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    Arriving In The Hour Of Need

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Time

    (I get to work on time and head to my assigned register when I notice that the owner is working the register instead of my coworker.)

    Me: “Good morning. [Coworker] out sick today?

    Owner: “No, I had you scheduled for opening.”

    Me: “Did you? I was 99% sure the schedule said nine am, not eight am.”

    (The owner double-checks the schedule and sure enough, I was scheduled in at nine am. instead of eight am. although he needed me at eight am. The following week, I see I’m scheduled at nine am again, but upon closer inspection I notice no one is scheduled to open.)

    Me: “Hey, Boss, does nine am secretly mean eight am again?”

    Owner: “…Yes.”

    Safe In No Knowledge

    | Czech Republic | Crazy Requests, Employees

    (I am in the rummage sale joint, which sells anything from artwork to farming equipment. The staff has next to no training, which is usually no problem and it´s fun to shop there. I spot a small safe for a really low price. Having two teenage nephews and owning a gun, I see it as opportunity to make my family safer from accident. I grab the safe and take it to the counter.)

    Me: “I´d like this!”

    Teller: “Okay. I should probably tell you, though, that we do not have the combination to open it.”

    Me: “Uh… how come?”

    Teller: “We kinda lost it. The safe was here over a year.”

    Me: “Maybe the shop owner has the combination?”

    Teller: “Maybe, but he has expressly forbidden us to ever call him.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t take it, then. Sorry.”

    Teller: *thinking for a while* “Wait, you can pry it open yourself!”

    Me: “Uh, that´s not the use I had in mind for it…”

    Not Exactly Dying To Work Here

    | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Family & Kids

    (I have worked in retail management for many years, and have taken a lot of crap from higher managers. I receive a phone call early in the morning that my grandmother is not going to make it through the night due to her ongoing illness. Frantic, I call my assistant manager to see if she can cover my shift, because I need to be with my family. About five minutes later, I get a phone call from my boss.)

    Boss: *angrily* “I want to hear in your own words why you think it’s okay that you call off for your shift today.”

    Me: *explaining the situation between tears*

    Boss: “I cannot believe that you feel it’s okay to call off for your shift. You called off a day last week as well.”

    Me: *still through tears, but remaining calm* “First off, last week was because I was sick, and I still came to work the next day even though I was still sick.”

    Boss: “When my father died, do you know where I was? At work where I was needed, and do you know where [Other Associate that worked at my store] was when her mother died? At work where she was needed.”

    Me: “And right now where I am needed is with my family. I am sorry you felt that your place was at work instead of being with your family. I, on the other hand, wish to be with my family during this time.”

    Boss: “Get your a** to work right now! This is retail and you know what you signed up for!”

    (I start to laugh, more so because of how cold-hearted she is being.)

    Me: “Well, if that’s the case, I will be turning in my keys. Thank you for the opportunity to work for the company, but perhaps I am not the right fit for you or the company.”

    Boss: “Now wait a moment. Let’s think on this. I’ll give you the day off, but you had better be at work tomorrow.”

    (I hung up the phone, and needless to say, left that company, and am now with a much better company that actually cares about their employees.)

    We Have A Sale Of Excess Gas

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am visiting my sister at her department store. Like many other big department stores they do the occasional sale announcements to encourage people to buy up their excess inventory. Today my sister is doing it along with one of the other managers.)

    Sister: *over the intercom* “Attention shoppers, we have a new sale—” *only instead of the word ‘sale’ a large belch comes out*

    (There is a pause while she looks like a deer caught in the headlights and slowly puts the phone back down.)

    Other Manager: “Could I get a recording of that? I kinda want that as my ring tone.”

    Engaging In A Distraction

    , | Terre Haute, IN, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Love/Romance

    (My fiancé and I are doing some shopping for our upcoming wedding. We’re a gay couple. With us are two of our friends; one is acting as our wedding planner, he’s gay as well, and the other is the Maid of Honor. The following happens as we’re buying the fabric for the ‘groom’s maid’ dresses.)

    Employee: “So what’s the occasion?”

    Fiancé: “A wedding.”

    Employee: *visibly excited, looking to the Maid of Honor* “Congratulations! When’s the date?”

    Fiancé: “August.”

    (The wedding planner gets distracted by something in the distance and wanders off. A moment later:)

    Wedding Planner: “Ooh! [Maid of Honor], come look at this!”

    (She goes off to see what he found.)

    Employee: *to my fiancé and me* “That must be why they brought the two of you along for their wedding shopping, since they’re so easily distracted.”

    (We didn’t bother correcting her. Our friends were excited to hear the news about their engagement.)

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