Category: Bad Behavior


Their Behavior Has Come To Light

| NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, New Hires

(A local pizza shop makes amazing food; however, their default “doneness” is several shades darker than I like, so I usually ask them to cook it lighter. This has never been a problem until the current order.)

Me: “I’d like a calzone, one medium with extra cheese, and one medium with pepperoni. And could we get those cooked light?”

Cashier: “Uh, no?”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Cashier: “We don’t do ‘diet’ pizza.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, no! I just meant we don’t normally like the crusts as dark as you guys usually cook them, so I was just asking you to cook them less.”

Cashier: “Well, how are we supposed to do that, then, smart guy?”

Me: “By… cooking them less? Putting them in the oven for thirteen minutes instead of fifteen, or whatever the normal time is?”

Cashier: “We cook them the way we cook them. Twenty minutes.”

(At this point he hangs up on me. Knowing they only ever have one person working the phones at a time I get dressed and drive as fast as I can down to the place, making it in 10. I bypass the front of the counter completely, and see the owner is working there, who I normally talk with.)

Me: “Hey, [Owner].”

Owner: “Hey-hey, [My Name]. What can I getcha?”

Me: “I just ordered [repeats order]. Did those ask to get put in light?”

Owner: “Oh, nah, but we just put ’em in. Those are for you? I thought you always got it light?”

Me: “Yeah, your new cashier just told me ‘We cook them the way we cook them’ and hung up on me.”

Owner: “[CASHIER]!”

(The switch between happy and yelling made me jump back about a foot! Turned out that I was the third customer with a special order – something the store prided themselves on fulfilling – that the cashier had told they wouldn’t fulfill without checking with the boss that day. It was her first day, and apparently her last because I saw her walking out with her purse before I got my food!)


Colorfully Obscene

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Coworkers

(I and some of my coworkers are having a chat, when someone mentions a famous gay celebrity.)

Coworker #1: “Don’t mention that [homophobic slur] in my presence! It’s better to talk about [Black Celebrity].”

Coworker #2: “Don’t mention that [racial slur] in my presence!”

(A new coworker looks shocked, so I explain.)

Me: “[Coworker #1] is black, [Coworker #2] is openly gay, and both have the same bad sense of humor.”


Making A Lot Of Noise About You Leaving

| Olympia, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Pranks

(I recently left a small computer shop I was working at to work for myself. On the last day of work, I gave my manager a gift, a small electronic noise maker that can be set to various volumes, timers, and sounds. About a month after my departure, my coworker sends me a message.)

Coworker: “You b****! [Manager] just came clean with that stupid noise maker!”

Me: “Whoops. I’m surprised it took this long. I thought you would have put it together that on my last day there you were hearing noises.”

Coworker: “I might have, except it kept going, and he moved it around and had it set to go off randomly, even when he wasn’t here!”

Me: “I am very sorry, and I will never do it again.”

Coworker: “He had so much fun with that.”

Me: “Are you at work today?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Can you give [Manager] a high-five for me?”

Coworker: “…”