Category: Extra Stupid

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A Ham-Fisted Attempt At Vegetarianism

| Belgium | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s late in the evening. My mother and I had a very long day, and neither of us are in the mood to cook, so we decided to grab a snack at the chip van. Note that I’m a vegetarian.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, are those lumpias vegetarian?”

Him: “Yes, ma’am! There is just some sparkle of ham in it.”

Me: “…”

(My mother could barely retain her laughter until we left.)

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Will Roam Around For A Second Opinion

| NJ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My mother is not the most tech savvy person, so she usually comes to me with her phone problems. The other day she told me her phone kept dying despite charging it all the time. I figured it was either the charger, the port on the phone, or the battery itself, so on Sunday afternoon we take it to the local phone store. To start, the store is completely empty. We stand at the counter and notice the backroom door open. My mom takes a peek inside before someone finally runs out wearing a football jersey and asks how he can help us. I explain the phone situation and ask what he thinks the problem is. He takes the phone into the backroom and reappears ten minutes later.)

Jersey: “It’s a roaming issue.”

Me: “Roaming issue?”

Jersey: “Yeah, if the phone thinks you’re roaming it sometimes does that.”

Me: “You mean to tell me that because of my geographical location, the phone won’t charge correctly?”

Jersey: “Yeah.”

Me: “Are you sure it’s not the battery, or the charger, or something?”

Jersey: “Nope, it’s a roaming issue.”

(At this point there is cheering from the backroom and the employee becomes noticeably agitated and fidgety.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just turn the roaming off.”

(As soon as we left, the employee ran into the back room. We called tech support and learned it was just the battery and a replacement was sent. I recommended a replacement for their store manager as well.)

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Not Even Remotely Competent

| LA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My coworker isn’t getting an Internet connection on her computer after a power surge. I’m no full service technician, but I know some fixes. I check it out and say that the network card is more than likely broken and needs to be replaced. But regardless, the Internet is out for her computer. She calls our regular tech support computer guy who comes to visit the office.)

Tech Support Guy: *on the phone* “Okay, I’ll do a remote connection over the Internet to see what’s wrong with your computer.”

(I and three other people all face-palmed in unison.)

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Take It As Read

| New Zealand | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My colleague comes in with a late, very complicated ad brief when we’re well over deadline and very stressed.)

Colleague: *magnanimously* “But don’t worry, I’ll type up the copy for you.”

(A little later, I finish up what I’m doing and am ready to start on the late one.)

Me: “[Colleague], where did you save the copy for that ad?”

Colleague: “I didn’t save it. I just typed it.”

Me: “Why would you type it up but not save it?”

Colleague: “Well, I printed it out. So now you have an easy to read copy.”

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The Water Went Higher Than Their IQ

| Boulder, CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

(The entire town has been flooded out, and my crawl space is no exception. My insurance company and a plumber have been doing a phenomenal job of dealing with the damage, but the government in its wisdom decides their FEMA inspector must check.)

FEMA Guy: *coming up through the hatch to my crawl space* “I got a really good picture of the high water mark down there!”

Me: “So, I’ve been wondering, about how high was the water?”

FEMA Guy: “I don’t know. This is a digital camera!”

Me: *pretending I didn’t hear that brilliant statement* “Well, could I have copies of your photos for my insurance company?”

FEMA Guy: “Absolutely NOT! These are a matter of public record!”

(Sigh…)