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    Disrespect My Authoritah

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bosses & Owners, Math & Science

    (I am working in a roading company. One of our tests is to rate stone chips for cleanliness in order to see if they can be used for certain applications. This test has a 20 minute waiting period for settling in a column of water. Note that all tests in a laboratory like this need to be done to a proscribed international standard, or the laboratory can be closed down.)

    Supervisor: “Are you doing the Cleanness tests?”

    Me: “Yes, there’s five of them.”

    Supervisor: “How come you take so long to do them? I hear you sit the tubes on the bench for 20 minutes!”

    Me: “That’s part of the test procedure.”

    Supervisor: *laughs* “You come up with some good excuses to slack off, I’ll give you that! Look, you know you can work around the manual, don’t you? There’s bound to be some short cut in it!”

    Me: “I don’t think there is, but if you can find one, I’ll do it gladly.”

    Supervisor: “I’m going to check out the manual right now. You try and challenge me, and you’ll see what happens!”

    (I get two tests done completely and am working on a third when he returns.)

    Supervisor: *grinning* “So, you think you’re pretty clever about the Cleanness test method?”

    Me: “Well, I have been doing it for—”

    Supervisor: “Oh, you were right…but I’ve just been into your personnel file and written a note saying you have a problem with authority. How do you like THOSE onions, clever boy?!”

    (From then on, every time we had a new manager—which we did frequently—the person with a “problem with authority” was always singled out and made special notice of by the new manager.)

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    June Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Bosses!

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    Chemically Imbalanced

    (I have just started work with a new company to get some experience during my senior year of college. This happens during my first week.)

    Boss: “Okay, I need you to take all these chemicals out of this barrel and put them in the cabinet here.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem. So why are they all thrown into this barrel? Just using it to move them around?”

    Boss: “No, actually, the EPA tried to confiscate all of them, but I stole them back!”

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    An Accident Fating To Happen

    (I work in a research facility in the middle of nowhere, so I need my car to get to work. One night on the way home in bad weather, my car skids and hits a tree. After calling the police and my fiancé, I call my boss.)

    Me: “Hi, it’s [name] from unit 8. I just wanted to call and say I won’t be in tomorrow. I’ve just had a car accident.”

    Boss: “Oh my gosh, are you okay?”

    Me: “I’m okay, but I think my car’s a write-off. I won’t be in until my insurance sorts a replacement.”

    Boss: “Okay, I’ll let everyone know.”

    Me: “I can’t really afford to take any unpaid leave right now. Would it be okay if tomorrow was classed as annual holiday? I’ve got some time saved up.”

    Boss: “No problem.”

    (I get a courtesy sorted the next day and only took one day off. A week later, though…)

    Me: “Hi. I just got my payslip for last week and it’s a day short. Could you check that for me?”

    Boss: *checks payslip* “Okay, I see it was for the day you had off after your car accident.”

    Me: “But I thought we’d agreed that would be annual leave? Shouldn’t I have holiday pay for it?”

    Boss: “We did. But you didn’t fill out a holiday form before you took the day off. I should have had the form a week before you had the accident!”

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