Category: Bizarre/Silly

That Manager Is A Good Egg

| CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

(About a dozen of us are in a meeting, video conferencing in from multiple locations, to check in on status of projects. The manager in charge of the meeting opens the conversation a little differently to usual.)

Manager: “Are raw eggs bad for dogs?”

(We all pause, and then start laughing.)

Coworker: “Only if they have salmonella. Otherwise, I think it’s fine.”

Manager: “I left an egg on the counter, and the dog ate it, shell and all!”

(More laughter from everyone. Finally we got the meeting started.)

Your Crystal Is Talking Balls

| France | Bizarre/Silly

Telemarketer: “Hello, Ms. [My Name]?”

Me: “It’s me.”

Telemarketer: “Hello, I work for the great psychic and numerologist Madam [Name]. Your profile was chosen because of its deep numerological meaning. The numbers say you have a generous heart and you’re going to get some good news about work and love. However, there’s a jealous woman who wants to harm you. If you want to know more about your future, you just need to pay seven euros for five minutes.”

Me: *deadpan* “That’s nice of you, sir, but you’re too late. The jealous woman killed me yesterday and buried me in the garden. I’m a ghost and I can hardly answer the phone so the best thing you can do is phoning a living person. Have a great day!”

(I could actually hear him laugh on the phone!)

Very Bad Reception… Probably

| IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

(I’m the receptionist for a tattoo shop. My boss calls me into his office.)

Boss: “Can you check for a name and email address in our system to see who they worked with?”

(I check.)

Me: “The name came back with nothing, meaning they have never been a client.

Boss: “Hmm. I received an email. The subject line read, ‘Your receptionist’ and the body of the email was, ‘is a c***.’ I replied to the email asking who it was he spoke to, as there are two receptionists, and asked for the details of the conversation so I may reprimand accordingly. I never received a response. I’m not really sure what this is about, so just…”

Me: “Don’t be c***?”

Boss: “Yeah. Don’t be a c***.”

Only Swear By The Good Staff

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

(I’m known for being a goody-two-shoes and relatively quiet. However, I like to joke around.)

Me: *imitating customer* “B****, you didn’t make my Iced Capp icy enough!”

Shift Supervisor: “Did you just swear?! I can’t believe it! That was like hearing baby Jesus swear!”

Turns All Sales To Stone

| HI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

(I work in the fine jewelry section of a large, well-known department store. This conversation happens with a young, laid-back manager.)

Me: “[Manager], come see this.”

Manager: “What?”

Me: “Did you know we have a Medusa pendant in the men’s jewelry?”

Manager: “What, really? Yikes.”

Me: “I know, right? Who the hell designed this, and why do we have it?”

Manager: “I have no idea. You sure this is men’s?”

Me: “Does it make any more sense if it was made for women? But yeah, check the size of the pendant and the thickness of the chain you’d need; it’s men’s. It’s also [several hundred dollars] at full price.”

Manager: “Wow.”

Me: “Because what a guy really needs in his life is Medusa’s severed head hanging from his neck.”

Manager: “…I’ll give you 25 dollars of [Store credit] if you sell this thing.”

Me: “DONE.”

(Hey, guys, what you really need in your life is Medusa’s severed head hanging from your neck, and I would be happy to take care of that for you!)

Page 1/9112345...Last