Category: Pets & Animals

Blind To Reason

| Australia | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am with my friend, who is an Assistance Dog trainer. She trains Seeing Eye Dogs, but also Autism Assistance Dogs. On this occasion she has one of her dogs with her, fully kitted out in its harness and vest – clearly a working dog. We enter a restaurant.)

Waitress: “Oh, no. No, no. No dogs. You cannot bring a dog in here.”

Friend: “This is a service dog. It is permitted.”

Waitress: “No way. You’re clearly not blind.”

(Our mouths both dropped as it is utterly illegal to turn away someone with an Assistance Dog in our state, even if it is only in training. We stared in silence until she begrudgingly let us in. Not all Assistance Dogs are for blind people, but ALL Assistance Dogs are permitted in restaurants!)

Snaking Their Way Towards Extinction

| China | Pets & Animals, Tourists & Travel

(I go to China and have a conversation with the tour guide:)

Dad: “So what should we do if we see any venomous snakes around?”

Guide: “If you see a dangerous snake, for God’s sake try and trap it!”

Dad: “Wait, why?!”

Guide: “You don’t understand. They eat the snakes here. I’m pretty sure we’ve eaten them all. If there’s any venomous snakes left, they’ll be worth a fortune!”

They’re Barking Mad

| USA | Job Seekers, Pets & Animals

(I see an ad that says, ‘Pet Daycare hiring: No experience necessary.’ I’ve pet sat before, so I apply. A few days later, I get called for an interview and so I go. Everything is going fine until…)

Interviewer: “So you say that you pet sat before. How many dogs can you handle?”

Me: “At the same time?” *she nods* “14!”

(I’m expecting that she would be pleased, since every time that I had mentioned this to anyone, they were in awe. But she looks dismayed.)

Interviewer: “We handle 45.”

Me: *shocked* “45 dogs? At one time?”

Interviewer: “Yes. You must clean up after 45, you must walk 45, and you must do it all on your own. Large dogs. Can you handle that?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “I, uh… um… I’m not sure. I guess?”

(Right then, I was thinking of a way to politely end the interview. Thankfully, the interviewer did it shortly after. I almost told them they ought to take off the ‘no experience necessary’ part of their ad but decided not to.)

Needs Some Cuddle Context

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Pets & Animals

(We’re slow so I’m standing in the dining room chatting to the waitress. She only has one table who’s been pretty cool most of their stay, joking with us whenever they have something to input. I’m currently showing my coworker pictures of my cat, which I’m known to do often. As I’m showing her the last one, the guy from the table waves as though he wants something.)

Coworker: *as she’s walking towards their table* “You always take pictures of her on your bed.”

Me: “But that’s where we always cuddle.”

Coworker: *looking at the table, I can’t see the girl’s face as she’s facing away from me, but she must have been making a horrified face* “We’re talking about her cat.”

Girl: “Oh…”

Guy: *laughing out loud* “Your face was priceless!”

Throw Me A Bone Here

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am 12, coming back from visiting my aunt by myself. I am flying from Chicago to San Diego on a direct flight. I am running late, so I have to rush through security. I own a husky; she loves bones and rope toys. Naturally, I bought her a bone and a rope toy to bring back. I put them both in my carry on, to save room in my checked bag. My bag gets pulled aside regarding a suspicious matter. He goes through it and pulls out the rawhide bone, still wrapped with a dog on the front label.)

Security: “We don’t allow food through security.”

Me: *calmly* “It’s a wrapped dog bone. Not opened. Nor is it human food.”

Security: “Oh, sorry, I thought you were going to eat it.”

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