(I work in the kitchen of a high-end restaurant that mostly employs college students as waitstaff.)

Waitress: “This salsa is really salty!”

(I look up to see her eating a green substance with chips.)

Me: “DON’T EAT THAT! It could make you very sick!”

Waitress: “Salty salsa won’t make you sick.”

Me: “Probably not, but that’s not salsa. That’s pesto that’s had chicken marinating in it for the past week.”

Waitress: “EW! How was I supposed to know not to eat it?”

Me: “Several clues: it was sitting in the garbage next to all the dirty dishes, it smells like death, and it has chicken blood and fat floating in it.”

(She wound up calling in sick the next three shifts.)

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Another Darwin Awards Candidate (Not Always Right)