Category: Bizarre/Silly

Prisoned In Pink

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

(While visiting out of state, I see a police officer carrying a set of pink handcuffs. When I join my local police explorer group I bring my own set for the fun of it. The cuff holders on my belt for the most part obscure the cuffs from full view. This happens when I go on a couple of different ride-alongs.)

Officer #1: “You’ve got pink handcuffs? Keep those out of sight.”

Officer #2: “Pink handcuffs? Nice! If we arrest anyone tonight we’re using those!”

When X-Ray Becomes Ultrasound

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Technology, Tourists & Travel

(I am on holiday in Vegas and going through final security with my bags when this bizarre incident happens. I am watching airport security as they start to look very concerned with my baggage and giving me very strange looks.)

Security Guard: “Excuse me, sir, can you come over here, please?”

Me: “Sure, is there something wrong?”

Security Guard: “You have a foetus in your bag.”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard him* “Sorry, I have a what in my bag?”

Security Guard: “You have a foetus in your bag… A foetus!”

Me: “No, I don’t! Have a look and see!”

Security Guard: “See! It’s there on the x-ray! Please open your bag!”

(It then dawned on me what this alleged foetus was… a big ceramic Kokopelli decoration which is a native American hunchbacked fertility symbol… I started laughing in incredulity as they looked very sheepish indeed and let me go through.)

You Can’t Lawyer A Lawyer

| Johannesburg, South Africa | Bizarre/Silly

Telemarketer: “Hello, sir! This is [Name] from [Insurance Company]. Could I have a few minutes of your time?”

Me: “Yes, what is it?”

Telemarketer: “Sir, I’m here to tell you about our legal cover…”

Me: *interrupting* “I’m not interested.”

Telemarketer: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m a lawyer.”

Temp Madness

| Buffalo, NY, USA | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

(I am a temp working on a big project. My boss is walking me through what I need to do, and the  spreadsheet isn’t populating correctly, so he’s mumbling under his breath as well. I am sitting next to him, but behind the cubicle wall, not visible.)

Coworker: “Are you talking to yourself, [Boss]?

Boss: “No, I am talking to my temp.”

Coworker: “Does your temp have a name?”

Boss: “No, we don’t use names so we don’t get attached.”

But You Expressly Said So

| Millbrae, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I finish putting all my stuff on the conveyor belt at the express lane and the lady behind me starts putting her stuff behind me.)

Cashier: “Please make sure you have 15 or less items because this is the express lane.”

(We both start counting to make sure we have less than 15 items. Then the cashier adds:)

Cashier: “I don’t really care if you have more than 15 items but it’s the other customers; they’re the ones that complain.”

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