Category: Bosses & Owners

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Someone Be The Voice Of Reason

| Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I woke up without my voice on a day off, so my mum makes my sister, who works in the same cinema as me, call into the office.)

Manager: “[Chain] at [Site]. [Manager] speaking.”

Sister: “Hi, [Manager], this is [Sister].”

Manager: “Hi, are you all right?”

Sister: “I’m fine, but [My Name] has lost her voice. She wants you to know that before her shift tomorrow.”

Manager: “Okay, well, get her to call tomorrow to let us know if that’s still the case.”

Sister: “Uh…”

Manager: “What?”

Sister: “How is she going to tell you if she’s still got no voice tomorrow?”

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Dude Or Dude Not, There Is No Try

| UT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Funny Names, Language & Words

Boss: “So, if you have any suggestions for me, dude, just let me know.”

Me: “To be honest, as a modern woman, I really am not fond of being called dude.”

Boss: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Boss: “Okay. If I call you dude, I owe you a dime.”

(Sure enough, I’m at my desk later…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude… Agh!”

(She comes over and drops a dime in my change jar. A few days later…)

Me: “I finished status checks and appeals for the day.”

Boss: “Dude, you’re killing it! Agh!”

(A dollar comes flying my way.)

Me: “Dime, not a dollar.”

Boss: “Now I’m covered for the next nine times. How much have I spent so far?”

Me: “Enough to give my friends gas money.”

(A few weeks and several dollars later…)

Me: “If you can go one week without calling me dude, I’ll put away my change jar.”

Boss: “Let’s make it interesting. If I do that, you buy me lunch twice. If I don’t, I buy you lunch twice.”

(We shake on it. She puts up a sign to say “don’t call [My Name] dude!” I put one up that asserts “be so good that [Boss] calls you dude!” The following day…)

Boss: “[My Name], dude, we have so much due today. I’m going to run the reports and send you the email.”

Me: “Sure. You lasted fifteen minutes and owe me two lunches.”

Boss: “Dude! Seriously? I hate my life.”

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Left Out Of The Leftover Explanation

| MA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids

(I had just been hired to work at a historical site as an educator and I was just starting to meet my coworkers when the following moment happened.)

Boss: “Welcome to [Historic Site]! Let me introduce you to [Young, Male Coworker].”

Me: “Hi! Great to meet you!”

(Male coworker and I greet each other and continue with our opening procedures.)

Boss: *to Young, Male Coworker* “By the way, I brought you leftovers for lunch but if you don’t want them you can just GET YOUR OWN LUNCH!”

(I am very confused; her tone fell somewhere between playful and angry. I don’t say anything but my boss noticed my confused facial expression.)

Boss: “Oh! [Young, Male Coworker] is my son!”

Me: “Oh! Everything makes sense now!”

Boss: “Yes. I’m afraid I don’t bring leftovers for all of my coworkers.”

(My boss and her son are great!)

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Could Have Survived That Better

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words, Movies & TV

(I work with a small mom and pop pharmacy for several years. Due to budget cuts it is necessary to layoff an employee. After discussing our options the owner decides to fire a technician who, though friendly, is relatively lazy. This is when Survivor first debuted.)

Boss: “So, [Coworker], you’ve been voted off the island.”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “…”

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