Category: Bad Behavior

Getting Volun-told Off

| Singapore | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

(My boss is trying to get people to volunteer for a project. No one is very keen.)

Boss: “So? Would anyone like to do this? Any volunteers?”

Employees: *awkward silence*

Boss: “All right, [Name #1] and [Name #2]. Nobody volun-teered, so now I have to volun-tell people to do things.”

A Conversation Stopper

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular, Rude & Risque, Trending

(I work with a lot of young students aged 16-18. One shift I receive a few complaints from customers with young children, complaining that they and their children can hear my colleagues’ inappropriate conversations about their weekend partying — including stories about sex and drugs. I call a meeting with my colleagues to talk to them about this.)

Me: “Now, you know I don’t have a problem with you guys talking a bit on shift so long as you keep working. But you shouldn’t have personal conversations within earshot of customers.”

Colleague #1: “Why not? If we’re allowed to talk then we’re gonna talk!”

Me: “Like I said, I have no problem with you talking while you work. I know you’re friends outside of work. It’s WHAT you’re talking about that’s the issue.”

Colleague #2: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, we’ve had some complaints about your conversations. Parents have complained that they can hear you talking about sex and drugs and how ‘wasted’ and ‘f***ed up’ you were. That’s not an appropriate conversation to have at work — especially in a family restaurant!”

Colleague #1: “Well, it’s their fault!”

Me: “What?”

Colleague #1: “Why are they listening to our private conversations?! They should mind their own business!”

Colleague #2: “Yeah! It’s rude! It’s illegal, innit?”

Me: “You are loudly talking, and swearing, about having sex and doing drugs, whilst serving our customers and their small children. That’s completely unacceptable!”

Colleague #1: “Well, they shouldn’t be listening to our conversations!”

Me: “…Wow.”

Put Them In High Spirits

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular, Trending

(I am an overnight clerk at a convenience store. A woman comes in late, buying alcohol, and I can’t tell her age.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

(The woman gets flustered, shows her ID, and leaves with her alcohol, still visibly flustered. About an hour later a man pulls up to the market looking angry. He comes in and stands over me.)

Menacing Guy: “You the guy that asked my woman for ID?”

Me: *gulp* “Uh, yeah. You see the… law says… and I’m new…”

(The menacing guy breaks out in a huge smile and sticks out his hand.)

Menacing Guy: “Thanks, man. You made my wife’s night!”

(The guy left happy, and after that I made sure to ask every woman for ID.)

It’s Very Telling How I Am Not Telling

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees

Caller: “I’m looking to speak to [Director], please.”

Me: “He isn’t available right now.”

(Silence.)

Me: “Can I take a message or get him to call you?”

Caller: “That’s fine I just need to know who to speak to regarding recruitment advertising.”

Me: *rolling eyes – we get about five of these types of calls a day* “We don’t advertise for recruitment. We have suppliers.”

Caller: *agitated* “I just need to know who those suppliers are.”

Me: “We don’t have to provide that information.”

Caller: *very agitated* “I didn’t say you had to tell me!”

Me: “Goodbye.” *click*

The Apex Of Asex Ignorance

| Batavia, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Love/Romance

(I and my fellow female coworker are working a Tuesday night together as hosts. I’m wearing my glasses and no makeup that night.)

Coworker: “Take off your glasses!”

(I oblige.)

Coworker: “You have such pretty eyes! Why don’t you wear contacts? Maybe you could get a boyfriend!”

(She runs off to do something and returns a moment later, having noticed my startled expression.)

Coworker: “…or maybe a girlfriend?”

Me: “Oh! Uh, no. If I ever dated it would be a boy, but I’m actually what’s called asexual, which basically means I don’t find anyone sexy.”

Coworker: *jaw drops* “You don’t find anyone sexy? Like ever?”

Me: “Well, maybe Captain America.”

Coworker: “But how would you have sex?”

Me: “Um, well, there’s other ways to get to that point. Besides, you know I’m a church girl, so I only plan to have sex with my husband anyway.”

(For the rest of the night she continues to prod me, asking kind of invasive questions about my purity pledge and under what circumstances I would have sex, and telling me that she wants to take me out and get me drunk so I can lose my V-Card. I put up with it, thinking she’ll get it out of her system. Unfortunately, it continues two nights later, when I actually am dressed up a little nicer in honor of a favorite movie’s anniversary.)

Coworker: “Oh, you look nice tonight! Is it for the bartender?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Coworker: “You have to admit he’s attractive.”

Me: “Yes, he’s cute. Sure! I’ll admit that. I know when people are handsome.”

Coworker: “But not the ‘s’ word?”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “Sexy? Still have problems with that word?”

(I roll my eyes and keep working. Later a large family comes in to celebrate their son’s 18th birthday, as they were not allowed into the local casino because he does not have a driver’s license.)

Coworker: “Oh, hey, I wanted to get your number.”

Me: “Oh, sure!”

(I give my number, thinking she wants it for shift changes and stuff. Then I read what she’s written beneath the number.)

Me: “…Happy Birthday?”

Coworker: “I can’t believe you fell for that! I’m giving it to that cutie at table 64.”

Me: “What? Oh, come on! You know he’s 18 and doesn’t have his driver’s license, right?”

Coworker: *pauses* “Well, you’re 21 and still a virgin, so I guess everyone has their own story!”

(For some reason I guess she just took my decision not to have sex really personally!)