checking out. You told me my insurance co-pay was all I needed to pay, so that’s what I paid. I’m sorry for the error, but I didn’t know there was a remaining balance.”

    Receptionist: “We sent you bills every month and you haven’t paid yet. You’re refusing to pay now!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I didn’t get the bills in the mail, and no one ever called me. If you had called me and said there was a problem I could have 1) given you my new address so you could send a bill, 2) called my insurance company while they were still my insurance company in January, and  3) got this all taken care before you had to send me multiple bills. At this point me not paying the bill is on you because I was not notified.”

    Receptionist: “It’s not our policy to call people to pay their bills. It’s our policy that we send out bills and people just pay them. That’s what you should have done. People pay their bills, ma’am.”

    Me: “Okay, lady, I’m going to pay the bill. I just want to see it first and I want to call my old insurance company to see if they can figure out what happened. Please send me a bill to my new address and I will attempt to figure it out”

    Receptionist: “So you want the bill sent to 411 East #### City, CT #### ?”

    Me: “Um, no. First off, if that’s the address you’ve been sending the bill too, it was never going to get to me. That’s not even my old address. My address was 311… So, that’s probably why I didn’t get the bill. And second, I just said I was going to give you the address I want it sent to.”

    Receptionist: “Well, it’s not MY fault you gave us the wrong address! And I can’t send it to a different address; I have to send it to the one you provided!”

    Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’m pretty sure I filled out a bunch of forms at your office with my correct address on them. I’m also pretty sure I gave you my insurance card, also with my address on it, so someone in your office must have made a typo. So, thank you for sending my medical bills to someone else for the last 8 months. I’m pretty sure I could filed a complaint about that. And another thing, if you HAD JUST CALLED ME when I didn’t pay the bill in January we could have sorted this whole thing out eight months ago. So, no, ma’am, I never received a bill, and no, ma’am, I was not aware of it ever, because your office sent it to the wrong address.”

    Receptionist: “WE DON’T CALL PEOPLE! YOU ARE JUST EXPECTED TO PAY YOUR BILL WHEN WE SEND IT TO YOU!!!”

    Me: “That’s enough. I want to speak to your supervisor!”

    Receptionist: “She’s going to tell you the same thing!” *to her supervisor* “There is a woman on the phone who refuses to pay her bill. I’ve been telling her that we’ve been billing her for eight months and she needs to go to collections!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay your bill today. We’ve been billing you for eight months and you haven’t paid at all.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s not what’s happening. I just found out today for some reason my insurance company didn’t pay for the exam from last December. Your receptionist, just told me YOUR office had my address wrong in the system, so that’s why the mail didn’t get forwarded to me in California. She also told me it was not the policy of this office to call people when there is a problem with billing. So, you’re right I refuse to pay this bill today, but not because I’m not going to pay my bill. I just want a copy of the bill sent to me in California, which your receptionist also told me she couldn’t do because it wasn’t the address I provided back in December, which your office put in the system wrong to begin with. I also would like a copy of my glasses and contact prescription sent along with that bill. I need to give it to my new eye doctor.”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, I can’t give you any information until you pay your bill, and I’ll have to send it to collections if you don’t pay with in 30 days.”

    Me: “Then please send me the bill to my new address and I will get this taken care of. But unless I see a bill, how do I even know what I’m paying for?”

    Supervisor: “I guess we can do that, but you really should have paid the bill when you first got it.”

    Me: *bangs head on desk* “I give up. My new address is [Address in California]. Please send out the bill today and I will get this taken care of.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, but you really need to pay your bill. You haven’t paid it in eight months and we’ve been sending you a new bill every month.”

    A Perfectly Framed Argument

    | Fredericton, NB, Canada | Health & Body, Top

    (After noticing the my current prescription for my glasses isn’t strong enough, I go an optometrist near my university. The optometrist in my home town is a two-day drive away, and I won`t be back home for almost an entire school year. I see the doctor, get my new prescription, choose my frames and am told that I only have to pay for everything when the glasses come in. Over the course of the year, I call, but am told that they aren’t in yet. After a year, I go to another place and get my glasses there. Finally after 18-months of waiting, the first place calls me.)

