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  • You’ve Got To Be Key-dding Me

    | Melbourne, Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I am a customer at a hardware store. They sell padlocks to which all the utility companies have skeleton keys, for locking up your switchboard. They’re very expensive and super-strong. I’m calling the store after being unable to unlock mine.)

    Me: “I bought a power utility-compliant padlock for my meter box last week, and now it won’t open.”

    Employee: “Are you using the key?”

    Me: “I tried both keys that came with the lock.”

    Employee: “Did they work?”

    Me: “No, that’s why I’m calling.”

    Employee: “Well, if you bring it back, we’ll replace it.”

    Me: “That might be difficult.”

    Employee: “Why?”

    Me: “…”