Category: Extra Stupid


Unable To Conveyer It To Him

| Hoofddorp, The Netherlands | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(When the restaurant closes up for the night, our department takes away all the dishes, and cleans up the washing-up room, the coffee bar, and the dinner tables. Tonight I will be closing the coffee bar while my two colleagues will focus on the washing-up room. As we are getting near closing time, one of them starts picking up as many dishes as possible. Dishes are brought to the conveyor belt which brings them into the washing-up. After closing time, we usually block the conveyor belt in order to clean up the machines without being interrupted. Remaining dishes are then put on the nearby table. Tonight, however, I notice something odd. While my colleague, a temporary worker, is picking up all the trays and dishes, I see that the conveyor belt has already been closed by him, even while we’re still open.)

Me: “Sorry, did you close the conveyor belt already?”

Colleague: “Yeah, I’m emptying the dining hall right now.”

Me: *confused for not seeing the connection* “Yes, but why did you close the conveyor belt then?”

Colleague: “So that I could tidy up all the dishes from the dining hall quietly.”

Me: “But wouldn’t that go faster if you didn’t close up the conveyor belt already? I mean, that way, you wouldn’t have to pick up the trays of people who want to deliver their dishes themselves.”

Colleague: *really not getting it* “No, I thought this would be better.”

Me: “I really don’t see why you should close up the conveyor belt already.”

Colleague: “Oh, just so that I could tidy up all the dishes.”

(At that point, I decided to stop trying to explain the error in his totally illogical reasoning. Clearly, everything I said was not coming through.)


Mass Email Fail

| Summit, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am temping as a production clerk. It’s my responsibility to collect certain data on the previous night’s production and put that data into a spreadsheet, which I then send out in an e-mail to a mailing list. One day, I neglect to include [Specific Data] in my report. Ten minutes later, I rectify this by sending out an updated copy. A few minutes later Payroll Clerk calls me asking a question about Specific Data. Several minutes after that, Purchasing Manager calls…)

Purchasing Manager: “Why didn’t you include [Specific Data] on your report?!

You know I need [Specific Data] every day!”

Me: “Oh, I sent an updated report out about ten minutes ago. Did you not get my second e-mail?”

Purchasing Manager: “I got your e-mail, but the report was not updated!”

Me: “Okay… I just spoke to [Payroll Clerk] about [Specific Data], so I know the second e-mail included the update.”

Purchasing Manager: *belligerently* “Well I didn’t get it!”

Me: “So, let me get this straight; in a mass e-mailing to a specific mailing list, I managed to send everybody the update except you?”

Purchasing Manager: *still belligerent* “That’s RIGHT!”

Me: “…”

(Thankfully, he was only there a few months before he was let go and I was eventually hired permanently!)


You Want All Of Them As Sure As Eggs Are Eggs

| Boston, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m at the grocery store checking out some eggs. I pick up a half dozen, and as it seems light, open it; there’s only four eggs in there! I bring the carton up to the employee stocking the meats a few feet away.)

Me: “Excuse me; this carton only has four eggs in it.”

Employee: “Oh. Right. Okay…”

(He takes the carton from me and inspects the eggs. I’m about to say “thank you” and go back to looking when…)

Employee: “How many do you want?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Employee: “How many eggs? Do you want the full half dozen?”

Me: “Yes… Yes, I do.”

(I have no idea why he thought I would want a not-full carton of eggs!)


A Bag Day To Quit Bagging

| Germany | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

Me: “Hi. I’ll take [Burger] with a large diet [Soda].”

Employee: “Sure. Will this be a takeaway?”

Me: “Yep.” *being really eco-minded and knowing they pack everything several times in this particular chain* “But I don’t need a bag for the burger.”

Employee: *looks at me dumbfounded for about 20 seconds, then grabs a bag*

Me: “Excuse me. Thank you, but I really don’t need a bag.”

Employee: *looks dumbfounded again for quite some time, then bags the burger nevertheless* “Here you go.”

(I walk out and go sit in the car. A friend who was ordering at the register next to me comes out shortly afterwards.)

Friend: “Did you really just cause a guy to bluescreen because you didn’t want a bag?”


Let’s Hope He Has Onion Representation

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, New Hires

(I am training a new cashier. He has yet to learn most of the produce codes, so he often looks them up in an alphabetical list provided to us. The list can be somewhat confusing, as something like “red peppers” would be listed as “peppers, red,” and so on. He comes upon red onions.)

New Cashier: “Are these under ‘R’ for red or ‘U’ for onion?”

(I’m not sure how long he’ll last.)