    Receptionist: “Hello, is [my name] there?”

    Me: “This is she.”

    Receptionist: “Hello, this is [optometrist] calling to tell you that your glasses have arrived, and are ready to be picked up.”

    Me: “Umm, actually, I got tired of waiting and went somewhere else.”

    Receptionist: *rudely* “You ordered glasses with us, and then go elsewhere?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. If you check the date on the frames, you’ll notice that I ordered them over 18-months ago. I kinda needed new glasses before I graduated from university.”

    Receptionist: *click*

    Infinitely Loopy, Part 6

    | AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m at the optician. After spending several minutes adjusting my new glasses to sit properly on my face, the optician realizes that she has to adjust the ear pieces. This is because one of my ears is slightly lower than the other.)

    Optician: “Here they are! They look great!” *hands me my glasses*

    Me: “Great! They really are nice and level now!”

    Optician: “And here’s a nice hard case that comes with them so they won’t be damaged.” *hands me the case*

    Me: “Um, these won’t fit in this case. Can I have a soft one?”

    (I show her how the adjusted ear piece prevents the case from closing all the way.)

    Optician: “Oh, I can fix that!”

    (The optician takes out the glasses and bends the ear piece that she just spent 10 minutes working on back into its original position.)

    Optician: “See? Now it closes.”

    Me: *sighs*

    (I pull the glasses out and put them on my face. As expected, they are now completely askew.)

    Optician: “Oh, um, let’s fix those.”

    (10 minutes later, they look good again.)  

    Optician: “All set!”

    Me: “Can I have that soft case, please?”

    Optician: “Don’t you want the protective hard one?”

    Me: “No. Remember how they don’t fit in there?”

    Optician: “Um, okay, if you’re sure…” *hands me a soft case* ”Anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “No. Please don’t help me any more.”

    Related:
    Infinitely Loopy, Part 5
    Infinitely Loopy, Part 4
    Infinitely Loopy, Part 3
    Infinitely Loopy, Part 2
    Infinitely Loopy

    Right In Front Of Your Nose

    | London, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have an eye test and am looking for new glasses to purchase. I had already seen a pair I liked on a previous visit; they’re just the pair I currently own, but in a different color combination.)

    Me: “I was interested in a pair just like mine, but in purple and black instead of blue and brown.”

    Optician: “Let me have a look if we still have it in the back…”

    (She goes off, comes back, asks to see my glasses for their reference, goes again and returns to hand me back my glasses.)

    Optician: “It looks like we are out of the purple and black ones. But we still have the blue and brown!”

    Me: “Well, I already have the blue and brown.”

    Optician: *silent*

    Me: “…right now as we speak…”

    Optician: *still silent*

    Me: “…on my nose!”

    Optician: *completely serious* “Oh, really?”

    Your Service Is Crazy, So Call Me Maybe

    | Newport, England, UK | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (Note: I’ve ordered some glasses on a 2-for-1 offer.)

    Optician: “We’ll have them ready for you in a couple of weeks. We’ll give you a call to come in when they are ready.”

    Me: “I can just pop by in a couple of weeks.”

    Optician: “No, we’ll call you when they’re ready.”

    (Two weeks pass without a call from the optician, so I decide to pop in anyway.)

    Me: “Are my glasses ready yet?”

    Optician: “No. We said we’d call you when they’re in.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Optician: *sighs* “Let me check…”

    (They pop off to the back before returning.)

    Optician: “Okay, one pair is in, but the other pair got damaged when they were making it. We don’t know when it will come in. We will call you when it comes in.”

    Me: “I can just pop in in a few weeks.”

    Optician: “No. We will call you when it’s in. Don’t come in till then!”

    (Three weeks go by, and again there is no phone call. So, I decide to go in anyway.)

    Me: “Hi, have my glasses come in?”

    Optician: “We said we’d call you when they are in!”

    Me: “Can you check anyway?”

    Optician: *checks* “Oh… wait. Yes, here they are!”


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