Category: Extra Stupid

Will Come Back All Flushed

| England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

(A man knocks on the door of our second floor office – note the floors are leased to different companies.)

Man: “We’re just doing some plumbing downstairs and we need to make sure nobody uses the toilet over the next hour or so.”

Me: “Sure. I can put a sign up, but just so you know our urinals flush automatically.”

Man: “That’s fine as long as nobody is using them.”

Me: “Are you sure? They will flush themselves. I’m pretty sure it does it throughout the day.”

Man: “It’s fine, just make sure nobody uses them.”

(I shrug at him, thinking he must know otherwise or the urinals didn’t matter, and let everyone know, then head to town for lunch. On my return…)

Colleague: “Some guy came up shouting that we’d flushed the toilet.”

(Sometimes you really wish you could have been there…)

This Is How The Outbreak Happens…

| USA | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Popular, Trending

(I work in a lab that studies a particular animal disease. As such, our lab has designated disease rooms where lab coats and gloves are required. Anything set down on the floor or counters is considered to be contaminated, and cannot leave the room. Naturally, access to these rooms is restricted, but the doors are not locked. I am working in a disease room when a sales rep for a scientific equipment company walks in.)

Sales Rep: “Hello, my name is [Name] and I represent [Company]. I would like to talk to you about our new 50ml conical tubes.” *pulls two plastic tubes and sets them on the counter*

Me: “Umm… ma’am, you can’t be in here. This is a [Disease] positive room.”

Sales Rep: “Oh! I didn’t know that!” *grabs the tubes and is about to stuff them back into her bag*

Me: “No, no, no! Those are contaminated; they have to stay in here now.”

Sales Rep: “Oh, sorry!” *sets the tubes back down* “I’m not a biologist; I got my degree in chemistry.” *runs out*

(Chemistry degree or not, I don’t know how she could have missed the bright orange “Biohazard,” “Restricted Access,” and “Proper Protective Equipment Required” signs at eye level on the doors.)

Under New Mismanagement, Part 6

| AB, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

(There’s some management shake-ups, and my department gets a new manager. As is common, the new manager quickly dismisses the old manager as a “crazy old man” and throws out most of the old methods. About a year under his reign, we’re subject to a government audit. It takes some long hours, but we get everything together and pass with flying colours. A few days later, the manager and I are doing a postmortem on the audit.)

Manager: “Hey, you know those reports you had to do for the audit? I’m thinking about making EVERY department head do a watered-down version of them, so we’re ready to go if this ever happens again. What do you think?”

Me: “Oh, it’d be nice to start doing that again. [Old Manager] made us do it all the time. Had it worked down to an easy-to-use, condensed form we filled out every month. ”

Manager: “WHAT? Why did everyone stop doing that?”

Me: “Um… well, you weren’t asking for them, so we all stopped doing them, I guess.”

Manager: “OH, DEAR GOD! Why won’t anyone tell me how to do my job? Why? Why?”

(I then sat there in awkward silence for the next five minutes as he had a meltdown over how difficult he found his job.)

Related:

Under New Mismanagement, Part 5

Under New Mismanagement, Part 4

Under New Mismanagement, Part 3

Makes You Want To ‘Walk Out’

, | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(At weekends, I run the very small call centre for my workplace, usually just two people. This day, one of our newer members of staff is rota’d in with me. It’s worth noting she’s been in the industry nearly as long as I have, and is studying at university.)

Coworker: *on phone* “We don’t have any appointments for that time, but if you just come in we can see you as a walk-in.” *muffled reply* “Okay, so that will be 2.30 tomorrow, for a walk-in appointment.” *hangs up*

Me: *stares in abject horror*

Coworker: “[My Name], I think there’s something wrong with the system. It won’t let me book a walk-in appointment for tomorrow.”

(After twenty minutes of me trying to explain that a walk-in appointment can only be booked when a patient WALKS IN, I convinced a manager to take her off the phones, and never let her work them again. I’m still not sure she understands why.)

Failed On The First Attempt

| NY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

(My notoriously frustrating manager hands me proof-read and asks me to fix a proposal he had typed up for his boss. I finish it and print it out for him to review.)

Manager: “There should be more than one page. Where is the second page?”

Me: “…After the first?”

(They were all stapled together.)