Category: Extra Stupid

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Take It As Read

| New Zealand | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My colleague comes in with a late, very complicated ad brief when we’re well over deadline and very stressed.)

Colleague: *magnanimously* “But don’t worry, I’ll type up the copy for you.”

(A little later, I finish up what I’m doing and am ready to start on the late one.)

Me: “[Colleague], where did you save the copy for that ad?”

Colleague: “I didn’t save it. I just typed it.”

Me: “Why would you type it up but not save it?”

Colleague: “Well, I printed it out. So now you have an easy to read copy.”

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The Water Went Higher Than Their IQ

| Boulder, CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

(The entire town has been flooded out, and my crawl space is no exception. My insurance company and a plumber have been doing a phenomenal job of dealing with the damage, but the government in its wisdom decides their FEMA inspector must check.)

FEMA Guy: *coming up through the hatch to my crawl space* “I got a really good picture of the high water mark down there!”

Me: “So, I’ve been wondering, about how high was the water?”

FEMA Guy: “I don’t know. This is a digital camera!”

Me: *pretending I didn’t hear that brilliant statement* “Well, could I have copies of your photos for my insurance company?”

FEMA Guy: “Absolutely NOT! These are a matter of public record!”

(Sigh…)

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Cooking Up A Resignation Letter

| BC, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Non-Dialogue

I work in a new hotel setting up and running the breakfast bar. My boss, the owner/manager, has interesting ideas on how things should be done and will make “suggestions” that she expected me to implement. Some of the time they work fine, but others, not so much.

For example, the time she told me to use a plastic bin in the convection oven because you aren’t supposed to use metal. Yeah, no. I opened the oven to see a river of molten plastic running down the racks, with half-cooked scrambled eggs mixed in.

Another time it was cook the scrambled eggs that came in an oblong plastic bag in the microwave. Should work, right? Well, since the bag was too long to turn on the turntable, it cooked partially and exploded all over the microwave.

Of course, since I did it, it was my fault when things went wrong. And I got to clean up the mess every time!

Love it when the boss hasn’t a clue how to cook!

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O My

| Australia | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in the R&D arm of a very well-known engineering company. One day I walk into the staff kitchen to see a manager filling up a glass of water from the tap and emptying it again with a look of disgust. It should be noted that the water was slightly cloudy due to tiny air bubbles in it, which can happen sometimes.)

Me: “Uh, what are you doing?”

Manager: “Ugh, I can’t stand oxygenated water; it’s not good for you!”

Me: “You do know what the O in H2O stands for, right?”

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The Problems Are Racooning Up

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, New Hires

(I work as a data-entry temp with three other women, assisting the merchandisers of a national retail chain with various paperwork. Some time before the end of our five-month contract, we’re asked to help a new French intern to learn some of our tasks, as she’ll be performing them when we leave.)

Me: *spends 45 minutes explaining the New Item form in detail* “You should really take notes; it’s a lot of information. We’ll still be there for a few weeks, so you can ask us anytime, but you’ll have to learn to do it on your own.”

Intern: “Oh, yeah, okay. What’s a SKU?”

(We’ve been referring to items as “SKU”s for the whole two weeks she’s been there already.)

Me: “Er, well it’s the unique code for an item, but we refer to products as ‘SKU’s usually.”

Intern: *seeming unsure* “Oh, okay.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really don’t know how else to explain it.”

Intern: “Oh, no it’s okay. I understand.”

(We have to re-explain everything every single time she is trying to perform any of the tasks we’ve shown her. Our respective supervisors think we are exaggerating, until they have to repeatedly teach her things themselves. She does not comprehend the functioning of spreadsheet software, despite being apparently far enough in her marketing studies to obtain an internship overseas. She is also a bit naive.)

Intern: “So where can I find raccoons?”

(My coworkers and I look at each other.)

Coworker #1: “Why do you want to see raccoons?”

Intern: “Oh, well, I want to feed them!”

Coworker #2: “They’re wild animals, and they can be aggressive and carry disease. You shouldn’t try to feed them.”

Intern: “But I saw people do it on YouTube!”

Me: “That doesn’t mean it’s good idea!”

(I never knew whether she did find raccoons. When we left, she was still there, and our supervisors were pulling their hair out, wondering what to do with a worker than took more time out of their schedule than she was saving them.)