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    Not Enough ‘G-Force’

    | USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (I am calling my pharmacy regarding a mail order sent to me at college. It is routed through a call center rather than a local pharmacy.)

    Employee: “May I please have the name the prescription is under?”

    Me: “Gregory [Last Name].”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, I’m not seeing that. Is there another name it might be under?”

    Me: “Try ‘Greg’ instead of ‘Gregory.’ My doctor might have used that.”

    Employee: “Is that Greg with one ‘G’ or two?”

    Me: “One.”

    Employee: “I’m still not seeing that in our system.”

    Me: “You’re spelling my last name [spelling], correct?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Me: “And you’re spelling ‘Greg’ as G-R-E-G?”

    Employee: “No, sir, we are spelling it with one ‘G.'”

    Me: “That’s correct. There is only one ‘G’ at the end, not two.”

    Employee: “So the ‘G’ is at the end, not the beginning?”

    Me: “No, there’s one ‘G’ at the beginning and one G at the end.”

    Employee: “So then there are two ‘G’s?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes, I suppose so.”

    Failing Medication

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m trying to change to a pharmacy that’s closer to my place. I go up to the closest desk. It looks like they’ve just hired some new staff.)

    Me: “Hi. I need to pick up my prescription, but I usually get it at a different place. Can I get it done here instead?”

    Woman: “Over at the other desk. You’ll need to give them your information.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I go over to the other desk, only to be ignored by the trainees. The pharmacist tells one of them to help me. The same woman walks over.)

    Woman: “So, I need your last name and first name.”

    Me: “It’s [spelled out Last Name] and [spelled out First Name].”

    Woman: “Oh, wait, I’m not in the system! Help!”

    (She gets help getting in, and then gets my information again.)

    Woman: “So, your first name is C-A-S-E-N-D-R-A?”

    Me: “No. C-A-S-S-A-N-D-R-A.”

    Woman: “….No ‘E’, two ‘S’?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “And your address?”

    Me: “[1-2-3-4] N-O-”

    Woman: “Wait! Too fast! [1-2-2-3]?”

    Me: *starting to doubt this place* “[1-2-3-4) N-O-”

    Woman: “‘N’ as in Norma?”

    Me: “…Yes. [Rest of address].”

    Woman: “Phone number?”

    Me: “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA”

    Woman: “It’s not showing up.”

    Me: *thinking I gave the wrong number* “What about YYY-WWW-AAAA?”

    Woman: “No… Help!”

    (The pharmacist comes over and clicks a button.)

    Woman: “Phone number?”

    Me: *looking up number to be sure* “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA.”

    Woman: “Hey, it worked! And the location to transfer from?”

    Me: “It’s [Location].”

    Woman: “Oh, I don’t know that one… Wait, is it in [same location, different name]?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “And the medication?”

    Me: “It’s [Medication].”

    Woman: *blank look*

    Me: “…It’s a birth control pill.”

    Woman: “OH! Oh, yes, that!”

    Me: “When can I get it?”

    Woman: “What?”

    Me: “I usually get it in three month packs. I’m on my last month. When can I get it?”

    Woman: “Well, we need to call it in…. You get it as three month doses?”

    Me: “Yeah. I just opened my last pack. I need another three months worth. When can I get it?”

    Woman: “Try… later.”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (Here’s hoping I get it!)

    Prescribe Me Whatever They’re Having!

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I am a home health aide picking up a prescription for my client.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m picking up a prescription for [Client].”

    Pharmacist: “All right, and what is the date of birth?”

    Me: “It’s [birth date].” *note that I’m twenties and my client is in her sixties*

    Pharmacist: “So, is this you?”

    Me: “What do you think?”

    Needs To Prescribe Themselves Some Attentiveness

    | MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve been going to the same chain drugstore for a while now. Having moved and been diagnosed with diabetes, taking medication has become a fairly standard part of my life. I am picking some prescriptions when I am told that they can’t find one I had refilled the night before.)

    Clerk: “Huh, that’s strange. It says it was filled this morning by [Pharmacist] but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Well, I really kinda need it. It’s a diabetic medication and I really can’t go skipping a day.”

    (The clerk tells me if I’m willing to wait 20 minutes that they can refill it. I pay for my other medications and he bags them.)

    Clerk: “Okay, that’s all done if you’ll just step to the side at that window they’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

    (I am confused but do as he says as he makes a motion to move my bag of prescriptions to wait with me. The woman behind me, a snobby soccer mom if there was one, immediately steps up as I edge away from the counter. She states her name loudly and starts complaining about how long she’s had to wait and how they really need more staff. After 15 minutes, the people at the other counter confirm what I need and have me sit down. When my prescription is ready I am once again called to the clerk to pay for the last one.)

    Clerk: “Okay and your total is [total]. Would you like to add this to your other bag?”

    (He offers the prescription towards me and I give him a hard look.)

    Me: “You can put it in with the rest of my medications you have.”

    Clerk: “Ma’am, I already gave you your medications.”

    (I look at him and gesture towards my t-shirt, jeans and non-existent purse.)

    Me: “And where exactly do you think I have them? You kept my medications. You never handed them to me.”

    Clerk: “You took your prescriptions. I bagged them and handed them to you.”

    Me: “You did bag them, and then you told me to move to the other window. You never handed them to me.”

    (It was at this time one of the actual pharmacists stepped over.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am. Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “Yes. Your clerk is trying to claim that I have given me my meds but I never got them. I have the one.” *I hold up the one he just rang* “But I don’t know what he did with the other three.”

    (The clerk has now given up and is completely ignoring me, ringing up other customers behind me.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like me to call a manager?”

    Me: “Yes, please do. I want you to watch the security footage and find out where my medications went.”

    (I am asked to wait and within a minute a manager shows up. He’s one I’ve dealt with before and have gotten fairly friendly with.)

    Manager: “Don’t worry, [My Name]. We’ll get this all sorted out.”

    Me: “You know I hadn’t thought about it till now, but the girl behind me was named [Name]. You may need to call her.”

    (Another 30 minutes and four missing refills later, it was discovered that the clerk had indeed bagged my medication, and then proceeded to bag the snobby lady’s meds on top of mine and hand her the entire bag. I haven’t seen that clerk at that store since.)

    Calling For Backup Without Actually Calling For Backup

    | Jersey City, NJ, USA | Employees

    (I have a stuttering problem that is often under control, except for when I have to talk for an extended period of time. Being put on register, repeating the same phrases, makes this stutter worse and I begin to flub my words, or say the wrong phrases. I am assigned to register duty for my entire shift, even though I normally work stock. We have a code we use over the intercom to request for backup if the lines get too long.)

    Me: *going to the speaker so I can call for backup* “Next customer, please! Wow…”

    (I immediately catch myself as to what I have just said, and start laughing INTO the speaker while paging for backup.)

    Coworker & Manager: *both come up to the register to see me and several customers on the line laughing; they themselves are laughing as well*

    Me: “Can you tell I’ve been up here for too long?”


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