Abstinence Is The Best Gay

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(I am seeing my doctor for a yearly physical. Since the last time I’ve seen her, I have come out of the closet and started dating another woman.)

Doctor: “Are you dating anyone right now?”

Me: “Yes.”

Doctor: “Are you sexually active?”

Me: “Yes.”

Doctor: “What kind of birth control are you using? The Pill? Condoms?”

Me: “…Lesbianism?”

Doctor: “Oh, well that works too.”

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