(My husband and I decide to order pizza from a place which going out of business. I walk in with my infant son in his carseat. Although there are four girls at the counter, not one pays attention to me for a good ten minutes. Finally, I speak up.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Girl #1: “Ugh, what?! Can’t you see I’m talking?”

Me: “Uh, I’m here to pick up a pizza.”

Girl #2: “That’s, like, not our job.”

Me: “Well, can you get the person who’s job it is?”

Girl #2: “Fine! Gawd!”

(She storms off to the back, while her friends roll their eyes at me. My son starts to get fussy, so I reach down to play with him. I have a very large tattoo across my shoulders, memorializing my parents who died in a car crash.)

Girl #1: “Do you see that piece of s*** on her back?!”

Girl #3: “Oh my god.”

Girl #4: “Ha! No wonder she’s so rude. She’s a f***ing goth!”

Me: “Who the f*** do you think you are, little girl.”

Girl #4: “You can’t talk to me, li—”

Me: “The h*** I can’t! You and your friends have been nothing but rude since I got here! And I—”

(A large man appears. His name tag says manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am you can’t talk to my employees like that.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “These girls are the best employees I’ve ever had.”

Me: “If they are, no wonder this place is closing. I will be taking my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THE FOOD!”

(I leave anyway. The store closed not long after that, and guess which four girls decided to apply at my restaurant? I may have been rude, but those girls should never work in food service!)

(My boyfriend and I ordered food from a popular pizza chain and have already finished our meal. At about 11 pm we receive a phone call on his cell phone from an out of state number, saying that this is [popular pizza chain] and that they are sending someone in 5 minutes to pick up our uneaten food. Knowing that this is a prank, my boyfriend hangs up. The prankster then calls back two more times, swearing at us and threatening to come to our house to take whatever he wants. My boyfriend calls the pizza place to talk to the manager.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, I need to speak with a manager.”

Worker: “He’s busy right now.”

Boyfriend: “One of your employees just called and threatened me. I need to speak with your manager!”

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Boyfriend: “Do you have anyone working there named Gary? Or someone with a phone number from [different state]?”

Manager: “No, we do not. ”

Boyfriend: “Well, I just received a threatening phone call from a guy named Gary, stating to be from [popular pizza chain], saying that he was going to be at our house in five minutes to collect our uneaten food. He had my name, phone number, address, and credit card information.”

Manager: “Oh yeah, that’s my bad. It’s just a prankster, so don’t worry about it.”

Boyfriend: “Don’t worry about it?! This guy has all of my information and could be a crazy person! How did he get my information?”

Manager: “Well, someone called saying they were from corporate and wanted all of the information for the most recent orders.”

Boyfriend: “So you just gave it to him without checking that he was really from corporate?”

Manager: “We’ve been busy all night! I don’t have time to check about that!”

(We had to call and file a report with the police and cancel our credit card. What made it even worse is when we contacted corporate about this breach in security, their response was, “Well, we can’t do anything about it because it’s a franchised location.”)

Related:
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
Giving A Pizza My Mind

Employee: “Hi, [pizza place], what can I get for you today?”

My Friend: “We’ll have a large pizza with green pepper, tomatoes, and onions. Then, on one side, add olives, and on the other side, add mushrooms.”

Employee: “Okay, so… what do you want on it?”

My Friend: “Er… well, on the entire pizza, we’d like green pepper, tomato, and onion…”

Employee: “Okay.”

My Friend: “Then, on one side, add olives…”

Employee: “Alright.”

My Friend: “…and on the OTHER side, mushrooms.”

(There is a 20 second pause on the other end of the phone while the employee processes this request.)

Employee: “…mushrooms…”

(Of course, when we picked up our pizza, it had mushrooms on the entire thing.)

Related:
Deep Ditz Pizza

(A local pizza parlor is having a $5 special for medium pizzas.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a medium cheese pizza with light sauce.”

Cashier: “That will be $6.”

Me: “The special says medium pizzas are $5, not $6.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but toppings are $1 extra.”

Me: “I didn’t order any toppings.”

Cashier: “Yes, you did. You ordered light sauce.”

Me: “So, you want to charge me more for putting less sauce on my pizza?”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

(I ended up just getting it with regular sauce as to not cause a fuss.)

(I live in a housing complex that is a bit hard to navigate through. When we order pizza, we are usually able to direct the delivery driver without any problems. This driver, however, seems to be a bit slow.)

Delivery Driver: *on the phone* “So, like, I saw the cross streets are, like, First and Main? So, I’m like, at First and Grand, and I don’t see it.”

Me: “Yeah, go west down Main and turn onto [side street]. Once you’re there, tell me and I’ll give you directions. It’s kind of tricky.”

Delivery Driver: “Umm, west? Like, left or right?”

Me: “Uh… back toward [pizza place].”

Delivery Driver: “Oh, haha! Okay… okay, I’m like, here, I think.”

Me: “Okay, once you enter the complex, turn left and follow that road around until you’re facing north. I’ll meet you outside.”

Delivery Driver: “North? Like, left or right?”

Me: “North, as in, facing the freeway.”

Delivery Driver: “Umm…”

Me: “You’re essentially following the road around to the back of the complex. You’ll be facing the freeway on-ramp, and I’ll be outside.”

Delivery Driver: “Okay, so like, a right? I see a bunch of mailboxes.”

Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong way.. Turn around and make a right on the first street you see…”

(This continues until I realize she’s left the complex entirely and is back on the main road. Frustrated, my boyfriend takes the phone from me and tries directing her.)

My Boyfriend: “Okay, so turn left into the complex, make the first left and follow that around until you’re facing the mall.”

Delivery Driver: *lightbulb goes on* “OH! Like, the mall? Oh, okay! Totally!”

(With “the mall” advice, she was at our door in less than three minutes!)