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    Not Giving You Enough Credit

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My boss is coaching me on how to sell more credit cards and product warranties since my numbers have been fairly low recently:)

    Boss: “I want you asking every customer who comes through your line.”

    Me: “EVERY customer?”

    Boss: “Yes, every customer.”

    Me: “So, what if they are just buying a soda? How am I supposed to ask them if they want [promotional financing plan] on a soda?”

    Boss: “Well, you could still ask them if they want to pay for it with their [Store credit card].”

    Me: “And if a kid comes through my line without his or her parents and buys some candy or a drink?”

    Boss: *blank stare*

    Me: “You have to be at least 18 to apply for the credit card, so I’m not going to offer it to a kid.”

    Boss: “Well, no, I don’t expect you to offer it to kids.”

    Me: “You said, EVERY customer.”

    Boss: “Use discretion.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Boss: “But for the most part, every customer. If I walk by from now on and I don’t hear you saying that, I’m going to think you’re not offering it.”

    (He made me so paranoid about this that sometimes, when someone DID come up with just a soda and nothing else, I would look around to see if any managers were in earshot before I would start ringing up the customer’s soda, because I didn’t want to be caught not offering it… even if it was in a situation where the offer didn’t apply.)

    Price Checked Out

    | England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m shopping with my young daughter in a high street shop; they are famous for having branded items for cheap, often last season or end of line goods.)

    Me: “Excuse me; do you know how much this is?”

    Floor Staff: “Does it not have a price on it?”

    Me: *I pause, thinking about all the sarcastic comments I could make* “No, it doesn’t.”

    Floor Staff: “Okay, well, if you take it downstairs you can get the customer services to price it.”

    (I look from the large box, to the push chair back to the large box.)

    Me: “I’m going to struggle on my own. Is there anyone that can help me?”

    Floor Staff: “Sorry.”

    (Undeterred, I thank her and manage to get in the lift, wait in line, and see customer services.)

    Me: “Can I get a price on this, please?”

    Customer Services: “Sure!”

    (She looks it over, scans the barcode, scans it again, then calls a manager.)

    Customer Services: “Sorry, it is not on the system. My manager said you can have it for £100.”

    Me: “What? That must be at least twice as expensive as the main dealer. No, thanks.”

    Customer Services: “Oh, okay then.” *suddenly sour* “Can you put it back where you got it from, then?”

    (Speechless, I turned and left.)

    Shaved From Embarrassment

    | The Netherlands | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (It has been a very long day and my brain has switched to auto-pilot, going through the routine automatically. I am working the cash registry and we keep perfumes, after-shaves, and smokes behind the registry.)

    Customer: “Do you have [Brand]?”

    Me: *turns around and starts looking through the shelves of eau de cologne and after-shaves* “Yes, sir. We have the scent and the after-shave. Which one do you want?”

    Customer: *snickering* “Does it look like I’d need the after-shave?”

    (I turn around, and stare at his face with a full beard. He is still laughing and I’m trying to save face.)

    Me: “Uhm… maybe for somewhere else?”

    (The customer bursts out in laughter while I realise what I said and start to die of embarrassment.)

    Customer: “I do shave there, miss, but I wouldn’t want to use after-shave on that!”

    A Reduced Experience

    | Cambridgeshire, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m working at a newly opened shop with a manager who has no managing experience. The type of business is new even for the owners, so a lot of what we’re doing is trial and error to see what works. I go in for my shift one day and chat with my supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “So, you know we had all that bacon that was going out of date soon? One of the owners said because there was so much we should reduce it early, as we won’t sell it all on the last day.”

    Me: “Sounds sensible.”

    Supervisor: “Yeah, I thought so, so I did, but the next day the manager came in and had a right go at me for reducing items before the sell by date! Even after I told him it was [Owner]’s idea!”

    (Fast forward two weeks, I’ve just come in to cover someone else’s shift, working with the same supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “You remember the bacon incident from a couple weeks ago? Well, [Manager]’s just had a go at me again. You’ll never guess what for?!”

    Me: “I have a few ideas, but go on.”

    Supervisor: “Last night when we were recording all the wastage and throwing it out, apparently we threw out items that were still in date.”

    Me: “But you only threw out reduced items?

    Supervisor: “Exactly. Apparently [Manager] has decided we need to start reducing things before their dates when we have lots of them so we throw less away, but he never bothered to tell me, and now it’s my fault!”

    Me: “So, essentially he expects you to know that he’s started doing something that he said we would never do and actually told you off for doing two weeks ago?”

    Supervisor: “Yep! Fun isn’t it?”

    (Believe it or not, the owners think this is acceptable behaviour from our manager. Unsurprisingly most of us are looking for new jobs just to get away from him.)

    Requires A Wii Bit Of An Explanation

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m about to go get dinner with a coworker. Since I’ll be going home after, I have my backpack with me. I have a Wii packed in it, after forgetting it at a friend’s house. As we’re walking out, I realize I forgot something.)

    Me: “Oh, s***! [Coworker], hold my Wii!” *runs off*

    Coworker: “Hold your WHAT?!”

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