(“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” has just been released on DVD. I go to the register not only with The Hobbit DVD but two other DVDs, groceries and snacks.)

Clerk: *scans Hobbit DVD* “A good choice.”

Me:  ”Of course. This one is a must.”

(The clerk finishes ringing up the items.)

Clerk: “Your total is [total], but everyone who buys The Hobbit gets a special discount from me.”

(The clerk pulls out the staff discount card and rings it up. I get discounted for all my purchases as if I worked there.)

Clerk: “No one will make any comments about me giving some discount anyway!”

(This discount turned out to be 10%-15% of the total purchase. Go Ringers!)

(I am 26 but look younger so I often get asked for I.D. when buying alcohol. I place a packet of ravioli, a jar of sauce and a bottle of Shiraz on the counter.)

Cashier: “Can I see your I.D. please?”

Me: “Ah, I think I’ve forgotten it today. I’ll just pay for the pasta and sauce then. Do you want me to put the wine back on the shelf?”

Cashier: “I’m afraid you look under 21 and without your I.D., I can’t sell you any alcohol.”

Me: “Oh, I know; that’s okay. Just the pasta and sauce, then.”

Cashier: “I’m afraid I am going to have to refuse to sell you the alcohol. It would be a felony and I would be fired or worse.”

Me: “I understand that completely; of course I don’t want you to get in trouble. Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t need to buy the wine now, so I’ll just pay for the pasta and sauce.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 26, but I have nothing on me that proves it and as I said, I’m not trying to get you in trouble.”

Cashier: *rolls her eyes* “If you wish, I can call my manager.”

Me: “Well, if you think it’s best, but it’s really not a big deal. I don’t need to buy the wine.”

Cashier: *calls a manager*

Manager: “What seems to be the situation?”

Cashier: “This lady is trying to buy alcohol but has no ID. She insisted on speaking to you.”

Me: “Hang on—”

Manager: “Miss, I’m afraid it’s store policy to refuse sale of alcohol to anyone who looks under 21 and has no I.D.”

Me: “I understand that completely! It’s no problem; I’ll just leave the wine and pay for the pasta and sauce!”

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to not get belligerent. You have no I.D. and you appear under 21 and to sell you alcohol would be a felony.”

(As he says this, I can see him catch the eye of a security guard.)

Me: “Oh, for God’s sake! Just listen: I am putting the wine aside; all I want to do is buy the ravioli and the sauce! Can I please just pay for them and be on my way? And never come back, might I add!”

Manager: “I apologise for the inconvenience but, as I have stated, it is a felony.”

Me: “Forget it. I’ll get a take-away!”

(Very occasionally, our small express-format store gets delivered items that we don’t stock.)

Me: “Hey [manager], we got a whole half cage of morning goods (bread, cookies, etc.) and we don’t sell any of these lines.”

Manager: “Leave it to me; I’ll deal with it.”

Me: *leaves it, clocks out*

(I come back in the next day, and…)

Me: “Hey [same manager], you know these things don’t have a long date code, yeah? Do you want me to display them on the shelves?”

Manager: “Nah, that’ll only make the system order more.”

Me: “What if you reduce them on yellow labels, then they don’t affect the sales-based ordering system because they are reduced, right?”

Manager: “Yes, thats’s right, but it affects our wastage figures. Leave it with me; I’ll deal with it.”

(Fast forward a week: I’ve nagged the manager on every shift I worked, By now, the formerly fresh products are now out of date, so I am moving them to the waste cart.)

Manager: “Hey! Stop! What are you doing?”

Me: “These are out of date now, so we can’t reduce them or sell them.”

Manager: “But that will affect our waste figures. You could have told me they were going out of date!”

Me: “Seriously?”

(Just after 10 pm, the supermarket I work at has closed and I am cashing up my till. As I am doing so, I am chatting to the Store Manager about overseas holidays.)

Me: “…and I enjoyed being in Paris since I studied French at school.”

Store Manager: “Why did you bother learning it? Isn’t there an app for that?”

(Around the holidays, I like to pick up a bottle of sparkling grape juice since I am not of legal drinking age yet.)

Me: “Just these, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, I’m going to need to see your ID for the wine.”

Me: “Wine? That’s not wine. It’s grape juice.”

Cashier: “It’s clearly in a wine bottle. Are you going to show me your ID or not?”

Me: “It’s grape juice. Read the label.”

Cashier: “I think I’ll just hold onto this for you until you can produce your ID for me.”

(The cashier puts the juice behind her register where I can’t reach it.)

Me: “Yeah, you might want to call your manager now.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Cashier: “This girl is trying to buy wine and won’t show me her ID.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am; in order to process all alcohol sales, we need to see a valid ID.”

Me: “I understand that just fine but that is not a bottle of wine. It’s a bottle of sparkling grape juice. There is not a drop of alcohol in it. It’s just carbonated grape juice.”

(The manager picks up the bottle and reads it over, quickly realizing I’m right.)

Manager: “Right… uh, go ahead and ring it through.”

Cashier: “But it’s in a wine bottle!”

Manager: “Just scan it.”

(The cashier reluctantly scans it and gasps when her register does not ask her to enter a birth date.)

Cashier: “It worked!”

Me: “I told you.”

(When I went back the next week to get another bottle, the same thing happened!)