Category: Extra Stupid

Directing Us Into Another Recession

| Salford, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work for a financial leasing firm which deals with a major electronics store. In this company we have two directors who like to think they know our jobs better than we do. In reality, they do little more than interfere and make an a** of themselves to the extent our manager has told us to ignore them. One day when dealing with an application from a store, one of the in-store advisors calls us to see why customer has failed ID check. After asking a couple of questions it appears that the customer only just moved address and hasn’t had to time to update everything. Happily he agrees to come back and do it in 30 days. When I get off the phone I see both directors sitting on either side of me shaking their heads.)

Me: “Err… Hi!”

Director #1: “What was all that about?”

Director #2: “Why didn’t you process that?”

Me: “We couldn’t ID him. He had only just moved house and not everything was updated.”

Director #1: “So why weren’t you more helpful?”

Director #2: “Surely there other ways of getting around this; what is the normal process?”

Me: “Well, if we can’t ID someone then we can’t proceed to a credit check, and that could potentially be fraud if we ignored it.”

(The two directors just look at each other, then one of them stares at me like I am a complete moron.)

Director #1: “I’m concerned here…”

Director #2: “We should be processing EVERYTHING that comes through. You can’t just turn clients away.”

Me: “I understand, but we have protocol to follow to prevent fraud because there have been a couple of reported case over the last year!”

Director #1: “But how is it practical to deny a customer finance?”

(I don’t bother answering because I am honest confused; what do they want here?)

Director #2: “Right, here’s what YOU are going to do. You will pass all those details onto [Credit Manager] and get her to process this and will personally call this person to apologize!”

Me: “But we can’t—”

Director #1: “Don’t argue, just send it. We’ll wait here so we make sure it’s done.”

(I send the details to the credit manager, who loathes these two even more than I do. Within minutes of doing so she is walking across the room looking very annoyed.)

Credit Manager: “Why are you bothering [My Name] with this? This can’t be processed!”

Director #1: “We have to make sure that—”

Credit Manager: “Look, why do you think we have these measures in place? TO PREVENT FRAUD!”

Director #2: “We just think what’s being done here isn’t practical.”

Credit Manager: “And approving finance to a guy we can’t identify is? Seems a little skewed in my opinion, lads!”

(Immediately the two of them go quiet, one of the directors refuses to look at her.)

Credit Manager: “Why don’t you let [My Name] just do his work? There are other deals we can actually process.”

(The two directors hightail it away muttering to each. The credit manager just shakes her head in disbelief.)

Credit Manager: “Couple of bloody idiots!”

(From then on our manager told them that if they had a problem they were to take it up with her, not just confront the staff directly. Those two never spoke to us again.)

Milking Their Ignorance

| San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(After doing some shopping, I stop in the in-store coffee shop to get a drink.)

Barista #1: “Hi! What can I get you?”

Me: “Can I please have a medium mocha with non-fat milk?”

Barista #1: “Sure thing!”

(Barista #2 starts making my drink, then turns to Barista #1.)

Barista #2: “I wonder what the difference is between non-fat and low fat.”

Barista #1: “Yeah, I dunno. Maybe there isn’t a difference.”

Me: “Uh… I’m pretty sure low fat milk has just a little bit of milk fat, and non-fat milk has no fat.”

Barista #2: “Oh, I guess that makes sense.”

The Manager Needs A Talking-Two

| Canada | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money

(My till is being counted out at the end of the night and my manager is going over all the USD I got. She comes across a two-dollar bill.)

Manager: “[My Name], these are fake. Why did you accept them?”

Me: “There’s a button for USD.”

Manager: “But there’s not a space for it on our sheet so it doesn’t count.” *she crumples up the USD and continues counting*

(I tell my dad this story in the car ride home and he is shocked.)

Dad: “$2 USD is hard to come by. They’re rare!”

(He made me write down date and time of my till counting in case a problem arose so I could prove she threw out ACTUAL currency!)

GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity

| Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “My GPS works during the day; just not at night.”

Me: “Well, duh! It can’t see where it is; how is it supposed to tell you how to get somewhere?”

There Was A Time When Kids Could Tell Time

| UK | Extra Stupid, Time

(I’m working in a coffee shop with a new starter who is in her late teens. This shop has a giant clock mounted to the wall behind the counter. It’s more for aesthetic, but it also means very few of us bother with watches.)

Me: “Okay, [Starter], your break is at three pm.”

Starter: *blank stare*

Me: “Is that all right?”

Starter: “When will I know?”

Me: “That’s about four hours from now.”

Starter: “…but how do I know? I’m not allowed to have my phone.”

Me: “There’s a clock behind you.”

Starter: *staring wildly at the wall, and directly at the clock* “Where?”

Me: “The giant circle.”

Starter: “That’s a CLOCK? It’s just see lines! How can you understand that?”

Me: “It’s an analogue clock. The long… line represents minutes while the short line represents hours. They rotate around the middle as time goes by.”

Starter: *staring at me like I’m from another world* “Who came up with that? Why not just have what’s on my iPhone?”

Me: “That’s digital. I guess the owner wanted an analogue because it looks fancier.”

Starter: “But, the numbers. Where are the numbers?”

Me: “There. They have roman numerals.”

Starter: “Oh, like gypsies?”

(What on earth are we teaching kids these days?)

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