Category: Extra Stupid

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Doesn’t Get The Basic Print-siple

| UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a library. One of my coworkers approaches me with a sheaf of paper in her hands.)

Coworker: “So, how do I know when my print job has finished?”

Me: “Um, when the printer stops printing out paper?”

Coworker: “Well, I know that! But how do I know it’s actually finished?”

Me: “Do you have everything you sent to print?”

Coworker: “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

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Tried To Change The Outcome

| Greenville, SC, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am stopping by a local burger place known for their king-like mascot. After placing my order in the drive-thru I pull up to pay. This is where all the fun begins…)

Cashier: “The total is [something less than 10 dollars].”

Me: “Here you go.” *hands over a ten dollar bill*

(Without looking, the cashier opened her till, took out a few bills and handed them back to me. When I look in my hand I see the ten I had just given her along with a twenty dollar bill.)

Me: “Um, ma’am? You gave me thirty dollars back in change.”

(Cashier just has a blank expression.)

Me: “I… gave you a ten. You gave me back way too much money. Your till is going to be short. My change should be [somewhere around two dollars].”

Cashier: “One second, sir.”

(She disappears for a minute, and then comes back with a gruff looking manager.)

Manager: “Is there a problem with your change, sir?”

Me: “Yes. Your cashier gave me back too much money. I paid with a ten, and she handed me thirty dollars back. She’s going to be short, and I just wanted to make sure her till wasn’t going to be off.”

Manager: “Sir, I watched her give you correct change. I don’t know what kind of scam you’re running, but it isn’t happening here. Here’s your order. Now get out of our drive-thru.”

(And that is how you get paid to eat at a burger place. I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces when her till was short at least thirty dollars.)

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A Ham-Fisted Attempt At Vegetarianism

| Belgium | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s late in the evening. My mother and I had a very long day, and neither of us are in the mood to cook, so we decided to grab a snack at the chip van. Note that I’m a vegetarian.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, are those lumpias vegetarian?”

Him: “Yes, ma’am! There is just some sparkle of ham in it.”

Me: “…”

(My mother could barely retain her laughter until we left.)

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Will Roam Around For A Second Opinion

| NJ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My mother is not the most tech savvy person, so she usually comes to me with her phone problems. The other day she told me her phone kept dying despite charging it all the time. I figured it was either the charger, the port on the phone, or the battery itself, so on Sunday afternoon we take it to the local phone store. To start, the store is completely empty. We stand at the counter and notice the backroom door open. My mom takes a peek inside before someone finally runs out wearing a football jersey and asks how he can help us. I explain the phone situation and ask what he thinks the problem is. He takes the phone into the backroom and reappears ten minutes later.)

Jersey: “It’s a roaming issue.”

Me: “Roaming issue?”

Jersey: “Yeah, if the phone thinks you’re roaming it sometimes does that.”

Me: “You mean to tell me that because of my geographical location, the phone won’t charge correctly?”

Jersey: “Yeah.”

Me: “Are you sure it’s not the battery, or the charger, or something?”

Jersey: “Nope, it’s a roaming issue.”

(At this point there is cheering from the backroom and the employee becomes noticeably agitated and fidgety.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just turn the roaming off.”

(As soon as we left, the employee ran into the back room. We called tech support and learned it was just the battery and a replacement was sent. I recommended a replacement for their store manager as well.)

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Not Even Remotely Competent

| LA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My coworker isn’t getting an Internet connection on her computer after a power surge. I’m no full service technician, but I know some fixes. I check it out and say that the network card is more than likely broken and needs to be replaced. But regardless, the Internet is out for her computer. She calls our regular tech support computer guy who comes to visit the office.)

Tech Support Guy: *on the phone* “Okay, I’ll do a remote connection over the Internet to see what’s wrong with your computer.”

(I and three other people all face-palmed in unison.)

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