Category: Bizarre/Silly

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By My Reading You’re Up For The Count

| Wichita, KS, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(My coworkers and I are occasionally given extra projects to do when things are slow. Sometimes we work separately; other times we work together in a sort of assembly line. The manager leaves it up to us how we get things done, just so long as it’s done correctly and on time. One week, we’re given one that requires a lot of both reading and counting; everyone gets to work on their stacks, and we all talk while we work. I’ve never enjoyed math, and one of my coworkers doesn’t like reading, so we often crack jokes about how bad each of us are at those respective tasks.)

Coworker: *because she’s taking longer on the reading parts* “I don’t like this! I can’t read!”

Me: “Well, I can’t count! Hey, [Coworker], if we worked together on this, we’d be an entire functional employee!”

(I was only joking about working together, but we realized it would actually go quicker if we did. Our manager expected the project to take us a week. We had it knocked out in two days. This sort of stuff is why I love my team so much.)

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Check And Double-Check The Check

| New Forest, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Money

(My siblings and I arrange a weekend away for our parents’ anniversary and book some rooms in a B&B run by a couple. I do most of the admin for organising the trip but I arrive last due to a delayed train, so the landlady doesn’t meet me until the next morning, when I am dressed in very casual clothes. When it is time to pay, my sister and I find the landlady. We have agreed that I will pay by cheque and my siblings will pay me back, as the B&B doesn’t accept card. Note that in addition to wearing very casual clothes, I look very young.)

Me: “Would you mind giving me the bill so we can pay?”

LandLady: “Ah, yes. How would you like to pay?”

Me: “Cheque, please.”

LandLady: “Sure.” *starts to write out bill* “And are all of you paying?”

Me: “I’m paying the full amount and then my siblings are paying me back. It’s a surprise holiday for our parents.”

LandLady: “You’re paying it all?”

Me: “Well, yes, but my siblings are paying me back.”

LandLady: “Okay…”

(She hands me the bill, which is a few hundred pounds.)

Me: “All right, great. Let me just write out the cheque.”

LandLady: “That is quite a bit of money.”

Me: “Yup.”

LandLady: “Are you sure you want to pay it upfront just yourself by cheque?”

Me: “Yep. I’m afraid I didn’t fancy carrying this amount of cash around with me and your website said I could pay by cheque.”

LandLady: “But it is quite a bit of money.”

Me: “Yes… and I have the money in my bank account; I checked before I came up here.”

LandLady: “If you’re sure… I mean, if your siblings wanted to pay some of it… You know, chip in…”

(At this point, my sister decides to step in as I’m not understanding what the landlady’s problem is.)

Sister: “She’s actually the best placed to pay upfront. She probably earns the most of the three of us; definitely a lot more than I do.”

(The landlady looks at me with some surprise.)

LandLady: “Um, what do you do?”

Me: “I’m training to be a lawyer in a corporate city law firm.”

LandLady: “Oh. Oh! You understand, don’t you, the worry we get when people write cheques, though? Since we can’t do card up here…”

Me: “Yeah, I know.”

(She was already very pleasant to us but I noticed she seemed to treat me a bit more like an adult after that.)

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Not Totally How Are You

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly

(This happened at work today, I read these sites all the time and never thought something like this would happen to me ever, but it happened today. I work retail, and we get some interesting customers.)

Me: *I’m ringing up a guy’s purchase* “Your total is [total].”

Guy: “I’m doing fine.”

Me: “Umm, what? I said your total is [total].”

Guy: “I thought you asked ‘how are you?'”

Me: ” No, but anyway how are you?”

Guy: “…”

(He never replied to that, and I told my coworker about it, and she laughed. One of the more interesting days at work.)

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You Actually TALK To Each Other?!

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Movies & TV

(A man comes to the door, selling Sky TV:)

Me: “Actually, we don’t have a TV.”

Salesman: “Seriously? You’re kidding!”

Me: “No, honestly.”

Salesman: “But… what do you arrange your furniture around?”

Me: “Well… it’s in a sort of circle round the living room…”

Salesman: “You mean… like, facing one another?”

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A Passable Reason For A Disconnect

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work for a major telecommunication company in their retention department. It is my job to retain a customer’s service and, when not possible, to set up their disconnects. A lot of our calls come in from other departments such as billing. This is one of those calls.)

Representative: “Hi, I have [Not The Account Holder] on the phone. It looks like she needs to disconnect because the account holder has decided to pass away.”

Me: “Um… transfer her through.”

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