Category: Extra Stupid

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We’re All Just Five Minutes Away From Going Crazy

| Leeds, Yorkshire, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m having health and safety training with some of our cleaners. Someone in from the hospital is pompously teaching us about complicated-sounding diseases and chemicals, when the ‘Windows Update’ notification pops up in the corner. The trainer clicks on ‘postpone for five minutes’. Not surprisingly, it shows up five minutes later.)

Trainer: “That’s strange; I could’ve sworn I’d just gotten rid of that thing.” *clicks ‘postpone for five minutes again*

Trainer: *five minutes later* “Oh, it’s that silly thing again! Computers, tsk. They’re so annoying.” *clicks ‘postpone for five minutes’ again*

(We all look at each other, wondering whether to say something, but he’s started talking about medical things again. This repeats a few more times.)

Trainer: “Oh, this bloody thing! Why do I even need a computer to do this?! I have a PhD! Ok, I’m going for a smoke; I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Cleaner: “I’m going to change that before I go insane.” *goes and changes it to ‘postpone for four hours’*

Trainer: *returns* “Oh! Oh, thank God, it seems to have gone on its own.”

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Will Say It Vegan And Again

| Santa Fe, NM, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(This restaurant is known for having vegan options of traditional Santa Fe foods. I am not vegan.)

Me: “Hi, could I get the chicken tortilla soup without the cheese or sour cream on top?”

Worker: “Vegan?”

Me: “No, I want the chicken, just not the sour cream or cheese. I don’t really like them.”

Worker: “So, vegan?”

Me: “No, I want the chicken. Just the regular soup, please, without the topping.”

Worker: “…Vegan?”

Me: “Just regular chicken soup. Chicken chicken. Please.”

(I got home, opened the soup, and began eating… only to realize the chunks of chicken were actually tofu!)

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Someone Be The Voice Of Reason

| Surrey, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I woke up without my voice on a day off, so my mum makes my sister, who works in the same cinema as me, call into the office.)

Manager: “[Chain] at [Site]. [Manager] speaking.”

Sister: “Hi, [Manager], this is [Sister].”

Manager: “Hi, are you all right?”

Sister: “I’m fine, but [My Name] has lost her voice. She wants you to know that before her shift tomorrow.”

Manager: “Okay, well, get her to call tomorrow to let us know if that’s still the case.”

Sister: “Uh…”

Manager: “What?”

Sister: “How is she going to tell you if she’s still got no voice tomorrow?”