Category: Extra Stupid

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Stupidity, Part 2

| Germany | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I have a free period and decide to sneak in a early lunch at a well-known fast food place. I don’t usually do this because I’m vegetarian and their veggie food just tastes somewhat stale. However, I order a Veggie Burger and start eating only to notice something unusual. I take the burger apart only to notice lots of bacon on it. I head back to the till.)

Me: “Sorry to bother you. Is it possible that there’s BACON on my VEGGIE burger?”

Employee: “Wha… Oh… Yes. So sorry! I’ll get the manager.”

(She heads to the back. The place is rather empty so while waiting for the manager I can eavesdrop on the conversation between the employee and (what seems to be) the “cook.”)

Employee: “Did you put bacon on a veggie burger?!”

Cook: “Yes… Why?”

Employee: “There’s supposed to be no meat on a VEGGIE burger.”

Cook: “Well, there was no meat on it. Only bacon.”

Employee: “Bacon IS meat!”

Cook: “But… but… it just tastes better with bacon!”

With Great Bacon, Comes Great Stupidity

Not The Sharpest Arrow

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am covering the help desk for the usual guy that is out sick.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the help desk. How can I help you?”

Self-Important Coworker: “My computer has broken and I can’t work! This is the third time I’ve had to call in this week! Does anyone there know to actually fix anything!?”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry you’re having difficulties. If you can explain the issue you’re experiencing I can try to resolve it for you.”

Self-Important Coworker: “My mouse isn’t working! I’ve been working on this spreadsheet for four hours and it’s due by the end of the day! Now the mouse is stuck on the right side of the screen and I can’t get it to go back! If I’m late with this I’m going to tell my manager it’s your fault!”

(I get her information and remotely access her system.)

Me: “Okay. Can you show me where the problem is?”

(She clicks on the spreadsheet in the taskbar, so obviously the mouse is working.)

Self-Important Coworker: “Right here! Look! It’s on column 45! When I hit enter is just goes down!”

(Without thinking about it, I hold down the left-arrow key and scroll back to column one. Before I have a chance to say anything she chimes back in.)

Self-Important Coworker: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! How did you do that?!”

Me: “Uh, I just hit the left arrow key on the keyboard.”

Self-Important Coworker: “Oh.”

Me: “You can also scroll with the arrows.” *demonstrate by clicking on the scroll bar* “Does that solve your issue?”

Self-Important Coworker: “Um, yeah. Thanks.”

Me: *face-palm* “Thank you for calling.”

Alpha-Betting On You Doing It For Them

| Northern Ireland, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

(I’m a senior receptionist, and I get two brand-new coworkers. Neither of them are “particularly bright.” I am alphabetizing some files, and mid-task my boss phones reception.)

Boss: “[My Name], I’m about to leave the office to get on a plane, but I’m supposed to go to a meeting. Will you go instead and take notes for me?”

Me: “Sure. Where’s the meeting?”

(She tells me, and I turn to my new coworkers. They are both sitting at the same computer, chatting and not even pretending to work.)

Me: “[Coworker 1], [Boss] asked me to go to a meeting for an hour. Can you finish alphabetizing these cards while I’m gone?”

Coworker: “Okay, I suppose so.”

(It’s mostly finished when I leave; the rest would take about 15 minutes at the most. I go to the meeting and come back an hour and a half later. Guess what? It’s not finished.)

Me: *eye-twitching* “Did you get a chance to finish these cards?”

Coworker: “No, I forgot the alphabet half-way through.”

(I turned around and walked out of reception right there. Not only was that an excuse designed to make her look stupid, but the whole time I was gone SHE WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF A FUNCTIONAL COMPUTER. Even if she had a mind blank, she could have gone online and searched for the alphabet! I moved away a few months later, and found out from a different coworker that she was fired a little after I left.)


| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am at a “trendy” restaurant that seems to only hire very attractive and not-too-bright staff. I’m sitting in the restaurant with my family and the waitress comes up to refill my water glass. When she does she spills a lot of water on the floor.)

Waitress: “Oh! I ALWAYS do that.”

(She puts my glass down and walks off leaving the puddle of water on the floor. She returns several minutes later and the puddle is still there.)

Me: “Are you just going to leave that water there? Someone could slip on it.”

Waitress: *points at her shoes* “Oh, no one’s going to slip. We’re all required to wear non-slip shoes.”

Me: “You know you’re not the only one’s walking around in here. The customers aren’t necessarily wearing non-slip shoes.”

Waitress: “Oh…”

(She walked off and never returned to clean up the spill. It was still there when we left.)

Hits You Like A Frap In The Face

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m at a well-known restaurant known for “Mc” In front of some of their foods. It’s my turn to order and the manager is taking my order.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Me: “Yes, please. May I get the double cheeseburger medium meal? May I get a mocha frappuccino for my drink, please?”

(Please note, I have asked for said drink before.)

Manager: “We don’t have frappuccinos. We have frappes?”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Uh, yes. That, please. Thank you.”

(Though a simple thing, I was just surprised that a manager at the restaurant had no idea they were the same thing. Who knew!)