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    A Smooth Operator

    , | Oakville, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, New Hires

    (After work I go to get a cookie and a smoothie.)

    Me: “Hi, can get a [cookie] and a strawberry banana smoothie, please?”

    Employee: *throws her arms up in the air* “YAY!” *turns to the new guy she’s training* “YOU get to make a smoothie!” *turns to me* “I’ve been waiting all day for somebody to order one!”

    Me: *amused but somewhat at a loss* “Um… glad I could help with that?”

    (The new guy made a good smoothie!)

    We’ve Reached A Dirty Fork In The Road

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    Dad: “Ma’am?” *waves to the waitress* “I’m sorry, but half of these utensils are filthy.”

    Waitress: “Oh, my! Here, let me go replace them for you. I’m sorry!”

    Dad: “Thank you.”

    (The waitress comes out with a new set for everyone. My dad finds out that these are just as filthy as the bunch he sent back.)

    Waitress: “Let me get the manager to figure this out.” *goes to the kitchen*

    Manager: *comes out of the kitchen, holding a handful of dripping wet utensils* “Here!” *slams his fist onto the table* “You pick which ones you want!”

    (My father left when he saw that in the middle of the utensils the manager grabbed was a slice of tomato.)

    A Salted With Spit

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (My family had finished moving furniture into my cousin’s house. Afterwards we all go out to eat at a well known restaurant. Everything is fine until after we get our food. Our salt shaker seemed to be clogged, and we flagged down a waitress to help us.)

    Dad: “Excuse me our salt shaker is clogged. Can you get us a new one?”

    (The waitress takes the salt shaker and instead of getting a new one, she blows into it, spits on it, and rubs it with a napkin.)

    Waitress: “It should be fine now.”

    (We haven’t gone back since.)

    Not Quite Nuts About Your Allergies

    | Dubai, UAE | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am 14, and my family and I go out for dinner.)

    Waiter: “Here is your food: two 1/2 pound burgers with chips, one serving of sticky pork belly with salad, and one seafood curry.”

    Dad: “The buns on the burgers have sesame seeds.”

    Waiter: “So?”

    Dad: “We said that my son here is allergic to sesame seeds.”

    Waiter: “No, you didn’t.”

    Dad: “Yes, we did. I can assure you of that.”

    Mum: “He did; trust me.”

    Waiter: *sarcastically* “Oh, okay, I’m very sorry. I’ll have his food re-made.”

    (He gives my dad an annoyed look as he walks off. We wait another 20 minutes, at which point my brother’s food arrives again, this time without a sesame seed bun.)

    Waiter: “Terribly sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.”

    (We enjoy our drinks and meals while listening to the music in the background. A little later on we order desserts, and my brother orders a sorbet with a strawberry liquorice strip. At this point we also say that he’s allergic to nuts and eggs as a reminder. Dessert arrives, and there are little beige pieces all around the sorbet, much to my worry.)

    Dad: “Are these nuts?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Let me try one.” *I can’t tell; it’s tasteless*

    Mum: “Maybe you should check with the waiter?”

    Dad: *sigh* “All right.”

    (We call him over and ask him to check. My brother has already eaten a few of the pieces. Waiter comes back.)

    Waiter: “The sorbet does not have egg, but, um… those little pieces are nuts.”

    Dad: “Wait… What did you say?”

    Mum: “What?”

    Waiter: “I said those pieces are nuts.”

    Dad: “I TOLD YOU THAT HE HAS A NUT ALLERGY!”

    Mum: “Did you eat any of those pieces?”

    Brother: *crying* “Yes!”

    Dad: “Get a doctor or something! Get his epipen too! This is outrageous!”

    Waiter: “Sir, I’m sorry…”

    Dad: “I don’t want to hear it. You should have listened to us!”

    (My brother doesn’t have an allergic reaction, and the restaurant manager and doctor are called in. Thankfully they weren’t nuts, but actually little biscuit pieces, to which we were all relieved.)

    Manager: “I’m really sorry about all this.”

    Dad: “It’s all right now, but he hasn’t paid attention to how my son here has allergies!”

    Manager: “Seriously? We take that very seriously here. I shall speak with him.”

    Me: “Thank you very much.”

    Mum: “Yes, thank you.”

    Manager: “It’s all good now. How about I give you all free drinks to say sorry? On the house!”

    Brother: *sniffling* “I’d like that. Yes, please…”

    (So, we got free drinks and had half the price of our meal slashed off. Meanwhile, we have no idea what happened to the waiter. Maybe he got fired.)

    How To Cheese Off The Cashier

    , | Los Angeles, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant normally sells hamburgers for $.89, but they are having a special where two cheeseburgers for $1.00. I don’t eat cheese.)

    Me: “I’d like two cheeseburgers, no cheese, please.”

    Employee: “So, two hamburgers?”

    Me: “Yes, but since cheeseburgers are cheaper now, I want the cheeseburger special. So, cheeseburgers, but no cheese.”

    Employee: “We can’t do that.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Employee: “It’s not a cheeseburger.”

    Me: “Can I get it without pickle?”

    Employee: “Sure, how ever you want it.”

    Me: “Without ketchup?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Me: “No mustard?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    Me: “But not without cheese?”

    Employee: “No, then it’s not a cheeseburger.”

    Me: “But you realize, you have to pay for cheese, so you make more money this way.”

    Employee: “But we can’t do that.”

    Me: “Can I get the cheese on the side?”

    Employee: “Sure.”

    (The employee then took my order, and gave me two hamburgers with a French fry package with two slices of cheese in it. I took the cheese and tossed it in the trash can and walked out.)


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