Category: Extra Stupid

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Doesn’t Know What You(tah) Are Talking About

| MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography

(I am moving cross country by myself with all of my belongings in a little pickup truck. Note that I’m female, in my early 20s, and look like I’m 14. After a long day of driving, I pull into the first hotel I see that looks like it is in my budget.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a room for tonight?”

Worker: “Okay, I need your ID and a credit card to put you in the system.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(I handed over my driver license and credit card. The worker stares at my ID for a moment and says:)

Worker: “Utah? Where is Utah?”

Me: “It’s a state? Further west of here?”

Worker: “I’ve never heard of Utah before.”

Me: “I promise you, it’s a state in the USA and that’s a real driver license.”

(He takes my ID and credit card to a back room where I see him talk frantically to another employee for about five minutes. I am exhausted, so I lean against the counter and wait.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your credit card is no good. The charge won’t go through.”

Me: “What? Are you sure? Can you try running it again? I know there is more than enough money left on it for a room tonight.”

(He took my card and went back to that room for a moment.)

Worker: “I’m sorry; your card isn’t any good. You can’t stay here tonight.”

(I left the hotel and went to another place down the road. The worker at that desk knew where Utah was, saw how tired I was, heard my story, and reserved me a room. He then told me that he wouldn’t let me check in until I took a coupon from their lobby, got myself a hot meal (using the coupon), and gave me a killer discount! A few days later, after settling into my new home, I checked my bank account. The first hotel had charged me as a no call, no show and their corporate office refused to believe that I had shown up and been turned away. It took a lot of arguing to get them to refund me the money for that night.)

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Doesn’t Know No Beans

| Arlington, VA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

(I am at a local chain of Mexican restaurants placing my order at the counter. Note that the quesadilla normally comes with black beans, cheese, and your choice of proteins and fillings.)

Me: “Could I get a quesadilla with chicken, cheese, jalapeño, onion, cilantro, and no beans?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have no beans, only black beans and pinto beans.”

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The Fake Is Not A Lie

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(My business office is fairly nice, and we have an on-site French chef with his own kitchen and staff. They make all kinds of food for various events, one of which is the Friday staff lunch. They always have a variety of foods served buffet-style along with a variety of bite-sized dessert cakes and tarts. For some reason this Friday the dessert section doesn’t have the bite-size pieces, and instead has large round cakes from which people can take a slice. The cakes are labeled as ‘Raspberry Lemon Cake’ and are pink and yellow in color. I’m in line with a bunch of coworkers, ranging in age from 30ish to 50ish, when this gem happens:)

Coworker #1: “Ugh, just look at those things! Disgusting!”

Coworker #2: “What? The cakes? Yeah, I like it when there’s more variety and…”

Coworker #1: *cutting off Coworker #2* “No! I mean, they’re obviously so FAKE!”

Me: “What…? How is it fake? I mean it says ‘cake’ and it’s not a pie, or a tart. It pretty much looks like a cake.”

Coworker #1: “Just look at that color! That’s just so fake! Why can’t they serve real food!”

Me: “The pink and yellow? Well, it IS made with raspberries and lemons…”

Coworker #1: “Ugh! No, they just used raspberry and lemon flavoring! The color is so fake. It’s probably full of chemicals!”

Coworker #2: “Um, no, I’m pretty sure [Chef] insists on using fresh ingredients for everything.”

Me: “And raspberries are pink, after all.”

Coworker #1: “No, they’re not! Everyone knows real fruit juice is clear! They just add food-coloring to make it look like the fruit it comes from so people can tell them apart!”

Me: “What?! No. I’m pretty sure if you squish a raspberry, the juice is pink, because raspberries are pink. It’s a natural color.” *I then grab a slice of the cake, on top of which is a single fresh raspberry, and to prove my point, I squish the raspberry with my fork, and the juice from it runs down the plate, bright pinkish-red*

Me: “See? It’s just naturally that color.”

Coworker #1: “Eww! They even injected the food-coloring into the fruit?! Gross!”

(We both stare at her in disbelief.)

Coworker #2: “That’s not a thing!”

(At that point, I was speechless, so I just took my plate and headed back to my desk, leaving her to argue with our other coworker. I ate the ‘fake’ cake, too. It was delicious!)

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Unable To Change Their View On The Change

| Scotland, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

(Our college campus has two identical hot drinks machines on site and I decide to use the closest one today. I put my money in and the following happens:)

Me: “Hi, this machine doesn’t have a tea button.”

Server: “Oh, you get a tea bag off us for 20p and put 80p in the machine.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I refund my money but don’t get the full £1 back, only 60p.)

Me: “Excuse me; the machine only gave me 60p back and I put a pound in.”

Server: “That’s because the tea is 80p for the hot water and 20p to me for a tea bag.”

Me: “I know it’s that price, but the machine didn’t give me back all my money.”

Server: “I know. That’s because it’s 80p you have to put in the machine.”

Me: “I KNOW! I put £1 in and didn’t get it all back, I only got 60p.”

Server: “But that’s because the water is 80p.”

College Mate: “For god’s sake, listen! She put £1 in and got 60p back. She’s short 40p. Why are you not understanding this?!”

(She gave me the £1 back and I still had the 60p, which I returned. I had to hand her the £1 back and get my tea bag and 80p change. My tea wasn’t very good either.)

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Unable To Conveyer It To Him

| Hoofddorp, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(When the restaurant closes up for the night, our department takes away all the dishes, and cleans up the washing-up room, the coffee bar, and the dinner tables. Tonight I will be closing the coffee bar while my two colleagues will focus on the washing-up room. As we are getting near closing time, one of them starts picking up as many dishes as possible. Dishes are brought to the conveyor belt which brings them into the washing-up. After closing time, we usually block the conveyor belt in order to clean up the machines without being interrupted. Remaining dishes are then put on the nearby table. Tonight, however, I notice something odd. While my colleague, a temporary worker, is picking up all the trays and dishes, I see that the conveyor belt has already been closed by him, even while we’re still open.)

Me: “Sorry, did you close the conveyor belt already?”

Colleague: “Yeah, I’m emptying the dining hall right now.”

Me: *confused for not seeing the connection* “Yes, but why did you close the conveyor belt then?”

Colleague: “So that I could tidy up all the dishes from the dining hall quietly.”

Me: “But wouldn’t that go faster if you didn’t close up the conveyor belt already? I mean, that way, you wouldn’t have to pick up the trays of people who want to deliver their dishes themselves.”

Colleague: *really not getting it* “No, I thought this would be better.”

Me: “I really don’t see why you should close up the conveyor belt already.”

Colleague: “Oh, just so that I could tidy up all the dishes.”

(At that point, I decided to stop trying to explain the error in his totally illogical reasoning. Clearly, everything I said was not coming through.)

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