Category: Extra Stupid

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Unable To Conveyer It To Him

| Hoofddorp, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(When the restaurant closes up for the night, our department takes away all the dishes, and cleans up the washing-up room, the coffee bar, and the dinner tables. Tonight I will be closing the coffee bar while my two colleagues will focus on the washing-up room. As we are getting near closing time, one of them starts picking up as many dishes as possible. Dishes are brought to the conveyor belt which brings them into the washing-up. After closing time, we usually block the conveyor belt in order to clean up the machines without being interrupted. Remaining dishes are then put on the nearby table. Tonight, however, I notice something odd. While my colleague, a temporary worker, is picking up all the trays and dishes, I see that the conveyor belt has already been closed by him, even while we’re still open.)

Me: “Sorry, did you close the conveyor belt already?”

Colleague: “Yeah, I’m emptying the dining hall right now.”

Me: *confused for not seeing the connection* “Yes, but why did you close the conveyor belt then?”

Colleague: “So that I could tidy up all the dishes from the dining hall quietly.”

Me: “But wouldn’t that go faster if you didn’t close up the conveyor belt already? I mean, that way, you wouldn’t have to pick up the trays of people who want to deliver their dishes themselves.”

Colleague: *really not getting it* “No, I thought this would be better.”

Me: “I really don’t see why you should close up the conveyor belt already.”

Colleague: “Oh, just so that I could tidy up all the dishes.”

(At that point, I decided to stop trying to explain the error in his totally illogical reasoning. Clearly, everything I said was not coming through.)

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Mass Email Fail

| Summit, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am temping as a production clerk. It’s my responsibility to collect certain data on the previous night’s production and put that data into a spreadsheet, which I then send out in an e-mail to a mailing list. One day, I neglect to include [Specific Data] in my report. Ten minutes later, I rectify this by sending out an updated copy. A few minutes later Payroll Clerk calls me asking a question about Specific Data. Several minutes after that, Purchasing Manager calls…)

Purchasing Manager: “Why didn’t you include [Specific Data] on your report?!

You know I need [Specific Data] every day!”

Me: “Oh, I sent an updated report out about ten minutes ago. Did you not get my second e-mail?”

Purchasing Manager: “I got your e-mail, but the report was not updated!”

Me: “Okay… I just spoke to [Payroll Clerk] about [Specific Data], so I know the second e-mail included the update.”

Purchasing Manager: *belligerently* “Well I didn’t get it!”

Me: “So, let me get this straight; in a mass e-mailing to a specific mailing list, I managed to send everybody the update except you?”

Purchasing Manager: *still belligerent* “That’s RIGHT!”

Me: “…”

(Thankfully, he was only there a few months before he was let go and I was eventually hired permanently!)

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You Want All Of Them As Sure As Eggs Are Eggs

| Boston, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m at the grocery store checking out some eggs. I pick up a half dozen, and as it seems light, open it; there’s only four eggs in there! I bring the carton up to the employee stocking the meats a few feet away.)

Me: “Excuse me; this carton only has four eggs in it.”

Employee: “Oh. Right. Okay…”

(He takes the carton from me and inspects the eggs. I’m about to say “thank you” and go back to looking when…)

Employee: “How many do you want?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Employee: “How many eggs? Do you want the full half dozen?”

Me: “Yes… Yes, I do.”

(I have no idea why he thought I would want a not-full carton of eggs!)

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