Category: Extra Stupid

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I Just Don’t Have The Conservation Of Energy To Deal With This

| WA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(While waiting for lunch to roll around, one of my slightly ditzy coworkers asks this question:)

Coworker: “Do you think if you were strong enough you could lift yourself up by your own arm?”

Me: “You mean one-handed pull ups?”

Coworker: “No, like this.”

(She then holds one hand in the air and grabs it with the other, while not actually holding onto any solid object.)

Me: “Um… no that wouldn’t work.”

Coworker: “Why not?”

Me: “Because… physics.”

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Email Fail, Part 6

| Amsterdam | Extra Stupid, Technology

(My coworker can’t log into his work account, which means he can’t use any of the programs we need to do our work, including his email account. He phones tech support.)

Coworker: “Hi, I can’t login. Can you help?”

Tech Support: “Unfortunately there is an overall problem with login in. We will let you know when it is fixed so you can login normally again.”

Coworker: “So you will call me when I can log in again?”

Tech Support: “No, that is too much work. To save time we will email everyone who has this problem.”

Coworker: “But if I can’t login, I can’t read the email you will send.”

Tech Support: “We will email you.” *click*

Related:
Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4
Email Fail, Part 3

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We’re All Just Five Minutes Away From Going Crazy

| Leeds, Yorkshire, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m having health and safety training with some of our cleaners. Someone in from the hospital is pompously teaching us about complicated-sounding diseases and chemicals, when the ‘Windows Update’ notification pops up in the corner. The trainer clicks on ‘postpone for five minutes’. Not surprisingly, it shows up five minutes later.)

Trainer: “That’s strange; I could’ve sworn I’d just gotten rid of that thing.” *clicks ‘postpone for five minutes again*

Trainer: *five minutes later* “Oh, it’s that silly thing again! Computers, tsk. They’re so annoying.” *clicks ‘postpone for five minutes’ again*

(We all look at each other, wondering whether to say something, but he’s started talking about medical things again. This repeats a few more times.)

Trainer: “Oh, this bloody thing! Why do I even need a computer to do this?! I have a PhD! Ok, I’m going for a smoke; I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Cleaner: “I’m going to change that before I go insane.” *goes and changes it to ‘postpone for four hours’*

Trainer: *returns* “Oh! Oh, thank God, it seems to have gone on its own.”

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