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    The Right Left

    , | Chandler, AZ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (This occurs over the inter-office chat with my supervisor:)

    Supervisor: “Hey, [My Name], when you’re done with your call, or if you’re done, please AUX out to meeting and see me in the office next to [Manager]’s.”

    Me: “Will do.”

    Supervisor: “Thanks.”

    Me: “Left or right of office?”

    Supervisor: “Left.”

    Me: “Military left or blonde left?”

    Supervisor: “Technically right if you’re walking towards his office, lol.”

    Me: “So, blonde left, then.”

    Supervisor: “Basically.”

    Hit Delete And Start Again

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The keyboard on my tablet has stopped working. I’ve been on the phone with tech support, troubleshooting, for about half an hour. They agree that it’s a mechanical problem and transfer me to that department since it is still under warranty.)

    Tech Support: “So, if you can confirm your shipping address, we can send you a new keyboard right away.”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t need a new keyboard. It’s a tablet. A laptop.”

    Tech Support: “Well, the keyboard is what’s broken, so we’re going to ship you a new keyboard.”

    Me: “I’m not sure you understand. It’s a tablet. I need a new unit entirely.”

    Tech Support: *long pause* “My system shows that there are no replacement keyboards for your model.”

    Me: “…Sounds about right.”

    Call The Helpless Desk

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (I receive a request from a user for a task I’ve never seen before.)

    User: “Dear Help Desk, Please [perform X task]. If you are unsure how to do this, follow the instructions at this webpage.”

    (Not sure what I’m being asked to do, I follow the enclosed link…)

    Instruction: “In order to [perform X task], take the following steps. Step 1: Send an email to the help desk requesting them to [perform X task].”

    (That was all it said!)

    You Have Failed For The Last Time

    | Italy | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (We are a team of about 40 people. We have four supervisors, one of which is very nasty to us and the occasional customer who asks for escalation to managers. I have music on in my unit room. The playlist moves to the Star Wars Imperial march.)

    Coworker #1: “You’re so tempting fate.”

    (As if on cue, the nasty supervisor enters the room.)

    Supervisor: “[Coworker #2], next time you escalate such a dumb b**** to me, I’m going to strangle you!”

    (The supervisor made a pretend strangle motion and exited, oblivious to the background music. We all cracked up, and nicknamed her Darth henceforth.)

    This Is My Last Report

    | Lake Forest, IL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am talking to our school’s new IT helpline that is handled by people in New York.)

    Me: “Emails from my address are not reaching outside the school. I can receive them but mine are not reaching them. I can send and receive emails from the school just fine.”

    Tech Support: “There is nothing wrong with network or server.”

    Me: “And you know this how?”

    Tech Support: “There have been no reports of trouble.”

    Me: “So the first report doesn’t count?”

    Tech Support: “There have BEEN no reports.”

    Me: “What about mine?”

    Tech Support:  “Huh?”

    Me: “I’m making a report of trouble?”

    Tech Support: “What’s the problem you’re having?”

    Me: “…”


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