(A friend of mine is visiting from the UK, so I take him on a road tour of the American West. While in South Dakota, we decided to visit the reptile zoo, as he is very interested in snakes and lizards. I am not very comfortable around snakes, and doing my best to put on a brave face. We’re “in the dome,” the central part of the snake building, where visitors can walk through a habitat for non-dangerous snakes. I walk up to an interpretive guide near a boa constrictor sign.)

Me: “How’s it going today?”

Guide: “Good.”

Me: *looking around* “Soooo, where’s the boa?”

(The guide says nothing, but she smiles and points over my shoulder. I look up and see the snake hanging off a branch only three inches from my ear.)

Me: “AAAHHH!!!”

Guide: *snickers*

Me: “You love to do that, don’t you?”

Guide: *nods*