Category: Extra Stupid

An Exacting Complication

| BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I and two of my friends are at a convenience store buying drinks. My friends drink is 2.73 including tax. He hands the cashier exactly 2.73. But the cashier doesn’t take it.)

Friend: “Here you go.”

Cashier: “This isn’t enough.”

Friend: “What do you mean. You said it was 2.73 and I gave you 2.73 exactly.”

Cashier: “Exact change isn’t enough.”

Friend: “What the h*** are you on about. I gave you the exact money. Why can’t I have this drink if I gave the exact change?”

Cashier: “Fine, I’ll cover it this time.”

Friend: *confused face*

Cashier: “Go. Before I change my mind about helping you.”

(My friend was muttering about the cashier all the way back to his house.)

An Untold Number Of Times

| SK, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(My job is pretty relaxed, and everyone keeps their phones with them. I’m doing some cleaning at one end of the building when my phone rings.)

Me: *answering my cell phone* “Hello?”

Man: “Hi! I’m calling for [Name].”

Me: “Oh, sorry, you must have the wrong number.”

(The man hangs up without saying anything further. I think nothing of it and continue going about what I was doing. A few minutes later, my phone rings again. It’s the same number. I decide to answer again.)

Me: “Hello?”

Man: “Hello, I’m looking for [Name].”

Me: “Yeah, this is the same number you called before. You have the wrong number.”

Man: “Oh, sorry about that.” *hangs up*

(I go back to what I was doing. Remarkably, a few minutes later, my phone rings again. And it’s the same number. I ignore it this time, assuming he’ll get the hint. I decide I need to tell my coworker about this, who’s on the other side of the building. As I’m walking, my phone rings AGAIN. Guess who it is?)

Me: *starting to get annoyed* “Hi, you’ve called the wrong number.”

Man: “Oh, sorry.”

Me: “Yeah, this is the fourth time you’ve called my number….”

Man: “Right. Sorry. Won’t happen again. I’ll delete your number.” *hangs up*

(I get to my coworker’s office.)

Me: “Hey, you’re not going to believe this. This guy just called me four separate times, and every time I’ve told him he has the wrong number, and—“ *my phone starts ringing* “Are you freaking kidding me?” *answers* “Sir, I don’t know what to tell you except that this is a WRONG NUMBER. You’ve now called me FIVE times, and you need to try dialling a DIFFERENT number now.”

Man: “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry! I hope you’re having a nice day other than my pestering you…”

You’re In Hot Water Now

| MN, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work at a hotel. It is a cold winter’s day, and a window happens to freeze up.)

Me: “We need to scrape it off; I’ll get the scraper.”

Coworker: “Can’t we just melt it with hot water?”

Me: ”No, the water would just freeze.”

Coworker: “But it’s hot water.”

Me: “It still freezes; I’ll get the scraper.”

(I go to get the scraper and come back seeing my coworker pouring hot water on the ice.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I’m melting the ice.”

Me: “I told you not to!”

Coworker: “But it’ll melt faster!”

(Thermodynamics happened; melting didn’t.)

You Say Tomato, I Say Scam

| WY, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(My roommate and I are at a fast food restaurant with two names, depending on which region you live in. They are known for having left and right drive-thru lanes as well as walk up windows. I drive up to the speaker in the left lane that requires the passenger to pay at the window and collect the food, but the driver orders at the speaker. Important to note: their burgers are always pre-made, so when you ask for something to be left off, they just pull it off unless you mention an allergy. Horrible, I know. But they’re open super late, and it’s slim pickings for someone that gets off work at midnight.)

Cashier: “Order when you’re ready.”

Me: “We have two separate orders. For the first one, I have a coupon for [some meal deal], small, Coke to drink, please. No tomato. For the second order, we have the same coupon. Small, cherry Coke.”

Cashier: “All right, I’ll have your totals at the window when I get the coupons. Please pull forward.”

(As I’m pulling up, my roommate turns to me.)

Roommate: “Can I have your tomato for my sandwich?”

Me: “Absolutely, I hate those things. Cancel the no tomato for mine and ask them to put it on yours when we get up there.”

Roommate: *to cashier at the window* “Can you please put her tomato on my sandwich instead of tossing it?”

Cashier: *stares for a moment* “Uh… I’d have to charge you for it.”

(We both just stare at him, hoping he will realize how ridiculous that is…. He does not.)

Roommate: “You’re going to toss it. Instead of tossing it in the trash, toss it on my burger. Why would you charge me for that? I guess I can understand if it’s restaurant policy not to put it on another order or something…”

Cashier: “We don’t have a policy like that. But you’re asking me for extra tomato, I have to charge. You can’t get something extra for nothing.”

Me: “We aren’t asking for extra… Just… forget the no tomato on my order. Leave it on, please.” *to my roommate* “I’ll pass it to you when we drive away, then. This is kind of silly.”

Cashier: *overhearing* “Then I still have to charge you for the extra tomato on her sandwich. That’s how it works.”

Roommate: “Don’t you dare! What are you missing here? Two [meal deals] just as they come, no modifications, please and thanks. That’s it, really.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay!” *rings us up and hands her the bag through the window*

Both: *in unison* “Thanks!”

(Before I pulled off I opened the bag, unwrapped both burgers, and placed my tomato slice on her sandwich. We both smiled at the cashier, who was staring with disbelief, and I drove off.)

Time For A P Break

| USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I’m trying to set up my online account for the local public transport system via phone, and it isn’t working.)

Me: “Yeah, so I entered my email and the password, and it keeps saying it’s invalid. Am I doing something wrong?”

Employee: “No, that should work, as long as you’re using the information you told me. The email is xxxhamster4, right?”

Me: “Yes, that’s it. And the password is [password].”

Employee: “I don’t know what to tell you. It just doesn’t seem to be working.”

Me: “Well, is there something else I could do? I’m going to be using this card every day; I need to be able to fill it up without going to the main store all the time.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this system is relatively new. It may just be a glitch.”

Me: “Just to be sure, can we maybe double-check that you have my information down right? It’s x-x-x-h-a-m-s-t-e-r-7, with the 7 as a number, not spelled out, and the email address is @[website]—“

Employee: “I think I know what’s wrong. You forgot the ‘p’.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Employee: “The ‘p’. In hamster. No wonder it hasn’t been going through.”

Me: “Um… there isn’t a ‘p’ in hamster.”

Employee: “…oh.”

(Once she corrected the spelling on her end, the account worked perfectly.)