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  • Sadly The Whine Will Dine

    | West Midlands, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Theme Of The Month

    (The supermarket is unusually busy, with long queues at the tills. I only have a dozen items in my basket, and walk up to the shortest queue.)

    Cashier: *looking up at me* “Sorry, I’m closing this lane after this lady.”

    Me: “Oh, fine.”

    (I move to the next queue along. Another customer with a trolley full joins the short line.)

    Cashier: “Sorry, I’m closing this lane after this lady.”

    Customer: *whining, sighing, making a childish fuss* “Oh, but, oh please… I just … oh… please…”

    Cashier: “Okay. Go on, then…”

    (I hate it when whiners and complainers get special treatment. It’s a kick in the pants for polite, respectful customers!)

    Misconceiving The Point, Part 3

    | Lake Louise, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body, Language & Words

    (A customer is buying a pregnancy test, which is very expensive at our store.)

    Customer: “This is so expensive, but better safe than sorry!”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry about how expensive it is. But next time try the store across the road.”

    Customer: “The next time?” *eyebrows raised*

    Me: “Oh, my god. I am so sorry. That’s not what I meant!”

    (Luckily she had a sense of humour!)

    Related:
    Misconceiving The Point, Part 2
    Misconceiving The Point

    Good Management Has Logged Out

    | East Sussex, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

    (I’ve just transferred to a supermarket from a convenience-format branch of the same company. Whilst about 80% of the procedures are the same, there are a number of key differences in how I’ve been trained due to the difference in shop-floor and warehouse size across formats. I’m busy stacking shelves when my new manager approaches.)

    Manager: “[My Name], do you know how to do waste scans?”

    Me: “Yep, but I’ve not done it here yet. Could you give me the store login?”

    Manager: “Oh! We have individual logins here.”

    Me: “Okay. So, could you set me up with the privileges to do that?”

    Manager: “Um, no. I’m a bit busy right now. Tell you what, you do the wastage and then come find me to help you afterward.”

    Me: “How am I do to the waste scan without a login?”

    Manager: “Erm… Find somebody else and borrow their card. Tell them I sent you.”

    (I go and do this, I’ve just finished scanning waste and I’m getting on to reducing the damaged goods that are salvageable when my manager approaches me again.)

    Manager: “[My name]! Stop! What are you doing?!”

    Me: “Well, I finished the wastage. I’m on reductions now.”

    Manager: “How did you log in?!”

    Me: “With [Colleague]’s card, like you suggested.”

    Manager: “I can’t believe you’d borrow somebody else’s card! That is not allowed!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Attractive In Many Ways

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Coworkers

    (At our deli we serve customers on a “whoever is closest and available” basis. An attractive man has just walked up to exactly where I’m filling. I’ve just finished taking off my chicken-soaked gloves and have opened my mouth to greet him when my female coworker appears next to me with a wide smile, seemingly out of nowhere.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Shoo.”

    (The customer just chuckles and rolls his eyes at me.)

    Need To Keep Your Mouth Shut Too

    | UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body

    (I’m 15. My mum has just had another baby and I’m buying some more nappies (diapers) because we’ve run out.)

    Cashier: “You know these are for babies, love?”

    Me: “Yes, I know.”

    Cashier: “How old are you?”

    Me: “15.”

    Cashier: “Have you told your mum, love? When are you due?”

    Me: “These are for my mum… for my sister.”

    Cashier: “Teenagers these days need to keep their legs shut!”

    Me: “I’m not a bloody mum!”

    Cashier: “No need for that abuse now, dear. How is your schoolwork doing? How are you coping with the baby?”

    Me: “If you need to know, I’m a straight-A student, planning to applying to both Oxford and Yale.”

    Cashier: “And leaving your baby at home? Keep your legs shut, child!”

    Me: “You know what? I think I’ll just pop to [Competitor] for these instead, so that my Mum can change my sister.”

    Cashier: *as I walk away* “You need to keep your legs shut, girl!”


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