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    Service Is Not Up To Scratch

    , | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (In this record shop, they put empty CD boxes on the shelves and store the CDs in cardboard wallets behind the till. I took a box to the counter, and told the assistant how happy I was to have found it, a rare CD that I’d wanted for a while. She rang up my purchase, found the cardboard wallet, SHOOK OUT MY NEW CD ONTO THE COUNTER, PRINTED SIDE UP, AND SLID IT OFF THE EDGE TO PICK IT UP. When she gave it to me, I opened the box, looked at the disc, and sure enough, it had several deep, parallel scratches.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but… I don’t want this now that you’ve scratched it.”

    Assistant: *looks at disc* “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “…”

    (Her manager refunded my money, but I never did get a copy of that CD.)

    Go Native Or Go Home

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, History, Language & Words, Top

    (I’m in line at a popular discount retail store, with two people ahead of me. The women at the head of the line is clearly new to English, and while she has a thick accent and struggles, she does her best to speak to the cashier in English, even though he rolls his eyes and makes her repeat everything several times. Finally, she is able to leave. As soon as she’s out of earshot:)

    Cashier: “Ugh, they shouldn’t be allowed in our stores until they learn our language.”

    (The man ahead of me says several things in another language.)

    Cashier: “Oh, man, not another one. This is America. Learn the language.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed you’d learned Cherokee, since you’re so big on people learning the local language. My mistake.”

    (The cashier turned bright red and didn’t say another word through the transaction.)

    Quit, Never To Return

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

    (I recently quit my job. The manager was insane, paranoid, rude, and all around mean spirited. As much as I didn’t want to go back to the store, I had to do a return and was already at the mall with my home store in it. I start feeling sick as I walk in the door and this is what happens. I have about two bags worth of clothes.)

    Manager: “You’re not returning all that here!”

    Me: “Um, yes, I am. I never had a chance to give it as a gift and now I have no use for it.”

    Manager: “Well, that’s really rude of you!”

    Me: “How is it rude?”

    Manager: “You should return it at another store. It’s really rude of you to return it here when you know it affects our numbers!”

    Me: “Not that it’s your business, but I was already up here. I’m not going to go out of my way on my way home just because you’re mad about it.”

    (She then proceeded to take forever with the returns, screwed it up, and had to start over. I ended up doing my own return! I emailed corporate to let them know about the morale they were allowing in their stores!)

    Working In An Animal House

    | Ireland | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (For security reasons, in my job you cannot walk behind the counter without someone opening a door. As a joke, I sometimes scrabble at the door and meow until someone lets me in. My supervisor gets a kick out of this, so I always have to meow to be let in.)

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Why are you meowing?”

    Me: “Oh, [Supervisor] makes me meow before she lets me in.”

    Coworker: “Oh. Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “WOOF.”

    Me: *giving in* “Woof.”

    Coworker: “You sicken me!”

    Denial Is Demanding

    | NSW, Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (We’re on holiday. I walk into the only shop open within walking distance, opposite where we’re staying, to buy a lighter.)

    Employee: “No, we don’t have any. Ugh, people keep coming in all day asking for them and I keep having to explain we don’t have any demand for them!”

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